speedbump2

See....gamey...

I blame you all for not providing more UPDATES!! After Noba gamily killed one of my lead tanks on the only bridge in the scenario (bottling up my entire assault force), I nobly allowed him the satisfaction of an ignoble win (after all, he gamily killed one of my tanks on the only bridge in the scenario). Now Noba is preparing to ignobly lose in a new scenario where there appears to be two bridges!! Boo Radley gamily offered a game in which my goal is to move a regiments worth of artillery, trucks, half tracks, jeeps and universal carriers in a retreat using a single zig zag road. He is ignobly sitting back and laughing as I have to set multi point pathways for a hundred vehicles every turn (because the damn things either don't move because of all of the confusion or they wander in random paths around perceived obstacles). I think he has killed a couple of trucks in 30 turns and I have scared a couple of his troopers. His maniacal laughter is getting on my nerves.... Nidan1 finally laid his weapons down and admitted defeat to the noble hordes from the East. After slogging through mud and forests, I was successful in overcoming the gamey use of mobile anti-aircraft guns in the anti-personnel role. After leaving half of my force immobilized in the mud, we finally overcame the resistance by throwing our mess kits at his scattered troops. Now I prepare to defend a military town against a similarly gamey force....

{Full body shiver and mild nausea...}

Well, Boo-Boo. I know you are cavorting over there, over the moon on finally shooting those big, bad guns towards the enemy instead of towards your own tents. However, I must point out that to be successful, you must actually hit something. Instead, you are doing a wonderful job aerating that field for the farmers. But to be fair, you did hit a jeep that had a broken oil line. Congrats!!

If memory serves, they retired my handle with honor. Now it hangs in the rafters with all of the other championship banners.

Sad, what age does to one's memory. In some ways it is clear as day (my posting style), yet other memories fade or become distorted (my game play). There is a reason my nom de guerre is speedbump, as in slow down the opponent as much as....

Sir dalem, we tangled head to head, in a tournament. You may remember me by my original handle: speedbump.

E pluribus unum: We prefer to think of it as your troops were placed on MY side of the map. We simply chose to adapt and overcome… Operendus secundus: This would be the AT gun that one-shotteted my noble Stug? Or the AT gun that appears in my LOS, only to disappear immediately prior to the orders phase? And please be careful, you are bordering on starting a grognardian conversation on optics and relative armor angles. This is a no-no in the Pool. The Tertiary Period: You are correct sir, dalem loves Minnesota truffles…. Do these jeans make my Postremus look fat?: Joes Shaw is the Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House

Clearly, CessPool members are not posting as they are waiting with bated breath for UPDATES!!! Noba continues to preen. Unjustly proud of the use of 16" artillery, from battleships no doubt. Meanwhile, I am stuck in the Conscript loop. Turn 1 = Enemy fires a pistol, Turn 2 = Conscripts panic, run away, Turn 3 = Conscripts recover, push them back forward, Turn 4 = Conscripts return randomly to enemy's LOS, Turn 5 = Rinse and Repeat. We will still win. Nidan1 continues to fall back, pressed by my ravening hordes of the Motherland. He too used the gamey tactic of using accurate artillery. And it appears he hacked the source code to immobilize over half of my armored units in mud. We will still win. My neighbor, Boo Radley, continues to wander aimlessly across the river trying to achieve LOS on my master PanzerTruppen. The combination of low slung Stugs and bocage has him frothing at the mouth. He was unable to use the same hacks as Nidan1 and Noba. He simply dropped his arty on empty roads. We will still win. speedbump

This thread needs more UPDATES: Noba is attempting to storm a small village in France defended by my press-ganged Russian conscripts. His hearty Americans have succeeded in fording the stream fronting the village, but appear to have forgotten ammunition, as Noba is complaining he is out. His Forward Observer appears to have forgotten his glasses, as well, as he is doing a nice job tearing up the terrain off map to my rear. Boo Radley has already commented on my tactical genius as my Panthers rule the battlefield. As far as they are concerned, his Shermans are made of paper and have the hitting power of a fly swatter. I sit comfortably ensconced on both river crossings, giggling at his last hope to sneak infantry across two unmarked fords. Little does he know that I have a committee waiting for him...oh, and even when I screw up, he loses. My artillery dropped a perfect strike in the wrong field, but still scored a basket when I dropped a shell squarely in the back of a half track. Nidan1 is putting up a stiffer battle. He is defending three villages against my asiatic hordes. He has defended the gaps in the heavy forest well, but after slogging through the mud and trees, my faithful pixeltruppen are about to seize the victory objectives...or run away. I hate Russian infantry....

"some of my Shermies" = all that have shown their face.... {Speedbump Drops the microphone and exits stage left}

Congratulations, Sir sburke (or should it be Sir Sburke?)! Welcome to full kanigetthood!! Now who will clean the filth from my boots.....

Dear Ms. Schmidt, It is with great sorrow that I must report the death of your son, Hans. My sorrow comes from the fact that had he not died in battle, I would have enjoyed slowly roasting him over a hot fire, after breaking all of the small bones in his body and testing the point of my bayonet in his soft, squishy parts. Why, you may ask? It seems Hans (may he forever wander as a shade through the Six Point Brewery, never able to taste the nectar of the gods) could not understand the simple command to "Reverse". He seemed to think it was appropriate to turn his Stug (a turretless vehicle) backend to the enemy. Not once, but twice. As a result of his actions, he and the rest of his crew were killed by an infantry support tank, infantry support!?!?! His personal affects, including his collection of kindergarten literature will follow. Leutnant Bader

Is anyone here really surprised? No, didn't think so...

Oh my...just when I thought he was getting close... Piffle. That's right...piffle. A target for what? Harsh words? About all I have left...