Lawyer

Yessss.... I want the AI to pick units for ready maps. The big problem now with QB is the limitations on creating really nice maps. Keep it going, BTS!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Leeo: Too late, for he hath gained derision to spare from the Northern hemisphere as well (Just ask Lawyer MrSpkr's Wussification is complete.<hr></blockquote> Dealing with MrSpkr is like sending your children to swim at the ocean in an undertow.

Dalem, you imbecile! Did you not see on the previous thread that I have a very rare and authentic game slot with JoeBobShaw that I'm willing to sell?? Seanachai, you've been all over this board spreading messy bits like a diarhetic dog for the past two days, but you haven't sent back a turn. Why not do something productive for a change? Sledge5937.03, you said you were "glad to meet me". Don't ever do that again. EVER. It just makes you look more like a wussy, and demeans my elevated position here in the Pool. Hate works far better to get the desired results.

Three words for Berli: MEDAL of HONOR [Edited to make the pain that much greater by bolding it so tired wasted eyes can see it on Monday morning.] [ 01-28-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Sledge59: Not being a military man, but having served 25 years as a builder of things; I chose the name Sledge to tie the two worlds together in a word. <hr></blockquote> Oooohhhh, a clever builder! What next, an HONEST builder?? I don't think so.

You can't really HATE the computer AI in CM, although you CAN get very annoyed. Therefore, I play PBEM only most of the time to be sure the HATE factor is involved. I believe this attitude and play style accurately model real WWII feelings. HATE certainly reflects my feelings toward my many PBEM opponents. Very, VERY satisfying. Also, to be truly effective, HATE must last a long time. A PBEM game easily runs two months. That's a LOT of HATE to savor. Sometimes, as with my last game with Dalem, my PBEM game runs SIX MONTHS! Unfortunately, "savor" is not the right word to express extended losing. TCP/IP HATE is too short, and therfore NOT satisfying. Just like cigars and good whiskey, HATE deserves a lingering appreciation of its best qualities. TCP is kinda like premature HATE ejaculation. Not that there's ANYTHING wrong with that. Better some than none, eh? Thus Speaketh the Law! [ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

Justicar Play Slot For Sale Well now, it seems that some esteemed (or not) persons of the Pool are clamoring for "play time" with the hard-to-nail-down Justicar Himself, the Right Honorable Joe Shaw of U-Taw. This is your lucky day! Guess what? The Lawyer has in his possession an ACTUAL CM GAME CHALLENGE from Mr. Shaw. Who wants to buy it?? Yes, it's a VERY RARE specimen, authenticated by Hisself. A slot to play the ManJoe. I procured the slot fair and square by taunting him relentlessly for two years. AND NOW I OFFER IT FOR SALE TO YOU. This is a rare chance to play BlowJoe. Just like that chance you had in high school to go out with Susie the Cheerleader, after she was dumped by all the football players who got "too much of a good thing". Yes, much sought after and thrilling to conjure up in your little excitable mind, but really a huge let-down when you actually got a chance to get "there" after half the guys in the senior class had scored. Knum sayin'? You will say to yourself today, as you said to yourself then: "Is this all there is?" Where's the excitement? But still there is always the (very) slight challenge that you can't make Susie, or even Joe, even though several have preceded you. Then there is THE FEAR. What if I can't do what they already did?? So, I offer to you a slot to go after the Justicar in a real game. A chance to test yourself to see if you are GOOD ENOUGH!! I earned the slot through hard work, and I can sell it now that I realize Susie didn't love me after all. (And I don't want to wonder again what those funny looking spots are on Mr. Happy). What bids do I hear, Lads, for the exclusive right that I earned to PLAY Joe Shaw in a real game of CM? This is Your Chance to Lance the Gassbag once and for all?? OGSF? Dalem? Hiram? Others? Get those bids in quickly, GentleJackals. They will go fast. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: Lawyer, you are a WHINER! The logo is in the Justicar's mailbox...and he will hold onto it until I have receive your certified check in the amount of $5,000. (Did you really think I would do this for free? You penny pinching pillock!) Persephone<hr></blockquote> So NOW the Lady Persephone, formerly know as Plain ole Patch chooses to mess with The Law. Well, your fancy name upgrade won't spare you from Justice at the Hands of the Law. You change the deal from returning JoeBlow to getting real money?? BAH!! A pox on you (and the hubby too). You pushed me. Now you get -- IL-2 Sturmovik WWII Flight Sim, voted best of 2001 Want more?? No? Then, deliver the goods per the original deal... Never. Never EVER mess with the Law. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

Thanks for the info. Maybe now I can play CM on my new monster machine. But GEF3 picture quality still doesn't match VooDoo 5500 AA.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: Just a quick note to inform several folks that they are approaching being named as a wuss here in this hallowed forum by the ÜberLizard for the following misdeeds: mrspkr Owes us a turn since 13 Jan in a game with only two turns left. We think he is not liking his chances and is hiding behind Hiram's couch. He wussiness is grwoing by the minute. <hr></blockquote> Been there. The next thing will be his routine infamous excuse: "I lost the file and I also forgot my password so I can't play even if you send it to me." This guy wears Pampers on his head to cover the bald spot(s), and he doesn't expect people to notice either. And MrSpkr wants to be a real attorney?? Brazen Lies as excuses are okay, but they MUST be credible to the average apple in order to get your bill paid. Patch, I checked the mailbox everyday, but the logo you promised hasn't arrived. Hell, even Joe's check will get here sooner if you don't make more effort. Remember, we can still snatch the Justicar back to the Cess Patrol page. A warning....

So Seanachai is cooking babies for dinner, and thoroughly enjoying it... How sickening in all respects. As Mace might say: Thank heaven for leetle lambs, because they grow up to be big fat sheepie girls... BTW, you haven't posted the logo, Mace. Get to work.

Nothing happening here in my absence. Why am I not surprised? Patch, we returned your Justicar unharmed, more or less. Actually, less of Joe would be more. Where is our custom-designed logo? We're reduced to using one by Mace. Don't make me have to mention the name again.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: Hell hath no fury like a Gates-slut spurned (or one who has had to reinstall XP several times on the same machine for various and sundry reasons the most important of which being XP SUCKS!!!) Gates-slut<hr></blockquote> Mr. Slut, did you get MS permission to re-install WinXP each time? Why of course you did! It's another FEATURE built into the OS. And thank you again for proving that WinXP is indeed not idiot-proofed yet. Hmmmm.... Time to add another nose dropping to that picture of Berli. Now which wizard do I use to do that.... I'll be setting up the other game today. Try to get along without me.

I LOVE WinXP. I can fly anywhere I want to go today by just spreading my arms like wings... Wow, THANK YOU Bill Gates! And thank your Slut too.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty: You say you still play the game, but are you willing to prove it? <hr></blockquote> Is this a challenge? IS THIS A CHALLENGE?? What a lame butt statement from Professor Lamebutt at the Chicago Campus of Meetoo U! Man, I'm a busy Lawyer (THE Lawyer) and you're tossing out some trite ****e to show you can post as much as Bauhaus, who seems to have some posting diaherea problem lately. At least you can flush a stinky toilet, but the Bauhaus droppings just linger here causing permanent stains. Get a life or a grip, Moriarty, and hopefully NOT on Bauhaus and his thingy. BTW, Bauhaus has a secret life that he hides from Berli by going home and playing IL-2 on a real computer. I hear Berli spends his evening trying out iCAD version 5.2 drawing strange cubical thingies for fun. To each his own....

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: And Lawyer can stop spreading his filth here too, even though we are running quite low on filth. I retained jdmorse as cesspool legal counsel (welcome back counsellor) a millennium (in cesspool years) before the best part of Lawyer was even running down the inside of his mum’s thigh. You lot of Il2ness fans can feck right off to that forum, not to be heard from here again until you realise the error of your ways by your own devices or manage to split your personalities well enough to not speak of it at all here.<hr></blockquote> Ahhh, the bleating lament of a Mac Owner, stranded on an island of supposed superiority, having a beautiful instrument with little but CM to run on it. Luckily, Steve and Charles share your island, and have taken care of the declining native population by kindly making CM compatible with the Mac-a-doo while selling vastly more copies to actual computer owners. So, Dear Lizard, you shall not be flying IL-2 or any other mainstream game, even if you would like to, because they are not compatible with your Mac lifestyle. Be a good Luddite and smash the computer crowd one more time, just to show us you still exist. Some Cesspoolers can do more than one thing at once, although following Dubya's example, we do not eat pretzels and watch TV at the same time. In fact, we have started a new, better colony in another land. We even have the de-throned and too often de-robed ex-Justicar to annoy us there. The Mad Bald One even stopped by to say hi. Our numbers grow like Biblical locusts, and we prosper while flying our fast machines. But we still play CM, and we still step on Lizards. Pillock.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: I'd need a turn from you to really evaluate that. Speaking of turns... Did I crush Lawyer into tiny little attorney bits and sweep him under the rug? Oh yeah. Did it take 6 months and 43 turns for him to see the light and surrender to me? Oh yeah. Was the scenario a) gigantic and almost unmanageable, and heavily skewed towards the Defender (yours truly)? Oh yeah. Does any of the above make my victory any less sweet? Oh no. I win, Lawyer lost, and that's the way it should be.<hr></blockquote> Dalem got a lucky shot at me on turns 5 to 43, inclusive. Just luck, that's all. Who chose "August Bank Holiday" by Franko?? I did? Nevermind. [ 01-16-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jd: ) Kind of looks like the legal profession has grown a bit thin here. <hr></blockquote> Actually, I've put on a few pounds this year, but I'm still a "whole lotta of lovin' law". Now, I see that you have decided to come in here and "spray" everything (including Bauhaus) with your "official lawyer of the Pool" nonsense. Listen up, jd, I've been the Lawyer here for quite some time in your absence (how are your compatriots doing at detox?). I've dispensed valuable advice at NO CHARGE. The only one who missed you is Hiram, which is to say nobody missed you. Most recently, I've been involved in intense negotiations to return the Justicar to his rightful place here at MBT, in return for a small remuneration from a Lady of Talent. So don't flaunt your old ways around here. What have you done for the Cesspool lately? Nada. Nothing. Zilch. You ain't the only Law in town anymore. And you certainly aren't the best. And MrSpkr will always be our Paralegal, although I wish he looked better in short skirts. Perhaps OGSF can give him some style advice. So look back over the posts during your absence, and you will see the Cesspool has been very well served by Lawyer, the Real and True Embodiment of Justice. Your pal, Jake

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: And now for the latest Cesspool News Network update: Joe Shaw, who is on a short sabbatical from his Justicar duties and The Lawyer™, have been seen flying above the Cesspool in what appears to be an aircraft of some sorts. Gawd help us! Persephone [ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Persephone ]<hr></blockquote> We have finally stopped laughing. But we are not amused. We are having our legal assistant draw up the papers so she can file the suit and prepare my briefs (hehe...) for court. Then she can lead me by the hand to the front of the court so she can make my arguments. Then, she shall smile broadly as I win the case, so she can then send out my bill for services rendered. Yes, it is a good legal system we have here in America. Now, Patch, I have laid out the terms on the IL-2 thread for the return of Joe as Justicar to the MBT. We need a good logo for our planes. You need Joe because you have now all realized that you can't just get anybody to be your gas bag. Joe wants, nay, he NEEDS to return to you here at MBT Central. But a deal is a deal. If you fail to comply with our demands, we will happily shoot him in the IL-2 forum. Stalin did it all the time, and HE won the war. So Joe Blow is our hostage. Produce or he dies! Think about it.... No more Justicar.... Ever.... [ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

Lars, your intro to the MBT (bad though the title is) was the best in many threads. My congratulations. Now tell us who thought it up. Your drunken girl/boyfriend?? I would like to like you more, but the "Gary Shandling" resemblance posted by those who have seen you puts me off. So I won't like you. Tough ****e. Dalem, drop your gun, put your hands behind your head, and kneel down. An officer will be along shortly to arrest you.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by ElGuapo: For anyone who is here, there is an AWESOME documentary about the Tiger tank on History Channel right now. Elguapo<hr></blockquote> Guapo, I expect the next we see of you will be a news headline about another "young man" who joined the Taliban or crashed into a medium-sized skyscraper because he took the wrong zit medicine. You post when the rest of us in Washington are at work. How can we see the this? Are you just trying to make us feel small? You are a git who I must smash into defeat someday, time willing. And you're too skinny too. Yer pal, Jake

I vote for Peng. Army of Gates-Slut has no ring to it, and this newly incarnated Peng just slobbers too much for my liking. My bill for providing this advice is in the mail, Y2K. You're welcome. [ 01-13-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Seanachai, So, what do you think of joe our justicar and his trolling for new SSNs? At least you limited yourself to our own good board, while he goes out to the Makin' me IL/2 forum. Sad state of affairs<hr></blockquote> IL-2 is a computer game that requires skill. If you ever get a real computer or develop any real skills, you might enjoy it. [ 01-12-2002: Message edited by: Lawyer ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hmmm, lads this one still doesn't quite GET it does he? Joe<hr></blockquote> Well, I get it, ya git. And I'm doing the Ceespool proud by putting a STOP to the new Colony of Justicar that you are attempting to establish on the IL-2 forum. Your evil ways are more prolific and smelly than a barnyard full of horny rats that tripped into the sheep honey. I was just getting ready to put the boot to your nonsense here, when now I have to start all over again in a new game. It's like playing Whack-a-JoeBob.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: All you stupid, insipid, microsludge using IBM clone scumbags that want to talk about IL2 or whatever piece of crap it is, please feel free to feck off over to that forum, lock your ankle to something firm and stay there until Berli starts singing show tunes. <hr></blockquote> You want some WinXP with that order, sir?? Biggie Size? Techie Toy for the kids?