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Patch

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Posts posted by Patch

    HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

    I propose to take this vile maiden under my tutelage as a squire and send her on a quest. Yes a quest. It's a bloody good idea that is past its time here in the mire. And not an easy quest, mind you, but something a bit nasty and painful to all involved.

    If she chooses to accept, I direct Patch to collect and present three pictures:

    (?) Something involving Joe Shaw, preferably with a Mormon Wife;

    (‰) Something with Germanboy which is both insulting and at the same time holds him up as the deity he is, and;

    (£) Something with YK2 and including at least one decent sized shubbery

    Your creativity and diligence in collecting those items that make everyone (including the subjects) both laugh and cringe at the same time shall be the criteria upon which you will be judged. Successful completion of the quest will gain(?) you full status as a kanigget (how do we refer to the kanigget of the female variety anyway?) and a title.

    <hr></blockquote>

    Goanna, I humbly accept your challenge and will now proceed in this extremely difficult quest.

    Persephone

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    HO HO HO! Here comes Peng with his bag full of Challenges!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

    But, careful who you go bolding there, Mace. (wet)Patch hasn’t earned her stripes yet,<hr></blockquote>

    So, you say I haven't earned my stripes yet? I guess I will continue in my quest to desecrate the photos of every single bacteria that lives in the Cesspool. I consider all of my pictorial attacks as victories...but I am not yet finished with you, Unterlizard. Barbie-qued goanna is quite a delicacy down here...and since you live down under, you are not very far from the Underworld.

    Persephone

    [ 12-26-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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    To the last Challenge I grapple with thee. From Peng's Heart I stab at thee. Twice.

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    I allow 24 hours for this appeal and then sentence shall be proclaimed.

    <hr></blockquote>

    There is an issue that needs to be addressed before you make your final decision about Iron Chef Sakai's fate. I'm beginning to fear that our friendly gnome Seanachai has been kidnapped by an evil troll. This troll is pretending to be Seanachai but he isn't fooling me. I know Seanachai isn't capable of posting as incompassionately as he has in this recent MBT.

    I have done some research on Gnomes and have determined that Seanachai is a House Gnome. A description follows:

    The house gnome is a special sort. He resembles an ordinary gnome but he has the most knowledge of mankind. Owing to the fact that he often inhabits historic old houses, he has seen both rich and poor, and heard a great deal. He speaks and understands man’s language; gnome kings are chosen from his family. These gnomes (Farm and House) are good-natured, always ready for a lark or to tease; they are never malevolent, with a few exceptions, of course. If a gnome is really wicked -- which happens only once in a thousand -- it is due to bad genes that result from crossbreeding in faraway places.

    I really don't think it is a case of bad genes, so it must be the troll who has taken his place. Troll, I demand you confess and tell us what you did with Seanachai. Free him at once!

    Persephone

    Some interesting gnome facts:

    Gnomes are 7 times as strong as a man. (Good thing he is good natured.)

    Urine can be contained for a whole day. (Convenient for those nights out at the pub.)

    Brain capacity larger than man’s. (Explains why Seanachai's posts are the longest.)

    Hair grays very early, baldness unknown. (Well, Berli is definitely not a Gnome.)

    [ 12-21-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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    To the last Challenge I grapple with thee. From Peng's Heart I stab at thee. Twice.

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

    Berli is seen leaving the theatre, accompanied by his mate Persephone, walking with the crowd, lost in thought...

    Such a simple plan... those pillocks will never suspect a thing... the rings are simple enough for someone of my evil nature... have I not created some absolutely vile scenarios to abuse those Cesspoolers... Rings... why didn't I think of the ring thing first?

    I need some Ringwraiths... yes, some Riders to spread forth my evil... maybe the Aussies. Those outback types are supposed to be tough. Just look at Crocodile Dundee. Yes, some mounted riders to spread my Evil...

    All of the sudden, an image flashes into his mind involving Mace, bauhaus and mounting, startling him out of his reverie.

    As he rubs his temples to assuage the terrible pain caused by that image, placed there by his tormentor no doubt, Persephone glances over and sees his tortured expression.

    <hr></blockquote>

    Very entertaining story Herr Oberst...you seem to know Berli's thoughts so well...it's kind of frightening.

    Old Ones, what do you think of Sir Herr Oberst, Knight of the Court Jesters?

    Persephone

    [ 12-20-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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    To the last Challenge I grapple with thee. From Peng's Heart I stab at thee. Twice.

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

    Here is ol' hubby, former ruler of the underworld looking none too pleased with his new position in life...

    berlijester.jpg<hr></blockquote>

    Berli's been needing a new look. The jester hat is much better than the horns and red cape. Besides, he's got all of eternity to get used to it.

    Persephone

    [ 12-18-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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    To the last Challenge I grapple with thee. From Peng's Heart I stab at thee. Twice.

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer:

    Hey Persephone!

    I see you stealing some quote of mine in your sig line. Where are the royalties? I don't spread my wisdom around for FREE, ya know.

    BTW, did I really say that, or did you make it up? Makes no difference, it is truly a quote for the ages.

    <hr></blockquote>

    So, you don't remember saying that? Then I guess you don't remember getting up in front of the bar and doing the chicken dance either.

    Persephone

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    If I Said You Had a Beautiful Peng Challenge Would You Hold It Against Me?

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    AHHH!!! ........ that's better ......... the burning PAIN of their scathing wounds .. is starting to ebb from my useless, wretched, paralysed form........ Oh gee - [sigh] I forgot that I was going to give that nice father figure chap Seanachai a challenge too over Xmas ...... [choke-sob] but now that chance is gone ...... OH! but a light ...... a bright light is coming nearer ... is this Heaven? ......aahhhhh!! ..... I ...... hope the guys appreciate my parting gift and...... have a nice, white Xmas .... [gurgle][/splutter] and a [cough] Hap.p.y... N......e.......w.................Y......................."

    (transmission ends)<hr></blockquote>

    [sniff, sniff] I hope you pillocks are satisfied with what you did to poor FlossieJeff.[/sniff, sniff]

    Persephone

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    This Peng's not Challenged, He's Bleeding Demised!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

    The Dark Prince watches as Persephone drops the kerchief on our combat.

    Come, Peng. Come, and face the ÜberGnome!

    I will show you where the Peng Challenges grow!<hr></blockquote>

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

    Where are you Peng! What rock are you hiding under?<hr></blockquote>

    OK Peng! I'm getting very tired of waiting around here all day with my kerchief. It is time to face the ÜberGnome (Ooops! I mean the Little Garden Gnome)! The kerchief has officially dropped.

    Persephone

    [ 12-04-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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    This Peng's not Challenged, He's Bleeding Demised!

    in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)

    Posted

    News Flash!

    pengsloth.jpg

    A rare Giant Peng Sloth (Pengus lagavulinus) was spotted in a tree in Minneapolis. This species was thought to have been extinct for over 16 years. It has also been sighted recently in trees in Philadelphia. It doesn't seem to be a threat to humans but has been known to crawl through windows and steal the Scotch out of liquor cabinets. If you find one in your home, just give it a bottle of Scotch and it will quietly be on its way...

    [ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: Patch ]</p>

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