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Papa Khann

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Posts posted by Papa Khann

  1. Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    In other words, you're too wimpy to deal with things that might put up a fight.

    Dear MrAmbulanceChaser,

    And that would be an excellent reason for you to send me a setup.

    Much as I'm sure it soils my reputation as a gentleman, I am forced to admit that I enjoy a good tossing of a lamer under the treads of the nearest AFV. Especially if I get to swat them about a bit while listening to them whimper. No doubt this can be attributed to some aspect of my inner child that yearns to express it's felinity.

    Something in Italy or Crete should do nicely. The desert air parches our throat and drys our skin. Also I don't want to burden myself with working up a sweat under a hot sun while putting you to the sword.

    Papa

  2. Originally posted by dalem:

    I feel the call of my muse again.

    That either means I need to duck into the loo or I will be versifying again later tonight.

    You aren't allowed to versify on election night!

    If that rule isn't already in the official Election Night Rules, then the rules are buggered and I hereby proclaim a new rule. Namely, no versifying for dalem on election night.

    (Give me a few hours and I'll come up with another rule for why dalem is not allowed to versify on the day after election night. Or the night after election night. Or ever again. Take your pick.)

    Papa

  3. Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    Only in Minnesota would "bestiality" include sex with a dead body.

    Dear MrAmbulanceChaser,

    Apparently in the southern states, your average degenerate is a bit less discriminating than their northern comp<big>L</big>ement<big>AR</big>ie<big>S</big>. I've no doubt your hillbilly kin are equally happy to excise their infernal demons upon the local fauna regardless of whether the victim is alive and kicking, or deceased.

    Here in the northland, our degenerates are more discerning.

    Papa

  4. Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

    *sheesh!*

    Can't you guys teach the newbies properly?

    No offense, Lady Sedai, but have you taken a good look at what they have handed us as newbies lately? ... I thought not. Go ahead then, take a closer look. (Watch where you step though.)

    Now I ask you, who on God's green earth could manage anything of note with these tossers? Why, I'd wager that my cat could cough up something more suited to bettering itself than this lot.

    Papa

  5. Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    dalem, are you guys gonna make the poor gnome take Italy again?

    Steve

    Dear MrAmbulanceChaser,

    Idjit. In order for Seanachai to "take" anything in the game, we would have to trust him with troops. After having experienced his dice rolling abilities firsthand, I do not anticipate the opportunity being granted to him.

    A more likely scenario is that the little wanker will be forced to emulate the landmass of Poland. And I will be a Stuka dive-bomber.

    Papa

  6. Originally posted by Boo Radley:

    ...It's what keeps us warm at night and kicks us out of bed in the morning, screaming at us that it's our own damn fault for going out and drinking all night long and if we don't get dressed and get to work, the repo men will be coming for the Kia Sophia AGAIN

    Nonsense, Boo. No Repo Man in his right mind would venture into your neighborhood.

    I'm sure Repo Men are accustomed to living with danger and all that. Goes with the line of work, no doubt. However, everyone has their limits.

    I would think that the necessity of wiring an I.D. to one's own big toe prior to entering Boo's neighborhood would put most Repo Men off of the idea.

    Papa

    PS

    Those of you responding to the one currently assigned to Coventry, please refrain from doing so in the future.

  7. Originally posted by Boo Radley:

    Faugh! I wave my hand at you.

    Great. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon dashing my skull against the nearest blunt object. All in a vain effort to rid my mind of the image of Boo waving his delicate, manicured, limp-wristed hand (complete with pleated sleeve, no doubt... not that there's anything wrong with that) at his latest manservant, 3.7mm.

    Papa

  8. Originally posted by dalem:

    You know, there are times when a clay plug coated in vaseline really comes in handy.

    You, sir, are correct! As a matter of fact, I was hoping I'd have access to at least 3 clay plugs come this Saturday evening.

    Though the use I envision for the clay plugs really doesn't require any vaseline.

    Papa

    PS

    So you don't like Geronimo either, eh? I don't know why I'm still surprised sometimes. Given your status as a Patrick Swayze groupie, that is....

  9. I feel sad for MrSpkr because...

    I only get to pick one thing? <big>ONE</big>!!

    Joe, you cruel bastiche.

    Well, like it or not, I suppose the instructions are clear. I mean it's not like one of the Australians tried to post them or anything.

    Mind you, I'm tempted to issue a Seanachai-like diatribe on the evils of an idjit Texas lawyer harboring a farm-girl porn fetish. But I suppose if everyone indulged themselves recklessly, eventually the very fabric of our society would crumble. So I shall limit myself to the following item.

    I feel sorry for MrSpkr because his beloved state will forever be best remembered for lines in the film Geronimo. Lines written for a character possessed of many prejudices, in reference to persons who had committed unspeakable acts, and delivered with perfection by Robert Duvall.

    They go something like this...

    "Who could do such a thing? What form of white man could stoop this low? ...Must be Texans. Lowest form of white man there is."

    Papa

    [ October 19, 2004, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

  10. Lars,

    Lets make dalem invite us to his house Saturday for Drunken Third Reich. I left beer at his house last weekend, so we'd best not wait too long before we get back over there. dalem isn't exactly a paragon of will power, you know.

    Also, Lars, I shall require a proper whipping boy to spell you when your constitution begins to falter, so I suggest we enlist Seanachai as well.

    Papa

    PS

    And for God's sake, dalem, try to have the proper fruit on hand this time, will you! I'll have you know that it was completely unacceptable to have to use the garnish from the carry-out Mexican joint. Not that it will stop me from drinking the rest of the Corona should you fail in this most simple of tasks. No, mind you, that's not how it would go at all.

    In fact, I begin to see through your thinly veiled plot, you (pardon me, Elvis) wanker. You have been TRYING to put me off the Corona by denying me the fruits I am so justly entitled to. Hah!

    So since you're not going to get to drink all the beer yourself anyway, I beseech you to do your duty as my cabana boy and go buy a proper variety and amount of fruit.

  11. Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

    As usual, for those of lower intellectual ability (read: "males"), subtle humor goes right over your heads.

    Given the limited cerebral capacity most of these CessPool speci<big>men</big>s possess, I can hardly blame our good Lady for coming to such a conclusion. But surely She would not stoop so low as to assume that <big>all</big> of us are possessed of the same sloped forehead and protruding jaw that say, Lars, or Boo, or Joe, or Emry's, or dalem, or Mace, or or or... well ok pretty much everyone other than me... tend to exhibit.

    Surely?

    Papa

  12. Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

    May I suggest that after having him flogged, you have him chained to a rock where young children can come, point, and ask him embarrassing questions about why he smells that way?

    Michael

    Allow me to save you the trouble, Mr. Emry's. Here's a list of answers that should address the questions you and your pack of street urchins will no doubt have questions for.

    1) Bathing

    2) Deodorant

    3) Toothbrush

    4) Toothpaste

    5) Shampoo

    6) Having teeth to use number 3 and number 4 on

    7) Clean clothes

    8) Having hair to use number 5 on

    9) Soap

    10) Not living in the back of a van, down by the river

    Did I miss anything?

    Papa

  13. Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

    As to the misspelling. 'Tis not my usual, to be certain. And that "a" was looming at me from my quote of Mr. Khann.

    Therefore, I blame him for this.

    And I readily accept the blame. I really must learn not to post with my mouth full. Or after I've refilled dalem's trash with beer bottles and fruit rinds. It always turns out poorly.

    AND he won't send me a shrubbery.

    NO EXCUSES, KHANN! I want that shrubbery!!! *stomps petit foot clad in strappy stilleto*

    Oh! My pardon...was that your foot?

    Oh dear.

    Not to worry. Last time I checked I had at least two of those.

    As to the shrubbery, it shall not be an easy thing to manage. But I promise to do what I can.

    Lars! Front and center! I've a task for you. Stand up straight. Stop chewing on that, whatever it is. And no, I don't want to share it. Or even see it... All right, all right, just put it back in your mouth! There's a good lad.

    We require a shrubbery for a stiletto clad Lady of the Pool... What? No, no, whatever it is you're chewing on simply won't do, you dolt. Now off to the forest with you, and see that you don't return without a suitable specimen.

    (I don't expect him back before the spring growing season. Then again, it's sort of a win-win, if you take my meaning.)

    Papa

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