Seanachai

Musta been your overriding goal in life </font>

You bonding with Seanachai? What a sad and pathetic life you lead </font>

Especially true, given that we all know he calls out his own name during sex. Which makes sense, as he's the only one there. </font>

Tell us about the casseroles, Seanachai. Do they still scream in the night? </font>

Hardly curious, were you? I fail to see how telling me to stop posting is a sign of curiosity. And obviously, if I'd KNOWN I was incorrect, or if I'd had reason to doubt my claim before this, I wouldn't have posted with such authority, would I? It's not like I was a dick to you and argued your counter-claim, was I? So why were you a dick to me? Like I said, we obviously can't all be the omniscient Michael Dorosh. You'll just have to live with that fact. </font>

Especially true, given that we all know he calls out his own name during sex. Which makes sense, as he's the only one there.

He had to kind of lump you in there because if he simply concentrates on berating myself and Dorosh, the Moderators notice the 'usual pattern' and start looking more closely at his IP address.

Oh, it leaves hundreds. No problem, really. One should always couch these things in 'qualifiers', such as: I thought, I believe so, If I recall correctly, it was my understanding, things like that. Then you don't look like you're handing down the revealed word of God. One should save the 'Revealed Word of God' pronouncements for things that all know to be true and inarguable, like 'Grog Dorosh is a vicious swine', things like that. Really, you can't let Michael get to you. It's just his crusty way. I mean, if you take offense at his demeanour, you'll probably burst an aneurism, or something. Just do what I do. When he comes down too heavy on you, imagine that you're floating in a quiet pool filled with lily pads. Well, actually, I mercilessly satirize the man. But I bet the 'lily pad pool' thing is almost as relaxing and fun.

Well, but as he doesn't charge for it, it doesn't really need a warranty, now does it?

Hmmm...I suppose we should keep it simple, as this is probably just another incarnation of someone previously banned. Gaylord always went out of his way to get my screen name wrong, as I remember. Please refrain from expressing your personal, irrelevant (to me) and unappreciative opinions, as you are undoubtedly either a troll, or completely clueless.

They destroyed my home planet, and enslaved my entire people. And casseroles. Let's not forget casseroles.

When I woke up this morning, I had stern things to say to you all. But then, what with one thing and another, and the smell of new mown grass floating in through the windows, and the catchy beat of Harry Belafonte on the stereo, and several delightful conversations either online or by phone with friends, I came to realize that everything is really...all right. You're not a bad lot of gibbering halfwits. Well, you are, but it's just your way. But it would do me no end of good to come back here later tonight, and see a lot more posting done that doesn't look like it was done by Zombies, and, moreover, zombies who are English, and, on top of that, Zombie English who are, in fact, Chartered Accounts, and, to top it off, it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all to see you lot posting as though you weren't Zombie English Chartered Accountants Who Are Feeling a Bit Shirty About How Fecking Boring Their Endlessly Fecking Boring Lives Are. That's all I ask. It's not much, really. I just want to see some posting that doesn't read like dog's vomit curdling on a hot sidewalk, growing steadily more rancid by the minute as the harsh light of readership extracts from it every last vestige of desirability. Seriously, some of what you toads post diminishes the very essence of the beauty of language and the joys of social interaction the more it is read. When I come here, I want, preferably, to not see the Life sucked out of human interaction. Now, you will excuse me, I'm sure. I have to go to Brit's Pub and reassure a good friend that she shall achieve her Master's Degree, that she is a good Mother, that she is a wonderful person, good friend, and Chosen of the Goddess. As for you lot, you are...adequate to my current needs. I like you more than diarrhea. Even though, most of the time, your impact on me is about the same.

I love threads like this. They reconfirm for me all the reasons that I hate all things Australia, and inspire to ever greater efforts to 'Crush All Australians'. Ohmigod! GreenAsJade is an Australian?! It's like punching the last marker on one's 'Card of Feral Hatred' to discover that. Seems a bit off, though. He almost never seems to be drunk. Maybe he's a Pom?

There is nothing more satisfying to the soul than shelling a Protestant church into a pile of broken, smoking rubble. Good times, good times...

Still bitter about my rush to marry off your deeply, deeply hideously annoying Canadian arse to the first two women with standards low enough to date you? I forgive you. I've filled out all the forms, and as I am working this week, I'm happy to pay the $50 (Canadian) fee to assume all the rights and duties of the position as Pastor in the Church of the Assumptive Grog (Christ Almighty, Google is simply awesome). Do you have the ring, my son?

Why aren't you on AIM you tart? </font>

I demand more...more...well, pretty much more anything. Words, maybe. I don't feel comfortable in such laconic surroundings.

Having met both the dog in question, and Dalem, I'm looking forward to the dog teaching Dalem, rather than vice versa. Another Scandinavian floating down the Mississippi, intent on reaching Canada... Go with the alcohol. That way, your awesome mental incompetence can be attributed to an external factor.

Where's my turn, you cross-dressing Canadian 'Dorosh-in-training?!

As this reads, it means that if I make Morraine cry, I get to have my dangly bits. According to you, to be a man, I need to make women cry. You should be ashamed. I'm calling your Mother, wife, and any other woman in your life, and explaining that you need a good kicking.

Dear God, from where?!!

Yes, but I'm no longer enjoying even that. However I continue, because I'm very disciplined, and know my duty. These days I'm very...detached. I'm even watching my own life pass by like a bad 'Reality TV' program, the way you would if you simply had the television on in the background while you screwed around on the computer, hoping that later some semi-decent syndicated comedy repeat will come on, or maybe a powerful, motivating and interesting movie like 'Beastmaster II', or 'Barbarian Princess in Dinosaur Hell'. Something classy.

Joe, our relationship with you is like many a long standing, successful marriage: The less we see of each other, the stronger the relationship is assumed to be, and the happier everyone in the relationship is. Also, every time you go out of town, we cheat on you with other Justicars...

I imagine it was more a matter of 'Did I tell you what I had on a girl that actually agreed to see me on Sunday afternoon?' Frankly, Michael, that had to have been her line...

Bugger. You lot might want to avert your eyes. I think we're about to be treated to a round of 'Genitalia Puppet Show Theater'...