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I beg Your Pardon, Madmatt Never Promised Us A Peng Challenge Garden


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Originally posted by YK2:

Boo are you suggesting that me luvvy Jack and Leeo be Gay?!?!

GUARDS!!!

Off with Radleys head.... and remember.... a clean cut if you please..

I Just had the carpets cleaned ...

Half a mo, Your Majesty.

(Takes glasses off, cleans them, puts them back on, squints at the screen, removes glasses again, recleans them, puts them back on again and once again squints at the screen.)

Oh, it's Jack Sparrow! I see the problem now. Looking at the image through a filmy haze of drying splashed blood and entrails acquired by my vicious brutalization of no less than THREE of the <small>goddamers</small> in my battles with them, I mistook the very manly and robust Capt. Jack for a poof.

Sorry, My Queen, sorry. So very sorry. Sorry.

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Originally posted by YK2:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

No Leeo, you insufferable twat!

You are funny weird, not funny ha-ha.

Your inane blathering tires me. Go soak your head in a vat of lye why don't 'cha.

*sheesh* You have to spell everything out for these dunderheads nowadays.

Lady Moraine!!!!

How could you speak to Leeo like that?

He's one of my most loyal subjects and is always ready to help out the Ladies of the pool at the drop of a hat. (Scowls at Lady Moraine )...

Now please help him out of that vat... he appears to have taken your request seriously....

***respectfully and carefully snipped for brevity*** </font>

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I mistook the very manly and robust Capt. Jack for a poof.

Sorry, My Queen, sorry. So very sorry. Sorry.

Well Boo I decided to give my men some free time to go get drunk and mix with some wimmen folk down at the local ale house...

I'll leave a note on the door to let them know you have been granted a stay...

You may get up from your knees now and pour me another glass of wine...

*Hic*

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Moraine!!!!!

* shakes head *

I'm sick and tired of explaining the difference between boys and girls to you....

I thought once you had the title of Lady Moraine then you would stop fighting with the men folk.. Oh dear....What am I to do with you?

Hmmmmmmmm * Thinks

Come to my chambers Moraine It's time you got out of those pantaloons and into a gown....

And no kicking Boo on the way past..

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Originally posted by YK2:

Well Boo I decided to give my men some free time to go get drunk and mix with some wimmen folk down at the local ale house...

I'll leave a note on the door to let them know you have been granted a stay...

You may get up from your knees now and pour me another glass of wine...

*Hic*

Thankee, My Queen, thankee, very kindly.

Looks through various bottles

Would you like some Merlot, or...what's this...?

Strawberry Hill???.

Oh, that must be from Hiram's personal stash.

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Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

*complies with a resigned sigh and despondent demeanor*

*trudges half-heartedly behind dear Emma and casts a few sidelong glares towards Boo*

Don't look so scared Lady Moraine .. Boo has just opened another bottle of wine.. Here have a glass and relax..

Passes Moraine the wine ..

*sigh* It's great to have a little privacy and kick of my royal shoes for a change..

You know Moraine it's so tiring being Queen... Remember the days when we Ladies used to drink the wine cellar dry and stuff ourselves with cheesecake?

Aye....... I miss that..... and I miss Jack Sparrow.. I know he's a rogue but he sure makes my heart skip a beat... I'm supposed to be meeting him tonight for a secret rendevous but he hasn't showed yet.....* Sigh*

Another glass of wine Moraine ?

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And speaking of pirates, how about a nice little pirate sing-song?

Six days off the Cuban coast, a sail ahead they spied,

"Galleon of the treasure fleet!", the mizzen lookout cried.

"Closer to the wind, my boys!", the mad eyed captain roared.

"For every man who's alive tonight, will be hauling gold aboard!"

"Spare us!" The galleon begged, but mercy's face had fled.

Blood ran from the screaming souls, the scuppers flooded red. Driven to the quarter deck, the last survivor fell.

"She's ours, my boys," the captain said, "and no one left to tell!"

And wasn't that nice?

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Originally posted by YK2:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

*complies with a resigned sigh and despondent demeanor*

*trudges half-heartedly behind dear Emma and casts a few sidelong glares towards Boo*

Don't look so scared Lady Moraine .. Boo has just opened another bottle of wine.. Here have a glass and relax..

Passes Moraine the wine ..

*sigh* It's great to have a little privacy and kick of my royal shoes for a change..

You know Moraine it's so tiring being Queen... Remember the days when we Ladies used to drink the wine cellar dry and stuff ourselves with cheesecake?

Aye....... I miss that..... and I miss Jack Sparrow.. I know he's a rogue but he sure makes my heart skip a beat... I'm supposed to be meeting him tonight for a secret rendevous but he hasn't showed yet.....* Sigh*

Another glass of wine Moraine ? </font>

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Drops empty bottle of Merlot and guiltily shoves it under the couch where it clinks against three others...

BUUUUURP! 'Scuse me, M'Ladies...Lady...Her Majesty...MY Jamesty...

What would'je be wantin' was it?

Chis...Cherz...Cheese Cakes...?

Hokay. Your wishes are my demands...

Rips off shirt and trousers, striking a dramatic pose in his plaid boxers and white socks

...need mood lighting, thooooooooughhhh

Keels right over

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Errr...uhm...

M'Lady?

Are you suuure I can't berate just a *little*.

I mean...after all...well...

LOOK AT HIM!!!

We said cheesecake and he gives us beefcake.

Then he passes out on your very best Merlot!

And right in the middle of the floor, too.

I don't want to have to step over THAT to get to the loo!

*wrinkles pert nose in disdain*

Hmph!

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Rips off shirt and trousers, striking a dramatic pose in his plaid boxers and white socks

...need mood lighting, thooooooooughhhh

Keels right over

affectionately

That's my Boo! Don't be afraid to put the boot in and duff him up a bit while he's lying there. The contemplation of his bruises and cracked ribs is a wonderful philosophical exercise for him on the morning after, and keeps him humbly marveling at the recuperative powers of nature.

But list, all, and bend an ear. I have heard rumour of a great villainy afoot. It is for now nought but rumour, yet it fills me with darkest forebodings.

I speak of whisperings of a plot against our very own Queen, Fair Emma! My heart foretells that wicked business is in the offing! Remember, all: Defend the Queen!

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Cracks one gummy eye open and with a shakey index finger writes in the spilled wine, Seanachai, send a feckin' turn...

the arm goes limp, the eye slowly closes...

Ah! How precious. Some fools spend their gold on parrots or monkeys, when having Boo around so much more surely fills the same void.

I would send a turn, good Boo, but I have but just returned from drinking ale with two 30 year old blondes, one wearing leather pants, who I regaled with many a fine story.

I shall now go and pass out with a lovely smile upon my puckish features, there to dream of elfin maids dancing naked in dew circles.

Then I will probably arise and throw up, but you can't have everything, now can you?

Beware the Usurper that seizes back his own!

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Cracks one gummy eye open and with a shakey index finger writes in the spilled wine, Seanachai, send a feckin' turn...

the arm goes limp, the eye slowly closes...

Ah! How precious. Some fools spend their gold on parrots or monkeys, when having Boo around so much more surely fills the same void.

I would send a turn, good Boo, but I have but just returned from drinking ale with two 30 year old blondes, one wearing leather pants, who I regaled with many a fine story.

I shall now go and pass out with a lovely smile upon my puckish features, there to dream of elfin maids dancing naked in dew circles.

Then I will probably arise and throw up, but you can't have everything, now can you?

Beware the Usurper that seizes back his own! </font>

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Cracks one gummy eye open and with a shakey index finger writes in the spilled wine, Seanachai, send a feckin' turn...

the arm goes limp, the eye slowly closes...

Ah! How precious. Some fools spend their gold on parrots or monkeys, when having Boo around so much more surely fills the same void.

I would send a turn, good Boo, but I have but just returned from drinking ale with two 30 year old blondes, one wearing leather pants, who I regaled with many a fine story.

I shall now go and pass out with a lovely smile upon my puckish features, there to dream of elfin maids dancing naked in dew circles.

Then I will probably arise and throw up, but you can't have everything, now can you?

Beware the Usurper that seizes back his own! </font>

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

I would send a turn, good Boo, but I have but just returned from drinking ale with two 30 year old blondes, one wearing leather pants, who I regaled with many a fine story.

If you know single wimmins that you ain't introducing to me I must hate you.
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Lady Moraine how can you ask if Jack Sparrow is a man of honour? He's Capt of one of the greatest ships that ever sailed these parts... He may have stolen the ship from Barbossa but there is honour amongst thieves you know..

So yes... he is a man of honour, and his rougish good looks and manly stance make me go weak every time I look at him..

*Sigh* Surely you of all people can understand that?

Pours another glass of wine and passes Moraine the cheesecake

I'm pleased you like the dress Moraine.. you look so much more ladylike out of those horrible breeches you had on..

And don't worry about gaining a few extra pounds from the cheesecake, you can borrow one of my silk woven corserts..

Of course you'll have to suffer some pain and at times wont be able to breathe, but you'll find the pain worthwhile when you see how the corsets squeeze any extra pounds right up to where they look so much more pleasing to the eye..

I have dalem pull the ties as much as he can without me passing out.. Yes.. cheesecake Moraine .....

Looks over to the door to see Boo staggering in drunk with the cheesecake and more wine

Dear God man are you forgetting to whom you serve? I am your Queen and this is Lady Moraine how dare you drop your pants in front of us

Looks over to Moraine and smirks

Two glasses of wine and he's as drunk as a skunk.. just look at him lying there on the floor... Pathetic!!

Moraine put your breaches back on and give Boo a kick in the groin..

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Originally posted by YK2:

Lady Moraine how can you ask if Jack Sparrow is a man of honour? He's Capt of one of the greatest ships that ever sailed these parts... He may have stolen the ship from Barbossa but there is honour amongst thieves you know..

Barbossa stole the Pearl from HIM first.
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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Naytheless, rest assured that the full might and power of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread stands at the ready and on full alert for any HINT of danger to our Fair Queen Emma ... they'll have to come through ME first by Gawd ... no Seanachai NOT by YOU ... oh very well then, they'll have to come through ME first by Demi-Gawd.

My Queen, might it not be advisable for YOUR Knight Champion (ME, not to put too fine a point on it) to spend the night in your bed-chamber to assure your protection? I'll not sleep a wink else ... knowing that at any moment some base varlet, some abject coward, some slime snuck from beneath a vile, loathsome rock might invade your chamber and ... I don't know ... look in your lingerie drawer or something.

Joe

Hmmmmmm Another plot against me eh?

I wouldn't be surprised if this is Meek's doing... He's been very quiet of late.. which isn't good at all..

Yes Joe you can stand by the window in my bed-chamber tonight and keep watch while I sleep.. I already have dalem watching the door.. and the rest of my men should be back from the alehouse soon enough.. I just hope they are not too drunk to protect the Cesspool and myself from any attacks..

Oh and Joe .. Don't worry about my lingerie being pilfered, I had the locksmith add a little something to the drawers..

Swagger Like Capt Jack And Walk This Way Me Hearties....

disney-Climb-Aboard-if-you-Dare-Stories-from-the-Pirates-of-the-Caribbean.jpg

[ January 25, 2004, 06:45 AM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

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