Seanachai

Can't talk now...kayaking...

Ah do not! She is my wee, small friend. Her Ma bathes with her. Her Da' may bathe with her. But I am simply Grandma Steve, and the only thing we do together is watch cartoons, play incomprehensible child games, and, sometimes, fight with finger-puppets. I would reach right up the arse of anyone who sought to harm her, and pull their heart out and show it to them. I may be short, stout and by nature kindly, but I am as calculatingly violent as a weasel when it comes to harm befalling my friends. Especially my small friends. I maintain this standard of attitude beginning with self, and then apply it across all other lines of humanity. Hand - arse- heart - show & tell. I've never been a parent...wistful...I'm never likely to be a parent. Frankly, I think I'd be ****e at it. But I think I could be a really good Grandma Steve. You get what you make of this life. Sometimes, late at night, I take the regrets out and line them up. I used to try and match them with some supposed delight, like an antonymic form of 'Concentration'. But now, I usually just take the whole pile and throw it up in the air, å la '52-Card Emotional Pickup'. As I gather up the moments, I try not to keep score, but take each for what they are. It would comfort me to think that every moment of humiliation, self-doubt and writhing self-loathing was somehow perfectly matched by a moment of selflessness, of generosity, and bliss. I'd like my innumerable failures as a person to be matched by some kind of achievement. And that's why I no longer keep score. Sometimes the best you can do in an otherwise incompetent life is 'borrow' a joy from the people who are doing the work to deserve it. It doesn't mean that it's any less precious to you. Nor that you'd be any less repulsed and outraged by any degradation or abuse of it. I have a little friend. She's almost 3 years old. She's a daughter of the Goddess. She told me, yesterday: "Grandma Steve, I don't have my sandals on (and she stuck out her small foot). Big girls don't always have to wear their sandals. Big girls can sometimes go barefoot. I'm a big sister now, you know." It's like hearing a song that you've always known; simple, silly and beautiful. Sing, you lot of sorry bastards. Sing louder!

Choice between Seanachai and booze? While you're passing me the gin, tell me, who were we talking about? </font>

With my blessing. No pushing, there's room for everyone to get a turn. </font>

I remember that one time a friend of mine was telling someone: You know, in Australia, they have this creature that looks like someone took a rat and grew it to enormous dimensions, then stretched it in every possible direction. And I asked him, 'Are you talking about the kangaroos?' And he told me 'Oh, no, they're fine. I'm talking about the Australians.'

And I'll be in Des Moines {sigh} But NO SLACKING OFF ... I can now access the thread from virtually anywhere, anytime ... The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is EVER WATCHFUL! Joe </font>

Alrighy. but not too quickly now. A slow roast over some banked coals? </font>

Is that not what freaks do? I believe you set the wheels in motion for this trend...but this is the Cesspool after all. With one of it's guiding principals (if there is such a thing) is if you can't take the ****, stay off the pot. </font>

You should fall down on your fecking knees and offer up prayers of thanksgiving for being forgotten. After all, you're annoying as hell. I've known you for how fecking long now, and the gods know I wish you could be sponged off the face of the Universe...

What a wonderful world it would be if that was the only channel your television received. </font>

Die </font>

Been watching Firefly again? </font>

You big soppy bunny...

So...I need a name for my Kayak. All ships need a name, and, it follows, that anything being hideously paddled around by an Aquatic God is near as dammit to a ship, and it needs a name too. Also, I just like naming things. So, I was leaning towards 'Serenity'. But I think I should involve you lot of feckwits in the naming. After all, you're like the family that I'd have had to deal with if I hadn't had...well, like a 'real family'. You know, if I'd been raised in an Institution. As they say "you buy this ship, treat her proper, she'll be with you for the rest of your life"... [ June 05, 2006, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

No, 'My Canada' is...shiny. I like it.

It is not the kayak that makes me a god, it merely served as the instrument of my epiphany. You may kneel and kiss my slightly webbed toes...

Ooh, that is good news. I just bought a pellet gun. </font>

I am an Aquatic God. A horribly decrepit and disreputable god, but a god none-the-less. You may fall to worshipping me. I will post more, later, when the kayaking season has ended, or I need to come in for beer.

I have bought a Kayak. A high-tech, inflatable model for use here in the Twin Cities and surroundings. I will be testing it out on Saturday (and probably Sunday, as well). Everything looks good. But I haven't had it in the water, yet, to see how it handles and performs. But for right now: The world is my oyster. Except for the months with an 'R' in them...

Not true, Oh Joseph. Like the Catholic Church, we never speak of anyone as being an 'Ex' member. The most that is ever said is that they have 'fallen away'. In time, we know that each and every one of them will return.

I have returned from the Far North. My legs are sunburnt, and you lot are gormless idjits.

And this just in: Scientists today reported that prolonged exposure to the Dutch has been shown to result in high levels of aggression in laboratory test animals.

In other news: Hiram Sedai grows older. God is in his heaven, and all is right with the world. Happy Birthday, Hiram!

SILENCE! I have a dramatic announcement to make. This morning, my friend Small Emma was joined on this planet by her Younger Sister, my new friend Tiny Nora. Nora is small, cute, and mouse-like. So, as this is a dramatic development and will require my full attention, I have officially ended the hedonistic partying and willful chemical abuse of the 'Seanachai Birthday Celebration Month'. As of today, I will concentrate on the joyous partying and festive chemical use of the 'Tiny Nora Birthday Celebration Month'. She's very cute, and when I went to visit her tonight at the hospital, she opened her wee eyes and gave me a look that clearly said: Ah. The face before me clearly indicates that I have been born on the very eve of the Apocalypso. Yay for me.

Heh-heh, Is tha' a billabong I spy! Huzzah, Captain Happy! Trim the right rudder and fetch me another gin and other! Belgian Lambic, don't mind if I do! Hoot! I saw her first! Back again soon to converse with all you little fellers, see if I don't! the end of week two of 'Seanachai's Birthday Month'