The History of Mr. Peng (The formative years)

[Naja]

IN THE BEGINNING, Peng's world was devoid of smilies. Strangely though he felt their presence in his pod. Life in a pod can be enlightening without the crutches of other cultures: smell, touch, fear, hate . Peng, safe in his pod, taught himself to read and write. Soon bored, as so many juvenile Pod people become, Peng immersed himself in spelling, punctuation and the finer points of prose (one liners being a thing for the average pod plebe.) Peng soon made a name for himself. Like swordsmen of olde he would challenge other Pod people of "equal" stature proving himself master to all - and yet emptiness would tarnish these youthful victories of erudite ramblings. Isolating himself from the secluded pods he bathed in phrases and syntax, verb conjugation and pronominal adjectives, blurring the line of present vernacular and the revered erstwhile prose. With this mighty sword Peng grew in stature and renown. His ability to twist meaningless jibberish into works of literary art reminiscent of the ancient Chinese proverbs hidden deep within the bowels of fortune cookies, Peng's influence and renown soon spread beyond the patch that would be pod. Those were the happy times. He soon grew weary of the accolades that were pod and strove for more, reaching for what can't be seen. Peng, like great men before him have done, left his people for the unknown. His people were mournful to see him go. The myth of the pen was born. Packing only the essentials: pen, paper, dictionary, thesaurus, and his beloved Pod U ring, Peng leapt into the unknown with gallant errantry.

Forty days and forty nights into his journey he met a stranger. Greeting him in the customary Pod fashion he glanced up, stared for the consuetudinary 5 seconds, and thus satisfied, engaged himself in his writings. The stranger, clearing his voice, spoke as clear and beautifully as any song bird might strive. Long did his melody grace God's green earth but alas! Peng was gone (Pod people become bored easily and are notorious for leaving for extended periods of time.) The stranger, realizing his error - Pod people are notorious for not understanding or appreciating the spoken word - spent the next 40 days writing what he thought was an eloquent saga (probably the best ever written by his people.) He took the scroll containing the paragraph in its entirety and searched for Peng. Behind the grassy knoll he found Peng immersed yet again in scholarly pursuits. The smile of the stranger grew notably wider. After the customary greeting, Peng eyed the piece of paper like a blind man eager for light. The stranger watched as disappointment filled Peng's face - but the stranger could not tell, for his people had but few expressions for feeling. Peng reached for the red pen he kept for just such occasions tucked smartly in his upper left breast pocket. The stranger watched in horror as Peng slashed ruthlessly, yet with such grace that he watched, entranced, the sacred manuscript's brutal violation. From deep within, the stranger awoke from the hypnosis that is Peng, the loud hammer blows of the hateful red marsh pen striking the innocence, detecting each and every erratum with surgical precision, separating the vernacular of one race from the writing of another. Exposing the stranger's people forever to the torment of the written word was a "D" (being the foremost among the hated letters) atop the scroll, accompanied by bilious phrases throughout: "incorrect enantiosis", "unclear constructional homonymity!", "first declension verb?!" The horror that is the written word! The disembodied stranger took the bloody document leaving the chosen one who should have been the salvation of his people. The stranger vowed revenge and destruction upon the tools that Peng effortlessly wields. "Peng will use smilies! With God as my witness - he WILL use smilies!!", the stranger roared to the Heavens. Like a plague he vowed destruction to the Pod people. The stranger had offered the world to Peng and with less than a smile was dismissed out of hand. The stranger turned away from Peng and uttered a nonsensical phrase (even for a smilie), "Smilie says, 'Die a lot now.' " How could he know that this assinine phrase would awake something deep within Peng? Not knowing why he looked at the departing stranger, momentarily tearing himself from his writing, he uttered the words 'die a lot now.' History cannot be altered; enemies were made that day.

[Stuka]

He He

Cop that Peng!

[MrPeng]

Naja:

Brilliant!

We will let this stand unchallenged and bow humbly to your wit.

Peng

[Speedy]

That Naja deserves a smiley.

[Naja]

Being aware of the fact that including pictures with text has become quite fashionable in this era of books on tape, I have included the inset picture of Chapter II: "The Temptation of Peng". It is said to be the inspiration for many an artist, not the least of which is Durer - who it will be recalled, rebelled against the artist of his day by not using yellow smilies in all his work (probably too hard to get the yellow just right.) I fear, Mr. Peng, that society has reached that point again in history where we will once again take hammer and brush to great works of art and with the old English battlecry "knock 'is bloody block off and replace it with a smilie!" I'm sure you recall being in a museum looking intently at a disfigured statue and overheard someone say "what happened to his smilie?"

ps: Thanks Peng! I enjoyed writing it - made for good bedtime reading for the kids with much explaining about Pod people and the early divergence in the evolutionary chain leading to the smilies, who by the way you will recall live much longer than Pods. Must be the old cliche' 'the more you know, the more you have to think' and that leads to many quandries better left answered by a Pod. As can be seen by this BBS smilies produce quite rapidly and are known to litter more than the customary 1.782 offspring per household although they tend to intermarry thus retaining a rather limited genetic pool, Mr. Redface being the equivalent of the redheaded step-child: not being cool enough to be included in splash announcements, and not mean enough to convey the required emphasis.

[This message has been edited by Naja (edited 06-14-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Naja (edited 06-14-2000).]

[Guest Germanboy]

I found that Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' series has been strongly influenced by the Myth of Peng, as the following quote, dealing with the arrival of the stranger shows. It also explains what the stranger was doing there in the first place:

"I follow the kitten through the shifting sands, Stumble on old legs: I feel older than P'eng. And then I hear the murmur of voices.

And from across the plain, I hear the sounds of madness"

The Sandman Vol. X, 'the wake' written by Neil Gaiman, Jon J Muth, Charles Vess.

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Andreas

The powers of accurate perception are often called cynicism by those who do not possess them. (forgot who said it)