Guest Mike Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 To: Office of the 3rd Assistant Parliamentary Undersecretary for Aircraft Armaments Dear Sir Thank you for the nice new Spitfire XIV's. They are a wonderful aeroplane and we are having wonderul fun shooting the beastly Japanese and Germans out of the sky with them. However there is one thing that miffs the chaps a bit, and that is when those horrid Lancaster gunners shoot one down too. This is cutting into the numbers available for me to shoot down, and really is most annoying. I mean to say old chap - those gunners are only Seargents - enlisted men!! What's the point in giving htem credit for the kills? No, this is really a sport for gentleen and I must insist you stop issuing them with ammunition at once. Never mind that a few bombers may get shot down - without the gunners they will only have 4 crew, so it's much less of a loss, and we usually get them through without having a cannon shell laid on them anyway. I would appreciate your action on this matter at the soonest convenience. Yours sincerely, Air Commodore Earl Algernon (Algy) Aloysius Edward James McGerkhinshaw, 13th Earl of Cods' Wallop, VC and 11 bars PS How are you Charles? How are Joanna and the children? It has been too long since we have seen you - you must attend the Spring Hunt this April. Anne has a splendid new bay and has been charging all over the moors on her all Summer. Look forward to seeing you then. Algy [ February 01, 2006, 04:08 AM: Message edited by: Stalin's Organist ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lakespeed Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 My dearest Algy, Thank you kindly for your concern about our gunners, however if you continue to allow our bombers to be shot down repeatedly on almost every mission you escort by the villanous enemy, there will be none left for you to protect. Warmest regards, Chas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Dear Chas, I'm sorry to see the Ministry is now supplying hte Daily Mirror at lunch instead of theTimes. It is so difficult to maintain standards in these days of pernicious cost cutting. Still I would have thought yuo might lend more weight to official reports that show few, if any, bombers ever get shot down, and indeed most never even get shot at. Sorry that slipping standards at the Ministry are getting to you and you won't be able to make the Spring Hunt after all. Fondest regards Algy [ February 01, 2006, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: Stalin's Organist ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lakespeed Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 My dearest chap Algy, Maybe we can get you some of those Yank gunners. Those B-17's seem to come back with more holes in their own planes from their own guns than from German shells. And there have been fewer German fighter losses this month reported by the 8th Air Force than in recent months. Perchance I may make the spring hunt after all, providing our bombers start to hit their targets more frequently. Warmest Regards, Chas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Dear Charles Really old chap - you need to have a word with Harris over at Bomber Command if yuo want the bombers to hit the targets more often - we jsut get them there in one piece! Horses and water old boy, horses and water! I'm terribly sorry to hear of the illness in hte Ministry - Anne thinks it might noit be such a good idea for you to come to hte hunt after all - we can't go spreading that stuff around - that would be doing the beastly Hun's work for him! So perhaps see you at Mid-Summer in the Cotswolds Toodle pip for now Algy Air Commodore Earl Algernon (Algy) Aloysius Edward James McGerkhinshaw, 13th Earl of Cods' Wallop, VC and 22 bars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixxkiller Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 One must give Stalin some credit here. I mean it is obvious he has now figured out how to strap that lawn chair on the back of a sheep and learned how to balance well enough to become inebriated while typing up these ghastly meanderings of rubbish so that we cant help but feel pitty for a grown man who only a while back was sending pictures to the Queen of himself running through the aisles of his local pub singing "Fosters is Kiwi For Beer Mate" in his tiedyed bloomers. That is major progress for anyone who lives Down Under and Over I suppose. I guess the Aussies have Steve so the Kiwis get Stalin.....CRIKEY -Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 My dear chap - what is one to do when Her Majesty becomes so enamoured of one. And the lawn chair on a sheep race was quite a lot of fun at the New Zealand Embassy's fundraiser for the war effort - quite inventive theses colonial chaps. Wouldn't do at St Erathmus's charity gala of course, but one can't expect too much. However I did enquire of your other turn of phrase - it seems your geography is quite up to par for an American. "Fosters" is apparently from Australia, and all the Kiwi's I spoke to about it had the same opinion - namely it is like sex in a cannoe - f***ing close to water. A crude but clear assessment! Chin chin Algy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggs Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Algy old Boy, Congratulations on another 11 VCs. I hope the Flak isn't too bad in the office that you fly your desk around in. Was very alarmed to hear about your chum Group Captain Reginald Willard Lecroix-Mallard - word in the Fleet is that gave himself a nasty bump when he ran out of pencils and fell off his chair while engaged in a vicious session of paperwork. You wouldn't believe it if I told you, but I was doing some fishing off the stern of my Battleship, the HMS Duke of York, when I caught and reeled in a Hun U-Boat! Reminds me of the time I sank the Bismarck with a well-aimed rifle shot from the bridge of the Ajax, back in my Midshipman days, you see. By the way, chap, I'd love to come to the hunt with you, but I fear I'd ruin the fun for the rest of you. Did you know I caught a gaggle of Foxes running through the holds of the HMS Warspite last winter? Killed them all with my bare hands and made a squadron of Swordfish out of the remains. Anyway I do have to get back to the War. Cheerie-bye and whatnot, Rear Admiral Lord James "Blithering Old Fool" Jelly-Allistar P.S. Watch out for splinters when you're scribbling on your blotter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixxkiller Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 My god this is turning into "Down in Fantasy." -Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggs Posted February 7, 2006 Share Posted February 7, 2006 Or perhaps "Down in Comedy." Come on Sixx, get a new funny-fuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanadu Posted February 11, 2006 Share Posted February 11, 2006 To Sixxkiller: Visited your Carrier site. Looks good. One minor thing. AKAGI was built on a hull intended as a Battlecruiser not a Battleship. The original AMAGI was being built on an identical hull at the same time, but was wrecked before completion by an earthquake. The KAGA was replacement for AMAGI and was built on a Battleship hull as that was the most readilly available partially finished, but not yet scrapped hull (Washington Naval Limitation Treaty stuff). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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