Seanachai

I'd call you a whore, but you are far to cheap </font>

Okay, I'm here at Rune's place, and Berli is already down on the floor, giving the tongue to Rune's dog, Elvis. The horror...the horror...

Well, I'm off at some hideous hour of the morning...actually, a few hours from now, to visit Chicagoland. Think of the wonders I will see there! I will see Bauhaus sit down! I will watch Moriarity go on always with the negative waves! I will see Berli perform hideous ceremonies in which he propitiates any evil spirits that may be inhabiting his possessions and furniture with his own blood! Rune shall strike me sharply on the nose with a rolled up copy of the NDA! And, on the drive down, I will stop in Beloit and neuter NG Cavscout. It's for the good of all mankind. [ March 14, 2005, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I'd be sitting in a peppermint smelling puddle of my own urine singing 'Ja, Ja, Ja', and hailing Pope Emrys I...

If the only thing I had in the house was a two year old bottle of schnapps, I'd either take my own life, or wait for the college of cardinals to announce my assumption of the papacy. You've got my vote when that idiot John Paul kacks, Michael.

Arrrr! And now, a Scottish Pirate Love Song! Arrr! I was after a prize with lust in me eyes when what should before me I see but a fair Scottish ship with some sass to her jib just a sauntering over the sea 'I'll board her', I cried And hove along side she was cutting the waves like a dove with pomade in me hair I met her stern stare And I proffered me piratey love She smiled most sweetly and then turned to meet me Said 'sir Pirate, what would you here?' I said 'a kiss! would not be amiss' And I grappled with ruddy good cheer 'A kiss', she replied 'you shall not be denied' And she lowered her eyes as if coy Then she splattered me nose like a trodden on rose cried: 'a glasgow kiss for you, boy!' blinded with pain and her forceful disdain I staggered about like a drunk she brought up her knee to that part of me where me legs gathered into me trunk I fell at her feet (Even they smelled quite sweet) And I assumed the fetal position She put in the boot they were leather, and cute and belabored me with her derision 'I love a good pirate there's none can deny it' She told me twixt blows to my groin But I know in my marrow It'd best be Jack Sparrow if a kiss they think to purloin So to pirates wherever I tell them it's better to make sure a Scotswoman's willing Or you'll sail to despair and the loss of your pair And she'll sail right on to your killing!

In the Mace household, they're sacrificed atop a pile of empty beers.

Frigate Matilda! Frigate Matilda! Won't you come frig in the riggin' with me? Oh we swung from the bunk and bunged another cabin boy! Won't you frig old Matilda with me! -An Aussie Pirate Song

That never happens. When I reach that point, I simply close one eye... Arrr! Who's for a Pirate singsong, says I!

Anyone else notice that Peng was so drunk he posted twice?

Shouldn't that be 'Women, or female sheep'? I mean, really, Mace. Bestiality is one thing, but homosexual bestiality is completely beyond the pale...

You were having impure thoughts about rleete? THat's just wrong on several levels </font>

And you'll never amount to anything. I suppose you're feeling all smug about having reproduced, and such. Well, remember, old man, that I'm the spiritual father of your kid! It was my...hand? thought? look, I'm not getting into that...It was my WILL that directed the impregnation! You ought to send me a Father's Day card.

I may have to state it more emphatically: Nothing is either good or bad, but pork makes it so. DEAD PIG FOR EVERYONE! IT'S HOLIDAY!

You know, Mace, with enough beer, we could do anything! We could...we could build a bridge all the way from Australia to America! We could use New Zealand as a abutment. What the hell else are we going to do with them?

I love you. *kiss* Mace </font>

Beer! And then, more beer! And some extra beer I got just in case.

Umm...can I hug Charles, too?

I'm one of the clearest thinkers of this Century. Just for that, I shan't share my vision for Asia, Australia, and the rest of Europe.

If a pig hasn't died, can it really be breakfast?

Okay, I'm willing to make a start. I propose that the Low Countries be divided between France and Germany. It's time to knock those bloody Dutch and Belgian buggers off their high horse and tread them into the mud that the rest of us live in. Further, England is to become a Protectorate of Scotland until such time as She shows herself capable of self-government. Next, all America Blue States will unify with Canada to create a new World Super Power, and all American Southern Red States will be returned to Mexico or Spain, to form a new source of cheap, ignorant labour willing to work for pork rinds, budweiser and the chance to interbreed without government hinderance. All Western Red States north of Oklahoma will be depopulated by driving all the inhabitants south into Texas. Ohio will be turned into a huge theme park based on the 'Road Warriour' movies, and anyone with a serious lust for the internal combustion engine and weapons will be allowed to rampage through the place with impunity, provided they get a permit and sign the appropriate insurance waivers. Oklahoma will be set up as a 5 star tourism 'Gateway to the Great Hunt' area. Hotels and resorts will cater to those who wish to join a safari into Texas, there to hunt the inhabitants in their native environment. Rather like Kenya or Tanzania. Finally, everyone in California will be sold into slavery to the inhabitants of Oregon and Washington, who will use them to fuel a new economy that doesn't depend on selling every single tree to the Japanese.

Oh, and Mike the Wino, I couldn't help note that in your usual rush to 'post more drunk than every', the title of this thread is 'Every Gather Round'. Perhaps, besides the State's efforts to monitor your movements, you should employ a personal assistant to check your work?

Oh, please! You couldn't win a battle for the domination of the soul of the Forum if you offered to use your tongue in a way that comes under two different categories of 'extra charge' on a brothel menu. What do you have to offer besides the willingness to discuss the issues, a certain (overrated) amount of groggish knowledge, and a huge amount of attitude? Whereas what I offer is: Nothing except a huge amount of attitude. However, you're Canadian, so I still win. Even your 'attitude' is definitely 'second string nation' stuff. Now, I have never ventured to directly address our Steve before, but I know that... Oh, who am I kidding?! Steve and I are like this! (makes a gesture with crossed fingers that indicates a deeply, deeply sincere relationship of 'buddyhood') Nearly every week I send Steve emails about the way the game should evolve, and I routinely receive chummy 'restraining orders' (Steve, by the by, I did not care for your lawyer's tone in that last missive at all). Could two people be more close, and not in the same family? So let me be the first to give our Steve a great, big, 'Forum Hug'. Oh, and Steve? If PBEM goes the way of being unplayable on a dial-up connection, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN WITH AN AXE AND KILL YOU LIKE A FINN! Love to the wife and little ones, and, seriously, stop threatening legal action. How likely am I to ever actually find Maine? I'll be lucky to find Illinois next week, and all I have to do then is drive East until I hit too much water to drive through, and then follow the coast until I get to Berli's place. I imagine Maine would take far more work. [ March 08, 2005, 11:15 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

And now, for our Queen (honoured more in the breach than in the observance), another lovely song from the man with the smokey New England voice... Well, I can't turn around and I can't go back when the snows come down here in Cadillac And it's so many miles up to Marquette And the night is coming but it hasn't fallen yet I know you need me but you just forget I wish you loved me I wish you did Everybody warned me, 'Look out, kid.' Watch the waitress lean against the Fridgedaire The only past I've got is written down somewhere She argues with the cook and I agree I'm just sitting at the counter dreaming of Italy and counting all my friends who claim they don't know me... Nothing lasts though I wish it did Everybody warned me, 'Look out, kid.' In the railroad flats, they talk in tongues And nobody breathes till his song is sung You can look around, but there's nothing here to steal Take a look in the mirror, tell me how I feel Coughing up blood in a Motel 6 thinking this time, it's for real I wish you knew me like the desk clerk did when he tried to warn me, 'Look out, kid.' This morning got stolen by the paper boy as the wind blew in from Illinois I just stayed in bed and waited for the chambermaid Thinking maybe I could talk her into a trade My job for hers as long as we both get paid I wish you heard me I wish you did When she tried to warn me, 'Look out, kid.' In the rolling snow each town's the same And I can get called by a hundred names And I ain't seen you since I can't remember when But I've got a French postcard and a German pen Finally send you all the words to "You Win Again" so you can sing it just like Hank did Hey, sign right here and look out kid. Everybody Warned Me -Bill Morrissey

Do all Slovenians trademark their names? </font>