Guest Zulu1 Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU (European Union) rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro English." In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one fewer karakter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f." This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more-komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they should go away. By the 4th year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v." During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TargetDrone Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 I vil be glad to partisipat in this lingual revolution! But ze problem of ze proper kapitalisation shuld also be adresed! ------------------------------------------ TargetDrone vho has a heart for smilies and wil figt for zeir rights... [This message has been edited by TargetDrone (edited 06-07-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackhorse Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Zulu1: After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mein Fuhrer, I can Valk! Good one Zulu. That is hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killmore Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 Please just do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted June 7, 2000 Share Posted June 7, 2000 That has been posted before just like the Army jokes thread, but it's still pretty funny how it ends up there at the end. ------------------ "The greatest risk...is not taking one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 You guys are nuts!!! sorry, nutz!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Formerly Babra Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 What a silly bunt. ------------------ When I die I want to go peacefully, like my grandfather, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dschugaschwili Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Zulu1: The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU (European Union) rather than German, which was the other possibility. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why on earth did they even consider German a serious possibility? Don't get me wrong, I'm a native German speaker, but German is so difficult and full of exceptions that I don't think I would want to learn this language. Just my 2 cents. Dschugaschwili Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zamo Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 Back when the United States was being created, the founding fathers voted on what our national language would be. English won over German by one vote!!! Funny, Dschugaschwili, I've always heard English is a hard second language to learn... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sabot Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 Wasn't it Prince Charles that said "Bad English is the universal language"? ------------------ "I do like to see the arms and legs fly" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stodge Posted June 8, 2000 Share Posted June 8, 2000 People who speak English as a second language probably speak "better (more correct?) English" than the English do! If you know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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