Muh Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 Funnay schitznitz... *Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.* *Eisenhower has joined the game.* *paTTon has joined the game.* *Churchill has joined the game.* *benny-tow has joined the game.* *T0J0 has joined the game.* *Roosevelt has joined the game.* *Stalin has joined the game.* *deGaulle has joined the game.* Roosevelt: hey sup T0J0: y0 Stalin: hi Churchill: hi Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks! paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks T0JO: lol Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression! benny-tow: haha america sux Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool? Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever Stalin: cool deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me Roosevelt: get antiair guns Churchill: i cant afford them benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is? paTTon: stfu Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army paTTon: yah hurry the fock up Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck *deGaulle has left the game.* Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k? benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair? benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head? Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u Roosevelt: wtf! thats bull**** u ***s im gunna kick ur asses T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u Hitler[AoE]: wtf Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army Hitler[AoE]: thats bull**** u hacker Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me! T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path Stalin: u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol benny-tow: haha benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1 T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya Stalin: church help me Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here Stalin: dont be an arss Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late Eisenhower: LOL benny-tow: hahahh oh **** help Hitler: o man ur focked paTTon: oh what now biotch Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol *benny-tow has been eliminated.* benny-tow: lame Roosevelt: gj patton paTTon: thnx Hitler[AoE]: eisenhower hax hes killing all my **** Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record Eisenhower: Nuts! benny~tow: wtf that mean? Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun ****socker Stalin: rofl T0J0: HAHAHHAA Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city *Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.* benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL Stalin: OMG LMAO! Hitler[AoE]: i didnt click there omg this game blows *Hitler[AoE] has left the game* paTTon: hahahhah T0J0: my teammates are n00bs benny~tow: shut up noob Roosevelt: haha wut a moron paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now? Eisenhower: yah me too T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol Eisenhower: fock u paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie Stalin: go to hell lol paTTon: fock this **** im goin afk Eisenhower: yah this is gay *Roosevelt has left the game.* Hitler[AoE]: wtf? Eisenhower: **** now we need some1 to join *tru_m4n has joined the game.* tru_m4n: hi all T0J0: hey Stalin: sup Churchill: hi tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff! tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets T0J0: wtf is nukes? T0J0: holy ****holy****hoylshti!!!111 *T0J0 has been eliminated.* *The Allied team has won the game!* Eisenhower: awesome! Churchill: gg noobs no re T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck *T0J0 has left the game.* *Eisenhower has left the game.* Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for **** Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss tru_m4n: l8r all benny~tow: bye Churchill: l8r Stalin: fock u all tru_m4n: shut up commie lol *tru_m4n has left the game.* benny~tow: lololol u commie Churchill: ROFL Churchill: bye commie *Churchill has left the game.* *benny~tow has left the game.* Stalin: i hate u all ***s *Stalin has left the game.* paTTon: lol no1 is left paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep *paTTon has been eliminated.* paTTon: o ****! *paTTon has left the game.* --- BadMonkey on Ars added the following: *poland has joined the game* poland:HAY GUYS HOWZ IT GOIUNG DUDZ? *poland has been eliminated* poland:F***!!!11 poland:F*** U F***ING SPAWN CAMPERS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blashy Posted September 1, 2005 Share Posted September 1, 2005 That's gotta be some of the funniest crap I've ever read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragoon19 Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Good Fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pino Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 LoL, this one is old man, have read it somewhere else a couple of months ago :eek: Its still good though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pino Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 http://www.opentechsupport.net/forums/archive/topic/36066-1.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Patrick Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Okay, I'd never seen that before, and it was friggin great! Who'd have thought of WWII as ... oh, that was great! Thank you for breaking the monotony as we wait for our next most-loved game! J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zappsweden Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 Oh, I have some material from Zapp Leno show. They gonna show it in their next show. But I can give you the preview already now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zappsweden Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 When SC2 is fought by the good old SC gamers *Terif (Germany) has joined the game.* *Rambo (USA) has joined the game.* *Hellraiser (UK) has joined the game.* *Codename Condor (Italy) has joined the game* *Dragonheart (Japan) has joined the game.* *Liam (France) has joined the game.* *Zappsweden (Russia) has joined the game.* Zappsweden: Yo Hellraiser: sup biotch? Rambo: Hi Codename Condor: Hi Dragonheart: Hi Terif: Hi Liam: Hi Terif: Kewl, SC2 has given Germany a start with Tiger Tanks! Rambo: ? Liam: Rambo, he was just kidding. Rambo: ? Hellraiser: Rambo, there is nothing fishy going on, seriously. Zappsweden: Hey Terif, lets bury the hatchet. I will never attack you, I swear... Terif: sure, whatever Zappsweden: kewl Hellraiser: Hmm, Liam you know what we should do? LC Gambit, you gotta move those units exactly as I tell you before too late. Hellraiser: Liam??? Terif: Ah, Poland and LC surrender to Axis. I got it all figured out... Hellraiser: Liam!!!!! :mad: Liam: Sorry guys, I was saving up money for a bomber. I will listen to you next time. I promise. Rambo: Liam. On paper, you should have the best damn ground forces on the planet. Now make sure you defend the whole border not just the Maginot Line. Game Sound Effects: BOOM! CRASH! BOOM! Liam: Emergency! Germany broke my lines! BEING HEADCRACKED! Help! Terif: Paris in April, not bad.... Dragonheart: Bye Liam, thanks for your short participation *Liam (France) has been eliminated* Terif: Now Condor, get in those boats to Africa. We gonna swing around Zappswedens Russian flank and get Russia from 2 sides. Condor: Sir, Yes Sir! Terif: Dragonheart, what is taking so long? Start doing some action around there Dragonheart: Oh, reading the lastest updat files and checking all the new units in SC2. I am not gonna do anything in haste here. Hellraiser: WTF, Terif has long range. He is sniping my HQ and killing air Zappsweden (thinking): Hehe, Good. Let those Capitalistic nations destroy themselves. Rambo: Hellraiser, you twat. You have no AA research??? Hellraiser: No, I thought the AA Research was not allowed. Terif is the AA Bug still there in SC2??? Terif: No, it has been removed. Hellraiser: I cannot afford em anyway. Rambo, gimme Lend Lease. FAST! Rambo: Son. I know you love America and wann be like us but you are not and you will never be. Swim or Sink, Pal! Hellraiser: Rambo, if you do not lend lease and Axis conquers Europe you will gonna pay HUGE for it later. Come on dude, don’t be a biotch. Rambo: Ok, I’m sending one boat, ONE BOAT. I will load it with plenty of marines. That’s all it takes to conquer the world. Terif: Hehe, got em... Game Sound Effects: BOOOOOM! Rambo: Germany sunk my ship. YOU FUKKED WITH THE WRONG MARINE! :mad: Rambo: Ok, That’s it! I’m getting pissed off. Gonna use my All-In strategy now. Soldiers do your duty, man the boats! Terif: What? Does SC2 include a force pool? Even I have missed that rule. Yikes, 20 US armies deploying on the US East Coast. Zappsweden (thinking): This is looking better and better. Those Evil Nazis fighting a fierce war against the English dogs and now the American swines getting losses too, hehehe Condor: Terif Sir, I am moving the pieces according to the SC2 Cookie Cutter Document you sent me. Regardless, I seem to get headcracked. My Spaghetti Soldiers are just having bad luck, I am sure it will turn soon. Terif (thinking): Grrrrrr, I did not count the Morale Penalties of Italians, Russians and other bozos when doing the cookie-cutter. I need to be flexible now. Terif: Ok, Condor. I send some forces to Africa. We will get Egyp in time for Barbie, no problem Condor: Sir, yes Sir! Terif: Dragonheart. Have u moved your units yet? Dragonheart: Wow! You can read my mind. I was just planning to move some units when u said “Have u moved your units?” Condor: Sir, We are short on oil. The Cookie Cutter papers did not say anything about that. Terif Sir, what is happening? Terif: Zappsweden. I am sorry, but your empire must be destroyed. Chaaaaaaaaarge! Zappsweden: Arse! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE Terif: Nah, there are no pacts between Lion and Men. Condor: Hehe, go get him Sir Grandmaster Yoda Terif. Zappsweden: Hey, Yankee Rambo. You gotta land in the France now. Early D-Day, C’mon! Hellraiser: Listen, Zapp you Biotch. You tried to get a stand alone victory for Russia. You let Liam be eaten alive. Hehe, not that I liked the French anyway, but after France I am the one taking those Stukas up the UK arse. Please do not missunderstand. Both me and Rambo want you alive you pig, so that we can beat the Axis. Rambo: Yeah, you are a Commie! Die Commies!!!! Hellraiser: Relax Rambo, it is just a game. Just a game. Rambo: Don’t give me orders, SON! I call the shots around here. Zappsweden: Wow, Russia get to start with 10.000 MPP, can research snow skiis, get winter equipped men and tanks, invoke Russian partisans and have a special Winter Bonus. Kewl. SC2 rulez! Terif: Leningrad, Moscow and Stalingrad trenches brought down, will be conquered next turn Zappsweden: Ahhhhh, the Russian Winter Coming....... Hellraiser: Rambo. Lets hurry up dude. Russia is gaining ground now. We need to get started in France. Rambo: Nah. My American units are not good enough yet. I need to build the 101st Airborne first Game Sound Effects: BOOOOM! Dragonheart: Take that Bimbo Rambo, whatever. Your navy headcracked in Pearl Harbour. Did you expect me to just sit on my ass and be slow? Rambo: Frankly, I DID! Dragonheart: You should have prepared dude. Rambo: You are going down for this, Dragondirt. I am gonna nuke your ass and feed it to all the poor happy (gay) ppl living on the streets here in my country. Zappsweden: Gonna get Berlin and convert the whole Germany to Communism. Yeah! Hellraiser: Rambo, the boats are loaded. We need to get rdy for D-Day now. Use your American HQ’s so we can get supply after we landed. Rambo: This is too easy. Hey, lets just send the Airborne and Marines. They are bad ass! Hellraiser: No Rambo, your units suck and so does your tanks. Send them in numbers. Expect high casualties because those Gerries can fight and Terif has all the hedge row hexes occupied giving him a nice defence bonus. Game Sound Effects: Boom! Rambo and Hellraiser: Yeah, Finally a foothold in France Zappsweden: Guys, I have already liberated all Russia. Rambo and Hellraiser: Yeah, we got France. Zappsweden: Guys, I have already liberated Eastern Europe Rambo and Hellraiser: Yeah, we got LC, Italy and Half of Germany. Codename Condor: Terif Sir, I could not hold em off. They are chasing me, gimme a hand. Codename Condor: Those Allies look nasty, Hey we surrender, don’t shoot, don’t shoot. Terif: Italian fools, I take over from now on. Bring in our reserves to northern Italy, we gonna reconquer it. In fact, it will be easier now, when Italians don’t get in our way. Rambo: Hehe, youre headcracked! Terif, give it up now. We gonna hunt the Eagles nest and we gonna bomb all your cities. On second thought, don’t surrender, It’s payback time! We gonna bomb it anyway You fukked with the wrong Mariiiine!!!! Rambo and Hellraiser: Yeah, Finally Berlin. Took long time because we had to stop on the way and plant some bombs in German cities. Zappsweden: Berlin? Me too! Rambo and Hellraiser: What? We just entered that hex. Zappsweden:, Yes but the game does not end with Berlin Rambo: Whatcha talking about??? Zappsweden: Since I chose the “Russia alone” option, the victory cannot be split. You can figure out the rest... BOOM! OOOPS there goes your Eisenhower HQ. Muahaha!!! Rambo: I cannot take this bull****. This is a waste of time. CU *Rambo disconnected* *Rambo (USA) has joined the game* Rambo: Well, I just forgot one thing. Unfinished business. Dragondirt, take this! Game Sound Effects: BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! *Rambo disconnected* Dragonheart: Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!! Rambo used NUKES over my Japan. That was low!!!! Hellraiser: Zapp, lets call this a test game just, not a “game” Zappsweden: No, this WAS a test game. But now I am WINNING. No test game, dewd. This is fo REAL!!! Hellraiser: How long can the game last? Zappsweden: ? Hellraiser: In case no side gains the upper hand, what year? Zappsweden: I heard the Stalemate is in 1949 in SC2 but the game wont last that long really. Dragonheart: hello??? FYI, I am still alive. I can fight on forever, no problem. I wont quit. Zappsweden: Damn. Dragonslowheart is alive. On second thoughts Hellraiser, this might become a VERY SLOW affair. I offer a draw. Hellraiser: You kidding me? Dragonheart and I just made an alliance and we can then split the victory. I got the slowest ass player on my side now. Dragonheart, start giving your units the crawl orders now, nice and slow now. Dragonheart: Roger That! [ September 08, 2005, 05:01 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zappsweden Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 EPILOGUE: Zappsweden surrendered just weeks after the final offensive was started by the new Japan-Anglo pact. His Soviet Union was dissolved after the peace. The opposition party took over and Zappsweden was replaced by a new kandidate and retired from Politics. Dragonheart succeded in grabbing a large chunk of Russian land in the peace with Russia but the A-Bombs had already taken their toll. Dragonheart passed away in cancer the year after. Hellraiser rised to become the new unrivaled ruler of Europe. Some say he was worse than the Nazis. His empire (also called “The Evil Empire”) was split during revolts after he passed away. Rambo retired from his post after the war and built a great Farming empire (mostly Potatos) in the Western USA. He is now one of the richest ppl in the world and the sole producer of french fries for one of the worlds largest hamburger corporations. Codename Condor was forced to resign after his bad war efforts but continued being a Politician in the same party. Liam ruled France for over 30 years after the war but was later jailed for his cooperation with the Evil Empire ruled by Hellraiser. [ September 08, 2005, 05:17 AM: Message edited by: zappsweden ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon_j_rambo Posted September 7, 2005 Share Posted September 7, 2005 classics! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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