aka_tom_w Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 Dr. Suess Goes To Florida Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand? If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like them, AL GORE I am. Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean, Dubya has won? This is not fair, this is not fun. Let's count them upside down this time. Let's count until the state is mine. I will not let this VOTE count stand. I do not like it, AL GORE I am. I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit. You have not heard the last of it. I'll count the ballots one by one And hold each one up to the sun. I'll count, recount, and count some more. You'll grow to hate this little chore. But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand. I do not like it, Al Gore I am. I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here. I've glued my desk chair to my rear. Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba, too, all telling me that I should sue. We find the Electoral College vile. RECOUNT the votes until I smile. We do not want this vote to stand. We do not like it, AL GORE I am. How shall we count this ballot box? Let's count it standing in our socks. Shall we count this one in a tree? And who shall count it, you or me? We cannot, cannot count enough. We must not stop, we must be tough. I do not want this vote to stand. I do not like it, AL GORE I am. I've counted till my fingers bleed. And still can't fulfill my counting need. I'll count the tiles on the floor. I'll count, and count, and count some more. And I will not say that I am done Until the counting says I've won. I will not let this vote count stand. I do not like it, AL GORE I am. What's that? What are you trying to say? You think the current count should stay? You do not like my counting schemes? It makes you tense, gives you bad dreams? Foolish people, you're wrong you'll see. Your only care should be for me. I WILL NOT LET THIS VOTE COUNT STAND! I DO NOT LIKE IT. AL GORE I AM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sgt CDAT Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 Sounds about right! Been wanting to get in on one of these locked up ones and here is my chance! Hi Mom! This brought to you by The Sore Loserman 2000 Campaign, All Right reserved. [This message has been edited by Sgt CDAT (edited 11-27-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilhammer Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 I just wanted everyone to know that I have initiated a class action lawsuit against the State of Virginia. I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the paper. In summary, I bought a Lotto ticket several weeks ago. After reviewing my picks last night I noticed that I (in a honest mistake) picked the wrong numbers. What I actually meant to pick were the correct numbers! Accordingly, I should be awarded the 40 million dollar lotto prize that was issued that week. I'm certain others made the same dreadful mistake. I'm also reviewing previously unclaimed winning tickets because I also have the right to claim them as mine. I have also filed another lawsuit against the State of Virginia. After thinking about my SAT scores, I feel there is a chance that I may have punched the wrong answers on several questions, or selected two answers if I wasn't certain, when I took the exam 17 years ago. If I had been treated fairly, I might have grown up to be a Bill Gates, or, heaven forbid, even a Bill Clinton. The questions were (at times) very misleading and the exam score card was quite confusing. Thanks for your understanding on this serious matter. And please feel free to join in on the lawsuit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tris Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 Who said "conservatives" didn't have senses of humor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 Me! "if you're not a libeal when you're young, you have no heart, if you're not a conservative when you're older, you have mind" - Winston Churchill PeterNZ ------------------ "I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas "WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 I actually attended a Republican round table meeting here on voter recount two weeks ago fighting for a statewide recount in Florida. As an active Republican for 10 years, Bush's legitimacy was more important to me than hewing to the party line, and while many fellow Republicans came up to me after the meeting and said, I wish I could say that in public it was soundly condemned. There was even talk by the more extreme members of the round table (blow hards really) of going to Florida and burning down a few retirement homes if Gore won. As funny as Tom's rhyme is, Republicans won the battle and lost the war. By getting down in the mud, throwing away States rights, throwing away local determinism, and throwing away legitimacy for Bush over the next four years, we have just bought ourselves a lot of pain. Fact is, in a hand recount of the state Bush would have likely won anyway, no big deal -- let the democrats look bad whining about butterfly ballots. Just wait, this will come back to haunt us, especially if Bush tries to do anything controversial or pays off some of the debts he ran up defeating McCain. Half the country voted against him and half of our own party in polls said they would have preferred McCain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 i prefer this one =) From Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher "How the Grinch Stole the Election" Every Jew down in Jewville liked Election Day a lot But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking By Wednesday the latest I'll be back to my drinking Election Day came and the voting was close At one point the Grinch started to boast "It's the Grinch by a nose!" all the newsmen exclaimed Even Dan Rather, who was clearly insane But was he the winner? Not so fast Al Gore called him up and said "Grinch, kiss my ass" The race was too tight to say who was elected The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess But Hymen and Herschel and dear old Aunt Bess Were too senile to vote for the one they liked They punched the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets And complained about fraud, not to mention the heat The Grinch said something "that couldn't be" go sir This election is perfectly kosher Then a judge ruled that each vote be counted by hand hey said the Grinch that's not what my brother Jeb had planned His lawyers filed motions, injunctions, and writs Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits But just as the Grinch thought the deal had gone through He met Cindy Lou Lipsitz aged ninety-two "Why", she cried, "did you steal our election?" He just laughed and gave her a lethal injection They say the Grinch's ego grew three sizes that day Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way So here's a lesson for now and for later Don't blame me I voted for Nader! my fave part is when al gore calls up the grinch ------------------ "They had their chance- they have not lead!" - GW Bush "They had mechanical pencils- they have not...lead?" - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Big Time Software Posted November 27, 2000 Share Posted November 27, 2000 Sgt CDAT, you got your life's wish fulfilled Locking this one up now... Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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