Guest Bad Ju Ju Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 From: Law Offices of Solitary, Poor, Nasty, Brutish & Short Re: Demand for Payment of Damages by Big Time Software, Mr. Charles Moylan and Mr. Steven Grammont (hereinafter, collectively, "BTS"): Dear Gentlemen: This law firm represents Mr. and Mrs. Bad Ju Ju ("plaintiffs"). This letter shall serve as notice that we intend to file suit on behalf of plaintiffs for the intentional and negligent actions of BTS in knowingly and maliciously distributing a software product known as "Combat Mission: Beyond Overlord" (hereinafter, "Product"). My client, Mr. Ju Ju, innocently purchased the Product for light entertainment and assumed that the Product would be fit for this intended purpose; to wit, a game. We believe BTS knew prior to distribution that the Product was much more than just a "game." It is an addiction inherently incapable of moderate use. As such, it has damaged my clients in numerous ways, including but not limited to: (1) Mr. Ju Ju was himself an accomplished lawyer at a large, respected law firm. Within weeks of receiving the Product, his billable hours dropped substantially and his unkept, absent-minded demeanor resulted in a measurable decline in the quality of his work product. Thus, his bonus will likely not be as big this year. (2) Loss of consortium. Mr. and Mrs. Ju Ju once had a healthy, normal marriage. This means, of course, that, ever so often, plaintiffs had what we shall discretely refer to as relations. Since receiving the Product, in Mrs. Ju Ju's words, "Bad, well, doesn't know I'm alive." She had suffered severe and enduring mental distress because of her husband's tragic addiction to your Product. (3) Dr. I. M. Horedog, Phd., will further testify that my client is suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD), and experiences frequent nightmares due to having lost a particularly bloody engagement with a Mr. Mark IV. Accordingly, in consideration of the foregoing, we are authorized to accept as settlement in full release of plaintiff's claims, either: (1) the sum of $1,000,000; or (2) a free copy of CM2. Very truly yours, Herman Bagbage, Esq. Attorney for Plaintiffs [This message has been edited by Bad Ju Ju (edited 09-12-2000).] [This message has been edited by Bad Ju Ju (edited 09-12-2000).] [This message has been edited by Bad Ju Ju (edited 09-12-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ACTOR Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 Since I have the same problems, I think we ought to make this a class action suit. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M Hofbauer Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 ROTFLMAO. Demandment settled. ------------------ "Hehe nah u have some valid points mate but umm well be a bit nicer." (GAZ_NZ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 I would agree with M Hofbauer if only I knew what ROTFLMAO stood for, and while we're on the subject, what about AFAIK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael emrys Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: I would agree with M Hofbauer if only I knew what ROTFLMAO stood for, and while we're on the subject, what about AFAIK? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> 1. I very much regret to inform you that without necessary authorization you have come into possession of restricted information, to wit the acronyms of two Top Secret military organizations. 2. A party of officers will be arriving at your residence within the hour to take you into custody. Peaceful coöperation is sincerely advised. Signed: The Assistant Deputy Secretary in Charge of Obscure Rules Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M Hofbauer Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 IIRC and AFAIK, AFAIK stands for as far as I know IIRC, IIRC stands for if I recall correctly IMO, IMO stands for in my opinion (sometimes IMHO = in my humble opinion) RTFM - something you should tell the FNGs (read the f-ing manual) wtf - what the f... *g* = grin LOL = laughing out loud, rotflmao = rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off rotflmaopmp = rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off, pissing my pants I am not making this up. (this info brought to you by the anarchistic cells of counter-revolution against the dictatorship of the two Top Secret military organizations and their obscure rules) ------------------ "Hehe nah u have some valid points mate but umm well be a bit nicer." (GAZ_NZ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 Oh no! not that, please! god NO!! I'll squeel, I'll tell all..its true I've been working for the other side ...I can give you names, dates, whatever but nooooooo, don't take me away from my CM!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 Thank you M H, I can now rest easy. I'd be willing to bet that there are many who don't know the acronyms but are worried about appearing dumb. Well I am dumb so there's no point being worried about it And for Herr Emrys gestapo security officers?....I waft a smelly one in their general direction... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonzoAttacker Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 My spouse jusst read your post and demands to be part of the civil action. BTW my spouse and I met on the net! See you all on the battlefront! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullethead Posted September 13, 2000 Share Posted September 13, 2000 From the Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe, LLP Re: Demand for Payment of Damages by Big Time Software, et al (hereinafter, "hogwash") To: Herman Bagbage, Esq. Dear Sir: This firm received with much amusement the abovementioned document of hogwash recently sent by you to our client, Big Time Software (hereinafter, "BTS"). You may inform your clients that while they have our deepest sympathies for their many problems, none of them are the fault of BTS or any of its products. Therefore, they shall get no recovery from BTS. Specifically: 1. Combat Mission: Beyond Overlord (hereinafter, "CMBO") is not addicting. Alternatively, even if it is, BTS had no foreknowledge of this, as shown by their gross and repeated under-estimation of the number of units that would sell. 2. Mr. Bleadum Wight, Esq., Mr. Ju Ju's direct superior at his place of employment, will testify that Mr. Ju Ju's standards of personal demeanor and hygiene, and the quantity and quality of his work, have always been of an abyssmal level, from the beginning of his employment and before any exposure to CMBO. 3. Dr. U. R. Nutz, PhD, Mr. Ju Ju's physician, will testify that any loss of consortium is the result of an embarassing pre-existing condition detected before Mr. Ju Ju's exposure to CMBO. We are further prepared to present the real reason why Mr. Ju Ju does not know that Mrs. Ju Ju is alive, should you press this issue. 4. Any alleged PTSD suffered by Mr. Ju Ju as a result of actions taken by Mr. Mark IV is irrelevant to the issues, if any, between BTS and your clients. Res inter alios acta alteri nocere non debet. Accordingly, go soak your head. Sincerely, Sookem Drai, Attorney for BTS ------------------ -Bullethead Want a naval sim? Check out Raider Operations at www.historicalgames.bizland.com/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted September 14, 2000 Share Posted September 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bullethead: Accordingly, go soak your head. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Is this official law terminology? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manx Posted September 14, 2000 Share Posted September 14, 2000 Funniest post i've read in a long time, nice one guy's!. Glad to see the board is back on track after its recent upheavals. ------------------ COMBAT MISSIONS- The Source For CM Ops & Scenarios WWW.COMBATMISSIONS.CO.UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullethead Posted September 14, 2000 Share Posted September 14, 2000 I said: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Accordingly, go soak your head<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Stuka asked: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Is this official law terminology?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, but the official version would get me banned ------------------ -Bullethead Want a naval sim? Check out Raider Operations at www.historicalgames.bizland.com/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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