Wallybob Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Hey, Axe I particularly liked the 'splodie Sherman thing just before the game ended! Bwahaahaaaaaaa. I will send a new setup if you wish. What good it will do you I don't know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Originally posted by Wallybob: Hey, Axe I particularly liked the 'splodie Sherman thing just before the game ended! Bwahaahaaaaaaa. I will send a new setup if you wish. What good it will do you I don't know! It won't help me grow new hair on my head, but send it nonetheless. :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Title: The North Minehead Bye-election From: Monty Python's Flying Circus Knock. Door opens. Landlady (Terry Jones): Hello, Mr and Mrs Johnson? Mr Johnson (Eric Idle): Yes, that's right. Yes. Landlady: Oh, come on in. Excuse me not shaking hands, I've just been putting a bit of lard on the cat's boils. (Door closes) Johnson: Thank you. Landlady: Oh, you must be tired. It's a long way from Coventry, isn't it? Johnson: Well, we usually reckon on five and a half hours and it took us six hours and 53 minutes, with the 25 minute stop at Frampton Cottrell to stretch our legs; and we had to wait half an hour to get onto the M5 at Droitwich. Landlady: Really? Johnson: Then there was a three mile queue just before Bridgewater on the A38. We usually come round on the B3339, you see, just before Bridgewater. Landlady: Yeah. Really? Johnson: We decided to risk it 'cause they always say they're going to widen it there. Yes, well just by the intersection there where the A372 joins up. There's plenty of room to widen it there, there's only grass verges. They could get another six feet, knock down that hospital. Then we took the coast road through Williton - we got all the Taunton traffic on the A358 from Crowcombe and Stogumber. Landlady: Well you must be dying for a cup of tea. Johnson: Well, wouldn't say no, long as it's warm and wet. Landlady: Well come on in the lounge, I'm just going to serve afternoon tea. Johnson: Very nice. Landlady: Come on in, Mr and Mrs Johnson and meet Mr and Mrs Phillips. Mr Phillips (Graham Chapman): Good afternoon. Johnson: Good afternoon. Landlady: It's their third time here; we can't keep you away, can we? And over there is Mr Hilter. (In the corner are three German generals in full Nazi uniform, poring over a map.) Hilter (Cleese with heavy German accent): Ach. Ha! Gut time, er, gut afternoon. Landlady: Oho, planning a little excursion, eh, Mr Hilter? Hilter: Ja, ja, ve haff a little... (to Palin) was ist Abweise bewegen? Bimmler (Michael Palin, also with German accent): Hiking. Hilter: Ah yes, ve make a little *hike* for Bideford. Johnson: Ah yes. Well, you'll want the A39. Oh, no, you've got the wrong map there. This is Stalingrad. You want the Ilfracombe and Barnstaple section. Hilter: Ah! Stalingrad! Ha ha ha, Heinri...Reginald, you have the wrong map here you silly old leg-before-vicket English person. Bimmler: I'm sorry mein Fuhrer, mein (cough) mein Dickie old chum. Landlady: Oh, lucky Mr Johnson pointed that out. You wouldn't have had much fun in Stalingrad, would you? Ha ha. (stony silence) I said, you wouldn't have had much fun in Stalingrad, would you? Hilter: Not much fun in Stalingrad, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted May 23, 2004 Share Posted May 23, 2004 Landlady: Well it's the North Minehead bye-election. Mr Hilter's standing as the National Bocialist candidate. He's got wonderful plans for Minehead. Johnson: Like what? Landlady: Well, for a start he wants to annex Poland. Johnson: Oh, North Minehead's Conservative, isn't it? Landlady: Well, they get a lot of people at their rallies. Johnson: Rallies? Landlady: Well, their Bocalist meetings, down at the Axis Café in Rosedale Road. Cut to a grotty Italian café. Sign above it read 'Axis Café, Italian Food a Specialty'. A figure clearly belonging to Mussolini is nailing up a sign or poster which reads: 'Vote for Hitler'. He looks around and goes into the café furtively. At this moment past the café come Hitler, Von Ribbentrop and Himmler on bikes. Hitler at the front shouting German through a megaphone. Von Ribbentrop at the back with a large banner 'Hilter for a better Meinhead'. Himmler in the middle with an old grammophone playing 'Deutschland Über Alles'. Cut to Hitler ranting in German on a balcony with Himmler at his side. Beneath them is a Nazi flag. Hitler: I am not a racialist, but, und this is a big but, we in the National Bocialist Party believe das Überleben muss gestammen sein mit der schneaky Armstrong-Jones. Historische Taunton ist Volkermeinig von Meinhead. Himmler:(stepping forward) Mr Hitler, Hilter, he says that historically Taunton is a part of Minehead already. Shot of a yokel looking disbelievingly at balcony. Von Ribbentrop appears behind. Von Ribbentrop: He's right, do you know that? Meanwhile back on the balcony. Hitler: (very exited) Und Bridgwater ist die letzte Fühlung das wir haben in Somerset! Over this we hear loud applause and 'Sieg Heils'. The yokel, who is not applauding, turns round rather surprised to see whence cometh the applause. He sees Von Ribbentrop operating a grammophone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallybob Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 New thread started, unless you are a PENGuin. If so, please continue to drivel here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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