Gaylord Focker Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Do you all go to bed when the street lights come on or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: And so the ill-fated Aussie expedition turns back in utter defeat, without a shot being fired. It was a classic example of deception and cunning. Having infiltrated the enemy's "high" command, the ever-valiant Sir Lars managed to convince the Aussie's to launch thier underwhelming offensive (this is in addition to the Aussie's normal offensiveness). The ingenious plot of Boo Radley to replace their ship's compass with a drawing compass was a complete success. And finally Sir Lurkur lured the Aussies into their radioactive destination with his adaptation of the old Hansel and Gretel ploy. After landing confused and bewildered, the Aussies underwent a command shakeup with Mace replacing AussieJeff as leader. Embolded by his sudden sobriety, Mace renamed his unit (not that unit!) to: Down Under Militia Brigade-Auxiliary Services Section Blimey! Tha lack of any flamin' command and control function within the Ninnies Of the Northern Cesspool Extremis Stupidius brigade has allowed 'em ta be hornswoggled by tha false name change! Time ta show our bonzer Secret Weapons! Oi! Ha! Jimmy, Little d' they know thatta a new, more powerful battleforce 's been secretly formed under their very pongy noses to assault their insensibilities and worse. Oi give ya *shhh* ... The roight Royal Battalion Of Greater Geriatric Supreme Surfers United Cause Kitty Said-so. *phew* a mouthfull, ta be sure ta be sure. Thus encumbered with a NEW, MORE POWERFUL unit name, the right Royal BOGGSSUCKS flotilla shuns the free ride offerd by the Little Tramp steamer and instead moves secretively and furtively, paddling like possessed men, bypassing a series of spectacular landmasses and dumbasses who wave to them from the Florida coastline just north of Muraroa, At All. Soon, they enter the Khyber Canal on the outter skirts of Ohio. The taskforce disem-barks like the cunning seadog-men they are and crawl on their bellies toward the shambling ruins of Casa Boo. Sir AJ BOGSSUCKS Brigadier Armoured Division Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: Do you all go to bed when the street lights come on or something? Flock orf ya' NONG!!! We's all sittin' 'ere WATCHIN' YA' AREN'T WE? Stone th' flamin' crows... This is tha AUSSIE THEME THREAD! so's ya' gotta talk tha ruddy lingo mate, or ya a dead dingoe's donger.. Strewth! [ March 22, 2003, 11:32 PM: Message edited by: AUSSIEJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by AUSSIEJEFF: Thus encumbered with a NEW, MORE POWERFUL unit name, the right Royal BOGGSSUCKS flotilla shuns the free ride offerd by the Little Tramp steamer and instead moves secretively and furtively, paddling like possessed men, bypassing a series of spectacular landmasses and dumbasses who wave to them from the Florida coastline just north of Muraroa, At All. Soon, they enter the Khyber Canal on the outter skirts of Ohio. The taskforce disem-barks like the cunning seadog-men they are and crawl on their bellies toward the shambling ruins of Casa Boo. Sir AJ BOGSSUCKS Brigadier Armoured Division A sharp sickening smell . A plot of ground about six meters square ,where strange bulbous plants are growing.Centipedes are crawling among limestone rocks and from under a rock protrudes the head of a huge centipede. I arm myself with a cutlass and someone I can't see clearly picks up a piece of firewood. I kick the rock over but the centipede digs deeper and I can see that it is huge ,perhaps three ,two metres long Boo . He says something He's talking with the whole body .It giving me a funny feeling. SPLAT!! Smell of black powder ,smoke ,beans and tomatoes.. Sir konrad Faithful Squire To SIR AUSSIEJEFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 On board a Coast Guard Cutter patrolling the entrance to the Mississippi Delta: "Sir, I'm picking up a funny noise on sonar, bearing 045, moving into the Delta" "What kind of noise, Seaman?" "Well sir....I would say.....well sir...." "Out with it man!" "Well sir, it's.... Sheep! ". Eight Hours later: "Why wasn't this reported immediately!", Boggs was furious. "Well, you know, we were awaiting...uh... confirmation." "Where is the track now?" "On the Ohio River along the Ohio, Kentucky border." With a flash of insight Boggs knew!! The evil Aussies were after Boo Radley , and he knew why. They were after the one thing that Aussies prized above all things. The one thing that they were prohibited from having. The one thing that could give them some small token of self-respect and pride. The one thing that would allow them to walk erect. Yes, they were after: SPATS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: Yes, they were after: SPATS! "The BOGGSSUCKS Taskforce moves eerily into the shadow of Casa Boo, whispering mysterious coded military commands such as "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie - OI!OI!OI! at the top of their lungs *coff*. Brave Sir Lenakonrad stops chewing on the mangled squishy remains of a giant Booticuss Radlenticus centipede, no doubt left in the tomato patch as a dastardly Boo-by trap for the unwary. "Good on yer' mate!" barks Major General Sir Aussiejeff. Goanna's ghostly form slithers off into the "Casa of Evil" to search out dimwitted pray. Noba spies a sickening trophy from a recent Nobbit hunt, snatches it of the wall and hides it in his deeeeeeep trench coat pockets with a gutteral "Muhahahaha!" Then, all of a sudden - "Gotcha, you bewdy!!" yells New Australian, Berls in his best cross-over accent as he discovers a box of shiny, pristine white OHIOAN MKIV SPATS outside the door to Boo's den of iniquity. On hearing of this prized discovery, the rest of the BOGGSSUCKS Commandos dive scrum-like into the fray - rucking, kicking, biting, scratching each others eyes out and having a damned good sniff - at the thought of stealing all of Boo's only item of value in the whole world. For like DRACULA without blood, what is SPATULA without ... err ... SPATS! Hurriedly, the Motley Crew of BOGGSSUCKS don their SPATS and traipse out into the dank and gloomy OHIOAN gloamin' and begin a-roamin'. The retreating sounds of laughter and "Get a brown furry dog up ya'" uttered in a slightly strange Oddstraylian accent whisper down the wind... Casa Boo is an empty shell again, and for a reason not entirely yet known, the Arch Justicar Joe and Ubergnome squirm and sweat in bed, hard pressed to sleep - the faint imagined sounds of a many-spatted army approaching .... " This startling true account is an excerpt from "The Biography Of Major General Sir Aussiejeff - Second In Command Right Royal BOGGSSUCKS Commandos, 2nd Edition" alternatively titled "How Australia Won The Great Cess War And Liberated Ohio In The Process". Courtesy Platapuss Print<BIG> <small>[ March 23, 2003, 02:26 AM: Message edited by: AUSSIEJEFF ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike_the_wino Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Have a brown, furry dog up ya Hmmm, I think not. I really don't think that's my style. But I do have a couple of questions: 1) Is mcgivney dead or MIA? I met up with the wanker in this thread as Vadr was attempting to teach the little troll all about the internet and how to lose at CMBB. Did that episode scar the young lad and make him scamper off? Not surprising. 2) Is lenakonrad dead? I only ask because I see posts but no turns. Stop jerking your gerkin and get back to working. Or in this case GAMING. Send a turn you turd. Thanks to all and forgive my trespass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest konrad Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by mike_the_wino: 2) Is lenakonrad dead? I only ask because I see posts but no turns. Stop jerking your gerkin and get back to working. Or in this case GAMING. Send a turn you turd. Another centipede.. SLAT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 With his new work Modern Major General rocketing up the Best Seller Charts (up 6 slots to an all-time high of #63), the Australian fantasy writer AussieJeff reflected on his new found fame. "I originally tried chimpanzees, but found their random typing skills would sometimes even confuse ME, so I decided to take a page from my love life and 'Go it alone'". The results have been astounding, by Aussie standards. His first attempt was The Smeller's the Feller and Other Witty Sayings which did fairly well in Australia, but AussieJeff wanted international recognition. Determined to be "as famous as General Blamey", he began writing fantasy novels. To stir his creative juices he traveled to Canada to experience first hand many of the situations in his classic I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay. "I almost got arrested when I attempted to discover how the Mounties got their name. It apparently had nothing whatsoever to do with sheep." Now he has hit his stride. Fluent in four languages (Aussie, American, Pirate, and Italic) his vast experience with language is sure to ensure his continued suckcess. As to his future plans, he remains noncommital, "I intend to have a few brews, put my shrimp on a Barbie, and relax for a few days". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Well, that's certainly a cute litle play you boys are writing. Just what kind of mushrooms were those on that pizza you all consumed before bed time? Are there any more acts to this tragedy and when can we hope to see the whole thing performed live? Preferably by finger puppets or miniature poodles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Would you look at that another World Cup, this is getting to easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 In honor of Boo Radley After the match, the losing coach from India was interviewed. "What happened, they took such a huge lead, you never really had a chance did you?" "I will protest this to the International Cricket Federation, the Aussies violated every rule of decorum in the book! We were unable to concentrate, as our performance shows. That kind of distraction is clearly illegal" "You mean the last minute uniform change?" "Of course, they came out wearing: Spats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McPeng and the loverly McAllison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McGnome McCage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McBerli feeling at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Old McJoe the McJusticar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McBoo and McMace spy some sheep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McDalem the McHippy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McMoriarty the McFireman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McDonkey *McHonk* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I'm going McCrazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McJimmy forgot his kilt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 McSpeedy before the men in the white coats took him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I'm just going to McHunker down and McHide for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Originally posted by PondScum: I'm just going to McHunker down and McHide for a while. Oh McPondscum.........McGot You! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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