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Patch

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Posts posted by Patch

    The Peng Challenge Thread hits rock bottom

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    DAMNIT Patch ... forgive me Milady I was overwrought ... but I MUST protest. We JUST managed to get off a page DEFILED by that idiot Abbott and his ill-mannered and ill-conceived posting habits and YOU have to RE-POST it so side scrolling is once again called for.

    I know it was likely just an oversight on your part, you are a valued and long time member of the Peng Challenge Thread, I have met you in person and broken bread with you ... not to mention Seanachai's silverware drawer ... not that you had anything to do with that beyond witnessing it ... where was I ... oh yeah, so I know in my heart of hearts that you'd NEVER willing condone side scrolling in this, the Mutha Beautiful Thread.

    May I humbly request that you redact the photo so that we can move on with the important business of the CessPool ... to wit making fun of Australians.

    Joe

    Is that better Joe?

    Make sure you spill out the Gnome's silverware drawer when you are in Minnysodaless. And if you are at Dalem's or Lar's place you must do the same there too. And I demand pictures this time!

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    The Peng Challenge Thread hits rock bottom

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Abbott:

    It was a long cold winter but spring finally arrived. The past few weeks the ole' homestead has been a buzzing with activity. We found time to add a room or two and the place is becoming a regular mansion, boasting 16 rooms complete with a patio, 4 decks, a greenhouse and a fish pond! Do try and keep up!

    Missing Piccy

    This is very creative.

    [ May 25, 2008, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Patch ]

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    The Peng Challenge Thread hits rock bottom

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    Tonight, my friend Smaller Nora introduced me to a great new game. I think we should call it 'Mountain Climber/Enforcer'.

    Silly little bugger climbed into my lap, and stood there, taking my hands into hers. And laughed the sort of laugh that is normally laughed before shouting 'Igor, throw the switch!'

    Then, she put one foot onto my rather substantial stomach, and then, the other. Then she climbed up onto the shelf of my stomach, still holding my hands, and stood there, upright, laughing like a very small loon, as if to say 'Ha! Look at how tall I am, two years old as I am, on the belly of this silly old man!'

    It was tres cute.

    But then, she firmly planted one foot against my throat, and, while I was choking slightly and saying 'Nora Nu, let's get down now, honey', she put the other foot alongside it, and, still clutching my hands, she straightened out like a surfer or snow-boarder, both feet on my damn throat, at a complete right angle to my neck, and put every bit of her not inconsiderable strength into riding the wave of my ability to swallow.

    Try to imagine having a 35 pound child standing at right angles to your ability to swallow, and laughing merrily.

    Silly little bugger. I had to swing her around (vision graying a bit around the edges), and drop her down onto the couch. She did this several times. I'm still a bit hoarse.

    I bought Small Emma an Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs (from Dorling Kindersly, who make great kid's non-fiction books). Her Dad informs me that at bedtime, he has to read her a chapter of 'Bone' (a strange graphic novel), and then two pages of the new dinosaur book.

    She's a little chatterbox these days. We now watch 'Fantasia' together, and when it gets to the 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' bit with Mickey Mouse (my hated nemesis), she insists we act out the story, with her as Mickey, and me as first 'the Wizard', and then 'all the brooms'.

    Every few days, I flood their sun-porch with imaginary buckets of water, and spend a lot of time marching in place.

    Funny story!
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    Once Upon A Peng Challenge

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    Bah! I'm back.

    Saturday is Smaller Nora's Second Birthday Party. I will be there, of course. She has learned to say 'Grandma Steve', if I prompt her. She says 'Grammmmaaa Geeessss'.

    I'm not sure how the geese feel about this. But she hugs me about the legs, when I arrive, and about the neck, if I pick her small but vicious frame up.

    I continue to work on building that link between her and her sister Small Emma, that will allow them to attempt to completely circumvent their parents for the next 5 years (with two 5 year options to renew...and my dead father thought I wasn't ever paying attention, eh?)

    And do you lot know what? I got older. I got older a fecking week ago. And no one, not one, had the fecking ballocks to tell me:

    I hope you die, soon, Seanachai!

    I became...older...last week.

    I'll hire some immigrants to hose off the foam that arises from your attempts to explain why you didn't abuse me about it.

    Pillocks.

    Happy Birthday ÜberGnome!

    I expect a new Small Emma and Smaller Nora birthday party story.

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    A Tale Told By An Idiot: The Peng Challenge Thread Drags on Its Way To Dusty Death

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by MrPeng:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Patch:

    He said nothing about "Tales of Small Emma and Smaller Nora".

    He doesn't want to read your tale of kayaking with Peng who has a bad case of hemorroids.

    I think that would be a funny story.

    Only if Peng's inflamed butt-nodules were extra-bouyant and so prevented him from righting his kayak and he caved in his head on some underwater outcropping and a crawdad ate his brain and evolved into some sort of super-crawdad that grew ten stories high and ate freeway overpasses for dinner.

    Now that would be funny. </font>

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    A Tale Told By An Idiot: The Peng Challenge Thread Drags on Its Way To Dusty Death

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    I appeal to the folk of the Peng Challenge Thread!

    Nidan has disdained and decided that the 'Tales of Small Emma and Smaller Nora' are complete ****e. He has forsaken my narrative.

    He has decided that I have no relevance.

    He said nothing about "Tales of Small Emma and Smaller Nora".

    He doesn't want to read your tale of kayaking with Peng who has a bad case of hemorroids.

    I think that would be a funny story.

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    The Peng Challenge Thread Wants YOU... To Go Away.

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    Snow tonight, snow tomorrow.

    You're a lot of gibbering apes, each and every one.

    I want to paddle my kayak over the lakes. I want that moment that..can I describe it to you?

    I want to lay out the frame of my kayak, and put it together, piece by piece. I want to puff and blow, a bit, about sliding the frame into the skin. I want to snap down the central turnbuckle, and then put one hand on it, to make sure it doesn't pop up and catch my hand, blackening a nail, while I push to the side turnbuckles.

    I want to sit in a smooth, black and blue skin, gliding over a Minnesota lake. Down a river. This is a State of water.

    I pity you lot that will never know this kind of joy. I could try and describe it, but...why bother?

    Also, someone get me a goddamn drink.

    Hey, I have a kayak! It is kind of an orange plastic one. But it is still a kayak. I go on the fox river with it and a small nearby lake. I plan to explore more water in Illinois. And believe it or not there is water in Illinois too. Maybe not as much, but there is some.
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    The Peng Challenge Thread Wants YOU... To Go Away.

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Patch:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

    I now live under a shadow. The shadow that, soon, my friend Small Emma will no longer have any interest in Grandma Steve.

    I don't think Small Emma will tire of her Grandma Steve anytime soon.

    And even if she does....We will never tire of our Grandma Steve in here. </font>

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    Gain Power & Domination with Mojo Peng Challenge Gris-Gris

    in Combat Mission Shock Force 1

    Posted

    No, no, no! You guys are getting it all wrong. I was thinking more of a show for the whole family, where this nice old Gnome, Grandma Steve tells stories to the kiddies. And then to keep the adults interested he goes over to Dalem's house to smoke cigars and drink whiskey and sing singsongs. Then for some action there will also be those paddling excursions on Minnesota's wild rivers and streams. People can watch to see how often the Gnome tips over his kayak and gets attacked by ferocious river otters and beavers...

    stuff like that. No violence!

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