Ted Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 I was browzing the web when I came across these guidelines. these are from a site of military humor http://www.taphilo.com/history/humor.shtml Some sure hit the nail on the head like "The easy way is always mined". I can relate to that one. Military Sayings and Guidelines: When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid. If the enemy is in range, so are you. The difficult we do immediately. The impossible takes a little while longer. - U.S. Navy Seabees It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. When in doubt empty the magazine. If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. "You, you, and you: Panic. The rest of you, come with me." Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. Incoming fire has the right of way. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. Tracers work both ways. Five second fuses only last three seconds. A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. — from the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance. Who *cares* if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet? The easy way is always mined. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. Push to test... Release to detonate. Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. When you're ready for them. 2. When you're not ready for them. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps. Friendly fire - isn't. Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. - Paul Rodriguez The side with the simplest uniforms wins. When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat. Mines are equal opportunity weapons. We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction. If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly! Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher - "Aim towards Enemy" It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to be worried about. It's the bullet addressed 'to whom it may concern. {Editor's note. In the book "Air War" by Edward Jabolonski, he tells of a B-17 pilot on a mission to Germany whose number did come up. Seems that a flak shell exploded and pieces of it went into his a/c cockpit on his side but it was a "spent" explosion so only the shell casing punched through the aluminum and fell onto the floor. He picked it up and printed on the shell fragment was the pilot's exact military identification number. He turned to his co-pilot and stated: "We better get the hell out of here since that shell had my number on it!". After the war he had it made into a plaque and has it on the wall of this home.} The diversion you are ignoring may be the main attack. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 In the film "Die Brücke", an officer asks a veteran NCO what he has learnt after all his years in the army. The answer being "nicht auffallen" [~"[to] not stand out"]. By serving the officer with such an answer, he stands out [in the Heer Anno 45 he does]. And sure enough, he is chosen for the tragic task at hand. And of course he dies, closing the circle of his own statement. Its a nice twist. Cheerio Dandelion 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alech Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 LOL! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Bolt Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Originally posted by Ted: Military Sayings and Guidelines: . . . Friendly fire - isn't. . . . A coworker of mine rode river boats in Vietnam. While listening on radio he heard another boat say "Receiving fire" The reply came back "That's friendly fire". The first boat said back, "Receiving friendly fire - returning same ". [ July 19, 2004, 07:43 AM: Message edited by: General Colt ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoSheds Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I did not say that France will not invade England, I only said they will not come by Sea - Admiral Horatio Nelson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spears Posted July 21, 2004 Share Posted July 21, 2004 "In war bullets dont kill you sun, its the organs failing due to it" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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