Jump to content

AP press statement: Camp Rambo to take break from SC, will return 8/16


jon_j_rambo

Recommended Posts

AP Boise (Idaho) --- On Sunday August 3, 2003, official press spokesperson for jon_j_rambo@yahoo.com declared Rambo is freezing all current games until a return date can be determined. Citing lack of interest & intensity following Championship battles Rambo has put both his Green Jacket & Green Beret on the rack. Superior officer Col. Troutman added,"I know Jonny is burned out, I ordered him to take some furlow. I've done three tours of SC-duty with him, PBEM, Ladder, & Z-League...these along with his role as Captain of Team-USA has just been too much, it's time for a 2-week break." The following games are on hold:

IronRanger

Puniworth

Archibald

CvM

HombrePlin

Paqman

PrivateJoe

Jonny is the undisputed US-Champ, a two-time World SC Champion, & currently ranked #3. His rise to fame with PBEM help drive World Wide competitive interest to Ladder. Responsible for the first Pay-Per-View events were Christmas Eve w/ Brian the Wise followed by a series with Swedish Strategist Zappsweden on New Year's Eve. Recent battles of Terif have shown some promise, but since the Championship run, things have gone into a tailspin.

In a rare personal interview, Rambo proclaimed,"I'm not the same guy playing in the middle of the night against the Euros. I need more sleep, hot food, time with the girl, & to hit the golf sticks. It's difficult for me to bring my A-game to the table when no preparation has been made. Setting an alarm, waking up at 2:00 a.m. I just can't be fresh against Zapp & Terif."

An unofficial date of Saturday, August 16 has been thrown out as a return date.

"I'd like to comeback the day the King died, sort of brighten that dark day of 1976. There will be all-day Elvis-Hollywood movies shown on AMC. I know not a better way to motivate myself, than to watch the King do what he does best, while I do what I do best." --- Rambo decision after eating some KFC.

"I know I have friends & foes out there. To friends: many thanks. To my foes: You drew 1st Blood" --- Rambo Articles of Faith, doctrine #6.

Upon the return, Rambo would like to set up either a Championship fight with Terif/Zappsweden or hold another Charity event. The Associated Press is in no way affliated with Camp Rambo, it is a news reporting wire service & is not held liable for statements printed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't believe a word of it.

This is typical disinformation put out before a 'black op'. Rambo has been called in to take out Saddamm. In the next few days watch out for news about Saddam being captured or "found dead, possibly killed by an explosive arrowhead or a large knife".

Following this news there will be ads placed in the media for: Rambo IV - Baghdad Bad Ass Coming To A Multiplex Near You This Christmas.

Mark my words...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This wild media speculation is getting out of hand. The poor famous SC stars gets stalked by paparazzis all day long, it´s the backside of SC-fame. People get burn out and fans are howling for more and more genious game-play.

I believe however that this so called "temporary retirement" by Rambo is just a scam. He is disappearing to practice new moves and masturbate in front of the screen to the sound of axis airfleets pounding russian corps. Rambo you wont fool us!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Using those handy commando tactics he's vanished from sight, going incognito and heavily disguised. By now he could be anywhere.

Located in Hudson's Bay !!

Could this be him? When complimented on his catch, the response was,

"My Catch -- you've got to be kidding. I mean, for a European this would be okay, but for me it's just bait. I'm going back out and using this little thing to rack a real fish!"

bfst61_Frechette.jpg

[ August 04, 2003, 04:15 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've figured it out! Kuniworth is really Rambo! Some might say it is coincidence that Rambo is going on vacation just as Kuniworth comes back from a 'fishing trip'. I say that it is just further evidence that Rambo = Kuniworth. No one ever saw Superman and Clark Kent together. Also, no one has ever seen Rambo (Superman) and Kuniworth (Clark Kent) together.

The conspiracy is revealed. The truth has come out! That wild American Rambo has disguised himself as a wild Swede to infilitrate the masses and find new secret moves.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bahh, are you hiding from me Jon? I kill a german HQ in the LC. Cut off an entire army group and get poland to survive 8 turns (bastards should have kept fighting, four units still on the board!). But France still falls in the summer of 1940 with heavy loss's to the BEF and you want to stop?

OK, since I play IP only on weekends this should work out but I came out of House Rule retirement and now I'll have to wait till you come back from R&R, bad timing I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by Oak:

I've figured it out! Kuniworth is really Rambo! Some might say it is coincidence that Rambo is going on vacation just as Kuniworth comes back from a 'fishing trip'. I say that it is just further evidence that Rambo = Kuniworth. No one ever saw Superman and Clark Kent together. Also, no one has ever seen Rambo (Superman) and Kuniworth (Clark Kent) together.

The conspiracy is revealed. The truth has come out! That wild American Rambo has disguised himself as a wild Swede to infilitrate the masses and find new secret moves.

Oh no, the identity-inquisition is back. Hm must be third time Im accused of being Rambo. I must underline clearly that I dont want to be connected to Idaho in anyway.

But guess what guys, I ran my friends IP-number program and you know what I found out;

Oak is really Gaylord Focker!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As originally posted by jon_j_rambo:

I'm not the same guy playing in the middle of the night against the Euros. I need more sleep, hot food, time with the girl, & to hit the golf sticks

Perfectly understandable. ;)

I am on a kind of... hiatus, as well.

***Hiatus = trying to get some simple, mundane things done... such as making a decent living or not forgetting! a family member's birthday... also, convincing the beautiful Sweetheart that you love her... MORE than SC!

The question, of course, being... how MUCH more?

No one wishes to seriously examine this issue, I am thinking, since this would create a kind of personal crisis, such as... how on earth could I love... a game... MORE than the person who... cleans the bathroom, top to bottom? And, best of all, without awful much complaint?

See, SC gets... INTO you.

It dictates where you are, and where you go and when and how you will... do what you wacka-do.

It is like a Creature-Thing in a Stephen King novel... no matter, an avaricious vampire, a slavering dog, a mutant disease, or a late 50s Plymouth named Christine

... that plays old rock & roll on the push-button radio... "Poetry in Motion" or "Johnny B Good" or "Are You Lonesome Tonight" (... and you likely ARE that latter, if you've been playing too much SC!)

Anyway, who can be "normal" once SC is... IN the veins?

It is like highly refined opium flowers doused with... extremely precious pheromones... extracted from an eternally youthful... Marilyn Monroe! smile.gif

(note: I presume, likely stupidly as per usual, that MOST of us are male... fact is, there are COUNTLESS females out there who STUDY this forum religiously, taking copious notes in a little locked book, with a lavender odor'd pen... IF they can figure out the wargamer Psyche, THEN... that footloose cat who hawks stocks or vacuum cleaners door-to-door, or over the Internet, well, hey, he's awful easy prey!)

It IS understandable that a man would take a week or so and get his... LIFE... re-arranged and somewhat organized, and... his Sanity soothed to such a degree that the neighbors and co-workers will... no longer shudder and GASP! when he... stumbles into view.

Which reminds me... I used to be sort of cordial friends with a Psychiatrist... since I started in on SC... NOW... whenever he sees me...he turns and RUNS the other way!

I laugh. :D

He is not part of the cognisceti. :cool:

He is... easy prey... for all those copious note taking SC women.

He is causing me no undue trouble, no indeed not.

I laugh and laugh, because you see... I am on... HIATUS.

Well, take 'er easy rambo, you've earned yer reprieve.

Hey! Is that?

An old hot-rod-radio, suddenly aflame? :eek:

Is that... The Stones?

"Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and fame...

... and! I have set aside my hot-lick SC guitar and... rubbed most of the rust & dirt... off my Idaho golfing sticks, and so... away I go!

It's all... perfectly understandable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hueristic Glad we agree on this, that is beyond any doubt our own J.J.Rambo terrorizing the Hudson Bay fish-ies and their Canadian friends !!

Oak That you don't know who Gaylord Fockker is must mean he likes you!

Kuniworth Oak's finally got your disguise figured out. Guess you didn't get enough fishing heh? The above photo speaks for itself, and the face matches a recent photo taken of the speaker at the Kuniworth Fan Club Convention. What is your mad and diabolocal scheme?

Immer Yes, that pins it down quite clearly !! A sort of F. Scott Fitzgerald fantasy existence. ;)

[ August 04, 2003, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bullwinkle

Joan of Arc is good. It's like the scene in Arsenic and Old Lace where the doctor pouts and says, "Oh my, another Teddy Roosevelt. It's a pity he isn't Napoleon. We're short on Napoleons."

I used to think multiple personality was a disorder (not to be confused with our friend of the same name) but now I think it's a blessing and the rest of us agree with him.

Oak

There's no reason on earth he shouldn't like you. And reason is a word that is rarely associated with that fellow.

Good luck in your quest for perfection. In my signature movie, Buckaroo Bonzai, one well dressed super heroic crime fighter is asked, by Buckaroo himself, to volunteer his jacket to cover a partially dressed damsel being rescued from a jail cell. He hesitates and says, "How come we're using my jacket?" Buckaroo looks at him as though the answer is obvious and says, "Cause you're -- Perfect." His sidekick grins with a blush and says, "Yeahhh." while handing it over. Okay, I know it isn't much of a story but the subject of perfection almost never comes up in this place. smile.gif

[ August 05, 2003, 02:23 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...