Can physics and sex prove religion

[dieseltaylor]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay constant, the volume of hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that "it will be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... leaving only heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

[Tero]

Nice one. But there is one flaw in the theory I wish you convey to the professor:

2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

....then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct... leaving only heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God."

If hell has indeed frozen over it is no longer expanding. If we assume the gas-like souls are frozen and dissipated in the space too thin to absorb more heat the weight of the mass compared to the space it occupies and the velocity of the expanding mass will turn the expansion an implosion resulting in heating up of the core which in turn initiates the re-expansion and cooling up cycle.

Thus "Hell" is a pulsar like perpetuum mobile which operates by the constant source of souls. Given it is working under the laws of physics of its own no divine being is needed to operate it thus negating the proof of the existence of any devine beings.

EDIT: Sandra shouting proof is a non-sequitur since her exclamation may or may not be based on fraudulent/dishonest testimony and incomplete presentation of facts.

[MeatEtr]

Haha, that was great, thanks for posting it taylor. Makes me miss the good ole college days.

[Pak_43]

Snopes is your friend....

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

[Other Means]

Nice to see the University of Liverpool getting in on these things.

[Dave H]

Snopes is your friend....

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

Is this a new record for an internet anecdote getting posted on the GF as if it was brand new? According to Snopes they collected it in 1997 and it was written 90 years ago.

[Runyan99]

Sounds like urban legend.

[Stalins Organ]

B+ max - there's a 3rd possibility that hell is expanding at exactly the rate it needs to to maintain it's current characteristics.

Given the proximate evidence as to which of the 3 was happening the conclusion seems correct, hence a good mark....but not a brilliant one.

The education system is obviously hoing to hell in a handbag (evidence it is getting smaller?) if this got an A!

[dieseltaylor]

Incidentally I almost looked at Smopes as it was a bit dubious and then thought sod it why not post as is. There are a couple of clues " freshman year!!?"

Dave H - the original - not surprisingly has no sex mentioned.