Aces_and_8's

Collected? What, did he run the seized property room of the Bureau of F, T & A? That list had more firearms than the Canadian Army. </font>

RGRGHAHAHGRHRHAHGRH Inside jokes,when your not inside,suck :mad: :mad: </font>

Ask her to play "Streets Without Joy", she'll know the one. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

And in less than five minutes, Boo comes out (not that there;s anything wrong with that) with the obligatory penis joke. Your parents must be proud. Steve </font>

*Thinks*...Nope. NEXT!!!

Surreal conversations, government contractors, and your tax dollars at work: Me: Hey first sergeant, give a call to base and see what they can do about fixin the heat. 1stSgt: Roger sir, give me a couple of minutes 1stSgt: * On the phone*...Hey this is Bravo Fourth over at Flair, we need someone to come fix the heat...nope, not working at all. Uh, huh. Roger, we'll see ya then. 1stSgt: Said they would be here in a few minutes, sir Me: Okey doke, thanks ---Two hours later--- 1stSgt: Where the hell have you guys been? Contractor: Eh, we just got the call, whats the problem? 1stSgt: Heats AFU Contractor: Whadya mean AFU 1stSgt: It ain't workin Contractor: Ok...we'll go take a look ----45 Minutes later---- Contractor: Ok sir, we're done Me: You are? Contractor: Yep Me: Let me check...I dont feel anything coming out Contractor: Huh? Me: I dont feel anything coming out of the register Contractor: Whaddya mean, I can hear it coming out? Me:Hear what? Contractor: The air...I can hear the air from over hear Me:Air? Contractor:Yes. Me:Air I got, I called you over to fix the heat. Contractor:What? Me:We called you over to fix the heat, not the air. Contractor:Oh Me:What oh... Contractor:Well sir, we only fix the air Me:Whaddya mean you only fix the air Contractor:We only fix the air Me:But the air wasn't broke Contractor: Yeah, it works great Me:Exactly Contractor:Then why did you call about the air? Me:I didn't, I called to get the heat fixed Contractor:Well that's not us, thats the other guys Me:Figured that, what do I need to do? Contractor:Oh thats easy, call base and ask for the repair team GRRRRRRRR!!!

1 x carrot, unfired? </font>

1 x carrot, unfired? </font>

rune old friend, where have you been? I've missed ya...not really, just dispensing with nicities. Now, I could throw out something such as... At least our natural state of being is not on our stomachs like that of the Navy ...but that would seem base and reactionary, no matter how true.

1 x Armalite AR18 1x Colt AR15 3x SKS 3x Mossberg 500A 12 gauge shotguns 1xWinchester .20 gauge auto 1x Custom 30-06 rifle w/scope rebored from mauser 2 x Beretta 92FS 1 x S&W Sigma 9mm 1 x S&W Sigma .40 1 x Ruger .44 Magnum Blackhawk Stainless 1 x Walther PPKS .380 1 x Colt Python .357 1 x Colt Trooper II .357 1 x Colt Cobra .38 1 x 2nd Generation .45 Colt SAA 1 x Ruger Mk II BBL .22 3 x M1 Carbine (2 WW2 vintage, 1 commercial) 1 Colt SAA Sesquincentennial .45 SAA unfired 1 Colt .45 SAA "Sherrif's Model" unfired (with extra cylinder for .44-40) 1 Colt Presentation Cased .44 Walker unfired 1 Wilkerson-Terry 9mm 1 Remington 870 12 gauge . . . this is about half of what I have. Shall I go on or is this enough? Starting to get arthritis typing all this. =( Kitty </font>

She's a trooper, even completed her shift. Not sure if that's because she's innit for the money or to be away from me. Me...only my pride was hurt. Probably did more damage to the concrete than to myself. Boo lives a couple of states away, but we both reside in that wonderous geographical feature known as the Ohio Valley. Everything coming off the plains gets swept North and East, normally tapping the Great Lakes and Atlantic for some extra UMPHF! Cant wait to move, only 90 days and its adios Maryland.

This crap is out of hand and getting more ridiculous with each passing front: Fades to bad memories of yesterday - While walking into the office and lecturing one of the Marines about being careful, stepped on a patch of black ice both feet went straight up in the air and I landed flat on my back. Lost a whole heap of cool points, but gained some back by saving my coffee. - The wife had to be rushed to the ER (she works at the same ER and was on her way in for her shift at the time) after she not only slipped cracking her wrist, but in an attempt to get up slipped again, landed on the hood of her car, and dented it. At least the car broke her fall. There wasnt a whole lot of joy in Mudville yesterday...

NOO<font size=+1>OOO</font><font size=+3>OOO</font><font size=+5>OOO!!!</font> Not another ice storm...*sobs*...I cant take it anymore, the crap from the last one hasnt even melted fully yet. Maybe I'll move somewhere warmer like... Buenos Aires...MUWAHAHAHAHAH!

ditto *shivers*...btw I got a brand spankin new wireless keyboard. I can now sit across the room in front of the fireplace with my bathrobe on and type, surf the web, etc to my little hearts content. Course, I cant see what the hell I'm doing, but just having the ability is strangly satisfying. BTW Mace what do you know of metallizers and reasons for them going awry?

<font size=+2GRARGRARRGRARRRGRARGRARGRARRR!!! </font> :mad: Ya know, this is exactly the reason why history is never written by the losers, they would only get it wrong While the minefields are admittadly dastardly, you have no one but yourself to blame for violating Murphy's 3rd Law of Combat: The easy way is always mined. That and a vodka induced stupor suffered by the poor little brown clad lads. I would petition the commissarat for an immediate execution of the individual responsible for forgetting the rollers. :mad: Here is how things are actually going. After I made his silly little partisans waltz to the tune of some deadly accurate 2 cm and MG fire (so many blue clad bodies laying about), Mike attempted to tiptoe up the route his KVs are currently immobilized *snickers* on with a couple of trucks towing guns. Ordered some steel rain, super sized that order, and stopped em cold. Now there's nothing but smoking trucks, smoking guns, and little smoking bodies. :mad: His next thrust (again, he should be a performer for the Bolshoi with tutu and little shoes the way he prances about) also stuck. Two guns abandoned and the rest of everything crammed up that road, fixin to take care of that little problem soon. My gunners in the half-tracks are having a fine time gunning down his little twits screaming " Dance ya little bitches, dance...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" (all in German of course)as they stick there heads out the woods then twitch like little meat marionettes. :mad: Yes, yes, he did have a couple of shining moments, the truck which is still smoking, a couple of Kubelwagens and the one tank. :mad: There's plenty more from where those came from...He's not even close enough yet to begin SERIOUS MOLTEN TNT CHUCKIN' but I am guessing one of these days he will actually make a concerted push. And now you know...the rest of the storey. :mad:

Some things in life are bad, They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing your life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle, And this'll help things turn out for the best, Always look on the bright side of life. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the light side of life. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten, And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing. When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps. Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing. And, always look on the bright side of life. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the right side of life, dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop For life is quite absurd And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin. Give the audience a grin. Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow. So, always look on the bright side of death, dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Just before you draw your terminal breath. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Life's a piece of ****, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true. You'll see it's all a show. Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And, always look on the bright side of life. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the right side of life. dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop Always look on the bright side of life! dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop I mean, what do you have to lose You come from nothing You go back to nothing What have you lost, nothing] Always look on the bright side of life! ...dee doop...dee doop...dee doop, dee doop, dee doop :mad:

Wow, so very quiet in here, it must be... <font size=+5>Monday</font> *sound of crickets in the background*

Nice. Now Joe's going to go all postal again. Steve </font>

MA<font size=+1>AA</font><font size=+2>AG</font><font size=+3>GG</font><font size=+4>GG</font><font size=+5>GOOOTTTSSSSS!!!!</font> :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Wait, wait, wait...I got one too... So, this pirate walks into a bar...OW!

*Accidentally kicks Aces in the face* Oops! Sorry, that tickled. =) Do you want this back? *holds out severed end of Aces tongue* Kitty </font>

My dear lady, my hair style is by choice </font>

My dear lady, my hair style is by choice and not by that fickel mistress known as genetics. While the difference may escape some of the slower witted about this place, I am sure your most esteemed self already understands this point, and I am simply preaching to the choir. Besides, it doesnt take long to dry after a shower and some members of the opposite sex do indeed... dig it. . While our own dear Mace claims to have tresses of Cher quality, I do not think it really counts when said ringlets are reconstructed from the tufts found on a Eucalyptus after a Koala molts then glued strategically about a bald pate.

I hear they have adhesive nowadays to keep those annoying toupees in place...Perhaps an investment on your part might be in order?

Excerpts from the log of Her Majesty's Bireme (formerly Trireme) Terribilius Est Rex: 1630 The mystery has been solved. The gentleman on the quay was intimating that the starboard oars had yet to be loaded. As I watch the point pass for the third time to the port, I cant help but think, Lucius will have to be fired as first mate. There are rumblings of discontent below decks as the port side continues to pull through and the starboard plays dominoes. To think that its come to this, no sails, one bank of oars to port, and that idiot Quintus plotting tighter and tighter circles on the back of his hand. Watching him leap up and down repeatedly, so as to peer over the gunwales just to get his bearings, is really annoying. At least the Assyrians are behaving. Gawd save the Queen! 1730 Langsdorff had a way out, why not me? Its bad enough turning circles for the last 2 hours, but to be towed back to port by Pete and Bernice Fowler's glass bottomed paddle boat is the height of embarrasing. Receiving Commodore Berli's carrier Sturgeon calling off the pursuit, followed shortly by the carrier Blow Fish authenticating the orders, in no way lessens the feelings of extreme disappointment I am currently experiencing. We hope to reach port within the next day or so. This of course is predicated upon Pete's heart continuing to function and Bernice's supply of Depends lasting. I think I shall have the Rex broken up and sold as toothpicks to the local crab houses. Recouping some of the expenditures for this voyage should shine a brighter light on an otherwise dismal display, and hopefully hold the Queen's comptroller and investigators at bay for a while. That, or I'll just blame Seanachai. I wonder if the Assyrians will loan me one of their bows and a single arrow? Log Closed this 9th Day in the year of the Monkey by Aces_and_8's Captain and Master of Her Majesty's Bireme (formally Trireme) Terribilius Est Rex