engy Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 Ever played a game of CM when you haven't just been beaten, but you've been *embarrassed*? Today I played my first TCP/IP game with a guy I've been regularly playing PBEM's with (Topi, from Finland). 1000 pts, armor, lots of trees and hills, random weather=fog. I chose 2 Panthers, a Tiger, a JPz V/70, and a Marder III; 3 Panzershrecks, and a platoon of infantry. In boxing match style, I'll give you the round-by-round summary... Round 1: No shooting. [both boxers size each other up. Round Winner: Draw.] Round 2: My Panther, moving fast down the road over a 30m clear stretch to get behind some woods, gets nailed in the side of the turret. [Ow. He lands a jab on my eye. Winner: Topi.] Round 3: My 2nd Panther, sitting in overwatch on a ridge in some woods, never even gets off a shot against an M18 moving in the open toward it. The M18 plugs its first shot right through the Panther's turret. [ugh. An thumping uppercut and another jab to the eye leave me dazed, with my eye nearly swollen shut. Winner: Topi.] Round 4: My Marder III misses a shot at a different M18 from 9m (yes, "9", as in, less than a first down in football) and gets nailed by the M18 it just missed. My JPz V/70, seeing the commotion, fires at the M18 and...of course...misses. The M18 puts a round right through the front armor. [i'm getting pummeled. Left hook, right hook. I collapse to the mat but make it up before the 10 count. Winner:Topi.] Round 5: My Tiger sees the M18 that killed my Panther coming up the hill toward it. One of my 'shrecks also sees the M18, penetrates the front turret...and nothing. It lives, it breathes, it continues moving and firing. The Tiger then fires at it and...misses. The M18 then toasts the Tiger through the front turret. My 'shreck fires at the M18 again, misses, and sets his own building on fire, so he runs out in front of the M18 mg. Dead. ["Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?" Not me. More like "Hit me hard, I'm a punching bag." Blood streams from a gash on my forehead; my eyes barely open wide enough to see. My trainer wonders if he should call 911. Winner: Topi.] Round 6-8: One of my 'schreck teams misses 5 (yes, 5!) straight shots and runs out of ammo. The other one never gets a shot off and routs away under fierce HE fire. [i muster my courage and my little remaining strength and come out swinging. Must be the blood in my eyes, but I don't land a single punch. Winner x 3: Topi.] Round 9: Gruesome HE death to my infantry. Alt-U. I surrender. I hang my head in shame and burn myself in effigy. [Knocked Out. Comatose on the mat. Notify my next of kin. Match winner: Topi. Score: 97-3.] My signature seems ever so appropriate now... engy ------------------ "He who makes war without many mistakes has not made war very long." Napoleon Bonaparte [This message has been edited by engy (edited 01-10-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediJobu Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 He must have obiously cheated......probably the same program that is affecting a lot of my PBEM files...my Germans can't shoot worth a crap...to my enemies content. Just kidding about that cheating thing BTW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topi Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 Just one of those games where everything (at least with tanks, engy did not mention my grunts meeting german smg squads in forest..) wents just like planned and then some. Those hellcats were like charmed; first shot hits, putting normal ap through front turret of panther while moving fast and zooming through a hail of point blank 'schreck shots . Probably those famous non-modelled german optics got foggy and gunners panicked Topi - but will this luck carry me through the evilness of Rune's scenario we are now playing, is a completely different question. Medics have done their job, and boxers are back in their corners.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 oh.. thats it.. I thought you were going to say you lost to your wife... or worse PENG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henri Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 Playing with a mostly armor force in forested terrain without a lot of infantry support is asking for trouble; the M18 is a fast tank killer, and in terrain like this, is much superior to any German tank. You needed a fast light tank like a Puma to counter this fast-moving Hellcat, who can dance circles around German heavy tanks if given the chance. Racing a Panther down an uncleared road into enemy territory in terrain like this is worth a court-martial And yes, you were very unlucky; I have had a couple of games like that where all my tanks bogged down, missed every shot, and were picked off by inferior enemy tanks from two miles away with the first shot... Henri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topi Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 Terrain was moderately hilly and wooded, but mostly open so it was quite good country for german tanks, even with fog los was 500 meters or so. Engy's tanks were actually screened by those 'schrecks, the problem (his, that is) was that my hellcats just ignored them as my own scouts miserably failed to locate those pesky at-troops So he was never advancing _into_ enemy terrain unscreened as the road went in 90 degrees angle to his advance. But yes, I was counting on my 'cats to run circles around his heavies But now that you mention it, we were lucky that not a single tank bogged. Topi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engy Posted January 10, 2001 Author Share Posted January 10, 2001 Topi-- Ok, since you twisted my arm (ouch!) about it, I'll mention my SMG troops... SMG troops. That's how I got my 3 points. Henri-- I was just about to mention how glad I was to see you posting again around here, but then you bring up this court-martial business. Off to the wastelands with you again... And lastly, I forgot to mention the more ominous part of this story. My last PBEM completed: a 94-6 loss to Dschugaschwili (which makes a total of 9--count 'em--9) points *total* in my last two games). It looks like I'm in a vicious downward spiral. Maybe I should go back to playing CC2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henri Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by engy: Topi-- Ok, since you twisted my arm (ouch!) about it, I'll mention my SMG troops... Henri-- I was just about to mention how glad I was to see you posting again around here, but then you bring up this court-martial business. Off to the wastelands with you again... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Errr, after due process, you have been found not guilty and awarded the Iron Cross (you WERE playing the Allies weren't you? As far as pbem performance goes, I am an expert in pbem losses, having lost something like 8 pbems in a row... (but now, NOW, I am a lot better -I got a draw last week Henri [This message has been edited by Henri (edited 01-10-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Porta Posted January 10, 2001 Share Posted January 10, 2001 "He must have obiously cheated......probably the same program that is affecting a lot of my PBEM files...my Germans can't shoot worth a crap...to my enemies content. " Ah, so THAT's why you agreed to give me the germans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karch Posted January 11, 2001 Share Posted January 11, 2001 Porta... is that your real last name, or are you taking a name from the Sven Hassel line of books. Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronson Posted January 11, 2001 Share Posted January 11, 2001 One time i beat the AI.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joseph Porta Posted January 11, 2001 Share Posted January 11, 2001 Karch : Exactly what I have done. I LOVE those books ! ------------------ " Mind, Sir, or I shall take off my belt, and by Thunder my trousers will fall down" -Mr. Hardwood, Blackadder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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