Roxy

Hi boys, and Ladies! I redecorated my apartment today. (I don't care if you don't care.) I took all the old stuff back to Wal-Mart from whence it came two years ago. Without receipts I had some problems, but luckily the Customer Service Manager was a man. He was putty in my hands. I credit Emma with my success here, at least partially. The red was definitely the way to go. It was great fun bringing the Customer Service line to a standstill for an hour. I was a little worried about that gruff looking man trying to return the chainsaw however. It's one thing to cut in front of someone. It's quite another to make them wait an hour when they have a chainsaw in their hand. Anyway, the place looks fabulous! Lots of large mirrors now so I can admire myself. I had forgotten just how really nice I looked, especially in red. Now to some updates for you to suffer through. Grog Dorosh has sent his third setup to me in three days. Apparently he's a glutton for Combat Mission punishment. I've yet to reply. Mr Spkr is now in possession of my turn one orders file. He said he needed a few days to plot his turn one retreat....something about it being so tedious having to plot all those movement orders. Herr Oberst remains a MEANY who I will contact within 48 hours to discuss the game. Bye bye boys and Ladies. [ August 12, 2002, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Grog Dorosh must have watched the 2nd movie 100 times. It took him almost three hours to send back a file. This after a half dozen exchanges in an hour. Final score: Roxy100, Grog Dorosh 0. Yes, Herr Oberst, Grog Dorosh is now in tears. I don't see why though. After all, he did hold out twice as long as he did in the first game. Don't fret Grog Dorosh. Here, dry your eyes and I'll let you use my new water-resistant mascara by Loreal. In fact, take it home with you. You may need it after our next game too. Oh, don't worry about it. It didn't cost me much.

Grog Dorosh has demanded a rematch. I agreed, and the files have been coming fast and furious. He has the second movie in hand already. He's not doing well. Mr Spkr is still digging foxholes, or perhaps planning his retreat routes. Herr Oberst, Since I had a wonderfully delicious day shoplifting at Wal-Mart, and because your member number is so low; I've decided to let you have at least SOME say in the game parameters. I'll be in touch. BTW, just because of you I had to pick up some water resistant mascara on my shoplifting spree. This caused me to go over my stealing budget for the day. I truly despise you for this. A lady can't press her luck you know. Bye for now, you...you.... MEANY. To the Lady Y2K, I'm glad I was able to brighten your day. Thanks for the welcome. [ August 12, 2002, 03:10 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

My dear Hiram, If you would watch the Home Shopping Network on cable television you would be familiar with roxies. Roxies are small, inexpensive, simulated diamonds glued together with epoxy(a durable corrosive resistant resin) to make a 1.5-2.0 ct, multi-faceted stone of radiant beauty. I am very fond of roxies. They remind me of me, and I like that. They're fake and they're beautiful, just like me. Also, since they are not expensive I can keep my credit card fraud in the misdemeanor range. My favorite roxy is a 2 carat marquise, prong set in a 14K yellow gold band. I have earrings to match. You're welcome, Hiram

Grog Dorosh has seen the first movie and sent back a file. The final score: Roxy 100, Grog Dorosh 0. Next!! Mr Spkr has been sent his setup. I will be assaulting his wretched Fallschirmjaegers with the mighty Free French. Can you say, "VT", Mr Spkr?

Miiisteeer Speeeaaakeeer, You have been very kind to me since my debut. You wouldn't even insult me with any vigor to get a setup. I also gather you are a member of the legal profession. In light of these facts, and my chronic problems with credit card fraud and identity theft, I need all the lawyer friends I can get. You sir, shall have your setup. For FREE representation in those horrid courtrooms I often find myself in, I will even let you pick the type of game. You know, parameters and such. Just post them here. Oh, I am in possession of the full Combat Mission game. Although it was against my principles, and very difficult for me to do, I purchased the game with a valid credit card bearing my name. Someday I hope I can forgive myself for that. Herr Oberst, That was a marvelous insult! I enjoyed it immensely. I think it should be permanently recorded by Lady Persephone as an example of just how to insult a Lady In Waiting. It is in keeping with the high regard The Olde Ones and Sherriff Joe Shaw hold for any lady who chooses to dwell here. It was extremely insulting, especially to one as vain as I; but it was not crass and beneath the dignity of The One True Thread. I congratulate you, sir. You now have a choice. You may either retract your insult or accept a setup from me. If you choose the former, I will KNOW you are gentleman, and will forever refer to you as Gentleman Oberst. If you choose the latter, I will send you a lopsided setup guaranteed to insure my victory. Unlike Mr Spkr, you will NOT get any choices concerning the battle. You, after all, have insulted me. You will also have to wait a few days. I normally keep men waiting anyway; but because of your insult, I wouldn't send you a prompt setup even if you gave me your credit card number. Well, maybe I would in that case. If you don't accept a setup, I'll....I'll.....I'll cry. [sniffle....sniff] Oh how you have hurt me so. [sniffle] Lady Persephone, Thank you for stopping by to say, "Hi" to a lowly Lady In Waiting. Goanna , If I could read through my tears of sorrow and hurt inflicted upon me by Herr Oberst, I would read your post. My nose still works however, and you smell good. Thank you for cleaning up before addressing me. I must go dry my eyes now because of what that meany Herr Oberst has said about me. [ August 09, 2002, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Grog Dorosh has been sent a setup. Hopefully, he can tear himself away from his "German Artillery" thread sometime this week and return a file. We are playing "Chance Encounter" because he's already played it 27 times, and feels he might have at least a miniscule chance of getting a draw. Being the deceptive and treacherous Lady I am, I have edited the scenario substantially to ensure he doesn't have a chance in Coventry of winning. Specifically, my cute little tanks have been upgraded, and artillery added. I'm willing to send one more setup out (with the requisite edits to ensure my victory), but am not capable of issuing a proper Peng Challenge unless provoked. This is because I'm a Lady In Waiting. I may be deceptive and treacherous, but I'm not a meany. Good night, Gentlemen of The MBT

Muck, edited because I changed my mind, as is a lady's prerogative(sp?). Although your last remarks to me are sufficiently insulting to prompt a setup, it is my considered opinion that they are not in keeping with the standards of the One True Threadregarding Ladies. I do not wish to incur the wrath of The Cold Ones for "rewarding" such insults. Better safe than sorry for a newcomer. [ August 08, 2002, 09:44 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

Hi boys of The Pool! Hi Persephone! I had a perfectly horrid day today, to include breaking my best nail, so I thought I'd drop by for a much needed laugh. Skimming through, I noticed that Mike has made an attempt to insult me in hopes that I would favor him with a setup. Reread your "insult", Mike. These are things a deceptive and treacherous lady is proud of. You flatter me, and you smell good. I have no wish to harm you or your cyber-soldiers, YET. Do stop by again. I find you.....interesting. That's all I have time for right now. It seems I've been accused of fraudulent activities revolving around credit cards, AGAIN. How else am I to support my lifestyle? Mike, are you rich? Talk to you later, boys.

Now, Chimpanzee Bleeder, it's good to see you are at least thinking a bit; but that fool TB is far too forthright to be me. The poor sod couldn't begin to even contemplate the crimes I have committed, and am still committing. To accuse me of being TB is more than a little insulting. Keep it up and I will have to send you a setup. Now run along, boy, so I can devise new deceptions and treachery in peace. ...and next time clean yourself up a bit before you address a lady.

Now that Joe Shaw has clarified his position, and my nails are done, and nose powdered; I'm once again fit for public consumption. Athkala, My dear sweet pitiful little boy. Does your mum know you sniff rats? Do you realize the danger inherent in even hinting that I, Roxanne the Deceptive should be associated with rats in any way? I can have you drawn and quartered if I choose. Such are the powers of treachery, deception, and stunning beauty. How dare you suggest for one second that I received forgiveness from The Olde Onesand that formerly meany Sherriff Joe just because I am a woman! I would not accept forgiveness if that were the case. I would banish myself to Coventry instead. Now where's that cute geekygrog M. Dorosh? No matter, I will send him a setup as instructed. [ August 07, 2002, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

It took me too long to post that latest. Let me catch up here.

[serious, well mostly] If I understand Joe Shaw's reaction to the Roxy apology posted above correctly, there are actually two votes for Roxy to live on as a Lady In Waiting to the One True Thread, among those who received personal apologies. If Seanachai feels the same way, then Roxy will live on in the MBT! If Roxy does get the opportunity to live on, maybe she can add a little to the Mutha Beautifulsimply because of her hidden identity. It certainly won't be because of her wit. Only The Olde Ones,Lady Persephone, and Sherriff Shaw will know the identity of Roxy, unless they see fit to reveal it. The rest of you can enjoy speculating if you're at all interested. You know, something like Watergate and Deep Throat. BTW, Deep Throat was Al Haig. Dorosh, the Lady In Waiting is currently in limbo so your setup from her is also in limbo. When Roxy hears from Seanachai, and IF she hears the right thing, Roxy will send you a setup. Until then, there is no Roxy, just a numbnut who will now tell you to SOD OFF as far and as fast as possible. Roxy of course won't talk to you that way. You were to be her first, afterall. Joe, If I misunderstood your post, please correct me so Roxy doesn't get her hopes up.

I'm sorry guys, but: [sERIOUS] I learned a great deal about the Cesspool over the last 36 hours or so. It has a wonderful history, well preserved. The people are marvelous beyond the wildest imaginations of the outer boarders (and formerly myself) for so many reasons I don't have time to list them. There is no place like The Pool on the net. I doubt there will be anything comparable to The Pool in my lifetime. I credit this almost uncanny creation mainly to the The Olde Ones and perhaps Sherriff Joe Shaw; but I know there are others who have contributed significantly over the years to the personality of The Pool. Again, too many to list in the short time I have here, but I have been reading. I stand in complete awe of you guys, and what you have created here. My newly discovered knowledge of The One True Thread has caused me extreme consternation, and a sleepless night, for Roxy is a fraud. What began as a spur of the moment little joke, I let get way out of hand. I offer no excuses for my behaviour other than I did not understand the MBT as well as I thought I did. I had too much time on my hands, and exhibited poor judgment. I became somewhat obsessed with infiltrating the MBT as Roxy. The only way I can purge this horrible feeling I have is to come clean and apologize from the bottom of my heart. Personal apologies will be sent to the following members of the MBT within 24 hours: 1) First and foremost is the honorable Seanachai for reasons he will understand. 2) Joe Shaw, because his feelings for the MBT run very deep, and I caused him some hypertension, I'm sure. He suffered for my amusement. 3) Persephone and Berlichtingen, Far too fine a pair of human beings to be victimized by my deception. To the rest of you, please accept this post as my apology. As penance I should write every last one of you who posted in the last 36 hours a personal apology, but time does not permit. My reputation in the community will be left to the mercy of those this revelation has hurt the most, the people who will receive a personal apology. If they wish to reveal my identity so be it. I will NOT ask them not to. [/sERIOUS] Is it time for a little sing/song now?

Wow! You guys are prolific writers. I have much to address here if I may be so bold. I have a file from M. Dorosh, but he will have to wait while I tidy up this castle a bit more. Joe Shaw, I'm not sure if your apology was meant for me or Berlichtingen. I never felt I needed one from you. It's alright to be a meany when you have such noble reasons for being that way. Let me say again, the manner in which you promptly cleaned up some early posts to this thread was admirable. It was one of the main reasons I could no longer resist getting involved in this very strange and exciting place. Seanachai, So you are an Olde One. That pleases me. As you have given me the choice of "Squire" or "Lady in Waiting" to theLady Persephone, I choose the latter. "Lady in Waiting" shall be my signature. Quite a rousing post you made earlier. I suspect there is a lot of truth to it too. The "outer boards" as you say, are a bit daunting to a lady. I feel I would eventually have suffocated out there from all the attention. Too much of a good thing is...well, too much. Berlichtingen, I suspect you are an Olde One also. You seem to wield a vast amount of power here, and with an iron hand. You are the counterweight to the kind Seanachai. This is indeed a fascinating place. As for the third Olde One, I haven't a clue. Joe Shaw is not him. He's the Sherriff. Please, do tell who the third is. You seem to have contradicted (overridden?)Seanachai's ruling that I may claim the title of "Lady In Waiting". I would much prefer that to "Squire" my Lord Bellicose. As for a sponsor, I shall be happy with whomever you choose. I have unquestioning faith in your good judgment. Yeknodathon, Your produce is at the gate. Eat of it if you dare. Dalem "versilocution"-I need a better dictionary. Auf wieder sehen, my strange new friends. I will spend some time now reading more of these wondrous Pengy things. I need to educate myself. The mystery of the third Olde One must be solved. Edited because I'm not perfect, YET [ August 07, 2002, 03:00 AM: Message edited by: Roxy ]

I can't resist. Here's what you require: Roxanne Marden Jonesboro, Arkansas RoxanneMarden842@hotmail.com I see you guys are self moderating (the bad pimp joke). I'm impressed. Good job Joe Shaw and Berlichtingen; but I still think Joe is a meany. What is my status here? Do I have to be a scum sucking newbie? After all, I finally took notice of the bold font thing. Don't Ladies of the Realm (Persephone, Kitty?) have Ladies In Waiting or maidens to do their bidding? You know, something similar to the Knight/Squire thing? Being a "serfer girl" might not be too bad, but a scum sucking newbie? Is that really necessary? I humbly await an answer from the powers that be. I fancy that would be The Bloated Ones, or maybe that meany Slow Squaw. I don't suppose there is any way Lady Persephone or Seanachai could have some input on the decision? I thought not. I await my lowly assignment in the Realm with resignation and humility. Cinderella comes to mind here. Poor Cinderella, doomed to servitude, at least for awhile... (sigh)....time to start scrubbing the castle floors....(sigh)

Don't worry, guys. I won't intrude on your little club. I have located other places on the web where I can find opponents anyway. I've also got Mr. Dorosh to beat up on. It is clear Seanachai does not speak for you all. In his defense, you should realize that he wasn't the only one who encouraged me to post here. Persephone, Thank you for sticking up for me on the email, and for giving me the benefit of the doubt. Babysitting these rascals must be quite a job.

I'm sorry you smell a rat, Athkatla. I don't really know how I can help you with that at this point. I get the impression you boys play lots of jokes on each other, posing as women on this forum perhaps? I find that rather funny, if true. I suppose I'll have to prove my gender somehow in the near future. Until then, some of you will just have to smell rats.

Soddball, you should apologize to Seanachai. That was a mean thing to say to a man who appears to be a gentleman's gentleman. You're right about one thing though. I don't want to see this forum turn into an AOL chat room because of me. I love the attention, but now that Mr. Dorosh has agreed to play, my questions answered, and the ice broken; I think you guys should let this topic sink. Looking over the topics on this board, I don't think I will have much to contribute. I'm just a strategy gamer. I know very little about WWII. What I do know I learned from playing Steel Panthers. Combat Mission is just an extremely interesting strategy game to me. I'll admit I find Combat Mission fans interesting too. I suspect most of my posting will revolve around finding human opponents. I assume that abomination called the Peng Challenge is the place to do that? If so, I will post there to combat the AOL effect Soddball speaks of, and I agree with. If it wasn't for Seanachai's presence in the Peng thing, I don't think I could handle it. Seanachai, I'm counting on you to protect me in there. Really I am. Now, Mr. Dorosh, much to my surprise has the guts to play me. Check your mailbox, Mr. Dorosh; and thank you for the game. You will be my first. I will always remember you for that. I'm glad Mr. Dorosh was only kidding about the picture and measurements. Beauty really is only skin deep. I will say that I keep in shape, and could probably outrun most of you except in short distance sprints. A girl's anatomy keeps her from getting off to a quick start. Oh, and Dorosh, please respect my privacy regarding my email address for the time being. With a forum full of guys, I consider it like my phone number. I don't need any more crap in my mailbox than I already have. With that, I will now limit my posting to that ridiculous Peng thing, unless I have a question about the game requiring a serious reply. Bye, bye, for now, boys.

Well, this is really sweet. I knew I would get some attention if I revealed my gender, but this is better than I expected. I must admit I don't understand half of what some of you are talking about however. I think I'll stick with my nice free demo, and buy the Barbarella (sounds better than Barbarossa)thing when it comes out. I guess I should say a little about myself since you boys have been kind enough to answer my questions. I'm a 31 year old divorcee, hoping to get my Bachelor's Degree next June. My brother and my ex got me interested in wargames. I played oodles of Steel Panthers games with them. I just took a liking to the strategy involved. I like to play chess too, so maybe there's a connection there. Another reason I like wargames is because it's something guys do that I think I'm fairly good at. I'd rather beat men at their wargames and get treated like a queen just for playing than go shopping with the girls. I do like to shop though. Every girl does. Now to some of the comments posted above. I'm not some sort of joke somebody is playing on you boys. I can understand how that thought would occur to you though. Not many of my gender play wargames, but I know there are a few. I'll be seeking out Persephone soon to get the lowdown on you boys. Somebody asked about my email address. I will make that public soon enough, when I feel comfortable here. Michael Dorosh can't spell 'testicles' correctly. There is more I would like to say to him, but it would be against the rules I just read to do so. I thank the rest of you for being gentlemen and scolding him. I am a lady, not a chickadeewhatever. I conduct myself as a lady would, and I expect to be treated like a lady. Being a lady has some real advantages. Gloria Steinem is a misguided foolish woman. Because of his ungentlemanly comments and attitude, Michael Dorosh will be my first human victim with the Combat Mission demo. That is, if he's man enough to take on a lady. I will play the Allies because Ike was better looking than Adolph. How about it Mr. Dorosh? Post here if you have a pair. I know you can't spell it, but you do have a couple don't you?

My, this is a busy place. The real deal must be as good as the demo I downloaded then. Should I buy Combat Mission or wait for Barbarella? I can only afford one. Why is the newer game named after an old Jane Fonda movie? BTW, Are there any lady strategy gamers here who dabble in wargames? I prefer to do battle with the guys cuz I like to win, but it's always nice to know there is another lady around. If I order tonight, how long would I have to wait?