Guest Germanboy Posted February 15, 2000 Share Posted February 15, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by maxm2: CM42: SIM CM<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LOL Maxm2 No need to pay for a game though, just join the German army and they even pay you to do this. ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SySShockeD Posted February 16, 2000 Share Posted February 16, 2000 CM 43 - The attack on BTS Featuring an attack on BTS when Charles and Steve reported that the game was finished and ready for shipping but the post office was burned down. Charles and Steve defend themselves by shooting the attackers (everyone) with copies of CM. Reinforcements consist of Madmatt and Fionn. Wouter [This message has been edited by SySShockeD (edited 02-16-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 17, 2000 Share Posted February 17, 2000 Hmm, Ash just reminded me of that... CM101 - SS Panzer Armies of Darkness Two platoons of Heavy Sub-Chainsaw Squads with armored support from a souped up 76 Ford Mustang have to hold out against a plethora of crappily designed GI skeletons while waiting for Hauptscharmagicführer Asche to finish reading the spell instructions from DV26/A/II - Ausf. 'B' 3-9-1 'Time Transport of significant assets by means of etheral powers zbV'. Because of supply shortages of etheral power due to allied Druid superiority, heavy losses are incurred before Asche makes it back to the Wolfs-Lair through a rift in the space-time framework. ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s bakker Posted February 17, 2000 Share Posted February 17, 2000 CM 44: beyond bored Players simulate being bored on a board; posting nearly-topic threads while playing a demo to shreds and having dreams about a near perfect game which will be released 'when it's done'. They risk their own sanity by telling the developers to take their time to finish the product while their souls cry out everytime they see new PTOD's of the full game; knowing that some lucky punks have been testing the full beta for months. Being patient and having no life worth mentioning are required to be able to play the game. ....... sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxm2 Posted February 17, 2000 Share Posted February 17, 2000 CM2000: 1st person shooter: You are one of the CM faithful who arrives in NYC for the CM Convention (CMCON, of course) which has miraculously been pulled together by incredibly bored gamers mentioned in the previous post. You arrive to find CMCON abuzz with rumors that the finished game will be distributed to all who pre-ordered--at the convention! By questioning dozens of NPC's (non-player characters), you get hints as to which booth the Gold version is being distributed at. To get to the booth, you must: 1. Go through a lengthy, khaki-colored maze with no mapping function available; 2. Solve a puzzle involving unlocking twenty-two different changing multicolor locks in precise sequence (you did ask the NPCs for keys, didn't you? No? Oops, quit and reload!); 3. Going backstage and jumping from one balcony to another (there are only a few of these, but your timing has to be perfect...you notice Lara Croft repeatedly failing most of the jumps as you wait for your turn); 4. Giving the password to the BTS representative at the booth (you did ask the NPCs about the password, didn't you? No? Heh-heh! Reload!) Okay, you're saying, this sounds like a role-playing game, not a first person shooter as previously mentioned. Aha! When you give the password to the BTS rep, he gives you a partially completed map to "find the magic StuG" and a crowbar (oh-oh). You leave the booth, and notice that everyone else has a map and a crowbar, except for a few dozen CMCONers who seem to have found a pistol, and one guy who is setting up what appears to be a chain gun at one end of the hall. All of a sudden the instructions about taking guns and ammo of off dead bodies or finding them in special booths (you did ask the NPCs about "special booths," didn't you?) make sense. You chuckle to yourself as you heft your crowbar and your eyes roll back in your head...finally some relief.......! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wesy Posted February 18, 2000 Share Posted February 18, 2000 How about this one CM Fargo. Oh yah did you see that one? Oh yah you betcha. Oh Margie do you think that platoon's dead? Your leader is Jerry (no pun intended) Lundergaard and the mission is to capture two dysfunctional sociopaths with a mid 80's intermediate GM Car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxm2 Posted February 18, 2000 Share Posted February 18, 2000 CM Fargo: Oh yah you betcha, I like that one. Sure would make a good CM variant, you got that right. Course, it would have to have the little guy in it--the funny-looking one. You know, the one who's just...you know, funny-looking! The uncircumcised one with the unusually poor judgement about partners in crime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted February 18, 2000 Share Posted February 18, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by maxm2: CM Fargo:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're darn tootin' ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Posted February 18, 2000 Share Posted February 18, 2000 Of course CM is going to be a white phosphorus simulator. This version is of course extensivly tweaked to include such things as translucent smoke, drifting smoke and low level smoke. All the smoke is different and can easily be placed by full squads despite the number of dead bodies lying around (Full squads and dead bodies and infantry smoke will probably not be modeled due to the high sys. reqs. translucency and other effects). Quite simply it will redefine the genre of other useless simulators. If you like this you should look for SimHolepunch for the Mac. It's really great fun! ------------------ Visit my webpage! http://cm4mac.tripod.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Captain Foobar Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 "And the latest game to hit the shelves, SIM SANDWICH" One of my favorite Simpsons moments... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxm2 Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 Given that software packages like Barbie Nail Designer (I kid you not) are hot sellers, how about BTS going for the big bucks and coming out with: BARBIE'S COMBAT MAKEOVER MISSION! You prepare Barbie for a night mission at malls in enemy-held cities, including Iraq, Iran, and Serbia. You choose her camo pattern, weapons, and fake credit cards. Better be careful, since Barbie will be "inserted" near the enemy mall and has to find and buy a complete outfit with matching accessories and make it back to the extraction point without being caught and tortured to death...or, worse, being forced to go without makeup for over 24 hours. Barbie's friends Ken and Skipper, after an intense 20-minute training course, are piloting the Blackhawk which lands at the extraction LZ---so expect a challenging escape. But as Ken says: "Gee Barbie, it isn't that much different to drive than my Porsche! Want to hold the collective?" And as Skipper says: "Sh*t, I think I broke a nail..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ol' Blood & Guts Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 How 'bout this one? CM:NASA Goes to War! An all-out war breaks out in the process of trying to complete the ISS (International Space Station) by its scheduled date of 2003. Since Russia continued funding the nearly defunct MIR space station and not providing the funds and resources for certain necessary modules, the whole Multi-National conglomerate that is providing modules finally breaks down and declares war on Russia. Units will consist of new secret weapons like anti-matter cannons and pulse rifles. One infantryman will be able to, literally, take out an entire command post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxm2 Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 OB&G suggested: CM:NASA Goes to War! Funny! I like it! But c'mon, let's be realistic here. No one's going to have fancy ordinance like that given the US & Russian weapons' budgets (not to mention technical know-how...if the DOD can't hit a missle whose track they know perfectly.......) So how about good old rifles as you command three squads sent up to eject the Russians from their unfinished modules which they've been promising to complete for two years and which are as unsightly as MIR. The exciting part is the maneuver, since as soon as someone fires a weapon the bullet probably pierces a wall and everyone is sucking vacuum within seconds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurtz Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 And the recoil will make the soldier who fired the weapon slowly drift away in the opposite direction. At least that´ll take care of the "missing dead bodies problem" In the subsequent court martial the recoil will plead "not guilty" saying "I was only following Newton´s third law". But I´ll miss the sounds...In space no one can hear you scream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fionn Posted February 19, 2000 Share Posted February 19, 2000 That's what God invented comm channels for See, science IS good for something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango Posted February 20, 2000 Share Posted February 20, 2000 CM44: Hiroshima. (You only need protection glasses) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 funny what u see when u look at a random old thread ------------------ russellmz, Self-Proclaimed Keeper for Life of the Sacred Unofficial FAQ. "They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush "They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Combat College- Beyond Food Poisoning Opponents will compete for the best food (ok, the least worst food) at the cafeteria, smuggle beer past the gaurds, and battle over rides to walmart. Penetration of rap music through cinderblock walls is realistically modeled. Thank god the guys next door haven't discovered tungsten speakers, as the blast effect is bad enough already. ------------------ Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. The Last Defense- Mods, Scenarios, and more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt Eagle Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 The two of all of these postings that I'd like to see are: CM24: The Great Escape CM: Nasa Goes to War and, my own... CM59: Stalag 13 Command each of the Heroes and operate your clandestine operation as Col Hogan or discover Hogan's secret with the Schultz and the goons as Colonel Klink. ------------------ "Nuts!" -Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe [This message has been edited by Sgt Eagle (edited 03-03-2001).] [This message has been edited by Sgt Eagle (edited 03-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 CM2001; The Battle in Seattle Your squads, supported by water cannon trucks, must use pepper-spray, flash-bang grenades, and batons to disrupt and disperse unruly gangs of anarchists equipped with bricks and liquor bottles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Wow Russell, thanks for knocking this one up to the top. A true classic. =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mirage2k Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Combat College- Beyond Food Poisoning Opponents will compete for the best food (ok, the least worst food) at the cafeteria, smuggle beer past the gaurds, and battle over rides to walmart. Penetration of rap music through cinderblock walls is realistically modeled. Thank god the guys next door haven't discovered tungsten speakers, as the blast effect is bad enough already. The tutorial scenario (a.k.a. the rediculously easy one) would be Cornell University. Yum Yum. (Go Red!) Andrew ------------------ "No, it's not that kind of relationship. We're just friends. We are together all the time, but I never touch her porcelain skin, her soft, red lips, like rose petals from the emperor's bathwater! Bathwater, I tell you, bathwateeeeeeer!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanks a Lot Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Combat Mission: Beyond Overweight Use your troops to fight the fat. Have your tanks smash the cellulite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Mirage, I'm starting to drool on the keyboard. Tell me about this fantasy world, where the salad is green and worm-free and you don't need a knife to eat a bagel. I did apply for Cornell, though. It's just as good that I got rejected, becuase I'd have to go fishing for eight years to pay for four years of college. Does Cornell throw you out of the dorms for spring break? I'm hiding out in here, becuase I was supposed to have left yesterday. No lights, can't leave my room, and I've only got enough food for three more days. Thank god I've got CM and this forum for entertainment. ------------------ Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. The Last Defense- Mods, Scenarios, and more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted March 4, 2001 Share Posted March 4, 2001 Originally posted by Mirage2k: The tutorial scenario (a.k.a. the rediculously easy one) would be Cornell University. Yum Yum. (Go Red!) Andrew all right a fellow cornell guy! Does Cornell throw you out of the dorms for spring break? I'm hiding out in here, becuase I was supposed to have left yesterday. No lights, can't leave my room, and I've only got enough food for three more days. Thank god I've got CM and this forum for entertainment. u have to have an RA sign you out...they lock the doors and charge you about $200 for every hour you overstay, so no hiding. the food is decent(soggy veggies the biggest complaint) lots of variety though. cash-op places (sandwiches, fried foods etc.), all u can eat dining halls, can only carry one piece of fruit out(but just sneak a couple more outta your bag) no break until march 16... ------------------ russellmz, Self-Proclaimed Keeper for Life of the Sacred Unofficial FAQ. "They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush "They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show [This message has been edited by russellmz (edited 03-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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