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Brooding over stale ale, cheery ants and moldy waffles


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Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

Some times you media fags print interesting stuff.

Oh....my....gawd!!! I was literally in tears laughing with that line.

My financee Paula came in and said, "What is so funny?" I showed her and she said, "That's a compliment?" I said, "Bigger than you could know."

She threw up her hands and said, "I'll never understand that maggot/TNT humor or whatever you guys call it!"

Priceless!

In other news, Shosties4th and I have started to engage at 1.4 kilometres. Result? Russian optics suck. Grrrrr!! :mad: :mad: I will have my revenge.

Dave is probably trying to reorganize after my Romulans beamed directly in front of his troops much to their displeasure and/or consternation.

Mike_the_amnesiac is displaying his split personality. Threaten setup. Explicitly ask for a game. Ignore all follow-up posts accepting said challenge. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Same goes for Soggycornflakes.

Thoughts are with Jim and his family in their difficult time. :(

Paula and I just crossed the last 't' and dotted the last 'i' on our new home stuff. Construction starts in the next month or so. Wedding date -- Sept. 13. Honeymoon in Quebec City followed by closing date of Oct. 15.

Stay tuned. I'm in the midst of writing a "What if?" story along the lines of, "What if we invited The Brood over for a house party?"

Some names will be changed to protect the illiterate.

Jas :mad: n

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Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

DSL provider has been buggy for the last 24 hours. If I owe ya a turn send me an email.

You don't owe me a turn, but you owe me a rematch so bring on the your wooosey molten tnt magnets you will surely tout as a fighting force!

</font>

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Originally posted by Axe2121:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

Some times you media fags print interesting stuff.

Oh....my....gawd!!! I was literally in tears laughing with that line.

My financee Paula came in and said, "What is so funny?" I showed her and she said, "That's a compliment?" I said, "Bigger than you could know."

She threw up her hands and said, "I'll never understand that maggot/TNT humor or whatever you guys call it!"

Priceless!

Paula and I just crossed the last 't' and dotted the last 'i' on our new home stuff. Construction starts in the next month or so. Wedding date -- Sept. 13. Honeymoon in Quebec City followed by closing date of Oct. 15.

Stay tuned. I'm in the midst of writing a "What if?" story along the lines of, "What if we invited The Brood over for a house party?"

Some names will be changed to protect the illiterate.

Jas :mad: n </font>

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Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

Nooooo!!!! :mad: mike the wino you're not my daddy!!! Thats impossible !!! maggot !!! :mad:

Oh yes, do you want me to go back and find what the score was in my magnificent, all-consuming, TNT-filled, un-feckin-believable victory? You maggot. :mad: :mad:

If I remember correctly it was 87(me) - 13(you, loser maggot). I believe that qualifies me as your daddy.

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The following maggots have MAIL in their inboxes. :mad: :mad:

Dave H still thinks he can win. He will learn. But thanks for your kind words though !

Shosties4th will make an assault on my flags sooner rather than later. I have to watch out, otherwise this could end up ugly.

mike_the_wino is raining fiery TNT on my poor troops in the forest. Wish I had über-Finns instead of Rooskies. They rule in woods.

Keke is about to attack my position. My troops are prepared. This will not prove a victorious battle for his Rooskies.

I really hate Snarker's kitties on steroids. I've already lost three tanks, withouy claiming any of his.

Should I lose to Axe2121 in the scenario created by Soddball , I will blame the latter for not giving me reinforcements. And besides, this scenario is flawed. ;)

Who else ? Anyone unmentioned ? I guess not. Remember to thank your postmen for their valuable work. Otherwise... :mad: :mad: :mad:

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snarker I hope that you have water-proofed your cardboard box so that it doesn't collapse in the rain. The only rain we have here is a constant bombardment of UV rays pelting my burned husk. Two weekends of solid labor. Since one was a holiday weekend, and I took an extra day off, that means 6 solid days of labor to transform my weed-infested rock pile into the making of lush(you know what I am talking about), green outdoor wonderland. I knew there was a reason I don't do this crap for a living.

Soddball get on the stick boy and send my turn.

Looks like MaggotWoodhead has come down with a case of "I-am-losing-so-terribly-bad-that-I-won't-send-turns-itis". As predicted his hapless OT-34 Flaming homo tank bust into flames. But one off-the-mark shot before my Panther on the hill slipped in for the side shot. That's 2 SU-152s, a captured Stug, an OT-34, and one M17 for 2 FT HTs. That'll teach ya to recon with armour when the big Kitties are out. :mad:

Prinz Eugen's failed attempt to capture MY has left him sulking in hollow by his flag. Think I will pop over there later in order to brighten his day. A coupla of burning T-34 should brighten things up.

"Car Wars" is under way versus Slave H. Some of my choices were, um, how shall I put this...less than ideal while others were...hmmm, "loose interpretations of the rules". I don't know why he brings out the gameyest part of me...oh yea, now I remember...he challenged me to a game. :mad:

Teddy has not been heard from in near a fortnight. I wonder if Customs discovered a large cache of goat-porn upon his attempt to return home and has detained him as a terrorist? :confused: One can only hope.

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Originally posted by mike_the_wino:

...some drivel about how hard he works. Yeah, we believe you. :rolleyes:

"Car Wars" is under way versus Slave H. Some of my choices were, um, how shall I put this...less than ideal while others were...hmmm, "loose interpretations of the rules". I don't know why he brings out the gameyest part of me...oh yea, now I remember...he challenged me to a game. :mad:

I bring out the gamiest part of you because you are 99 and 44/100ths percent gamey. There's no other part of you to bring out. At least after all of these threads and two completed PBEMs thats the way it looks to me. tongue.gif

In totally unrelated news, Keke's Finns and Axe's Romanians are feeling some real TNT chucking. Paddington and MasterGoodale (the maggot) are both MIA, again, so what else is new? _UXcva is administering a severe whipping to my Russians, who may decide to take a powder at any moment. WallyBob continues to fire laser-guided depleted uranium rounds, while my T-34s reply with ping-pong balls or something equally useless.

Prinz Eugen can still only look at the far-off Russian train station and wonder how he'll get there. Maybe he can sneak his Germans across the killing zones by disguising them as mailmen. Yeah, that might work! Last and certainly least, Mike Stalin's Kiwi Organ has me playing a scenario where I start out with lots of German trucks, and he starts with a KV already shooting at lots of German trucks. Sounds like something mike_the_perpetual_whiner dreamed up. :D:D

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Contestants: mike_the_whatever and me.

Battle: Car Wars - choose armored cars and halftracks only, with maximum guns of 20 mm or less. He has unrestricted Axis, I have unrestricted Allied.

Turn: #1

Result: At the beginning of turn 1 my ACs and halftracks had already spotted an Axis - are you all ready for this - SELF PROPELLED GUN !! :eek:

I really do bring out his gamey side, don't I? :D:D

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Dave, I'm sure it's just towing an armored car or some such... MTW wouldn't do that to you... :D

MTW is beating me silly while my tankers do the dink-dink dance of death. For all their accuracy and bravery, I would have been better served by Polish lancers...

Keke owns me. 'Nuff said.

MGA owes me. 'Nuff said. Ditto Soddoff. So does Pee Ewe, but adjusting to night shift is tough. Getting blown to shreds doesn't help.

Robohn and I go 'round in circles. His circle includes much more armor, however. Me, I'm slumming it with the grunts.

Ever notice the turn frequency is inversely proportional to the whipping your opponent is getting / giving? :mad: :mad:

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Morning muppets, I'm back.

Unfortunately, as Mikey so correctly surmised, complications at customs delayed my re-entry to good old Blighty.

I tried to explain to the nice man with the Marigolds that the goat porn I'd collected for Soddball had high artistic merit and that the exotic cigarettes were to ease my little chum's medical condition, but sadly the moustachioed official wasn't having any of it.

The experience was certainly interesting, but I can't understand why Snarker would want to pay for it.

Turns out when I can bring myself to sit down again and switch on the PC.

Chin chin,

Teddy

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Soddball, I wish you and mike_the_waffle would get your relationship straightened out. He says you're his daddy. You say he is your wife. This confusion creates all kinds of Oedipal problems for the rest of us. We could all need years of therapy from thinking about the possible relationships between you two. Ick! :eek: :rolleyes: :mad:

MasterGoodale (you maggot), are you planning on sending another turn now that we're into June? Have you chucked all your TNT and now lost interest in the battle - again? :mad: Or has your poor daughter, forced to share her home with your pet molds and ants, thrown up on your computer again? :mad:

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Fellow lunatics of the Cheery Waffle threads, we are facing a serious problem. One of our number, a Canuck by the name of Axe2121, is approaching his wedding day very soon. I say it would be a gesture of our friendship for Axe and his extremely lovely and clearly open-minded fiance Paula for us to send a wedding present to the happy soon-to-be Mr. and Ms. Axe. I'd like to make a couple of suggestions, just to get the ball rolling.

A pound of Canadian bacon.

A Second City TV video or DVD.

A case of Molson, the beer that made Canada famous.

A hockey puck.

A US $10 bill, which is probably worth about $1,000 Canadian.

An axe, with their names engraved on the blade.

Lets get with it, people. One of our own is facing a life-changing event, and I'm sure we all want to be there by his side, laughing at him. :D:D

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Originally posted by Mike_the_wino:As far as the marriage/ honeymoon goes...WTF? You convince the fair maiden to shack up with likes of you and all you can do is take her to feckin CANADA?!?!? Are you afraid that if you take her out of the country she will discover that moose-humping is not a socially accepted practice around the world? And you are even going to the more "French" part of Canada...ugh!
Convince? Brainwash/hypnotize is more like it. [deep soothing voice]You like me. You want to live with me. You want to marry me. When I count to three, you'll wake up...one,two....[/deep soothing voice]

As for the Quebec City part, I'm a bit of a nut about the Seven Year's War and actually have an ancestor on my maternal grandmother's side who fought with Montcalm against that fop Wolfe on the Plains of Abraham. A Jesuit priest in our family who did the research at the turn of the century actually had access to the guy's diary. Here's an excerpt run through Babelfish:

"June 26, 1759 -- GRARARAGGGAAARARGAA!!!! Those stinking maggot-infested Brits won't stop chucking TNT at us from the St. Lawrence!!! I swear by all that is unholy they will pay for this outrage!!!

June 30, 1759 -- AGRGARAGGGAAA!! Those invading feces-lipped lobster backs were driven back by our forces. Their TNT chucking skills are no match for Montcalm's, the grandest TNT chucker of them all!!!

Sept. 14 --- GRAGARAAA!!! The outrage!! The humiliation!!! The maggots have used the gamiest of tactics to climb the cliffs and invade where we did not expect them to!! Montcalm met them on the field of battle and was cut down by furious TNT!!! I fled for the woods and am now surviving on puddle water and grubs!!! As soon as that maggot Wolfe gets his forces setup, we will have yet another quick battle!! GRAGARAAAAGARAR!!!"

Actually I do have entries from his diary at my parents' house and would post them here if anyone is interested.

Mike_the_wino has yet to respond to my setup. The callouses on his hands must be preventing him from sending turns. The weak-kneed, soft maggot. :mad: :mad:

Snarker: Need a hand with that driveway? I'll be right over! Bwahahahahaha!!! I am done my AAR and will try to get it posted posthaste.

Prinz Losen is doing just that. He continues to cower in the woods. In the rain. Alone. *a tear* :(

Shosties4th is wasting copious amounts of TNT from about 100 PZIVs to panic a single flamethrower team caught out in the open. He was so distracted he didn't notice the 45mm Pak. Awww, too bad. I continue to eat up flags like MasterGoodale eats mold.

Speaking of which... :rolleyes: Our resident lunatic has gone AWOL for three days. Any bets on the excuse this time? I would guess an infestation of asps and/or scorpians. He's running out of excuses for his cowardice.

Dave H has started overcompensating for his previous angry outbursts at my Romanians. His last three e-mail subject lines: "Romanians are good; I love Romanians; Go, Romanians, go." This translucent attempt at flattery will not go unpunished. His Hetzer is about to get air-conditioning at no extra charge.

Soddball -- send me a setup you bloody fool.

Posse out,

Jas :mad: n

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Originally posted by Dave H:

A pound of Canadian bacon.

What, are you trying to kill me?

A Second City TV video or DVD.
Ah, poor John Candy, one of the funniest men who ever lived. I ate breakfast next to Eugene Levy's family at Fran's, a now defunct diner-style chain. As I recall, he didn't really eat that funny.

A case of Molson, the beer that made Canada famous.
Again, are you trying to kill me? Death by skunk piss.

A hockey puck.
I dislike hockey.

A US $10 bill, which is probably worth about $1,000 Canadian.
Hey, the loonie is now worth 73 cents, I'll have you know. There was a time in my father's life when it was worth more than the greenback!

An axe, with their names engraved on the blade.

That would be too cool! Chopping wood is good for the soul.

In the end, the best presents I could get are constant PBEM turns and more laughs.

Oh, and somebody to force Goodale at gunpoint to actually play the game once in awhile instead of just talking about it. :mad:

Jas :mad: n

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I vote for a bloody axe engraved with "GAGGARGRAAGRAGRAGRAGRAGRGRAAGRAGRGRAGRGG!!!"on the blade maggots!! :mad: It has to have been used for at least one Kraut kill!! :mad:

A good "splitch!!" to the foreskull will set anyone straight! :mad: :mad:

As my daddy always use to say - "How would you like a fu**in oar upside the skull!!??" :mad:

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Originally posted by MasterGoodale:

...

As my daddy always use to say - "How would you like a fu**in oar upside the skull!!??" :mad:

I think your daddy has a lot of explaining to do. :eek:

Did he also teach you how not to send turns for weeks at a time? :confused:

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Originally posted by MasterGoodale:

As my daddy always use to say - "How would you like a fu**in oar upside the skull!!??" :mad:

This explains sooooo much. :eek: And I will wager a bet he broke more than one oar on that wooden melon you call a head. Not that it did any good. :mad:

As far as Assmonkey#1 I really like the axe idea...are we gonna flip to see who "delivers" it straight into his sloping, neanderthal forehead?

Turns out to Dave H, snarker, and Prinz Eugen. Feeling under the weather so Soddball will have to wait until my nap is over.

BTW, that "self-propelled gun" Dave H was afraid of ain't the gamey bit. It was a flak wagon that works no more. Gameyness forthcoming. :D

[ June 02, 2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: mike_the_wino ]

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