Andreas

Err, all this writing names in bold, is that not just some sort of mental Peng-Thread masturbation/ego-stroking for the witless wastes of space who are currently populating the wastelands of humour and inspiration that this thread has become? Something like 'uh, Joe mentioned my name in bold, I must be important...' Well, I guess it has some merit, because it allows you to discard 99.9% of the drivel written here. No need to answer that question by the way, it was a rethorical question. If you don't understand what that is (make that 'since'), best look it up in a dictionary. You know, these books with words in them, explaining other words. You lot should try it one day, you might just learn something new. The Anglophile Nick Chameleon

Right, I need two play-testers for a rather complex scenario. Which should rule out about 99% of you for playing it. But hey, I am feeling generous. It is largish, so don't come awhinging if your crappy modems or systems can't hack the files. You should have a decent skill level at playing CMBO, so that should rule out, oh well, maybe I just go ask on the Outerboards... Inquiries per email as in my profile. I reserve the right to abuse you for stupid moves, and blame any losses on your incompetence as players, and will not accept any blame as the designer. Who would have thought I have to thank Stuka one day, but thanks for alerting me to the oversight in my profile. Now corrected. What you lot treat me as is about as relevant as your taunts. I.e. not very. Welcome back Goanna. The Anglophile Nick Chameleon

Also, don't forget to vote for the scenario of the month! I think Byron has a point - if you are pressed for time, you don't want to risk wasting it on a bad scenario. At the end of the day, any review of any scenario is welcome, will make the site more attractive, and over time people will come back to play new stuff and hopefully review it too. It is at this stage important to grow the stock of reviews on the Depot. The Anglophile Nick Chameleon

Quite a lot of ASL conversions available on the Depot (link in my sig). Review them when you have played them. To be honest, there are a lot of better scenarios about. Straight translations of ASL into CMBO do not work. The scenarios are unbalanced, and the maps look crappy. Go for the ones where the designers try to capture the 'spirit' of the ASL battle, not those where they slavishly stick to it. Unless the trip down memory lane means a lot to you, of course.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Simon Fox: I take umbrage at anyone taking me seriously! Lost in all this brouhaha is the really interesting questions of when, who and how frequently. In reality of course the best answer to 'bazooka' toting Jerries is to Besa the buggers and every hedge, copse, wall, house, hole they could be hiding in. Unfortunately you area fire is really point fire at the moment which somewhat restricts this really useful prophylactic technique.<hr></blockquote> I shall never again take you seriously, agree on Besaing the buggers (although I believe that Aussie tank crews would just rip their throats out with their teeth, spit it into their helmet, and make a nice stew from it), and that area-fire could warrant a closer look. The interesting questions are not lost - they are just not answered by the person toting chickenwire as an add-on worth modeling. I have been asking them from the start. *shrug* Maybe Brian has the super-duper special edition of Delaforce's work with all the answers in it...

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Spook: That reminds me of the parodic (Monty Python?) skit someone posted here in the CM forums, about the Australians being the first into Berlin & Tokyo & the whatnot (and bailing out the bumbling Yanks along the way too). Was that you who posted that, Andreas, or was it Simon Fox or even someone else? I'd love to save a copy --- it was pretty funny. But my earlier forum searches haven't availed.<hr></blockquote> T'was me. Might have been on the General Forum.

Steve, I think you are going a bit harsh here on poor Brian. He has after all caused the history of WW2 to be rewritten as we speak. His amazing discoveries include the following: 1. the utter incapability of Rommel as a general (only good because of his intel - of course Allied generals were all geniuses, to whom ULTRA was but a nuisance, and who despised intel because it got in the way of doing the job well and is unsporting). 2. German Sturmtruppen of 1918 were the equivalent of your local footy team, and just let into the British defenses out of kindness. 3. Australia's army liberated the Pacific by itself. It repeatedly had to bail out the hapless Americans though. 4. The Bren Tripod, marvel of weapons development, envy of the Wehrmacht. There is a quote by Keitel, snapped up during the Champagne reception when he surrendered to the Australian ambassador in Karlshorst - 'Vizout ze Bren Tripod, zer vould haf been no Australian Wiktorie in Normandy, mein Herr.' 5. Finally, his master-piece, the discovery of the groundbreaking role of chickenwire on the Australian tanks crossing the Rhine in 1945. With the keen sense of the outbacker, the Aussies had that itching feeling that the east bank would be crawling with Hitlerjungen wielding Panzerfaeuste. They therefore liberated lots of hens for supper (and other things, sheep being a scarce commodity in the Rhineland), and then used the now superfluous wire of their (the hens', not the Aussies') cages to make their tanks immune to the shaped charge. Thus equipped, the Australian Army broke out into the North German plain, destroying the German army on the Vistula, and liberating Berlin. Being a generous people by nature, they invited the Red Army to join the parade. But then Sergej, the driver of Zhukov, started the Cold War by nicking a Castlemaine XXX from Private Bruce. All this and more deduced from a random quote and a single picture in a second rate book. Spengler would bow to Brian, as would Tuchman. Marshall pales next to him.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by wwb_99: Clubbing seals, is, after all, quite entertaining.<hr></blockquote> Probably more so than playing one of my scenarios.

At least one documented incident of a Crusader AA tank in use in ground combat was during the St. Lambert battle of the SAR. They shot up a sizeable number of Germans trying to escape through a wooded patch, and forced the rest to surrender. I am sure there must be more, but that is the one I can come with off the top of my head.

Please note how Brian has now decided to abandon any pretence of debating the evidence at hand (i.e. Delaforce's book), and instead resorts to Debating 101 - If shown that you don't have a leg to stand on, repeat your point ad nauseam, in the hope that you drone out the other voices. Plus ca change.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Brian: [/qb] Either way, I do not believe that there should simply be the sort of blanket statements which I've seen uttered here that "no Allied tanks had this" or even "all German tanks had Schutzenplatte". <hr></blockquote> Back to making things up again Brian, are we? Where has that been said? The reason BTS and others take JonS and Simon Fox seriously is because they don't make their arguments up. Have a guess at why nobody takes you serious. Instead of having a general go at BTS, why don't you come up with some proof for your assertions from that other post, you know, about the workshops, 'one regiment if not more' and all that? I am not surprised you don't like Slapdragon. It must be harsh to be called to task again and again. Here's a hint how to avoid it - get that basics right first, and stop making things up.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: I should think one of the responsibilites of a scenario designer should be to set up both sides before releasing it to the public.<hr></blockquote> Absolutely. One problem is though that the AI sometimes has other ideas than the designer, and just marches the troops across the battlefield to correct the 'mistake'. Particularly in larger scenarios.

Ligur, you know that our Der Kessel Byte Battles™ are written especially for TCP/IP?

Done

Or more like it, the absence of them. Discussed here: That other thread Can't be bothered to open the thread? Well then just go and review a scenario today, or else I will club this Seal. Link in my sig.

I can only second all of that. I find that sometimes scenarios seem to be 'upmarked' (e.g. no briefing except for the points level, yet gets an '8' on briefing). I also agree on the spoilers bit - at least you should always put SPOILER in there to make people stop reading. Finally - I know a lot of people here are too lazy to review scenarios, or don't think it worth their while. That's fine, and it is their perogative. Unfortunately it is pretty much the only feedback we designers get after the playtesting, and in many ways it is the only motivation that designers have. Some of us spend months working on and off on a single scenario. Some of you then spend weeks playing it PBEM, or hours playing it against the AI. Maybe some more of you could spend the 3 minutes it takes to review one? Even if you don't like it, review it. Otherwise, how is the fare going to get better? The good old English 'mustn't grumble' attitude won't change things. So, off you go. Link is in my sig.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Doug Beman: Preordered CM and still a junior member? I think Halk is the true God of Lurkers. My role on this forum is the same as my role in real life: sit on the sidelines and throw empty beer cups. DjB<hr></blockquote> Doug - like the map or not? Answers on a postcard please.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by M Hofbauer: Germanboy beat me to it.<hr></blockquote> You are just too slow

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by History Buff: Germany was a motorised army (Compared the many others) <hr></blockquote> Err, no. In 1940, the only fully mechanised army in the world was the British Army (except for some special units using mules in the jungle, I believe). In 1944, it had been joined by the US Army. The Red Army probably had a higher degree of mechanisation than the German army in 1944/5. Until 8/5/1945 the Wehrmacht had to rely on the trusty steed to get its supplies and guns where it wanted to have them. There were not enough vehicles to go round, and there was even less petrol. The supply columns and prime movers that took guns into battle in 1941-2 were a hodge podge of captured vehicles from the French and British armies, and Panje wagons. The ordinary German soldier walked into battle (and was bloody good at it - the distances covered on foot then are astounding), and was supplied by horse-drawn wagons, apart from about 20-25 or so Panzer and Panzergrenadier Divisions, out of some 200 divison-scale formations. This is apparently often forgotten in the fascination with the few mechanised German divisions.

I would blame it on their commander. No suppressive fire? No recon by fire? No preparation? Too bad. Good thing the game does not model the writing letters to deceased heros' parents part of the business. 'Dear Sir or Madam, your son/husband/father had to die because I have a lot to learn' At least that is how mine would start.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Not edited because...<hr></blockquote> Shome mishtake, shurely? (you have to read Private Eye to understand it)

Actually, tools - the article is translated into english on CMHQ, under news for Nov.18th.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by tools4fools: Germanboy, saying in the article the graphics being a drawback, did they mention that there are loads of mods out there which considerably improve the looks of the game?<hr></blockquote> Don't think the guy does, and in fairness, that should not enter judgement, as mods are fairly inaccessible to those not speaking English - except for those published on Tom's site. Since the game is sold boxed, not via the internet, in Germany, you can not assume that everyone who gets it has a decent connection, too.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Slapdragon: In fact, I have seen TSS (a Finn), Germanboy (a German), Dorosh (a Canadian), Argie (an Argentinian), Spook, Vanir, and Pillar (Americans) all being quite patient with a Newbie, trying to explain why something was so, a multicultural menage.<hr></blockquote> Me? Patient? Shurely not. I am German. If I was it must have been a mishtake, and it is inappropriate to mention it in public. Probably only because shooting them on the spot for their morosity is unfortunately quite illegal. Bloody rule of law, I say.

Come see the uncertainty inherent in the system.