Newbies Post Your Tourney AARs Here!!

[YankeeDog]

As per my suggestion (endorsed by SuperTed) on the newbie tourney thread, this thread is created expressly as a space to post AARs for completed scenarios from the various newbie tournaments.

It is gently suggested that you refrain from posting AARs from scenarios that others are still playing in the tournies. Even seemingly innocent information, such as "Round 5 and no contact yet" gives someone who has not started that particular battle information - if he sees 2 or 3 people post this, he knows that contact is unlikely in the opening turns of the scenario and can adjust his battle plan accordingly.

If you simply MUST post an AAR for a Tourney round still in progress, please note this at the top of the post so that those who wish to can avoid reading your AAR.

So, fellow Newbies, post away!! I am looking forward to reading all of the juicy details. Non-Newbie Tournament participants are of course welcome to read (like I could stop you), but you may want to refrain so you can enjoy SuperTed's wonderful scenarios fresh when he (hopefully) releases them to the community-at-large after the tournaments are over.

As of right now, the following scenarios are finished in the tournaments and are therefore open season for complete and detailed AARs:

Blind Man's Bluff

p.s. - my AAR for BMB will follow shortly!!

[SuperTed]

What he said! :cool:

Thanks, YD.

[Eric Alkema]

Here goes, this is cribbed from an update that I sent to SuperTed.

Well, after rushing my krauts to about two thirds of the way across the map in more or less the same "V" formation that they started in, I hunkered down in what I thought were likely spots for the Poles to advance (retreat?).

The thought was to be stationary and have them stumble into me. That way I would spot them first and get the first shot. In other scenarios I have run headlong into where I thought sure there couldn't be any badguys and watched

entire platoons evaporate. I had my guys more spread out than I would have in a daytime scenario. I was counting on surprise and I didn't want them to slip past in the dark. Half of my center platoon made contact first and wiped out two squads and maybe the HQ. Shortly after that my center sharpshooter, who had stayed hidden, saw two units run right past him, right to left. Also around this time my left platoon got a sound contact that eventually disappeared.

The weird part was that it seemed to be going the same way I was! Anyway, it was time for the left platoon to hunker down and hope they were sitting

on the spot the Poles were headed towards. I think they were. All hell broke loose on turn five and folks died like flies for the next few turns. Since then I lost the HQ unit for my left platoon but about a squad and a half

worth of troops from that platoon are still alive. The middle platoon's HQ

is down to 1 guy and the company HQ was also wiped out. I claim that that it was because of the short command radius caused by the dark and the fog.

Meanwhile, my right platoon hasn't fired a shot. I chased a few panicked stragglers off the left edge of the map and then marched to the exit. Tactical victory for the badguys.

[SuperTed]

Guys,

I just wanted to remind everybody of where we are right now. Mighty Mouse, Medium Rare, and Down in the Valley are currently being played. So, keep reports of these scenarios as vague as possible.

As YD mentioned, Blind Man's Bluff is officially complete. So, feel free to report your battles candidly here.

Thanks for all the great feedback!

[YankeeDog]

Well, I'm at work right now, so I can't watch the movies again to refresh my memory, but since work is slow tonight, I figure I'll take a first crack at an AAR for Blind Man's Bluff. . . I'll edit this later if I find I've forgotten anything cool.

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YankeeDog's AAR for Blind Man's Bluff (my Polish Airborne vs. Zitadelle's Fallschirmjager)

Briefing: Late in the Battle of the Bulge - the Allies are pushing in on the Bulge from all direction. Basically, my company of Polish Airborne has overextended its advance and is now dangerously ahead of the units on its flanks. My orders are to get my Company back to safety. The Germans in the area are known to be retreating, so it's quite possible that I will run in to some going the opposite direction. If I can, secondary objective is to inflict whatever casualties I can on retreating german units.

Setup: The map is more or less flat, and heavily wooded with a few medium-sized clearings. Not only is it night, it's also foggy, so LOS sucks (50m in the clearings, 15-25m in the woods). I have a full company (4 platoons) of Polish Airborne, plus two sharpshooters My units are mostly Veteran and above, but I do have a couple of regular squads. I have no heavy weapons -the briefing states that these have been left behind in the advance. For setup, all of my units are locked in place. My 4 platoons are stretched in a more or less horizontal line across the map, about 1/3 of the way towards my exit zone. There is a german exit zone on the map edge behind me. My two sharpshooters are about 2/3 of the way towards the exit zone, one on my right flank, one on the left.

Analysis and Battle Plan: While I don't actually know anything about what I'm going to face for opposition, it's a pretty safe assumption that Zitadelle's force composition and mission are pretty similar to mine. I know he has an exit zone, and considering the nature of the map, it's extremely unlikely that he has any vehicles or armour. I know he has an exit zone, so his orders must be similar to mine. This scenarios is a straight-out infantry slugfest then, but with a twist: We've both got a date with a map edge, so we can't hang out and chat too long.

My first thought upon receiving the setup was that, given the short LOS, my platoons were spread out way too much to support each other in any meaningful way. I therefore decided that I would consolidate the entire company into my left flank, and proceed towards the exit zone from there. If I did this, I figured there were 3 possibilities: (1) he would do the same thing on his right flank, we'd run smack into each other, and there would be very few survivors, (2) He'd do the same thing on his left flank, and we'd completely miss each other, or (3) He would not consolidate his platoons so tightly, and I'd catch one or two of his platoons with more or less my entire force, enabling me to destroy them with local superiority, and then get the hell out of dodge before his other platoons came to the rescue.

The other thing I thought when I looked at the setup was that it would be to my advantage if first contact was made closer to my exit zone rather than his - that way I would have more time to maneuver, while Zitadelle would have to be more concerned about breaking off in time to make it to the exit zone. For this reason, I decided to RUN the platoons on my right flank laterally across the map to get into position right away. I knew that running in the woods at night where there are bad guys with guns hiding is not a good idea, but I figured it was unlikely he had more than sharpshooters that deep into the map. If a sharpshooter popped up and got 2-3 of my guys, not a big deal - the sharpshooter would almost certainly pay for it with his life, and sharpshooters are worth a lot of points [This was my most erroneous assumption - more on that later]. Since my plan was not really predicated on stealth, I was not worried about the running platoons being spotted, either. In fact, they could serve to draw Zitadelle into my strong position on the Left Flank.

So off we go. I don't rememeber the exact turn things happened on, so I'll add those later.

First couple of minutes go without contact. My left flank platoon is moving forward across an a clearing. the center left platoon is just to it's right, overwatching and guarding it's flank. On my right, I discover that running infantry through the woods does very little good - it's barely faster than moving, and they get tired really quickly.

About Turn 3, I order my Center Right platoon, now just about on the center line of the map, to run forward across a clearing to get into a position where it can overwatch the Center Left platoon's next move. It has two half squads forward, with two full squads following about 25 meters behind. At about 30 seconds into the turn, the half squads enter the woods. Just as the rest of the platoon approaches the wood (about 40 seconds into the turn), a german unit (identified as crew? but almost certainly a sharpshooter) pop up on the treeline almost exactly in the middle of the platoon. All hell breaks loose. The entire platoon wheels around and fires on the sharpshooter. In the ensuing friendly fire orgy, I lose one ENTIRE squad, have a second reduced to 3 men, and lose the ENTIRE command unit. Only the two half squads, a bit further ahead than the rest, are unscathed. The sharpshooter is also dead. Lesson learned: Travelling overwatch, while faster, is nowhere near as good as bounding overwatch. If I had stopped the half squads on the tree line and let them overwatch, they probably would have picked up the sharpshooter faster and elimiated him without so many friendly fire casualties - they walked within 10m of him.

I spend the next few turns bringing my Company CO up to rally the remains of the damaged platoon and bringing the Left platoon across into the hole in my line (more slowly and carefully now!!)

Once the damaged platoon is rallied, I decide to use the 3-man platoon to scout ahead across a clearing and into the woods. They run into what looks like the bulk of the german force - at least two platoons, and I positively identify the Company CO. A big firefight ensues between these two platoons and my right, center right (badly damaged), and center left platoons. My left platoon is out near the map edge watching my flank. From my perspective, the exchange seems more or less even. I nail his entire Company CO unit. Unfortunately, about a turn later, he does the same to mine. Leaving me with 1 completely leaderless (and soon routed) squad. Lesson: No matter how much you need that little bit of extra firepower, keep Company COs out of the line of fire - they're too valuable.

Next, He brings at least a platoon in on my right flank. This may have acutually been two platoons (I'm not sure). In any event, my sharpshooter sees them coming. Unfortunately, I waste my sharpshooter my not hiding him and allowing him to take shots at this group. I don't know if he got anybody, but he certainly ended up dead. I should have kept him hidden - he's worth too many points not to exit.

I end up with a slight upper hand in the firefight. Mostly, I think, because I know my left flank is clear from having a sharpshooter and a platoon scout it heavily. This allows me to wheel right with my left flank and sweep the area of the firefight late in the battle. This platoon picks finds a nearly whole but routed squad, which it eliminates while taking only one casualty, and also catches a command unit, probably trying to rally said squad. Amazingly, one of the German soldiers in the command unit escapes, even though he has to run across about 30m of open field under heavy fire to do so. Some guys have all the luck.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, somewhere in the fracas I also manage to kill his other sharpshooter, which he unwisely committed to the firefight.

By this time it's late in the battle, and I have to break for the exit. I assume Zitadelle is doing the same thing, becuause we never make contact again. I manage to exit about a platoon and a half, and I leave two units on the map - a badly mauled squad that kept panicking while being withdrawn (it almost made it off) and the routed squad left over from the platoon that had the encounter with the sharpshooter - it never rallied and ended the battle lying where it first panicked.

I end up with a minor victory if I recall correctly, the score was 56-44. I think the difference came down to my managing to exit one sharpshooter and his both being dead. Otherwise, the casualties and exit totals were pretty much the same.

All in all, a good learning experience. I'm pretty happy that I was able to pull out at a minor victory after such a disasterous beginning with the sharpshooter encounter. I've definitely learned some lessons about maneuvering and fighting in heavy cover and poor LOS.

Kudos to SuperTed for an excellent scenario. And many thanks to my opponent, Zitadelle, for a well fought battle. This one came down to luck, I think. . .

Cheers,

YD

[Commander]

My experience with Blind Man's Bluff was as the Polish Allies in the first round of the Newbie Tournament. I was pretty excited as this was my first tournament. I found out that my opponent was Leta, a very nice Spaniard from Madrid that kicks ass when playing Combat Mission. I knew my forces would be up against the nasty Germans. At seeing the way the forces were layed out I decided to combine the half squads and have the center located squads move to the respective map edge flanks. I would then have two equal sized forces on either side of the map. My plan was to forme a wedge with infantry squads while keeping the HQ, sharpshooter units behind and between the map edge. I figured if I ran straight into a German platoon that I would be wasted as everyone knows that German infantry is wicked at short range engagements. If I didn't run into the Germans - I might win. Well, I did the newbie thing and started my guys running for the exit zone. Its like he knew my plan. Leta had parked German everywhere just waiting for me. My forces on the front right lost almost everyone. Guys were screaming. It was awful. I think one squad made it to the exit zone and it had major casualties. About the same thing happened on the other side. There were dead bodies everywhere. Leta's killers killed me quick and then ran for the exit zone. The score was so lopsided that I knew I would have to really rule in round 2. I had fun playing my first tournament game. I learned how to do tcpip (It's great if you have the time), found a cool new CM opponent (You are cool Leta!) and we have drawn the last three games we have played.

I want to publicly thank SuperTed again for hosting such a wonderful tournament. The only bad thing I can say about the experience is that....well, I am still a newbie.

[SuperTed]

Okay, who's in charge of this thread? I keep finding it on the second page.

[Zitadelle]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by SuperTed:

Okay, who's in charge of this thread? I keep finding it on the second page. <hr></blockquote>

Don't blame me- I'm busy writing my Blind Man's AAR. Perhaps Newbie's like to stay under cover and hide on the second page.

[DL]

Yankee Dog,

Very interesting. I'm studing your every move, determining your tendencies, weaknesses. Ready to exploite them in the next rung..............

If only I were that good that it mattered. Actually, its scary that you can remember that much of the scenerio. I think your too young that you have such a memory.

Go Zitadelle??

[Zitadelle]

Hey DL, you wanted my view? Here it is; also complete with excessive detail (not bad for a 35 year old).

By the way, study hard. The way the second scenario is going, I won't be advancing to the next round (0-2 in my first tourney, that is not something to brag about...).

[Zitadelle]

It is time to present the German view of Blind Man’s Bluff for Zitadelle vs. Yankee Dog.

Overall conditions: It is a foggy night in the pines. Visibility is limited to 20 meters. The terrain is relatively flat- with a few minor slopes that can offer some cover. The woods are broken up by open areas- that should probably be avoided until enemy contact is made; ideally catch the enemy in the open.

Available Forces: German forces consist of a Company CO, three platoons of Fallschirmjager and two sharpshooters. Unfortunately, the company heavy weapons platoon is unavailable. Mortars would be nearly useless in these conditions (except for harassing fire), but the MG42s would be desirable. The three platoons are deployed equally across the woods, but out of range of each other to provide support.

Objectives: The primary objective is to exit all available forces. To meet this objective, Zitadelle identifies two options: move the forces to one flank and try to sneak around, or go up the center hoping for an ambush. Either option also requires moving the three platoons closer in order to provide support. Being the honorable sort, I decide on the ambush- hell it would be more fun anyway. Initially, the plan is to keep the sharpshooters in position and hiding.

Plan meets the Enemy: As the saying goes: “plans rarely survive contact with the enemy.” Within the first turn, the sharpshooter on the right flank had made contact with the enemy as a squad(?) was passing on his right. By turn2, he was dead. However, the carnage caused by this one unit was dramatic. In the second turn, he allowed the squad to pass on his right. Soon after, a second squad passed on his far left, and a third and fourth appeared directly in front of his position. The sharpshooter allowed the enemy to close with 15m and then opened fire. He immediately pinned one squad, and the second rushed his position. Meanwhile, the first two squads doubled back to provide support. In the end, the sharpshooter was killed, but two squads(?) were eliminated in front of his position- most probably due to friendly fire. Also, one of the other squads had taken casualties.

By the third turn the second sharpshooter (located on the left) had made contact with the enemy as well. That sharpshooter waited an additional turn, and then backtracked along the enemy’s path in order to provide future support for the advancing company. Note: this was a mistake. This sharpshooter had already completed his mission by providing intelligence. I should have simply withdrawn him, but I got cocky- especially after the success of the first sharpshooter. Later, the second sharpshooter would be wasted in the big firefight- rather than being exited for points.

Meanwhile the platoons were advancing on a point that had been identified as a possible ambush site. It was in front of the position where the first sharpshooter had made contact. To improve firepower, the half squads were combined back into a full squad for each platoon. I considered the additional firepower to be more of an advantage than the additional recon.

Also, the Company HQ was allowed to join the center platoon; the plan was for the center platoon to provide protection. Bad idea. I should have kept it back for future rallying efforts. As it was, the unit was quickly lost in the major firefight when the center platoon was pulled into combat.

So, two lessons so far: use sharpshooters for intelligence, unless a firing opportunity presents itself (and the unit knows when that occurs), and protect the Company HQ.

Third lesson: Germans cannot throw grenades. At the anticipated point, indeed contact was made and the firefight enraged. Unfortunately, one of his platoons appeared on my right flank and was devastating. Moreover, and in line with the lesson, it was frustrating to see the Poles throw grenades directly into my positions, but German grenades would fly over the Poles and explode in the pines. I know that this is not a real lesson, but it did lead to a few baseball jokes with Yankee Dog….

Fourth lesson: balancing supports positions with the risk of friendly fire. For battles with little visibility there is a critical balance: One must keep squads/platoons close enough to provide support, but not too close that a single grenade blast affects multiple units or that units are reduced through friendly fire. I had probably moved my squads and platoons too close together for the firefight. I saw multiple cases where a Polish grenade would affect two squads. Also, I had units firing at the enemy, and hitting their comrades. I also learned the lesson that the Poles learned with the sharpshooter. At one point, I even witnessed a squad firing at its own platoon HQ. There was one casualty, but the squad, in the same turn, managed to eliminate one of his sharpshooters.

By the way, Yankee Dog, I had been following that sharpshooter for three turns, and finally an opportunity presented itself.

Fifth lesson: big firepower is nasty and even veteran units cannot take much of it. Looking at the unit information, these units have massive firepower at ranges below 50m. Casualties add up quick and units cannot stand head-to-head for more than a minute. Case in point- the German veteran cowards. At the beginning of the firefight, I moved a veteran squad up to the line of battle. The squad took one casualty and then broke. It retreated to a position deeper in the pines and hid. Meanwhile the unit’s comrades are dying in numbers, and this unit did not fire a single shot (available ammo: 35!). A couple turns later; the Poles stumbled upon this unit and eliminated it. This unit could have been helped by the Company HQ (already eliminated by this point) and perhaps exited the battlefield if I had held back the HQ. Still, I was almost glad to get this unit eliminated by the Poles- since it ran at the critical point that its firepower could have helped. Its cowardice leads to the loss of other squads.

Then, there is the story about the lucky platoon HQ. This unit was caught in the middle of right flank firefight, and was reduced to one man. Yankee Dog kept raining fire onto his position for two turns and did not eliminate the unit. The Platoon HQ then proceeded to run across the open field and was not hit by fire. Thereafter, it hid in the pines for 3 turns- making it difficult to get to the exit edge.

In the end, I managed to exit four reduced strength squads and one platoon HQ. The lucky platoon HQ spent too much time sneaking through the pines (even with a ‘Run’ order placed), and was 15m short of the exit edge when the battle ended.

Congrats to SuperTed for an excellent scenario. Also, congrats to Yankee Dog for an excellent engagement. Much as he said, this battle came down to luck.

[Toran]

Here's a bit of what I remember from Blind Man's Bluff...

It was a dark stormy night...well, foggy...dark foggy night. We crawled. We laughed. We cried. We tripe-hunted. Things moved. We shot. Things died. We died. Some of us, anyway. We waited, then shot again. We ran. Ran fast. See Germans run. Run Germans run. We made it off the map. We waited. Game over.

And somewhere out there, I think I dropped my carkeys...

[witko]

...and THATS how i got toran in mighty mouse. he couldnt get any of his cars to start...heh

[SuperTed]

The official deadline for completion of Round 1 is 1200 hours (GMT -6:00) on January 25. If you finish sooner, I won't be upset.

[YankeeDog]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by DL:

Yankee Dog,

Very interesting. I'm studing your every move, determining your tendencies, weaknesses. Ready to exploite them in the next rung..............

If only I were that good that it mattered. Actually, its scary that you can remember that much of the scenerio. I think your too young that you have such a memory.

Go Zitadelle??

<hr></blockquote>

Heh. Half of war is intelligence, half is propaganda, and half is luck. Of course, now I know that you have read my AAR for the first battle, and I can adjust tactics accordingly.

And now you know that I know that you have read my AAR for the first battle, so you can adjust tactics accordingly. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Ugh. Mind games make my head hurt. I'm going to have to recruit a minister of propaganda if I make it much further in this tourney!!

As to my memory, it's either that or I'm good at BSing.

[SuperTed]

Boing!

[BeauCoupDinkyDau]

Okay gents, here are the results of the SuperTed vs Vader's Jester side match:

After much trash talking on my part, we begain our double blind match using Gregory Mudry's Fatherland scenario. It was ranked well for PBEM and force balance at the Scenario Depot. I played Volks on D and Ted played US on attack.

Turn one started out with Ted advancing Greyhounds against a small village that I held while using area fire from two M8 howizers. The SPGs caused a great deal of damage to the builings and my strongpoints in the ville. Within a couple of turns, my forward defensive line had been badly crippled and Ted's demolition work had reduced most of the town to rubble. To make matters worse, one of my two Marader IIs was caught in a face off against one of his Greyhounds. After questionable gunnery (3 misses) from my veteren TD, his green A/C knocked it out with one shot! :mad:

Durring these operations, he used several Jeeps to scout out my flanks. They were met by my overzelious (misspelled?) Panzerschrek teams that took shots from as far as 150 to 170m! My schrek teams faired better than my TD though. They took out several of the Jeeps and a few A/Cs that Ted had been careless with. All the while Ted walks arty rounds down on my pulverized village.

Around turn 13 I think, I got my final TD caught in the open against another of his A/Cs. The match ended almost the same as the first one! :mad: :eek: The same Greyhond also took out my only AT gun a few seconds before (50mm Pak). D'OH!

I was frustraited and unsure what to do to throw Ted off-balance. With all my heavy equipment gone (2-Mararder IIs, 1-20mm Flak, and 1-50mm Pak) I decided to order a general retreat when a platoon of Shermans showed up as a reinforcement. My goal was to rob Ted of as many VPs as possable before surrendering.

The retreat opened up many fields of fire for Ted's advancing steam roller, and I decided to just surrender outright at that moment. His units had more targets to fire at than they knew what to do with. It was as if 40 machine guns opened up all at once! :eek:

The reuslts were slightly disappointing on my end. Ted scored a Tac victory with a score somewhere in the 70 range vs my 20 to 25. Looking at the battlefield showed me that I had enough units in my second line of defence to continue resisting. If my schrek teams had killed enough of those tanks (and I still had several hidden before the retreat) I may have forced a draw.

Well, it was a fun battle none the less because I got to play against an online CM vet. I learned that the past couple of years playing the very good Tac AI does not make up for playing against a skilled opponent!

Kudos Ted; it was a well deserved victory!

[YankeeDog]

bump.

[dfgardner]

After Action: Medium Rare (Eliminated "Just for Fun Games).

Well, I've been defeated now 3 times (twice in initial round; once in "just for fun" games) and it sorely rankles me. Ted, there must be something wrong with the scenarios...I can't win one .

Now for the after action of Medium Rare: THIS is THE SPOILER....

After slowly advancing His Majesty's forces to a forward hidden position overlooking the main thoroughfare, we came under intense small arms fire from enemy forces arcross the two lane highway.

Suddenly, on our right, a platoon sized element of pioneers attempted an assault. Needless to say, the "Queen's Own" made short work of the german forces, relishing in our victory.

After a short break for tea, His Majesty's forces decided to launch a counterattack, covered by smoke from our 4.2". The plan called for a feint by one platoon on our extreme right flank, to be followed by 2 platoons on the left, supported by all the MGs and Flamethrowers.

The time ticked off slowly as we waited for a good smoke cover to set.......the first 20 rounds being the signal to launch the feint, in hopes of drawing enemy forces to the wrong side of the map.

At this point, everything went wrong.

An error by our young arty spotter resulted in our remaining arty rounds being HE, instead of smoke. As Maj. Widdlesworth looked on in amazement, the planned feint on the right flank went off without a hitch, while the all too soon disipating smoke on our left provided too little cover.

However, al la Gallipoli and a sprinting Mel Gibson notwithstanding, the whistles having been blown, the planned attack by our left flank began.

Through the heroic efforts of His Majesty's forces, a foothold on the far side of the road was established. Alas, casualties were severe and could not withstand repeated german assaults.

The last surviving members surrendered to stop the merciless killing.

Moral of the Story: Don't attack across the road without lot's of smoke.

Signed:

Maj. Widdlesworth

Loser with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters.

[Ligur]

Do you get to play Medium Rare if you are dropped out of the tourney and just challenge someone else who has also lost his first two? =P Same with Down in the Valley?, eh?

[ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: Ligur ]</p>

[SuperTed]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Ligur:

Do you get to play Medium Rare if you are dropped out of the tourney and just challenge someone else who has also lost his first two? =P Same with Down in the Valley?, eh?

[ 01-07-2002: Message edited by: Ligur ]<hr></blockquote>

Ligur,

Yes for Medium Rare.

Down in the Valley is being used as a "special circumstances" scenario. So, it is currently being used as a tie-breaker for one pair of Players. It is also being used in a few instances where people disappeared after a scenario was started.

[YankeeDog]

Yep, entertainin' readin' here. Keep 'em comin!! I need something to keep me entertained until the next round!!

[SuperTed]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by YankeeDog:

Yep, entertainin' readin' here. Keep 'em comin!! I need something to keep me entertained until the next round!!<hr></blockquote>

YD,

If you're looking for entertainment, you should try "Blood & Steel."

[SuperTed]

Bo-yeah!

[YankeeDog]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by SuperTed:

YD,

If you're looking for entertainment, you should try "Blood & Steel."<hr></blockquote>

Thanks. I need something to read while I'm hanging around the airport waiting to be strip-searched. Apparently, I'm a suspicious looking character - last flight I took, my luggage was hand searched, and I was searched 3 times. I'm going to go the the airport naked next time. . .