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Wine, Women And Sing songs, Long Live The Peng Challenge Thread

**YK2**

By **YK2**
in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

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**YK2** Senior Member

**YK2**

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**A bedtime story to help the Gnome sleep*

Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, and their names were-- Seanachai, Berli, Joe and Peng.

They lived with their Mother known to some as Dame YK2 in a sand-bank, underneath the root of a very big fir-tree.

"Now, my dears," said YK2 one morning, "you may go into the fields or down the lane, but don't go into Mr.Maces' garden: your Father had an accident there and he was put in a pie by Mrs Mace

"Now run along, and don't get into mischief. I am going out."

Then YK2 took a basket and her umbrella, and went through the wood to the store. She bought a bottle of Lagavulin and five juicy steaks.

Seanachai, Joe and Peng who were good little bunnies, went down the lane to gather blackberries;

But Berli who was very naughty, ran straight away to Mr. Maces' garden, and squeezed under the gate!

First he ate some lettuces and some French beans, and then he ate some radishes;

And then, feeling rather sick, he went to look for some parsley.

But round the end of a Cucumber frame, whom should he meet but Mr.Mace !

Mr. Mace was on his hands and knees (nothing new there) planting out young cabbages, but he jumped up and ran after Berli , waving a rake and calling out, "Stop thief."

Berli was most dreadfully frightened; he rushed all over the garden, for he had forgotten the way back to the gate.

He lost one of his horns among the cabbages, and the other horn amongst the potatoes.

After losing them, he ran even faster, so that I think he might have got away altogether if he had not unfortunately run into a gooseberry net, and got caught by the large buttons on his robe. It was a Black Robe with Red Buttons, quite new.

Berli gave himself up for lost, and shed big tears; but his sobs were overheard by some friendly sparrows, who flew to him in great excitement, and implored him to exert himself.

Mr. Mace came up with a sieve, which he intended to pop upon the top of Berli, but Berli wriggled out just in time, leaving his jacket behind him.

He rushed into the Cesspool , and jumped into a large hole. It would have been a great

Place to hide if it had not had so much stinking water in it.

Mr. Mace was quite sure that Berli was somewhere in the Cesspool,perhaps hidden underneath a table or chair, He began to turn them over carefully, looking under each.

Presently Berli sneezed-- "Kertyschoo!" Mr. Mace was after him in no time,

He tried to put his foot upon Berli, who jumped into the deep end of the Cesspool.

The Cesspool was too deep for Mr. Mace, and he was tired of chasing after Berli, So he went back to his sheep.

Berli got out of the Pool and sat down to rest; he was out of breath and trembling with fright, and he had not the least idea what to do now. Also he was very damp and smelly with being in the Cesspool.

After a time he began to wander about, going lippity--lippity--not very fast, and looking all around.

He found a door in a wall; but it was locked, and there was no room for him to squeeze underneath.

An old mouse named Panzer Leader was running in and out over the stone doorstep, carrying peas and beans to his family in the wood. Berli asked him the way to the gate, but he had such a large pea in his mouth that he could not answer. He only shook his head at him. Berli gave him a kick in the yarbles and told Panzer Leader what a useless git he was.

So he tried to find his own way home, but he became more and more puzzled. Presently, he came to a pond just outside the Cesspool where Mr. Mace filled his water-cans. A white cat named Persephone was staring at some goldfish; she sat very, very still, but now and then the tip of her tail twitched as if it were alive. Berli thought it best to go away without speaking to her; he has heard about cats from his cousin Dalem.

He went back towards the garden, but suddenly, quite close to him, he heard the noise of a hoe--scr-r-ritch, scratch, scratch, scritch. Berli scuttered underneath the bushes. But presently, as nothing happened, he came out, and climbed upon a wheelbarrow, and peeped over. The first thing he saw was Mr. Mace hoeing his onions. His back was turned towards Berli,(again nothing new there) and beyond him was the gate!

Berli got down very quietly off the wheelbarrow, and started running as fast as he could go, along a straight walk behind some black-currant bushes.

Mr. Mace caught sight of him at the corner, but Berli did not care. He slipped underneath the gate, and was safe at last in the wood outside the Cesspool .

Mr. Mace decided to hang up the little jacket and the horns in the form of a scare-crow to frighten off any SSNS'

Berli never stopped running or looked behind him till he got home to the big fir-tree.

He was so tired that he flopped down upon the nice soft sand on the floor of the rabbit-hole, and shut his eyes. YK2 was busy cooking; she wondered what he had done with his clothes. It was the second little jacket and pair of

horns that Berli had lost in a fortnight!

I am sorry to say that Berli was not very well during the evening.

YK2 put him to bed, poured a large glass of castor oil and gave it to Berli !

"One table-spoonful to be taken at bed-time."

That should teach the little bugger....

But Seanachai , Joe , and Peng had Steak and Lagavulin for supper, so they lived happily ever after.

Ok Seanacoochie

If you're not already asleep then there is no hope for you.....

[ December 01, 2002, 07:15 AM: Message edited by: YK2 ]

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Noba Senior Member

Noba

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Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Jeez Nobby - who said you should move to the East Coast?? Africa beckons - go make a fortune in Caneroon or somewhere!

A setup is wining its way there as you read this - for amusement value you can command the Stalinists, while the glorious Aryan defenders of the Reich shall crush you under my command.

Toodle pip

Gawd, even the translator can't figure this one...

?? wining ?? It can't be "wining" - it must be "losing"......sigh.

You shall lose....I shall win. Your return file is 'winging' it's electronic way back to you.

Noba.

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Yeknodathon Senior Member

Yeknodathon

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

The amount of aimless, useless, pointless poncing about that goes on in this Thread lately, often for days at a time, simply defies human description.

[And from a sun-starved corner of the paddock, behind the compost heap, something grey and heavy peers through the steaming gloom]

*sniff* of course, mincing is much more preferable to poncing (one cannot ponce with a fungal infection)... and although four pedal extremities defy humanity one *sniff* cannot offer the assertion that this is "simple".

Indeed, one's defiance of humanity is complex and, not unlike me BFC tactical AI, me pedals will retreat, for no apparent reason, while coming across a Nobbit's rear or flanks.

This is most bothersome.

As for this Insomnia. Pah! A fluesy, a bint and trollop to keep yer awake to the early hours... one can only wince at this sordid affair... *sniff* most unpleasant. Bards most have standards and such slippage should require a firm remand. Bard... please ascend from yer limitations and attend me presence. I have need for some scratching.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

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Boo Radley Senior Member

Boo Radley

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

First off, that very nice lunatic Winecape was in here, and offered a prize for a Cesspool Tournament Winner. And what's been done about The Details, as it were? Bloody nothing, of course. This lot couldn't organize a bottle party.

And you're surprised by this? I'll bet every day is a total wonderment to you, you childishly naive northern nincompoop.

The average attention span in here is comparable to that of a kitten who regularily laps up antifreeze, and you're now just picking up on that?

But wait! Didn't the whole Winecape tourney bandwagon come to a shuddering halt when our very own Justicar began droning on and on about rules, regulations and why he's a legend in his own mind? So don't come waltzing in here with your wounded diva act and start casting aspersions (or even asparagus) around with gay abandon (not that there's anything wong with that).

We look to you all for guidance and leadership (how sad are we?) and all we get is flummery and innuendoes, and as I always say, "Love goes out the door when money comes innuendo."

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Moriarty Senior Member

Moriarty

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Posted
Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moriarty:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

As usual, you're wrong again. Ladies of the CessPool are exempt from penalty.</font>
Morarty, as usual, your comments are irrelevant.

Idiot and worse Joe may be, but he never said that the lady must suffer a penalty - he said if she was a TRUE lady she would not ASK to be exempt from a penalty.

Being the pillock you are I'm sure the difference bwtween the two statements is beyond you, but one must make the effort.

Now do be a good little tot and bugger off.</font>

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Joe Shaw Senior Member

Joe Shaw

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I think my point has been made. There'll be no more twaddle about Bubonic, Pneumonic or even Septicemic Plague (see that you don't mince about ME with your plague talk, I've made a study so I have) and it's supposed relation to nursery rhymes. Next there'll be reference to being caught between "Berli and the Deep Blue Sea" and I WON'T HAVE IT!

As to the supposed tourney, the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread will stand in full and committed opposition to ANY form of Tourney that goes against the established traditions of the CessPool. Unless the judging is based upon gamey play, cheating, taunting, vilifying and bribery than we simply cannot agree to any such ... travesty!

In light of the above the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is OPPOSED to any tournament ... that does not feature an unconditional and pre-emptive shipment of said wine to the members of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread ... me mostly.

Joe

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imported_Hiram Sedai Senior Member

imported_Hiram Sedai

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Shut up, Joe.

Just shut your gummy trap for once.

You can cram your title of Justicar where the sun doesn't shine and only Berli dwells. You are only one of one who truly cares what a friggen justicar is and reminding us of your insignifance is just, well...sad.

I respect your ability to say nothing at length and to bold alot. That should impress someone. We will tolerate you as long as you don't mess with the testosterone impaired few that frequent our thread.

Got it, Joe? Good!

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**YK2** Senior Member

**YK2**

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Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Hooray for Emma! She is the Bardette.

Calm down Panzer Leader .....

I appreciate your vote of confidence, but let's face it, me the Bardette???????????

Never in this lifetime matey..

I am more of a "oh look there's a nice site which I can make use of" Kinda person.

Still, I used to write a lot of poetry and at times still do. Maybe someday I'll do an "Ode to PL" purely for the fact that you take everything thrown at you with great pride..

I like that......

BTW, Persephones' glass is empty, isn't it time you brought up a few more bottles from the cellar?

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**YK2** Senior Member

**YK2**

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Lol Persephone I am no Bard.

I don't have the verbosity that someone like Seanachai has.

I will do you a little something if you really insist..

My concentration span doesn't stretch to chatting and writing though, and I need to be in the mood.

So don't hold your breath.

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Guest Mike

Guest Mike

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Posted
Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

A setup is wining its way there as you read this - for amusement value you can command the Stalinists, while the glorious Aryan defenders of the Reich shall crush you under my command.

Toodle pip

?? wining ?? It can't be "wining" - it must be "losing"......sigh. .</font>
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