Seanachai

I am eternal...

Grog Dorosh, Grog Dorosh riding cross the sward Grog Dorosh, Grog Dorosh sowing much discord Hated by all And casting a pall Grog Dorosh, Grog Dorosh...Grog Dorosh

And don't your teeth just shiver at the association, you Kiwi swine.

You fool! You've just set our progress to true Multiculture Diversity back by months! Into the 'Sensitivity Training Pit' with you, toad!

Look, Old Foul Joe, there's no use whinging. We've got quotas that need filling, you fool! SturmSebber helps, Joe. Besides, I find him amusing, so bugger off. Lord, this 'diversity' thing is killing me, and a whinging Justicar is no bloody help at all! Okay, we've got the 'Gay Minor Nation Lunatic' slot filled (you'll excuse the expression). Now, does anyone know any East European lesbians that would be interested in Knighthood?

Odd, I don't think he qualifies Seanachai... I don't recall him ever posting in the first 20 pages of the original thread </font>

Dear God, I'd tried to suppress the memories of that movie. Was there a point? Did anybody win? And where are my shoes?

I do not, in fact, remember making Papa Khann a Seniour Knight. On the other hand, I do not remember not making him a Seniour Knight, so he should be regarded as now being a Seniour Knight. Oh, and SturmSebber is a Knight.

Lads, Ladies, and all: I have but just returned from Rome, where I was flown on a private jet for a meeting with the Conclave before they convene on Monday. There was some concerns about my candidacy given that I am not, currently, a Cardinal of the Church. This difficulty was overcome in a secret session on Wednesday, when I was elevated to the post in order to clear the way for my almost inevitable elevation to the Papacy. I also met with many Church leaders in order to garner their support for suppressing the false and heretical bid for the Papacy by the loathsome toad, Dalem. Now, on to the important stuff. Jim Boggs was a good man, a great man, and a damn fine 'Pooler. I first met Boggs on the Outerboard, and my first impression was 'damn, I think I'll invite this sucker over to the Peng Challenge Thread. You remember that, Joe, don't you? You remember shrieking like a fishwife about 'Seanachai's recruiting again!'? Well, I was right. Boggs came over to the Cesspool, and he was a fine addition. He was humourous, but not vulgar. He was a gentle soul, and I remember him remonstrating with me on the GF when I...um...sometimes got a bit above myself. He was well-spoken, and many a time on the General Forum, when things became too heated, he was there with a joke and a good word for all. He has been missed, and we will continue to miss him. But at least we got the chance to know him, even if it was simply by way of this silly Forum. As I was being driven in a limo from the Rome airport to the Vatican, I was reminiscing about him with several Cardinals. A number of them asked me for the URL to the Forum so they could check out the words of 'Signor Boggs' for themselves. I will be adding his name to the candidates for Sainthood upon my Assumption. I will miss him. A jolly singsong to his memory: I had a friend, a friend I could trust He went into the park and got busted Doing the ring-a-round-a-rosy rag Went in the park late at night And he put a lot of people over eighty up tight He was doing the ring-a-round-a-rosy rag Ring around, ring around rose Touch your nose and blow your toes and mind Doing the ring-around-a-rosy rag (It really was a drag) Ring around, ring-around-a-rose Touch your nose and blow your toes and mind Doing the ring-around-a-rosy rag We ought to send Officer Joe Strange To some Australian mountain range So we all can do the ring-around-a-rosy rag Would you like to put Philidelphia up tight One mass ring-around-a-rosy In the middle of the night? We all should do the ring-around-a-rosy rag Ring-around-a-rosy Rag -Arlo Guthrie

In this time of sorrow, Jim Boggs was one of us. In the last year, I've lost so much. I didn't want to lose anything more. I haven't lost anything. What I've gained, over and over again, is all of you. Every time I've cried, you stupid bastards were there. Every time things hurt, you stupid fecking bastards were there. Every time I looked at my life, totted up the score, and wondered how I'd achieved so little... YOU BASTARDS WERE THERE! I blame you all. Thanks for always being there. You cocksuckers.

No. However, if you decide to become a Knights Templar, and wage Holy War against the enemies of the One, True, Apostolic Faith (as headed by myself), you will be granted access to all the repressed, guilt ridden, hot Catholic girls that we free from the clutches of Dalem and his lot, with whom you can conduct 'strengthening the faith' instruction sessions. But you have to bathe, be well-mannered, and remember that you are all God's creatures. You, of course, are more of a 'creature' than they are, and rather less of God's than they, as well.

Schism, is it? Roight! Harken, all ye Soldiers of God! Know those of you who would cleave to the True Pope (whose appointment is freaking imminent, I tell you!), know that my Second Act as Pope shall be to Exonerate, Rehabilitate, and Reestablish the Knights Templar! Okay, who wants to be a Templar, and go forth to smite the heathen? We're talking Knights Magus, wealth, bizarre rites, Kabbalism, willful hedonism, you name it.

I'm in a festive mood, and I thought: Hey, how much more merciful and pontifical to begin my reign with a scourging, rather than an auto-da-fé. I am, of course, still torn about what name to take for my period of office. While 'Pope Seanachai I' has a wonderful, bodhran and pipes sound to it, 'Pope George Ringo I' also springs to mind, as a counter-balance to the last two 'everyone wants to be the songwriters' stuff.

Truly, it's a wonder Rune will even show up on this Forum anymore...

Oh, great! Just when a sodding Italian might actually have been of some use, and he's at odds with the Candidate I've chosen to help me restructure the Church. And their argument has me torn, as well. Now, it was a dearly held belief in my youth that 'No one was more unrepentantly liable to indulge in cheap, slutty sex than Parochial school girls', because of the 'chip on the shoulder/getting even with the parents/nuns phenomenon'. Thus Dalem has a point that whether out of rebellion, or repression, or what have you, that the Catholic girls were perceived as being far more likely to go in for serious, serious kinks than Protestants. On the other hand, Emrys's approach to the healing of the virgin/whore dichotomy is not only intriguing, but sounds a whole lot less objectionable than saying 'I fancy hot slutty repressed Catholic girls.' In the end, Dalem, my primary devotion to the Goddess, whom I shall soon be reintroducing into Catholicism, decides me in favour of Michael and his 'joyous, guiltless embracing of equals'. Besides, once we get the repressed and guilt ridden Catholic girls back in touch with the Goddess, the way will be open for Baptist girls to really take the field and work over the territory that's currently so strongly held by Catholic girls. Final Papal Decision To Be: Dalem is to be scourged through the streets of the city, and bitter herbs to be laid on the wounds. Which will do my heart good on other issues, anyways.

closes slightly agape mouth Cardinal Emrys, I will be sending you clerks, lackeys and go-fers to assist you and free up your time to develop this new and breathtaking theology into the rich, spiritual, and, above all, physical reality that will help me to Save the Church. And, so that the 'seed of your thought' shall not fall unto barren ground, I will employ the good offices of the Church to round up virgins, wanton hussies, outright sluts and, for the sheer randy hell of it, SturmSebber, and send them over to you so that your inquiries into the dynamics of this new theology may be most fully realized. Now forgive me, but your 'Pope to Be' must needs go off and get completely trashed. I will return shortly.

My first edict will be the World's Most Savage and With Malice Aforethought Renunciation of Celibacy. I mean, really. That's worked out so well!

It'll be broken 'Your Holiness' pretty quick here, you Finn!

History has shown us that the masses will get the icons We choose, prep, and package for them. Wow! Notice how naturally that 'We' came to me? I feel intensely coopted already...

You see before you a broken man. Viljuri was like a son to me! And yet, he wants me banned. Worse, he lumped me in with wbs. All this, of course, simply shows how much like the son-I-never-had he truly is. I guess it's good that my upcoming elevation to Pope will distract me with many new duties, and help to keep the sorrow and depression at bay. Somebody flog the College of Cardinals into action! I need the satisfaction of duty's distraction!

You're not keeping up with the concept of a 'Gonzo Papacy' at all, are you, you nasty little Belgian?

Do not speak of the potential future BVM that way, you vulgar little man.

Be quiet, you toad! Everyone knows that you think Cruiser tanks burn easily, so your credibility is so much shoe-scrapings on this Forum!

Stop objecting to me immediately, or there will be no cushy, corrupt, Church delivered plums coming your way when I am Pope. Witness the carrot. Now for the stick: I will have you declared the new Joseph, your wife the Virgin incarnate, and your son the Messiah. If you think what's happening in Rome is a zoo, wait and see what that does to up-State New York and your life-style, you tosser. The True Believers will be carving chunks off the Tiger tank to take home with them to their hovels in the shadow of the cathedrals...

What, you point your toes at the ceiling or somefink? Steve </font>