Steve Clark Posted October 12, 2000 Share Posted October 12, 2000 Speaking of hamsters, this is a story that apparently appeared in the LA Times... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Two Homosexual males were admitted to the burns unit of a LA hospital after one of thier encounters went horribly wrong. The first man had inserted a cardboard tube into the others rectum, and then sent his pet hamster down the tube. When his friend had had enough the first man couldn't retrieve the animal. He then decided to light a match to entice the creature out. This ignited a pocket of gas which then set fire to the first mans hair and moustashe. It also set fire to the rodent which jumped further up. The flaming fur ball then ignited a second, larger pocket of gas further up the mans intestine, causing third degree burns and propelling the hamster out "like a cannon ball."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Maybe I'll get my name added to the locked thread list? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted October 13, 2000 Author Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steve Clark: Speaking of hamsters, I'm a total moron. Can you believe how stupid I am to first, believe a well known urban legend, try to pass it off as a recent news piece and also think that it is in any way funny. Hi mom, I'm stupid. Yes, that's right, your son, who you nurtured in your womb, who you swaddled and adored, is a total and absolute dumbass. I have been trying to tell you how much but, unfortuneately I am so stupid that I do not know the words to express how stupid I truly am. One day scientists will unearth the BTS forums and see my contributions and they will think I am a subspecies of human, homo sapiens moronicus. Theories and counter-theories will abound about how entire societies of me lived along side the normal humans and, while they did useful, beautiful and intelligent things, we would run into walls and watch Roseanne. My only hope is that someone comes along and gives me the words to express how stupid I truly am.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Don't worry little Stevo, somebody did. ------------------ Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Clark Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 Ooooooh, that was soooo mean. Sheesh, what a moron. Maybe the truth about hamsters is so hard to take? http://baywindows.com/gerbil.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 Remember the saying "He who smelt it, dealt it"?? Lets stop and apply that logic to homosexuality, Mr. Clark. Your tuche-pushing-ways are evident. Its okay to be different. I understand. Here's a tissue. ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 From the article in the drooling MrClark's post "proving" that gerbiling is true: "A check with the National Library of Medicine and emergency rooms at several urban hospitals revealed no evidence (emphasis added for twits who need emphasis) that the practice takes place at all. Nevertheless, stories about gay male gerbilling are told again and again. MrClark take your gay-baiting bull somewhere else. I know a great place you can put it. Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted October 13, 2000 Author Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steve Clark: Look mom, I've learned how to support other people's assertions that I'm an idiot:http://baywindows.com/gerbil.asp <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Enough about you, back to someone important: Croda you wandering monstrosity! You're unwanted in that thread and your untolerated in this thread. Sit down and post with some regard to honor you schmuck! As to the rest of you bastards, I don't see any of you sticking to your guns you buncha sissies! Lemme ask ya something, if someone flouts your little blood hamster and your cutesie jihad, whatcha gonna do? You gonna write a formal complaint to Peng the senile? Maybe hope that Seanachai gets over his sudden case of the Scared Stupids and starts posting something, eh? Can't you automatons think for yourselves??? Now get over here Croda, where you belong. I brought you into the Pool, and I can sure as hell take you right out. ------------------ Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted October 13, 2000 Author Share Posted October 13, 2000 And Roborat, what's this I hear about you thinking you have the right to stop being my squire? You're not allowed to think. Until Andreas writes some kind of Peng Magna Carta, which would necessitate his learning to write, you have no right to think. If I want your opinion, I will spend three seconds of my time writing it and 40 turns of CM giving it to you. If you feel otherwise then I give you one chance at emancipation: Meeting Engagement, 200% Handicap for you. You win, I renounce my ownership of your immortal soul. I win and you're doing the metaphorical Hamster bootlick until you gain a Sir in front of your name. The rest of your Pengers, show some cajones for god's sake, every time I read that damn Peng Thread I can feel seconds of my life tick away in a state of all-encompassing boredom. I spit on your collective efforts to be more than lichen. ------------------ Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Clark Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 You morons take yourselves soooo seriously here in the Cesspool. Where did you think I got the quote and the link? From www.snopes.com. Guess all this talk about hamsters is too superficial. Can dish it but can't take it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steve Clark: You morons take yourselves soooo seriously here in the Cesspool. Where did you think I got the quote and the link? From www.snopes.com. Guess all this talk about hamsters is too superficial. Can dish it but can't take it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, Steve. I can take it. What do you have to give? Witticisms? Barbs? Pithy sayings? Will you bless us with yet another link that you discovered? I'm waiting. ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berlichtengin - Oh, he'll probably choose the Peng Thread but his heart will tell him that you cannot perform pure evil in Munchkinland. After the house falls on him, he'll come over here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I will choose neither. A joust is called for. You, Sir Geeks, must best Sir Senilelosttopeng on the field of honor. That field has been sent to Lorak (Marshal of the Pool). Other Knights will step forward to declare the weapons you will use and the conditions you will use them under. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted October 13, 2000 Author Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Raspy breathing and evil things said in James Earl Jones voice<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're more machine now than man, Berli, twisted and evil. I will face Seanachai and I will crush him! ------------------ Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutbolHead Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 The cesspool has split into to two factions. Geez, what is the world coming to when even the scum of the earth can't meld. I'm sure if Rodney King were here he would say "Can't we all just eviscerate each other in unity?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 A yes, the map is/was in my hands. Since I believe Mark IV is still without CM. I have winged the file over to Germanboy. Lorak ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 Excellent! Blood will be spilt to settle this on the field of honor! And what is at stake here, you pack of scurrilous yipping dogs? The future home of the OneAndOnlyRebuiltMutherBeautifulThread? Surely not merely the honor of the combatants - what paltry fare that would be! Having PBEM'd the scoundrel Meeks, and found him to be madder than a weasel in a hamster shop, I will be looking for a good showing from this maligned Kannigget. When the Olde Peng Thread went belly up, who stepped forth and hastily dug a new gutter for us to play in? Are memories so short that we forget who flayed lost and transient posters to the Older Peng Thread, until the flesh peeled from their chipped and rutted ribs? There is honor in this fetid, slippery rut that Meeks has dug for himself. He better be up to the task of defending it! OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 ha! as we speak I am ripping his guts out in our QB game. there will be nothing left for senility to play with. this thread will die like all heresy dies - in an iron coffin with spikes on the inside. this post has been edited for content and to fit this screen. many many smilies were harmed in the making of this post. mostly for no good reason other than to cause the rotten little bastards pain. and humiliation [This message has been edited by MrPeng (edited 10-13-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted October 13, 2000 Author Share Posted October 13, 2000 Seanachai, I await the start of the final battle. If you defeat me, then I shall be loyal to the all and I shall do anything you and your rabble desires. I never found you interesting, merely possessing of a particular quality, that of longwindedness. Yess, I took advantage of the split. Yes I dug a pit out by the dogs and declared it was the Cesspool. And, finally, yes none followed me but the toothless man-child Hiram. This does not make you right or proper, no, it merely means your little men are too scared, too stuffed full of red hots and marshmallows, too complacent and comfortable in their Peng Thread. I welcome combat, the flames will purify this ugly war. ------------------ Barad-Dur, the Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding its time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hamsters: I want nothing to do with your incestuous Brotherhood and I renounce it myself! Gone, Chup, gone are the days of the Illuminati and the self-serving Elders!!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Schism cannot be tolerated. Like the Templars, we must remain united in our sybaritic but militant order. If Meeks and the other apostates renounce their heresy, repent their posting in proscribed threads, and return to the fold, they shall be once again welcomed among us. I, as a master of our Order, stand ready to engage in holy combat, so that wrong might fail and right prevail. Meeks! For your sister's sake, whose email to you quite amused me, I call upon you to repent, make confession to me, and continue your insane giggling in 'Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public', the One True and Catholic Thread, protected and served by that order militant, the Knights of the Cesspool. While we have long known that you sought to rise to Grand Master of the Order, we never thought you would use schism as your road to power. Renounce your apostasy, submit once more to a good, orthodox bricking, and desist in your efforts to lead your juniors into error and factionalism. If you do not acknowledge your error and return to us, I've got a large container of Inquisition to open up and pour over you like a bitter syrup. Seanachai "Torquemada" Lost-To-Peng Master of the Order of the Knights of the Cesspool ------------------ After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak: A yes, the map is/was in my hands. Since I believe Mark IV is still without CM. I have winged the file over to Germanboy. Lorak <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I shall deal with it tonight, after saving the world from the impending climate change desaster. ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 Actually, I care not which thread is used, I just don't want to have to go through two of them. Meeks, I'm glad you accepted the challenge of the joust. Have you seen the screen shot of the map? Turn the river red, sir. Red with artificial coloring No. 2 ... nay, BLOOD of valiant and not-so-valiant troops. Litter the board with smoking and flaming ruins. Heap shame upon your enemy and yourself. Bash him with the brick he's so fond of using. One of you will come out on top and lay claim to the new Peng thread. It's all or nothing. Ask no quarter, give none. A penny saved is a .... ooops wrong genre of cliche. I'd better stop right here. And, in the name of unity and fairness, I shall cut and paste this to the "other" thread and change the names where applicable. ------------------ "Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" — Oddball "Crap." — Moriarty [This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 10-13-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Big Time Software Posted October 13, 2000 Share Posted October 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Actually, I care not which thread is used, I just don't want to have to go through two of them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Couldn't have said it better myself. I was waiting to see if one would die off, but that didn't happen. So I must now put on my exocutioner's hood and put the axe to this thread Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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