Kobal2

Besides, military-wise, we'd smash Zee Geurmans anytime. Mainly by surprise. I mean, our main aircraft carrier can't get out of port if there's a single gust of wind, and it's aircrafts can't dust off because it's too short for them. Now THAT's a strategical surprise. EDIT : Hmmm...no, not exactly. I don't think any of us would go as far as to think of that right-wing dumbo Alliot-Marie (or is that Chirac's wife ? I can't quite tell.) as a woman...but sh..he...IT might fool grunts enough. [ May 29, 2004, 07:03 PM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

I'm half-Alsacien. We don't care about "Zee Geurmans". We'll always buy them out with white wine and storks and anything shiny. And I'm also half-Auvergnat. Which means, we'll always kick their arses of our Massif Central. Ever wondered why they stopped halfways during that little 41-44 stint of theirs ? Auvergne, sod. Auvergne is the answer. No one would assault a place where you're always under threat of being blundgeonned to death with dried pigs entrails. Mind you, even with all those hick ancestries I consider myself 100% Parisian - ancestry is all very well, but it's just not *who* you are. If all else fails... we'll send in the "Chôlie Matames". You should know, your Kraut ancestors *must* have told you about "Parisse bedides fâmmes". And believe me, your ancestors never minded the armpit hair. Which might tell you something about "Zee Geurmans".

OK, first, of course it's not true. It's just something women tell men to comfort them in their abnomalies and weaknesses, as anybody who knows the woman soul like the average Frenchman does would know. But then again, you're part of that inferior, ignorant, macho and self-worth persuaded crowd that calls themselves Americans, and that the more magnanimous among us call "putains de Ricains" (mind you, the rest of us use harsher words). Was worth a try, wasn't it ? To top that, you *do* know that in France, calling anyone "Mon ami" when you haven't know him for at least 15 years is an implicit declaration of "One of my relatives and/or accomplices is right behind you and is preparing to stab your kidneys and steal your wallet as I speak", don't you ? That or "Have you ever heard of this wonderfull set of encyclopaedias I offer you FOR FREE if you'll only sign this receipt and buy this 25.509$ origami car ?" In other words, in France, anybody who utters the words is shot on sight. Just like McDonald's people. This might just be a Grand Declaration of War, you uncouth kulak.

Haven't you ever heard the saying "size doesn't matter, it's how you use it" ?

Could any of you social cases tell me what in Aicha's name the git is talking about ? I mean the words I understand, it's just that when put together, they don't make any sense whatsoever.

Whatever, you formaldehyde-preserved maniac. I'll be glad to explain in bright details how this little protégé of yours got away with his tail between his legs (is that an english expression ? Attempt at litteral translation here. My teachers would probably burn me at the stake for this.). Why, nothing is sweeter than first hand maiming, except of course watching the horrified look and tears of pain streaming across his friends' and peers' faces while you perform. PS : Lars, let me know when you've sent the setup. I've got a slight spam-and-virii problem, and am mass-deleting 40 cubic meters of spam a day, my usual method of mail gentrification being "if it's not from someone you know, and it has a file attached, napalm it". [ May 29, 2004, 02:38 PM: Message edited by: Kobal2 ]

Hmm...which means somehow you'd still relate even though I was a cross-dressing aquaphobic lemur believing he's the reincarnation of a 13th century Uzbekistani ballet dancer and hence feeding only on fossilized grubs. I don't know if I can take comfort in that. @Lars : ho ho ho, a pun or play on words, is it ? Though you do have a point, as I'll do my best to get you right (in the nadgers) not on the first stab, but maybe on the 512th. It's not all that fun if you murder people quickly. You, my lad, are about to become...geography.

Ah. So I'm being tossed about by a grandpa (future granpa, whatever.). This is great, this is just great. Why oh why couldn't I like a normal game played by normal, decent, asocial, and above all sane (or at least bearably insane, as in people who like Avril Lavigne, and as opposed to this lot of raving lunatics) 20something-years-old human beings who would understand what I'm talking about should I mention a post-1970 movie or wouldn't have Alzheimer and wear senior diapers. But nooo siree, that would be too simple, and I'm stuck in here with soon-to-be vegetables who, when not confined to a lightless padded cell with a straight jacket or two on, must look like old raisins and actually believe you're only as old as you feel. I hate loving this game.

Do not associate diarrhea with machine gun concept, do not associate diarrhea with machine gun concept, do not... DANG. It is impossible to not think about a pink hippo after all. Méthode Coué my arse.

Oh. Just that ? I was half-expecting to be asked to eat a to scale butter-made Statue of Liberty while singing the Czech national anthem, stark naked and with a 1/16° model Jagdpanzer up my...up there. Maybe you're the "globally inoffensive" type of wackos. Couldn't find Field of Screams at Der Kessel though, is it there yet or ?

We have excellent Belgian, English and German beers - why would we bother with this canned piss, especially since we also have our own european brands of awful beers - Kronenbourg, 1664, Heineken... You should definitely try those while you're here. Might dispel that "France is a land of (albeit smelly) gourmets where every dish is lined with foie gras and only served with the best wine" legend Americans treasure

I thought about that, but that would be appropriately factored in the ammo score (which is higher, too), innit ?

I knew old people were funny in the head, but this place is a nuthouse. A patronizing nuthouse, granted, but a nuthouse still. Now, I've always heard disagreeing with mental people was dangerous, at least until you've got a 500 meters headstart, sooo... Will you tell me of these QUEST and DUTIES of yours, while I step over there ?

@Joe Shaw : With all due respect, I don't think I want to be mauled into any shape whatsoever, thankyouverymuch. @Seanachai : Are you kidding ? The only good thing about *that* grandad's life what that he's got to have had one before croaking. The git even went as far as to have *me* for his grandson, and if that's not serious felony I don't know what is. I only mentioned him on account of hime being stone dead, as the guy was a horrible, horrible man, and since he had a mean streak the size of Texas I wouldn't be surprised if he rose up from him tomb just to piss me off and deny that whole sentence. In fact, I don't want to take that chance. Please replace all mentions of Grampaw with something else, possibly a small gerbil. It should amount to the same thing, taunt-wise. Ack, bugger all this for a lark. Will you, or will you not face me, you old crone, you ? Mind you, I wouldn't be surprised if you won't, shaking with fear and apprehension of the undignified defeat I'm about to bring to you. Scornfull yes, but not surprised. After all, who would not hesitate when given the choice to either quake helpless in some deep damp mudhole, or have their grandchildren up to the seventh generation having to wear protective padding on their backside the shape of my boot if they ever want to sit down, and being ridiculed by every other monkey in the zoo for how their ancestor was trashed about by that newb' back in the old days of '04 ?

More sugar in fruit than in godforsaken barley, innit ? Means more alcohol after fermen...fairmen...rotting. I mean, we don't go for the obvious stuff. Anything that doesn't make you blind and/or cackling mad by merely smelling its fumes is downright outlawed around these part.

Being of Irish descent does not make you Irish, my beef-without-cabbage-or-even-potatoes gulping fri...man (the fact that French eau-de-vie would make the whiskey-quaffing folk quiver in fear and shame notwithstanding). Hence, you *will* refrain from using Irish folk stuff when adressing the matter of my dead Granpaw'. And believe me, shillelagh law is all the rage in France too, especially when there is a significant heritage at stakes. 'Sides, since Grampaw' Kobal2's been dead for ten years, a wake is totally out of question. But he's buried on high ground, so he should be safe from you, except of course if you bring a 40 planes air-raid plus a full division of arty against his coffin - in which case it would be a 40:60 chance for him I guess.

Hot damn. You know, I never even thought about "it's just a short for GER-mans" ? I've always thought of it as an "alternative" term, rather than a shortening nickname. Yes, I'm stoopid. So ?

Since we're at slang, I've always wonderer why you guys called the Germans "Jerry". Now, we French have called them many names (as is fit when you've been occupied for 4 years...). In the beginning of the war, we called them "boche", because that's what the 1914-18 vets were calling them, but the word had an "old timer" ring to it, so we began to call them "Fritz", which in turn degenerated to "Frisés" and then "Fridolins", but the most used name must have been "Schleus". This word in itself is kind of a mystery : the shleus were, as I understand it, some kind of desert tribe from North Africa, but then again the word itself, in its French phonetics, carries so much scorn and hate, it's now wonder why it sticked... I know why the Tommies were called like that (FYI, it's because when they applied to service, the British soldiers had to fill and sign an identification chart, name, adress etc..., and the example chart they were all given bore the name "Tommy Atkins") , but Jerry ?

Worth-proving act, eh ? Why, I'd thought bearing with your lot without being paid handsomly or under the influence was proof enough. But Seanachai since you sound like a decent person (and by "decent" I of course mean "By gods man, I'd never be caught dead in that bloke's company !"), *and* since it would obviously be against your rules to defy you, you'll be my target for the time being. That's the French for you : either we don't understand rules, or we don't give a Chirac's ass about them (In the words of Pratchett, "Rules are meant for you to think about them before you break them"). But mostly it's the not understanding thing, of course. So, to the challenge part... *clears throat* Have at thee, fiend ! That was bad, wasn't it ? Ok, once more. Mister, let me declare here, before witnesses, that you Americans couldn't beat even my dead Grandpa on a sunny day. As for *you*, Seanachai, why, you could send a full armor-reinforced company (well, those tin-cans you call armor, and that a 1918 Char Renault could blow away to smithereens) of your so-called soldiers my way, I'd still charge them with a bayonet in each hand and firing a Chatellerault from by teeth, (Of course, you old by-the-book paper soldier would have thought it would be best the other way round. But that's INNOVATIVE GENIUS and SUPRISE TACTICS for you.) and rout them all the way back to Arkansas or Utah or whatever other circle of Hell they came from. Or, in a more classical way, Je vais vous donner un petit coup charmant. Poète ? Oui monsieur, poète, et tellement qu'en feraillant je vais, hop, à l'improvisade, vous composer une ballade. (Cyrano de Bergerac, Acte I scène IV)

Leaders definitely affect heavy MGs, maybe mortars and zooks too, but that I can't confirm, all I know is in the scenario "The worth of the PIAT" (from the Battery Commander, Batman and Cook scenario pack) I had a PIAT team within a +1 (or was it +2 ? I think it was +1) combat leader score three consecutive hits on the moving panzer's side, at 120+ meters - killing it unexpectedly (in fact, the first time the team shot I cursed at them for opening fire from so far away (I always forget those cover arcs). But then again, the combat leader bonus doesn't show up on the Unit Detail pannel, does it (which is where I saw the discrepancy, at 40 meters the MMG was something like 45-60, while the HMG was well over 170) ? I think it's only factored in the firepower as shown when you actually target the enemy, though I may be wrong.

It occured to me during my last battle that the HMGs and MMGs my schützen were using were the same : both were MG42, yet their firepower was absolutely not the same, with the HMG having triple the power of the MMG. I wondered why it was so : after all, it's still basically the same gun, so why the discrepancy ? Is it because the HMG is supposed to represent a handfull of MGs ? Or that the tripod makes it that much more precise than a soldier shoulder firing ? Or the additional crew capable of quickly changing overheated barrels instead of waiting for them to cool off ? Or just feeding ammo quicker ?

@SpitfireXI : You mean they actually *did* things after finally disappearing from the air ? I'd always assumed they'd been flogged to death once and for all on their last show or something. Would have been the logical thing to do, not to mention decent and humane.

I sometimes use half-squads for recon purposes (harder to spot for the defender, and harder to kill too), usually by taking one squad from a couple of platoons (that is, one squad per platoon, leaving the platoons with two squads and some MGs/mortars/zooks, enough to perform covering fire for the untouched platoons' assault) and I've sometimes watched them regoup into full squads when sitting and/or fighting close from each other (think 10-15 meters tops). How does this work, exactly ? I've quickly re-read the manual just to be sure, but couldn't find any reference to this, is there a fixed rule for squad merging ? Like "must spend one full turn close", or "both half-squads must originate from the same original squad" ?

I was waiting for that I'd go for the leftmost one - that ludicrous bandana combined with an even more silly skull shirt, plus the hand gesture... No really, he's got to be the worst of the bunch. Plus, I'm sure this hair can be hull-downed, for combat purposes - you know, hair recon, hair attack, close hair support, the works (and no, I'm not ashamed.)

I wouldn't want to flood the forum, having already posted twice - and believe it or not, I was hesitant to copy/paste it once already, as I hate doing that, but was, well yes, gullible enough to believe the jokers who told me I'd have a better chance by duplicating my post here - seemed odd but hey, when in Rome... Besides, I believe that between my own thread and this one, everyone must have read my prose by now... Oh, and I didn't apologize, and won't, as I feel my post, while a bit on the heavy and wordy side, is polite and justified - although that Black Books reference was obscure to say the least, and probably aggressive/insulting if you don't get it, I'll admit that. That, and I'd never apologize to someone who confuses "we" with "I".