chrisl Posted November 20, 2000 Share Posted November 20, 2000 Put me down for three (3) votes for Mark IV. He's a worthless sack of salt-water, but I can always use some new t-shirts. ------------------ Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 20, 2000 Share Posted November 20, 2000 I vote for Germanboy. As a newbie, I can safely say that Germanboy is our hero. I speak for all of the newbies out there who have posters of Andreas in our bathrooms (water closets). If he doesn't win, then I deny ever posting here in the first place. It simply wasn't me. ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruno Weiss Posted November 20, 2000 Share Posted November 20, 2000 I don't think I understand the ballot? Which candidate is the third hole from the left, and the second line down? Furthermore, in view of the potentiality of hanging chad, I demand that in line with the Miranda Rights, that as voters we are first read our Chad Rights. "You have the right to vote, if you waive your right to vote, then you may choose an Absentee Voter to represent you. If you cannot afford an absentee voter, then a Public Voter will be appointed by the court to represent you. In the event your chad hangs, or becomes pregnant then you have a right to a recount. If you cannot afford a recount, then a Public Relations Firm will be appointed to represent you. Do you understand these rights?" Furthermore, in as much as all previous votes were cast "prior" to the Chad Rights being read, I therefore proclaim all votes here-to-fore cast as invalid, and that they must be tossed out. I demand a revote! ------------------ "Gentlemen, you may be sure that of the three courses open to the enemy, he will always choose the fourth." -Field Marshal Count Helmuth von Moltke, (1848-1916) [This message has been edited by Bruno Weiss (edited 11-20-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted November 20, 2000 Share Posted November 20, 2000 I vote for myself,as I have not played any of these individuals and have nothing to do with this election. ------------------ Nicht Schiessen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 20, 2000 Author Share Posted November 20, 2000 Oooh, tough crowd. A real bunch of nihilists. Let them eat chads... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted November 20, 2000 Share Posted November 20, 2000 This thread is a hasbeen broken old down hackneyed dead horse. The new thread (for lawyers and the legal professsion is at http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/012780.html ------------------ The Lawyer's credo: Covering the earth like a plague of locusts - Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 Well, the outcome of this election will leave the winner with no clear mandate. We all know that MarkIV, who is a fine upstanding citizen and good CM player, is now tampering with the ballots. Now you have to ask yourself. Why does MarkIV duck my challenge to a celebrity deathmatch for the grand prize? IF his sound victory against the Lawyer was not a fluke, then he should have no trouble dispatching me, and taking this wonderful movie home. But, his floundering, and continual political maneuvering make me suspect that he doubts himself. Perhaps HE HIMSELF considers his victory a fluke. Well, there's one way to settle this. that takes into account the will of the voters, and that is for MARKY MARK IV to join me in a public brawl. The winner will be left with a clear mandate, and will be able to govern the movie with authority and conviction. So I call to you in a bipartisan way, MARKIV, lets step beyond party politics, and try to give each other a well thought out, and thorough arse-whoopin!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 21, 2000 Author Share Posted November 21, 2000 Oooohh, I could smell that one coming from the Captain a long time before it got here. It's a real paint-peeler, too! He's mad as hell and he ain't gonna take it no more. Woooweee! Now listen up, Captain. I'm not gonna say this again. The movie shall go to its rightful owner as soon as I parse the voting the way I like it. You knew the rules going in. This ain't no party. This ain't no disco. This ain't no foolin' around. Got it?? You can challenge Mark-O all you want, but you must also Face The Lawyer in a re-match that will toast your socks and put a halt (at least temporarily) to your crotch-hugging manipulation of vital parts. This time it will be QB to the Death! No more hiding behind Sweetheart Scenarios. No, no, no.... You and Mr. Mark are both Dead Men Walking. You crossed the line by dissing The Lawyer in your desperate attempt to WIN THE PRIZE. There can be NO pardon. NO forgiveness. NO redemption. After beating you both, I expect to have the movie back by Christmas. No sweat. You know, I'm beginning to feel a lot like George Peppard, my Hero. Come to me, my dear Capucine.... ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 11-20-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 This, my friends, is what is referred to as a Rush to Judgement! If da glove dont fit, you must acquit! Where is Johnny Cochran when you need him??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 My Dear Foo: I do not consent to a death-match for the Cup because it is <FONT SIZE="5">MINE.</FONT> I will (upon receipt of the coveted prize) immediately place it back in jeopardy by challenging you to take it from me. This will give me lots of time to watch it, not rewind it, and spill scotch and sticky food in it. In the highly unlikely event you are able to snatch it away, I will expect you to do the same, to some other deserving soul. Assuming it still works. And thus the legend of the Lawyer's Cup will become a deathless, if somewhat filthy, piece of CM lore. Those are my terms. I am ahead in the balloting and it is mine to lose. When do these bloody results get certified, is what I want to know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maj. Bosco Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 I think everyone should remember exactly what the "prize" is. In light of that I vote for Lawyer, in the hope that the tape will one day accidentally find it's way to his VCR and strike him braindamaged and unable to practice his foul profession. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 21, 2000 Author Share Posted November 21, 2000 ATTENTION: THE POLLS WILL CLOSE IN ONE MINUTE ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lawyer: ATTENTION: THE POLLS WILL CLOSE IN ONE MINUTE <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then I just have to vote for me again. That makes three votes in total and I demand a recount. ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-21-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 21, 2000 Author Share Posted November 21, 2000 I cast 10 votes for Lawyer. ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 21, 2000 Author Share Posted November 21, 2000 THE POLLS ARE NOW OFFICIALLY CLOSED. ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 No Fair!! I have my ballot postmarked before 12:00 today. My vote is for Germanboy. ------------------ Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less. -Anonymous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 The state of Splinty demands that the votes be recounted by hand! Or foot or any other appendage that comes to mind. ------------------ Nicht Schiessen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 Well, not wanting to pull a Bush here, but since I have clearly won, I would like to nominate my cabinet (Hiram and I think it was Speedy), and ask for my prize to be send to me. I will put it up for competition immediately, by offering it to the first person who loses a ladder game to me. Lord help me if I want to see George Peppard on a screen near me. ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-21-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted November 21, 2000 Author Share Posted November 21, 2000 Well, it looks like Germanboy and Lawyer just slipped in under the wire to close out the voting for the Lawyer's Cup. Let's count up the total number of votes for the Cup. Mannheim Tanker got NONE. That's great news because he is stuck out in the woods somewhere, and doesn't even know this election is happening. How can he miss winning what he doesn't know about? Now, THAT's real democracy in action, Washington style. Captain Foobar got SLIGHTLY more than NONE because Rune cast his secondary conditional vote for the Captain. Strangely, Foobar failed to vote for himself, which indicates that in his heart he knows he is not worthy. Tough break, Captain. Germanboy did quite well (and certainly better than Foobar) by gaining 3 votes. Pretty good, considering he wasn't even in the tournament. But write-in votes are permitted in the Lawyer's democracy. Accordingly, Splinty also rings up one vote for himself. Good effort, Boys, but no cigar. Now it gets neck and neck for the Real Winner of the Lawyer's Cup. Mark IV garnered approximately 7 votes, with uncertainty hanging over the word "several" which Mr. Mark used in voting for himself. Hmmm.... Could be grounds for a re-count. Lawyer is clearly the Popular Vote Winner, with a total of 12 votes. No room to quibble here. Also, there were various mutterings, scratchings, and ballot nonsense posted by russellmz, jdmorse, Chupacabra, Montecello, and Bruno Weiss. Using my Florida re-count system, I determine that these were really meant to be votes for Lawyer, after adjusting the chads a little bit. Thus, Lawyer is now up to 17 popular votes in the poll. To avoid a contested election, however, we better have another look at the votes cast for Lawyer's closest rival, Mark IV, to make sure the Winner can take home the Cup with no stain of dishonor over how he won the Prize. Thus, we must determine the exact meaning of "several" when measuring Mark IV's vote total. More than a few? The dictionary advises that several means more than two or three, but not too large. We must also consider that Mark IV did, in fact, Beat the Lawyer in actual CM battle, earning a total victory and an insanely high score as determined by the CM AI point counter. Without judging the demonstrated inequity of the CM point count system, this entitles Mark IV to win all the electoral votes generated by the game itself under the "winner take all" system. These electoral votes are measured by counting the 6 finalists in the voting tally (including Germanboy and Spinty) and adding Charles and Steve as the creators of CM, for a total of 8 electoral votes. So then, taking Mark IV's admittedly low real popular vote total of 7, giving him the benefit of the doubt that "several" means at least 3, and adding in the 8 electoral votes, we are legally required to award Mark IV 18 votes for the Lawyer's Cup. Unfortunately, this amount just beats out Lawyer's own total of 17 votes. So Gentle Jackals, it appears we have the strange result of the clear Popular Vote Winner, The Lawyer, barely losing out to the legal count vote winner, Mark IV, by a single vote. I guess this proves again that every Jackal's votes is important, and we should all take our voting responsibilities seriously. If Lawyer were a lesser man, he might be tempted to challenge the fairness of the system that produced Mark IV as the Lawyer's Cup Winner. But hey, you guys know me better than that. I care more about the harmony and sound governance of the CM People. Thus, I shall graciously concede the election to Mark IV. It's no big deal, though. I'm fixing to take the Cup back in our next game. I shall formally announce the Cup Winner and the prizes awarded in a new thread on the forum. Special Message to Hiram Sedai-- I don't know what hold Germanboy exerts over you, but one must wonder about your motives in being such an obvious toady on his behalf by voting late for him. Methinks it is not a healthy relationship, and I do not wish to know more about it. Thank you, Gentle Jackals. Lawyer ------------------ Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 My fellow CMers: I gratefully accept your mandate. This is a time of healing, and time for us all to work together to reach a common goal. A time, not for recriminations and partisanship, but for moving ahead with our agenda for our families and children. Germanboy's entry visa to the US is hereby revoked. Hiram is a free-lance toady and will attach himself like a barnacle to whatever hull sinks near him. No one else voted for Germanboy despite his delusions. Thanks to my many supporters (though in Babra's case, what he is doing to my panzers cancels the preceeding thanks out). You are all hereby admitted to the prestigious "Friends of Mark IV" society. Foobar: I bear you no extra malice for all the awful things you've said in the heat of the election. My normal quotient of malice should suffice. You will be notified when the next round of the Lawyer's Challenge is to be held. Triumphantly Yours, Mark IV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rune Posted November 21, 2000 Share Posted November 21, 2000 Society of Friends? Rather be let loose naked in a tank of hungry alligators. [sit down Bauhaus]. Just remember a XXL tee shirt. hehehehe RUne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted November 22, 2000 Share Posted November 22, 2000 Friends, Gerbils, Hamsterfolk. Much has happened in the last 24 hours. And although there have been many allegations of mischief, I hold no ill will. For the good of this great nation, I extend a hand of friendship to the so-called winner of this contest. We must work together in these trying times ahead. I acknowldege and congratulate MarkIV as the undisputed winner of this contest. You dirty Bastard. Bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted November 22, 2000 Share Posted November 22, 2000 Just don't forget who cast 3 votes in your favor. I prefer L or XL. ------------------ Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted November 23, 2000 Share Posted November 23, 2000 Back from the woods! What can I say: One shot, one kill Now what's all this nonsense about me not getting any votes!? What about the absentee ballots. And what about all of those damned chads lying about on the floor - and Lawyer, you have one stuck in your teeth. This thread had me laughing my butt off! And to all you voters out there that I campaigned so hard for - thanks for nothing! May your men run around in circles like the Lawyer's. BTW: My Panther was NOT taken out by a bazooka. More accurately, his zook nearly pissed his pants when he saw that Krupp steel bearing down on him and inadvertantly pulled the trigger. My Panther merely ran into the round. Yeah! That's it! If you search around in all the chads on the floor, I'm sure you'll find some votes with MY name on them. And Germanboy, I didn't marry anyone from Mannheim, although the girls there WERE fun! My ex- was Canadian, which is a far cry worse than German ------------------ edit: one week in the wilderness and I STILL can't spell. "Oooh, tough crowd. A real bunch of nihilists. Let them eat chads..." - Lawyer (who else!?) [This message has been edited by Mannheim Tanker (edited 11-22-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted November 23, 2000 Share Posted November 23, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: And Germanboy, I didn't marry anyone from Mannheim, although the girls there WERE fun! My ex- was Canadian, which is a far cry worse than German <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damn, the pain, the pain. I also have a Canadian ex that is far worse than any German exes. Guah... Thanks for reminding me - not. I commiserate and suggest you should be given a prize for that pain. Bloody Nov Scotia girls. If I was not already busy disliking Americans, I would dislike Canucks too. ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-22-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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