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speedbump2

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Posts posted by speedbump2

  1. Bouncing of the bottom of the page....

     

    Updates!!

     

    Noba is teaching me how to have a knife fight in the rain and dark.  So far 2 cats killed for 1 brave IS!!  The vermin from Germany will be repulsed.  Oh yes, and something about touch Rugby...I mean really touch Rugby?  Note to self: update Wikipedia's entry for Oxymoron.

     

    Nidan is teaching me how to play Black Sea.  Actually he is showing me what it looks like to have the entire horizon shaded by the pyres of burning armored vehicles.  Beautiful.

     

    Boo Radley is teaching me how to advance down constrained lanes in the attack.  His Tommies are running....

     

    Palladium, after a promising day or two of posts, has disappeared from the scene.  Likely the turn I am waiting for will show another horizon shaded by the pyres of burning armored vehicles....

     

    Speedbump

  2. Could someone pls briefly explain what this tool does?  

     

    76, if I can use your first name, the utility will automatically monitor your Dropbox folders for new game turns.  When it sees a new file from your opponent, it automatically copies the game file into your incoming turn folder on your computer.  The utility will then show as a turn available to play.  As soon as the turn is played and saved, it will copy the new game file out to the Dropbox folder automatically, and flag the game as waiting for your opponent.

     

    If you have more than one game going it makes it much easier to keep track of where you are.  There is also a chat function and a notes function applied to each game played. 

  3. Whew good thing you didn't ask my favorite color or which species of dung beetle is the prehistoric ancestor of Aussies.

     

    See you are in good hands....

     

    UPDATES:

     

    Boo Radley has the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My 37mm Armored Cars of DeathTM picked off his evil huns with little effort.

     

    Nidan1 will be ever grateful for his 10 day vacation, without which he would have met the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My M4 Sherman Tanks of DeathTM have brought numerous walls down around his pixeltruppen's heads.

     

    Noba will be ever grateful for choosing an extremely long scenario, without which he would have met the ignominious fate of being the opponent to break my 10 year losing streak.  My 50mm AT Gun of DeathTM continues to pick off his British Armored Cars (who makes armored cars with only four wheels?!?) without mercy.

     

    Palladium has been granted the opportunity to extend my one match winning streak.  We have downloaded the new Black Sea battleground and of course the gamey bastidge chose Americans and gave me Ukrainians attacking across two miles of open fields.  

  4. How do I write an essay on something that doesn't exist? Kind of like the essay "dates of Stuka's that did not get a restraining order on him".

     

    This, good sir, is the challenge.  Rise to it and you will be one step closer to Kaniggethood.  

     

    Additional homework for challenging the process towards Knighthood:

     

    1) What... is your name?

    2) What... is your quest?

    3) What... is the capital of Assyria?

  5. Excellent let's see if the squire hunt is as fun as it was last time. Oh gawd speedbump tell there isn't another essay requirement on aussie's and historical precedent in squire selection.

     

    Actually, you do have an essay.  Give me a 100 word essay on the successful Aussie squires in the MBT.  I am sure that will be more than enough space to cover the subject.

  6.  

     

     

    To say nothing of my fame amongst the Classics majors; one should cherish the rare opportunities to build consensus. On the subject of Autocorrect, Sir Speedbump, the singular of 'alumni' is 'alumnus', though I would not doubt the existence of multiple chattering voices in that skull of yours. How are you all today? Do the men in white know where you are?

     

     

    My abject apologies to you Palladium.  Your nickname does in fact have a Classics reference.  From here on out, you will be associated with the phallic statue of ancient Greece and Rome.

     

    QW1P8DM.png?1

  7.  

     
    Speaking of lamentations, the mead is decent, but there is an appalling shortage of good beer in this den of infirmity... {rummage} ... Coorsweiser? What is this?!

     

     

     

    As much as it pains me to admit, I must agree with this "Palladium".  The other miscreants of the MBT are drinking swill, nay, watered down water.  I, good "sir", am imbibing a more robust and flavorful beverage.  I recommend the Six Point Resin.  A hearty Imperial IPA with a 103 ibu and 9.1% alcohol content.  The average Cesspool denizen would curl up and die should they ever have an opportunity to drink this elixir.

     

    Now to you and your nickname.  I hate to break the bad news to you, but your autocorrect feature (clearly required) has changed your attempt to refer to yourself as Paladin, to Palladium.  So the attempt to ingratiate yourself with 13 year old Dungeons and Dragons players has gone awry.  The good news is Chemists everywhere have become your biggest fans.  Of course, that means now you are popular with 40 year old Dungeons and Dragons players, so maybe it is not such a loss after all.

     

    I don't have the energy to roll out from under the table this morning to strike you about the head and neck with my gauntlet.  So consider yourself challenged.  I expect an email at myers_jeff@sbcglobal.net with your challenge.

     

    Speedbump

  8. Three days it has been without a sign of habitation, and the Cesspool door creaks loudly when pushed... oh, wait that's Joe Shaw. Is there any life in this old place, or has Dalem's poetry done you all in?

     

    Good Knights! -- I use that term reservedly, as I haven't seen a single one of you jump in an 'L' shape yet -- while you were snoring in varying degrees of drunken stupor, a new game has been released to an unsuspecting public. To arms! To horse! To armed horses! To horses under each arm! The Breadbasket of Europe beckons, and by the shores of the Dnieper River rest new hamlets, fresh for the cratering.

     

    Why sprawl you sleeping? I remember days when 300 posts was the magic number, when the denizens of the Mutha Beautiful Thread would storm forth to pastures and conquests new! Has the old spark been lost? Are the old grognards gone forever? Have the beer and pretzels finally run out? Say it isn't so, and let the glory of the immortal Peng Challenge wax eternal!

     

    "Groan"...

     

    {speebump slowly cracks open his eyelids, as the dim light feels like daggers to his bloodshot eyes}...

     

    Looking up, it takes a moment to realize he is looking at the underside of a bar room table.  It is covered with various hues of bubble gum and other unmentionable remnants.

     

    "Ah, how did I find my way under the Aussies table?!?  The last I remember, we of the House Shavian, were toasting our many victories at the head table."

     

    "And what is this noise? Arms? Horses? Horse's arms? I didn't know horses had arms!?!"

     

    "Oh, yes.  I remember what comes next....SOD OFF!!!"

     

    {speedbump rolls over, hugging his flagon of mead to his chest and returns to the arms of Morpheus...}

     

    Wait!!  Before we return to visions of lovely young things and exploding Armored Cars....UPDATES!!!

     

    Noba continues to lose Armored Cars, as he watches my convoys motoring past, as if out on a Sunday drive...

     

    Boo Radley has admitted my tactical prowess is on par with General Patton himself (and not just Patton, but a "freaking Patton")....

     

    Nidan1 has returned from a cruise around the Caribbean, likely full of Norovirus and sunburned, only to be reminded of his impending defeat, welcome to reality my friend...

  9. The MBT is threatening to devolve into "sticks and stones"....so, UPDATES!!

     

    Noba is suffering from my 50mm Anti Tank gun of Death!  A transplant from the future, where laser guidance is the norm, he has lost multiple armored cars at over 1,500 meters...I am awaiting his surrender.

     

    Boo Radley didn't believe it possible that a scenario designer would start the two sides within 100 meters from each other.  He, too, has lost armored cars...I am awaiting his surrender.

     

    Nidan1 still lounges on a beach, avoiding his impending doom.  My renovation project with high explosive will continue upon his return...I will await his surrender.

     

    sburke, House Persiflage should not have a monopoly on verse in the Cesspool.  Break out the pipes and perform for the audience that love sonnet between the Aussie and his jumbuck....

  10. You thought I was posting about Noba? How quaint. Be sure to report this to your physician or case worker...if you can remember.

     

    Michael

     

    Oh, I understood who you were referring to.  I simply was trying to be nice and didn't want to point out to the group that you have trouble understanding the subjects of sentences and pronouns....

  11. Fail. I sent you a turn and you sent a file reply, without sending an email to go with it. Therefore I did not check Drop Box.

    Your incompetence is almost perfect, which obviously shows that at being incompetent you are following in OFJ's footsteps.

    Perfectly.

     

    Noba.

     

    "Fail"?  Hmmm, Dropbox must work different in Aussie Land.  When a file gets updated in my folders, I get a notification....There is also the option of CM Helper that will let you know.  That's OK, I will hold your hand all the way through the process.  Maybe it will be easier to lose that way....

  12. I am sorry, but I'd like to change that essay subject to Australian Sheep Population Explosion, Direct Correlation to Aussie Population Growth or sign of Stuka getting his lifetime Viagra prescription

     

    A little wordy.  Remember we must be ready to self-edit.  How about: Australian Sheep Population Explosion, Direct Correlation to Stuka Getting His Lifetime Viagra Prescription?  (Note the question mark is my question regarding the overall wording, not a question as to the correlation).  That sounds better...

  13. I was not! I was looking for my contact lense, but thanks for the boot. Turns out my contact was a few feet further and I was able to find it with your, er, assistance.

     

    sburke, do not, I repeat, do not encourage the Aussies.  In fact, you should probably act as the aristocratic English used to: walk by with your nose in the air, breathing through your mouth to avoid the stench...For this transgression, you are assigned a 4,000 word essay on: Australian Sheep Population Explosion, Direct Correlation to Aussie Population Growth or Coincidence?

     

    Updates:

     

    Nidan1 is avoiding his imminent defeat through the gamey tactic of a Caribbean Vacation...

     

    Noba is avoiding his imminent defeat through the gamey tactic of not returning a turn...

     

    Boo Radley is avoiding his imminent defeat through the gamey tactic of looking for the most gamey PBEM scenario possible.  He wasn't happy with Tigers vs. Universal Carriers...

     

    Bastiges, one and all...

  14. Oooh a demerit, are you trying to keep me in after school too?

     

    (try to answer that without editing if you can)

     

    What has the Cesspool become in my absence?  A playground in which middle school students argue over whose crayoned art project looks less like a three legged goat?  Maybe you should challenge each other to meet after school behind the janitor's shed.  Sheesh...

     

    And now for the greatly anticipated updates!!

     

    Nidan1, in an unseemly attempt at avoiding his impending doom, has left the country....

     

    Boo Radley has started a new scenario in which he gets Tigers, and I get those cute Mini Cooper predecessors called Universal Carriers...

     

    In my defense of the entire Western European land mass, Noba has advanced as far as Bavaria.  At least I think so, as my 2nd SS Peashooter Company has yet to spot the oncoming hordes.  I expect it will take another 25 turns before they are able to advance to within range...

  15. Additional updates:

     

    Nidan1, who respects the Shavian House by returning a turn every day (as opposed to other less respectful "opponents"), watched in horror as another building, housing his weakened infantry, was dropped by my Shermans of Light .

     

    Noba, taking a lesson from the disreputable Boo Radley, has sent a new scenario that appears to encompass the entire Western Europe landmass, with which I have two peashooters and a rubber band gun to defend.

     

    Boo Radley, taking a lesson from the disreputable Noba, has hacked my movement orders causing my conscripted Poles to run out onto the riverbank they were defending, only to be cut down by the despicable Ami... I await a new game file....

     

    And sburke, Squire extraordinaire of the Shavian House led by our liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House, has submitted his doctoral thesis on "An Anthropological Analysis of Aussie "Cultural" Development: Determination of the Greatest Influences; Criminal History, In-Breeding, or Sheep".  I anticipate that with the return of our liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House he will be defending his thesis...oh, who's kidding who, not much defense is required...

  16. If only Joe were here to tut at you for mangling the posts of your betters you'd be whistling out the other side of your dungeroos...

     

    speedbump, I must be sure to update the archives of the Shavian House. On this date in the year of our liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House, Stuka did in fact express regret that our liege Joe Shaw Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House was not present to admonish Boo for substandard posting performance.

     

    Granted the odds that this actually demonstrates any significant increase in Oddstralian intelligence are slim to none, it does lend credence to the theory that given enough monkeys eventually one will type something significant.

     

    So noted.  However, make the entry with the appropriate asterisk, as our Aussie "friend" Stuka ended his statement with a reference to dungaroos.  Clearly his fashion choice is geared to the Aussie version of Garanimals.  I find it hard to lend credence to someone dressed in bright colored children's clothing (with the matching animal tags so Stuka knows which pants go with which shirt).  

  17. Which expansion are you referring to? If the Gustav line module, no. If the still to be defined module that had been discussed to go to end of war, maybe and I would hope so.

     

    sburke, taking a break from your studies?!?  Get back to the MBT, the Aussies are starting to run wild again.  Get the DDT...

  18. Updates:

     

    Noba - burning halftracks, kitties and IV's everywhere!!  I await his Cease Fire...{technically true}

     

    Nidan1 - relearning the American lesson of "Peace through superior firepower".  Keep hiding your infantry in buildings and I will keep knocking them down.

     

    Boo Radley - continues to hide behind hedgerows and a river, rather then come to grips with my conscripted ditch diggers...

     

    I am slightly nauseated reading all of these Aussie posts. In fact, as I read the MBT, I am beginning to sound like Steve Irwin in my head.  Hence the nausea.  I blame laggards like dalem, who appears to have reached an age requiring hibernation in the winter.

     

    Quickly sburke, do something American to right my sense of the world.  You know, invent a game where the combined score of both opponents exceeds 3.

  19. The attention you guys are bestowing on him and your insistence on fantasizing about him is getting right creepy.  Aren't there some kind or rules here about that?

     

     

     

    Yes, Squire sburke, we reviewed this in the last lesson: Aussies are creepy.  That is the rule.  Now to reinforce the lesson, I would like a 3,500 word essay on how every character in Mad Max was creepy.

  20. Meanwhile, back at the front,

     

    Speedbump urges his Polish conscripts to take a couple of potshots across the river, to be answered with a withering (Yes, I said withering) return fire from about half an armored company.

    He's REALLY optimistic.

     

     

    Actually, they were throwing potatoes (about all I have left).  Americans can't appreciate a good pierogi...

     

     

    If I were playing any of you, you would be writhing in the grip of my superior play.

     

     

    More like scratching from your fleas and black flies....

  21. You keep repeating yourself, like it's a winning mantra, or sumfink. I do have to give you some credit though and it may be a back-handed bit of credit at that... at least you play other humans, not like Emrys who just plays with himself.

     

    Noba

     

    Are you kidding me?!!?  You mean I could be a Knight of the Shavian House without having to interact with Aussies??!?!?!  I thought I read in Section 468, paragraph 74, line 9 of the fine print of the MBT, that you had to play at least one PBEM game with a live opponent (preferably another Cesspool resident).  To think, I have sullied myself with the likes of Noba when I didn't have to...

     

    {wanders off, wailing and gnashing teeth}

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