abridged scripts

[russellmz]

parodies of saving private ryan and thin red line.

(some cursing and two offending comments about war veterans, u have been warned):

http://ter.air0day.com/thinredline.html

http://ter.air0day.com/savingprivateryan.html

------------------

"They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush

"They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

[dNorwood]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

parodies of saving private ryan and thin red line.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

these were excellent - they hit BOTH nails right on the head.

Thanks for posting them.

[109 Gustav]

If any people on this forum think SPR is a dumb movie, check out the original screenplay. (the real one, not the parody) It's kind of a cross between SPR and the worst western movie you ever saw.

------------------

Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat.

But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown.

And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing.

-Commercial fishing in Kodiak, Alaska

[PawBroon]

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

By Rod Hilton

FADE IN:

EXT. A GRAVEYARD - DAY

An OLD MAN stands in front a grave, among the hundreds of

them in the graveyard. He begins crying in a moment sure

to manipulate the audience into crying.

EXT. BEACH - DAY

Hundreds upon hundreds of SOLDIERS storm onto the beach.

Evil GERMANS are waiting, shooting at them all. All of

them DIE. The few who don't die happen to be TOM HANKS

and his MISFIT CREW of soldiers who will help him.

TOM HANKS

There goes half of the extras.

Bombs and explosives are going off, and limbs are flying

across the screen.

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

War is hell.

SENILE WAR VETERANS IN

AUDIENCE

Wow. This is realistic.

(crying)

I remember this so well. All of that

mayhem..

GEN-X MEMBERS OF AUDIENCE

I thought this movie was supposed to

be really violent.

INT. SOME OFFICE - DAY

GENERAL

We need to save Private Ryan.

EXT. FIELDS - DAY

TOM HANKS and his CREW have been assigned to saving

Private Ryan. They walk through a field. Suddenly, EVIL

GERMANS ambush them.

EVIL GERMANS

Har har! We are Germans and we are

faceless and extremely evil villians!

Just like in Schindler's List and

Indiana Jones.

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

I do NOT have issues, damn it.

A battle ensues, in which limbs fly across the screen and

blood covers every peice of matter available. All of the

EVIL GERMANS die, and one member of HANK'S CREW dies. He

is the character played by the least famous actor in the

crew.

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

War is hell.

EXT. SOMEWHERE ELSE - DAY

The above scene repeats itself in various locations until

only a few members of the CREW remain or until FAKE BLOOD

gets a new tax placed on it.

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

War is hell!

EXT. A BRIDGE - DAY

TOM HANKS

We are looking for Private Ryan.

MATT DAMON

I am him.

TOM HANKS

Your brothers are dead. You can go

home.

MATT DAMON

Despite being totally crushed by the

deaths of three of my family members,

I will stay here and fight this

battle, as I owe it to my country.

(looking at camera)

I am an American. And I OWE THIS TO MY

COUNTRY!

TOM HANKS

Then I shall help you fight.

TOM HANKS and what's left of his CREW plus DAMON and the

crew he is with all fight more EVIL GERMANS, who are more

heavily armed. Everyone is KILLED, except for MATT DAMON.

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

War is hell.

EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY

OLD MAN, who, by process of elimination, is MATT DAMON,

begins crying some more.

OLD MAN

(looking at camera)

I hope I have been a good man. For,

you see, all of those people died to

protect me.

(looking directly at you)

PEOPLE WENT TO WAR AND DIED TO PROTECT

ME AND MY FREEDOM!

DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG

In case you stupider audience members

don't get it, a lot of people died for

your freedom, and this is what they

had to go through, and you REALLY owe

them.

The OLD MAN solutes the grave. It is very SURPRISING and

NOT CLICHE. Another LIMB flies across the screen.

END

[PawBroon]

THE THIN RED LINE: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

By David Faulkner

FADE IN:

EXT. JUNGLE

Shot of leaves. Trees. A LIZARD. Birds. More trees.

More leaves. Birds. Lizards. Etc.

AUDIENCE

Wasn't this on PBS last night?

EXT. PEACEFUL NATIVE VILLAGE

JIM CAVIEZEL is AWOL (whatever that stands for) and

hanging around with native people. It is very PEACEFUL

and PLEASANT, even though they are PRIMITIVE. This is

contrasted later with VIOLENT, UNPLEASANT, but supposedly

CIVILIZED people fighting their war.

JIM CAVIEZEL

I sure do like it here. This

symbolizes the existential

metaphysical being of the essence of

the human condition...

A big sinister American ship shows up. JIM CAVIEZEL is

taken on board.

INT. SHIP

The ship is very lifeless, claustraphobic, and sinister

seeming. This is a sharp contrast from the wonderful

natural world outside.

SEAN PENN

You were AWOL again. Guess I'll make

you a medic.

JIM CAVIEZEL

A medic, symbolizing my role as a

healer within this horror of warfare,

the dualistic nature of the...

SEAN PENN

Shut up.

EXT. SHIP

JOHN TRAVOLTA

(with a silly looking)

mustache)

Wanna join the Church of Scientology?

NICK NOLTE

Uh, no thanks. Oh, by the way, I'm a

fanatical war-loving type of guy.

JOHN TRAVOLTA

(not so subtly)

Some people in wars do stupid things

to try to increase their prestige and

stab people in the back. I wonder if

that is a foreshadowing. Oh, I'm only

in this movie briefly as an awkward

cameo.

EXT. JUNGLE

More trees and jungles. A simple native man looking for

food walks by as the scared ****less American soldiers

march through the jungle.

DIRECTOR TERRENCE MALICK

It's symbolic!

Soldiers find a mutilated American soldier.

NICK NOLTE

Damn Japs. Let's go shoot some of

those yellow Nazi-loving evil squinty-

eyed Japanese so they make TVs and

Walkmans instead of trying to take

over half the world. Har har har.

A battle starts. JAPANESE SOLDIERS shoot at AMERICAN

SOLDIERS. NICK NOLTE stays a safe distance away.

NICK NOLTE

(into radio)

Go lose your life with a frontal

assault on their base, even though

you're outnumbered and being

slaughtered, but I want to be a big

war hero.

ELIAS KOTEAS

(through radio)

No, they'll all die.

NICK NOLTE

Who cares, ****ing coward. God bless

America.

AMERICAN SOLDIERS kill JAPANESE SOLDIERS in a bunker,

take some captive. JAPANESE captives are all half-

starved boys, trembling and praying in terror.

DIRECTOR TERRENCE MALICK

See! They're not really faceless evil

monsters!

STEVEN SPIELBERG

Damn you, people might compare that to

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, where the EVIL

GERMANS were just faceless EVIL NAZI

enemies. Then again, people are

idiots, so they probably won't.

Battle is over. AMERICANS beat crap out of JAPANESE

prisoners, pull out their teeth, torture them, etc.

JIM CAVIEZEL

War is bad, takes away people's

humanity, the essence of their lives,

ripped away, their souls torn as the

very fabric of consciousness is torn

with a barbaric blood lust, the

transcendent flow of their being

rippled across the jagged terrain of

the symbolic human struggle...

JIM CAVIEZEL goes back to the native village, where he

sees people arguing, children fighting, and a child dying

from disease.

DIRECTOR TERRENCE MALICK

You see, we idealize even nature, but

in reality, there is no such thing as

a perfect place. Get it?

AUDIENCE

Duh...huh...what?

BEN CHAPLIN daydreams about fondling his wife.

BEN CHAPLIN

My wife sure is hot, I can't wait till

this war is over so I can go back and

**** her. That's the only thing

giving me hope to keep on going.

BEN CHAPLIN gets a letter from his WIFE, saying she fell

in love with another man and wants a divorce.

BEN CHAPLIN

Aww ****.

Suddenly, hordes of JAPANESE attack. People DIE. It is

very SAD. The LIZARD that was shown in the beginning is

DEAD.

DIRECTOR TERRENCE MALICK

Get it? Isn't this deep and

meaningful?

TEENAGE BOYS IN AUDIENCE

What the ****'s he talkin' ‘bout, yo?

Let's see some Japanese ass get

kicked, otherwise they'll never become

pacifists and just make consumer

electronics, like my crappy SONY

PLAYSTATION and my NINTENDO 64 that I

waste vast amounts of time playing,

when I'm not listening to music on my

SONY DISCMAN or watching my SONY

TELEVISION.

TEENAGE GIRLS IN AUDIENCE

Where's MATT DAMON?! I thought he was

supposed to be in this! He's SO CUTE,

almost as cute as LEONARDO DICAPRIO.

WAR VETERANS IN AUDIENCE

Damn, when I was in the war, I just

remember wanting to go home alive. I

guess I should've noticed all that

symbolism and the philosophical side

to it. Now where are my dentures?

STAUNCH REPUBLICANS IN

AUDIENCE

THIS MOVIE REALLY SHOWS WHY AMERICA

RULES! USA IS THE BEST. WE HAVE THE

BEST MILITARY IN THE WORLD, NOW WE

RULE THE WORLD INSTEAD OF THOSE

JAPANESE ****ERS! I CAN'T BELIEVE

THOSE ****ING HIPPIES IN THE 60'S

DIDN'T WANT TO GO INTO ANOTHER JUNGLE

AND FIGHT MORE ASIAN PEOPLE FOR THEIR

COUNTRY! GOD BLESS THE USA, THE LAND

OF THE FREE!

CRITICS

This movie sucks, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

was much better, because it had TOM

HANKS, and WE LOVE TOM HANKS.

More leaves, trees, birds, etc.

FADE OUT:

GEORGE CLOONEY

Hey, wait, let me make my cameo before

you end!

GEORGE CLOONEY shows up for some unnecessary part tacked

on the end.

END

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Very much not WW2 related but, err, it's still war.

It's the last of those posts for you lazy bunch...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

STARSHIP TROOPERS: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

By Peter W. Horton III

FADE IN:

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

MICHAEL IRONSIDE teaches a class of FUTURISTIC STUDENTS

in their FUTURISTIC CLASSROOM with FUTURISTIC DESKS.

MICHAEL IRONSIDE

I am your hard-ass teacher. I lost my

arm in one of the many wars of our

fascist society, and because of that I

am now eligible to vote. Now, tell me

the difference between a Citizen and a

Civilian!

CASPER VAN DIEN

Sorry. I didn't read the classic

novel by Robert Heinlein that this

movie is based on.

MICHAEL IRONSIDE

You should die then, you bitch

mother****er.

EXT. OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL - DAY

CASPER VAN DIEN, DINA MEYER, DENISE RICHARDS, and NEIL

PATRICK HARRIS are all outside doing futuristic high

school things.

DINA MEYER

Hi! I show my breasts twice in this

movie.

DENISE RICHARDS

Anyway, let's all join the military.

CASPER VAN DIEN

Okay.

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

Cool.

INT. RECRUITMENT PLACE - DAY

CASPER VAN DIEN, DENISE RICHARDS, and NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

take an OATH and are sworn into MILITARY SERVICE.

RECRUITER SERGEANT

I have no legs and no right hand. So,

how did you kids do?

DENISE RICHARDS

I'm going to be a starship pilot!

CASPER VAN DIEN

I'm going into the infantry!

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

Hey, remember me? I was the star of

the hit show "Doogie Howser, M.D."!

RECRUITER SERGEANT

Holy ****--I knew you looked familiar.

Are you going to become a hardcore

futuristic soldier?

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

No, I'm a ****ing geek in this movie

too! And this was my last chance to

be cool! Instead I'm going to be a

super-intelligent mind control freak!

EXT. TRAINING CAMP - DAY

EVERYONE goes through the roughest, most bad-ass BOOT

CAMP anyone has ever seen in any SCIENCE FICTION WAR

MOVIE.

CASPER VAN DIEN

Sir, yes, sir! Move out in pairs of

quadruple squads, left flank to the

middle side rear, moonwalk on the

triple!

JAKE BUSEY

Har, Casper. I'm Gary Busey's son.

I'm going to be yer bestest bud from

now on.

Let's shoot pool and drink beer

together and take ****s together, like

bestest buds in the military do.

DINA MEYER

Hi, I'm back--I joined the military

too! I promise I'll show my breasts

soon.

They go through more TRAINING. A CO-ED SHOWER SCENE

occurs, in which most of the FEMALE CHARACTERS,

especially DINA MEYER, show their BREASTS. Meanwhile, a

race of ALIEN BUGS destroys an EARTH CITY with a METEOR,

since Earth with its futuristic, fascist, war-like

society has NO DEFENSE against slow-moving, long range

METEORS.

CASPER VAN DIEN

That meteor killed my whole ****ing

family. The Bugs are bad, real bad.

EXT. BUG HOMEWORLD - NIGHT

A HUGE INVASION of the BUG HOMEWORLD occurs in response

to the METEOR ATTACK. MANY SOLDIERS are ripped to pieces

by SPECIAL EFFECTS and COMPUTER GENERATED BUGS.

GEORGE LUCAS

ILM actually didn't do the graphics

for this movie? No wonder the Bugs

look real!

The SOLDIERS get beat up bad by the Bugs. CASPER VAN DIEN

is WOUNDED and left behind, surrounded by many BUGS.

CASPER VAN DIEN

I'm not worried. I'm the main

character.

Meanwhile, DENISE RICHARDS is flying around in a STARSHIP

above the planet. Her ship becomes DAMAGED.

INT. FUTURISTIC HOSPITAL

CASPER VAN DIEN has been miraculously RESCUED and put

into a giant FISH TANK to heal. JAKE BUSEY and DINA

MEYER come to see him.

DINA MEYER

You're going to live to see my breasts

again.

JAKE BUSEY

I'm yer buddy. When you get out,

let's find our old Drill Sergeant and

shove a pool stick up his ass, smear

**** on him, and flush him down a

toilet. Har. That's some funny ****.

INT. BARRACKS - DAY

JAKE BUSEY, DINA MEYER and CASPER are transferred to a

NEW UNIT. The UNIT not only includes the only BLACK

CHARACTERS in the movie, but is also led by MICHAEL

IRONSIDE.

MICHAEL IRONSIDE

I bet you didn't expect that ****,

because I had no left arm in the other

scene. But I have a mechanical arm

now, see? And if you don't fight I'll

kill you myself, you bitch

mother****ers.

EXT. DESERT PLANET - DAY

MICHAEL IRONSIDE, CASPER, and DINA MEYER and JAKE BUSEY

kill Bugs together, alongside the other faceless

TROOPERS. They kill bugs dead, like RAID. A whole bunch

of people DIE, because that's what happens to people in a

WAR MOVIE.

MICHAEL IRONSIDE

One of my important people was just

killed, Casper. Even though I have

other soldiers in this unit who are

probably more experienced than you,

I'm going to promote you.

CASPER VAN DIEN

Okay.

MICHAEL IRONSIDE throws a VICTORY PARTY for his TROOPERS.

CASPER VAN DIEN and DINA MEYER have a SEX SCENE during

the party, and she shows her BREASTS.

Suddenly, DINA MEYER is stabbed through her BREASTS by a

BUG and DIES. MICHAEL IRONSIDE has his balls ripped off

by BUGS and CASPER VAN DIEN shoots him out of PITY.

CASPER and the rest of the SOLDIERS are eventually

rescued by DENISE RICHARDS who happened to be flying

above the planet in her STARSHIP.

DENISE RICHARDS

I'm a pilot!

INT. STARBASE - NIGHT

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

I'm a high-ranking officer now. I

need you to go back down to that

planet where all that gruesome ****

happened and capture a Brain Bug.

CASPER VAN DIEN

Sir, yes, sir!

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

By the way, I'm hardcore now. War

does that to people. They put make-up

under my eyes to make me look tough,

and gave me this Nazi uniform. See

how tough I look?

CASPER VAN DIEN

Sir, yes, sir!

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

Also, you're promoted again. I have

to go write all this down in my

computerized diary now.

EXT. DESERT PLANET - DAY

CASPER and his TROOPERS try to capture a BRAIN BUG.

Meanwhile DENISE RICHARDS is flying above the planet in

her STARSHIP. Her ship gets DESTROYED, she crash lands

inside a huge CAVE, and is captured by the BRAIN BUG,

which is IRONIC.

BRAIN BUG

I'm going to suck out your brains,

because, ****, I'm a Brain Bug, and it

makes sense for me to do that.

Suddenly, CASPER VAN DIEN and JAKE BUSEY appear inside

the CAVE. They save DENISE RICHARDS and capture the BRAIN

BUG. They piss on it and then JAKE BUSEY shoves a pool

stick up the BRAIN BUG's ASS. They tie a ROPE around it

and FLUSH it down a TOILET, then pull it back out. Then

they bring it to NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, who is waiting

outside with thousands of TROOPERS. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

uses his skills as a genius TV doctor to examine the

BRAIN BUG.

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

It's scared ****less. Now we know how

to defeat the Bugs.

CASPER VAN DIEN

So I guess in the next few scenes will

show us going around killing off all

the remaining Bugs, pissing on them

and shoving pool sticks up their

asses?

DIRECTOR PAUL VERHOEVEN

**** no, we're almost out of film, you

bitch mother****er. So the movie is

going to end abruptly, without any

real resolution. We'll just throw up

a text screen with some bull**** on it

about eventually winning the war...

because, ****, I directed ROBOCOP.

CASPER VAN DIEN

Sir, yes, sir!

JAKE BUSEY

Har, that's some funny ****.

END

------------------

"PawBroon: Clinically Insane, also Clinically French, which is very bad as well."

Croda

[russellmz]

cripes, starship troopers was so bad it became entertaining watching the fools die...

i have ranted for pages on this subject i other posts so i'll spare u the rant and summarize my findings:

denise richards: bad starry eyed stare acting

only character i liked gets killed

casper van dien went to harvard, even with crappy grades

the mobile infantry gets around on foot. no tanks to squash bugs. no air support. no orbital bombardment to destroy anti ship bug butt guns.

at the end people are happy despite their horrid wounds and the fact that some of their friends died about three minutes earlier.

at least it bombed...no sequel!

------------------

"They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush

"They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

[Guest Madmatt]

The computer animated show was cool (Rico's Roughnecks), but I am not sure they will ever finish the series. It was supposed to be 40 episodes or so with 5 major campaigns covered with 8 episodes per campaign concluding with a full Klendathu assault.

The dozen or so that I saw were awesome. Pretty mature for a show scheduled during a *kids show* time slot and was closer to the book (they wore real powered armor with different variants) then the movie.

If you are into Powered Armor then I would recommend the book ARMOR by John Steakley, one of my favorite fiction books ever.

Madmatt

------------------

If it's in Combat Mission, it's on Combat Mission HQ!

Combat Mission HQ

CMHQ-Annex, The Alternative side of Combat Mission and home of the CMMC

CMHQ-Annex

Host of the Combat Mission WebRing

[Mord]

I'm not quite sure how to respond to these. I did find them funny but at the same time they piss me off. I understand that these are parodies but even then a person's views can shine through. And this guy sounds like some kinda AntiAmerican hippy ass. I don't recall WWII as a warmongering act of American agression as this jerkoff seems to think it was. I could go on for a very long time but I am not going to. I will spare myself and the rest of you guys the anger I am feeling. Hopefully I missed the point and this was not taking shots at my country just the movies themselves.

And there is nothing uncool about being a patriot. I am a longhaired metalhead, who chased many chicks, drank many beers and saw many bands. Not exactly the wet dream image of the all american boy but I am still a patriot and I love my country as many of you on here love yours.

Mord

[Mord]

Just so you can see where I am comming from on this I want to give you an example of something a teenager at my old job said one night. It is a long the same lines as having a bad view point of the US during wartime

she says: "We should never have been involved in WWII all the Americans did were rape and kill. They raped all kinds of women in France. They should ban war."

My jaw hit the floor twice. This was such a stupid and idiotic statemnet that even the teenage busboys were dumbfounded by this moronic girl.

I said something like "You never took the fact into consideration that world domination was the reason we were fighting? If we hadn't entered that war most likely we'd be goose stepping right now and eating sushi by the boat load"

I went on and on and so did the bus boys and I finally think she realized how stupid she sounded.

Is this what they are teaching our kids in school now a days? WWII was nothing more than a reason to rape French chicks and kill some people? Jeeeeeez!

Sorry about the rant fellas I am getting carried away.... and all this cause of a movie script.

Mord

[russellmz]

hehe i think the two POV's were different for the abridged scripts and the dumb-ss chick, er, i mean, mistaken girl.

probably the girl mixed up wwii and vietnam(i wouldn't be surprised) but how she knew the french were involved in wwii astounds me given her obvious state of intelligence.

the abridged movie script guy i think just thought thought vietnam was a bad idea. (plus he makes fun of republicans, always a plus in my book!) the making fun of american jingoism is not cause of anti-americanism but making fun of the bit heavy handed patriotic parts of SPR.

meanwhile the thin red line parody made fun of malick's nature imagery and "trans existential" thoughts in the movie's soldiers.

starship troopers...well, i spilled enough bile in their direction.

------------------

"They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush

"They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mord:

If we hadn't entered that war most likely we'd be goose stepping right now and eating sushi by the boat load<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

While I can see the point about goose stepping (only funny when John Cleese does it), what's wrong with Sushi? Hmmmm, Sushi... And a nice cold Sapporo Burakku Raberu

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-01-2000).]

[Daveman]

Starship Troopers... what a disappointment. The only female character (Denise Richards) I wanted to see take her top off didn't.

------------------

"Whenever a mission ends and I still have a member of the red team standing, I have to ask myself: did I do enough to ensure my own safety?" - Old Man Murray review on SWAT3

[Pham911]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

she says: "We should never have been involved in WWII all the Americans did were rape and kill. They raped all kinds of women in France. They should ban war."

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can understand the rape comments as being just ignorant. But...

They should ban war?

And how would they enforce this ban?

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pham911:

They should ban war?

And how would they enforce this ban?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

They'd shoot you?

------------------

Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-01-2000).]

[Maj. Bosco]

I thought he was a little rough on SPR but those other two peices of crap deserve it. When I left the movie theater after Thin Red Line I said "Wow, that's two hours of my life I'll never get back" and just because it was two hours wasted on artsy crap doesn't make it any better than having wasted a similar amount of time on Starship Troopers. Russel was right when he said that they should have had tanks to squash dumb bug things. I'll go beyond that. They should have had frigging machine guns. They didn't need tanks. Machine guns would have done it. Not stupid futuristic machine guns either. German WWII MG42's would have done the job fine. Dumb bug things run at dug in defenders, dug in defenders mow dumb bug things a la WWI. End of story there. In fact, why the hell did they even need troopers on the planet? They've mastered interstellar travel I'm sure they can grab a nice big asteroid, say about the size of mars, and slam it into that planet fast enough to kill everything on or in said planet. Oh well.. that's enough ranting.

Wait, no, a little more ranting. Never watch Battlefield Earth or Wing Commander. They're bad. Very bad. They're after-I-watched-(Battlefield Earth/Wing Commander)-Starship-Troopers-seemed-excellent-by-comparison bad.

Oh, and on a different note Armor, by John Steakley, is one of the best science fiction novels I've ever read. Not the best science or best tactics you'll ever see in a SciFi novel, but it is incredibly well written.

[russellmz]

they got scripts for those too!

http://ter.air0day.com/wingcommander.html

http://ter.air0day.com/battlefield.html

http://ter.air0day.com/archives.html

even if a movie is bad, at least we can read the abridged scripts and realize we're not alone in hating them...

------------------

"They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush

"They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

[Guest Offwhite]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy:

They'd shoot you?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not to mention... who are "they"?