Seanachai

I don't know when I've seen a sadder and more humiliating moment, than your coming into this thread and admitting you're impotent. After all the well-thought out put-downs, the clever rejoinders in the Peng Challenge Thread, the gritty, 'courteous but firm' posts on the General Forum, it's come down to this. Personally, I'd have sooner cut my own tongue out with a broken pilsener glass, and drowned in the aspirated blood, then come into the padded 'display' thread for a growling teenager, and admit that 'I simply can't get my hatred up anymore'. I have had my moments of doubt, and crisis, and soul-searching, but I've never just given up. But your self-humiliation has filled me with a new sense of purpose. I mean, besides that of belittling you and laughing at you. I proclaim to all that I think Colonel Deadmarsh is a complete and utter git. I know that he will take this well, and in the spirit that's intended. As soon as someone reads it to him, that is.

Ah, Redwolf. You must learn to gently 'glide' your weasel... Ignore what anyone else may have told you (Yeah, Moriarity, Ahm lookini'tyoo, Chimmae!). Here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we are all about fun. Now, Redwolf, you have such a pronouncedly....germanic approach to everything. Good God, man! Look at your posts! "I have noticed, after a number of experiments (there is not truth to any rumour that I used General Forum posters, handcuffs, and live ammo to achieve these results), that there are issues with certain aspects of the engine. And modeling. Also, with the durability of General Forum posters, which does not negate any of my other denials. The results simply do not bear out my understanding of what I understand. Beyond being troubling, this cannot be allowed. Sometimes, when it is especially stressful, I find myself using improper English sentence structure. So, I politely request that BFC review my data, and bring my happiness into alignment with the reality of combat." Where's the fun, Redwolf?! Where's the 'ho-ho, I just kicked the living ****e out of Seanachai's troops, that bastarding gnome! Now I shall do the Teutonic 'Dance of Smug Victory'! I mean, Lord Jesus using a walker, and doing a crossword puzzle, I can't remember the last time I read a post from you that didn't involve 'anomolous observed behaviours', 'unrealistic activities', and you're verging dangerously on using the word 'calipers' in other than a joking way. Redwolf, We here in the Peng Challenge Thread are concerned about you. We want to know that your dog is getting enough cheese; that your cat is murdering songbirds and small mammals in statistically significant numbers, and that you, Redwolf, yes you are having 'fun'. And not that sordid, 'It does me great honour, Herr Hauptman, while causing me great pain to report that there are discrepancies between the observed data, and the ideal that would be achieved if I was allowed a greater freedom in the number of Forum Newbies I was allowed to deploy for my tests!" Redwolf, We are not your friends. We're your enemies. And we are deeply, deeply concerned about you.

Not quite, mon ami. Why, I hate Redwolf with a passion.. deleted in the interest of not over-stimulating our more degraded visitors ...Fun? Yes, I will have my fun.... one day.</font>

Don't be ridiculous. You're a Grog, and you're a German. We couldn't be more in awe of anything you choose to go on endlessly about. I've always said, if Redwolf sneezes, BFC catches cold. However, we do routinely make fun of you personally. Mainly because you're a Grog, and a German. Still, it's all in good fun, isn't it? The jolly give and take of playful banter, the arched eyebrow of twinkling ripostes, the 'what the hell is Redwolf sodding playing at? If he's all that bloody exercised about it, why doesn't he just go with tradition and occupy the damn Sudetenland and kick the Czech's around until his demands are met?' sort of thing. [ November 22, 2002, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Actually, longwinded leige, that was just a comment about the poor South African chap and his shipping problem. And you won't be defeating anybody without cutting the blather a bit and sending a turn.</font>

This is an example of safe sex being practiced. Mace</font>

I'm a bloody prophet, I am. Oi!

Too bad I cancelled my Paypal account. I always prefer payment in wine or spirits...</font>

What the hell is this, some sort of daft, Middle-class attempt at recreating 'Uncle Remus'? Sickenin'. Simply Sickenin'. You useless Brown Bear wannabe, where were you in the Peng Challenge?

My work here is done. Let's Ride! And sod you, you sport hunting bastards! I kill the bloody animals, and I don't even eat them! I certainly don't mount them, as Lars does. Christ, the number of court cases waiting on his 'Freedom of Religion' challenge to the 'The State forbids anyone from having carnal knowledge of a dead animal' law are beyond merely legendary. They involve cousins. Winecape, you daft bugger. No need to thank me. Doubtless other Cesspoolers will stop by shortly to make your life a ribald nightmare of 'Who's On First, Where's the Wine, Then, You South African Bastard'.

Christ on a Crutch, and Smiling and Waving at the Crowd: His member number is 8787. His email address is mrnoobie@yahoo.com (from him profile). Do you absolutely need to help the Peng Challenge Thread, the Master Goodale Cheery Waffle thread, and the tumpty tumpty 'Christ, I Hate Every Thread That I Don't Approve of Thread' drive the truly significant threads (whatever the hell you conceive them to be) down the Forum to obscurity? Oh, I only post this here because you seem to be more unusually incapable than most of going out and getting the answer you need. Call it a 'pity post'. What the hell is a Rob Murray, anyways? You know, even the most egregious halfwit in the Peng Challenge Thread could've found 'Mr. Noobies' member number and email address, and asked him this question. Is everything all right at home, lad?

Sod the wine, bugger the fact that he's bloody foreign, is there nae Peng Challenge member who can help this daft South African git (who's always been rather an humourous fellow)? I'd do it meself, but I've no PayPal account, plus I'm an idjit, and I'm not a responsible individual, and I have absolutely no idea as to what's going on. Except, it seems, that the bugger needs the means to provide radio communications so that someone can kill some sort of animal...we can only hope it's not endangered. C'mon, then, lads? How many times can you just look the other way?

I swear by everything that's holy, and it's quite a lot, when you get right down to considering all the world's religions, that I posted an enlightened plea to acknowledge and help the weird South African dude. He's always spoken well of us. Well, in so far as one actually can speak well of us.

There is not much that I approve of, but I approve of this. There comes a moment in the life of every mentally disturbed pillock when he has to strike out, free of the restraints of parents, counselors, parole officers, or the BFC Forum Moderators, and express himself. Of course, if 'self-expression' takes the form of teenage girls or jack russell terriers dumped into a water-filled, abandoned quarry at night, tied-up with duct tape and etched with the Bacardi bat symbol, then it's a question for the courts, and, of course, the Republican Party explaining that the lad in question was simply a 'local volunteer', and not representative of the national constituency as a whole. I'm prepared to accept the concept that 'Master Goodale' (who in the name of all that's not half-witted wouldn't know how to pronounce this, then, eh?) is what he seems. A 'deeply bereft of intelligence', but 'long on posturing' idjit who's gotten even myself to acknowledge his daft slide into a Forum 'moment of intimacy'. Who am I to complain? I made MrPeng a household name, and every one of those households is now dysfunctional. Good on you, Master Goodale. You useless, aimless, runny-nosed little lackwit. I salute you (please don't ask how)! I'd blame Abbot for all this, but I like Abbot. I don't know why, but there you go.

Oi, you useless, language buggering bastard. You feckless, lackwitted bugger who hasn't taken the time to 'chew and swallow' his wee spaniel fast enough to get a clear sentence out in the last fourteen months, and don't think that your name hasn't been sent on to the ASPCA, you pictish pillock. You 'cow-skin pattern' kilt wearing piece o' opprobious Scottish offal. You wee willy winky 'look, if I hold my thumb along side it, and superimpose both of 'em against Mount Kilimanjaro, it looks bigger, don't it?' dagger-bereft-of-brandishing, slightly groggy guttural spitting git, I'll do you for the next time you decide to rise up on all four of your wee hooves and give me any trouble, eh? I'd gladly take a setup from you right now, but I've still got to show the Justicar to his place in History (Joe, Passant et Supine, Seanachai, Rampant), and that other idjit... Bugger, never mind, there aren't any other more pressing idjits. It's just you and the bloody Justicar. Could I see your dance-card, you 'Ah Had to Reach Roight Up, and Depack Me Wee Spaniel By Hand, Do Ya' See, Cause the Bloody Wee Blodjit Was Nae Able to Eliminate Wi'oot Help'?

Hm. Somebody in this picture makes me feel all funny inside.</font>

Why, this looks like a job for...The Peng Challenge Thread! Quick, Lassie, let's take the South African buggers request off to the Land of the Weird!

Hello, all, I'm back. I took several days vacation from...well, everything. Not the Cesspool, so much, nor even the Outerboards, nor the Game itself, but the World. So no one got turns, there has been no posting, and I left the Outerboards in a sad state where I'd irritated any number of people and called several very unkind names, and never went back to apologize in case anyone cried. Which is unlikely, even on the Outerboards. The Forum members are fairly tough, if occasionally almost magically half-witted. Happy Birthday indeed, Geier! I hope you celebrated it in proper Old Firm style. Send whatever. I've never played an Operation as I'm told they're more difficult, and complicated, and we know that my talents are limited and of a very narrow focus. Now, I've gotten caught up on the Thread. There were some parts there for quite a while that seemed to be about baking. At least, I'm pretty sure that there was a very long stretch there that was about baking. If it was not about baking, I never, ever want to know what it was about. I will shortly regale all of you poor lambs with even further thoughts, as well as actually returning turns, once I leave downtown Minneapolis and make my way back to my abode. Wait for it! You have all been much in my thoughts.

Bugger. Having wandered in here, because of Abbots name on the thread, and having abused that complete waste of human energy, ianc, I suppose I should give an actual answer to the question posed. I prefer an 800 to 1500 point (base, to the Defender) scenario, on a medium to large map. Small maps, besides being claustrophobic, impose all sorts of artificial conditions, often allowing one side to get away with actions that would have seen them handed their arse on larger maps. I'd say that my favourite is the 1250-1500 range, on a medium map. More than that, and you spend far too much time telling your opponent what a useless sodding bastard he is.

Always with the negative waves, ianc! No roster for you. No roster ever. My gods, how I hate you. I can't believe you never come into the Cesspool anymore, where I could properly spit upon you.

I loved it. Send me a setup. Don't bother to attempt any sort of balance, and cheat like the German swine you are. I don't give an f'ing toss what the game, map, sides, or conditions look like. It'll all come out right, over the next 1,000 sodding turns, just as it does in the Real World. Thank Christ we've got the patience, and the alcohol, to see things work out to my inevitable victory. Unless I lose. [ November 16, 2002, 04:18 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

No, it's not possible, at least until they put them on a DVD. CMBB fills a CD to the point where they cannot fit both the Mac and the (sodding)Windows version on the same disc anymore. And yes, it is annoying, as I attempt in this 'On the Cusp of the Century of the Fruitbat' attempt to wind down my CMBO games. Now stop whining, and be annoyed, silently, like a man.

I have to support Berli in this. From his pictures, Rune is currently modeled as the Charles Laughton of evil. Which is not so much 'evil' as 'rules bound', and treading dangeroulsy on being 'overly British'.

Peng Challenge Thread. Oh, don't worry, we always talk about you in a playful way. Ladder play. Now, more than ever, an unbelievably daft concept. In CMBO and even more so in CMBB, it's apparent to anyone with half a brain that there are so many factors that can affect the outcome, that ladder play has to be either brutally and concisely defined, or else become and exercise in 'Yah! I Beat You This Time, Wanker!" Pointless. Mind, there are some extremely good players out there, with a wonderous grasp of Real World tactics, and I would give them odds on in many situations to win, because of their superiour style of play. But I wouldn't bet money on any of them, because the only guarantee that any of even the best players has of winning is near total control of the conditions of battle: terrain, turn length, units (historical vs. gamey, and how do you define historical, and still win, eh?), etc. You're not seeing Ladder play because the ladder players aren't sure how to approach a new playing field in which 'History' may very well take a hand, and shove a sharp stick up your arse. With the advent of CMBB we're starting to see several very interesting phenomena: One: Trying to balance a scenario between players is difficult, and sometimes pointless, and occasionaly completely impossible. Two: The 'historical' nature of play is taxing the players' ability to achieve balance under any given conditions. Three: People are going to have to rediscover the horrors and joys of playing to play, rather than the over-riding 'Ladder Style' point of playing to win. Four: The AI is going to come back into it's own, because the current engine configuration permits scenario designers to set up some very wicked and historically accurate treatments that will give the human player a run for their money. Five: We've already seen a whole lot of whinging from people who learned tactics on a more forgiving game, that being CMBO. Now, as they re-learn what works, what sucks, and what will get all your dangly bits shot off in short order, we're going to see a jolly point/counterpoint lot of posturing and whinging along the nature of: This game sucks/ I can beat anyone/Hey, wait, I didn't beat everyone, this game sucks! Under CMBO, there were a number of even Big Name players who would only play a game if they could define every sodding aspect of the conditions, from the Map, to the Units that were permissable, to the tactics that were right. And, while everyone was going out of their way to avoid 'ahistorical' units, 'gamey' play, and 'unrealistic' force allotments and conditions, they missed the fact that there were people out there who were dictating to you the conditions under which they'd determined they could always win. Now, no one wants to be subjected to a one-sided game because someone chose 'Ubertanks', while the other side chose 'historically accurate forces'. Nor does anyone want to be subjected to gamey tactics or flag rushes. But there comes a point when you either cut bait or fish. And that's a point that most Ladder Players want to define. And regulate. And control. Rather unlike the realities of war, of course, which often ignore the concept of balance, and fair play, and 'will this allow me to defeat all my enemies and win the victories to which I'm entitled because of my superiour tactical ability'. Which leads us to the Eastern Front of the Great Patriotic War to Annoy All the Ladder Players. Things are no longer, you see, quite so easy. With CMBB the whole question of 'historical choice' becomes oddly moot. One can insist on a completely accurate representation of 'historical forces', terrain, and battle conditions, and pretty much tell one Player that they might as well put a gun in their mouth while singing the French National Anthem. Or you can work like a dog to balance play between two sides, and have any number of people mock your efforts because the scenario has strayed into the realm of Science Fiction. So, I imagine we're not hearing a lot from the 'Ladder Players' because they haven't come up with a formula for winning this game. Or even a clue as to what that formula might be. Because the game, like History, like Real War, is messy. And awkward. And stupid. And doesn't represent infantry properly, because they're too brittle and get tired too soon. And doesn't accurately represent this thing, or that thing, which I've always taken as a sodding given, and now it's not. Don't get me wrong. There are probably, even definitely, things that need tweaking, adjusting, and re-defining within the current game. And they will be. But the biggest contribution to the 'Silence of the Ladders' is the fact that game play, like War, has once again become messy and difficult. Which is why I tend to look at my record over a large history of games played, against a large number of people (or, at least, Cesspoolers), under a massive variation of conditions to determine whether I'm advancing, stuck, or stupid. Just like Commanders had to do in those weird real wars. What's the line? The General who makes the last mistake is the one who loses? Of course, Ladder Players work on the concept that the General who makes the last mistake in defining the conditions of the game is the one who loses. It's tough, avoiding people buying weird, unrealistic units, setting up unreasonable conditions, and worthless maps. It's probably even tougher, given the 'sea change' in the game, to make sure you can arrive at the conditions that will guarantee your victory. After all, the greatest tacticians in the world couldn't be defeated by a lot of primitives with clubs. No, wait! The Germans lost! But why weren't the Soviets in Berlin in early 1943? No, wait, the Germans almost won! Ladder Players. Not worth a toss, when the nature of the game is 'reality', and the stakes are 'playing the hand you're dealt'.

Welcome, gracious Lady. I've done what I could to help your husband, but he has been a great trial to me. I have championed him, by taking him as Squire. I've attempted to teach him, and direct anger from him by, for a time, amusingly re-naming him 'Mouse'. I've pounded him in private emails. I have remonstrated with him, both gently, and with more feeling, to be less of an aggressive lackwit, and more of a figure that will win the admiration of all. This process has been met, I might say, with mixed results. On the one hand, your husband is still given to almost unbelievably stupid flights of idiocy. On the other hand, even Berli said to me, a short while ago, 'That stupid little bastard is starting to grow on me. I think. I still don't like him much.' You are most welcome here, Delaney. If you desire to be a part of our strange little...community, please apply to Persephone, or YK2, for a companion in curious misery. Alternatively, seek the friendship of Yeknod. There's something so...solid, about a donkey. They may twitch the ear, and give you a phlegmatic look of occasional misery, but they won't let you down. While I much doubt you need any real defending, please be aware that not ONE, SINGLE, USELESS SWINE will give you any real trouble. We have rules, you see. Most of them are so much ****e, but a few are inviolable. If anyone annoys you, simply say so. Then let us know if you're the sort of woman who actually wants the ears, or the sort who feels it's enough to know they've been removed. Painfully. With a knife that's as sharp as the wit of Panzer Leader. You, if anyone, should understand how brutal that must be. Tell the truth. Is PL actually funny when you two are brightly conversing?