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speedbump2

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Everything posted by speedbump2

  1. I blame you all for not providing more UPDATES!! After Noba gamily killed one of my lead tanks on the only bridge in the scenario (bottling up my entire assault force), I nobly allowed him the satisfaction of an ignoble win (after all, he gamily killed one of my tanks on the only bridge in the scenario). Now Noba is preparing to ignobly lose in a new scenario where there appears to be two bridges!! Boo Radley gamily offered a game in which my goal is to move a regiments worth of artillery, trucks, half tracks, jeeps and universal carriers in a retreat using a single zig zag road. He is ignob
  2. Well, Boo-Boo. I know you are cavorting over there, over the moon on finally shooting those big, bad guns towards the enemy instead of towards your own tents. However, I must point out that to be successful, you must actually hit something. Instead, you are doing a wonderful job aerating that field for the farmers. But to be fair, you did hit a jeep that had a broken oil line. Congrats!!
  3. If memory serves, they retired my handle with honor. Now it hangs in the rafters with all of the other championship banners.
  4. Sad, what age does to one's memory. In some ways it is clear as day (my posting style), yet other memories fade or become distorted (my game play). There is a reason my nom de guerre is speedbump, as in slow down the opponent as much as....
  5. Sir dalem, we tangled head to head, in a tournament. You may remember me by my original handle: speedbump.
  6. E pluribus unum: We prefer to think of it as your troops were placed on MY side of the map. We simply chose to adapt and overcome… Operendus secundus: This would be the AT gun that one-shotteted my noble Stug? Or the AT gun that appears in my LOS, only to disappear immediately prior to the orders phase? And please be careful, you are bordering on starting a grognardian conversation on optics and relative armor angles. This is a no-no in the Pool. The Tertiary Period: You are correct sir, dalem loves Minnesota truffles…. Do these jeans make my Postremus look fat?: Joes Shaw is
  7. Clearly, CessPool members are not posting as they are waiting with bated breath for UPDATES!!! Noba continues to preen. Unjustly proud of the use of 16" artillery, from battleships no doubt. Meanwhile, I am stuck in the Conscript loop. Turn 1 = Enemy fires a pistol, Turn 2 = Conscripts panic, run away, Turn 3 = Conscripts recover, push them back forward, Turn 4 = Conscripts return randomly to enemy's LOS, Turn 5 = Rinse and Repeat. We will still win. Nidan1 continues to fall back, pressed by my ravening hordes of the Motherland. He too used the gamey tactic of using accurate artil
  8. This thread needs more UPDATES: Noba is attempting to storm a small village in France defended by my press-ganged Russian conscripts. His hearty Americans have succeeded in fording the stream fronting the village, but appear to have forgotten ammunition, as Noba is complaining he is out. His Forward Observer appears to have forgotten his glasses, as well, as he is doing a nice job tearing up the terrain off map to my rear. Boo Radley has already commented on my tactical genius as my Panthers rule the battlefield. As far as they are concerned, his Shermans are made of paper and have
  9. "some of my Shermies" = all that have shown their face.... {Speedbump Drops the microphone and exits stage left}
  10. Congratulations, Sir sburke (or should it be Sir Sburke?)! Welcome to full kanigetthood!! Now who will clean the filth from my boots.....
  11. Dear Ms. Schmidt, It is with great sorrow that I must report the death of your son, Hans. My sorrow comes from the fact that had he not died in battle, I would have enjoyed slowly roasting him over a hot fire, after breaking all of the small bones in his body and testing the point of my bayonet in his soft, squishy parts. Why, you may ask? It seems Hans (may he forever wander as a shade through the Six Point Brewery, never able to taste the nectar of the gods) could not understand the simple command to "Reverse". He seemed to think it was appropriate to turn his Stug (a turretless vehi
  12. Oh my...just when I thought he was getting close... Piffle. That's right...piffle. A target for what? Harsh words? About all I have left...
  13. Just as a confirmation, I had a Soviet 57MM AT gun do the same thing. So it appears this is the method for all units of this class.
  14. I step away for a week or so and you miscreants attempt to run away and hide. Who are you, former neighbors of my youth? Well I have plenty of experience in tracking you down and forcing my presence upon you.... Now, Panzermike, while I appreciate and encourage your abuse of sburke (after all, he is a squire), I strongly take umbrage with your attempted disparagement of Sir Joe Shaw JFLPCT Knight Champion of the M.B.T., Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread, Creator of the Peng Challenge Thread Podcast, CessPool Drain Commissioner and Founder of the Shavian House. First, as a m
  15. Hmmmm...back from Spring Break, back from the Beach which is South. What a lovely place now that LeBron has returned home... What is that stench?!? It smells of antiseptic, Preparation H and back cream. Rune?!?! He really exists? Even 10 years ago, he was a whisper, a myth, a story told to young children at night to teach them to avoid the combination of candy and strange cars. {Shiver} I thought the name of the house Rune was related to a confused member who played card games at the mall on weekends. More importantly....UPDATES!! After another embarrassing defeat, Noba wa
  16. Speaking of car accidents.... UPDATES!! Nidan's Neo-Soviets failed to force the river defended by my plucky Ukrainians. The horizon was beautiful...pillars of smoke from burning Russian vehicles. He even brought an SUV to the fight. After this fight Russian SUV's have a poor safety rating. Now he has selected a marathon 150 minute scenario that will draw out his pain... Noba has fallen back on his setup zone after losing almost all of his Cats. His troops huddle in the dark, hoping the bogeyman Retro-Soviets will just go away.... Boo Radley is a gamey bastiche. He hacked
  17. Feel good about that while you can. Actually, the gunner was killed and his brother the driver went berserker on me. I clearly did not order a lone HT to drive 75 meters ahead of my troops, up to your line of foxholes and stop. Yep, you taught me a lesson....
  18. sburke, always the gentleman. Recently, I made reference to a Six Points Resin, IIPA, as my most recent favorite. However, I recently had the pleasure to imbibe it's big brother, Hi Res. Labeled an IIIPA, this beer was as close to glory as one can come. Let the Aussie's drink from their oil cans, they will never know the sophistication that a true knight takes for granted...
  19. sburke, get back in the Pool. And remember, just under the ribs!! Speedbump
  20. {Light enters the dim ale house front room as the strong hand pushes the heavy wood door open} Speedbump: "I have been away from the Pool but a week, and look what happens....in one corner we have a senile oldster, singing off-key ditties to himself and talking about the 'good' old days. In another corner, we have a stringy, long haired Minnesotan mumbling bad poetry and playing with a broken Hasbro child's computer. Under a table, we have a marketing "genius", pulling his hair out, still trying to come up with the perfect tag-line to sell 'as seen on TV' products to consumers that have a hig
  21. Simply a recognition of arbitrary victory conditions. I controlled 80% of the map, the entire village, both bridges and had far more than 20 men left at the end. My Americans were having a barbecue and a keg in the town square. I will apologize to the scenario designer for not controlling the small copse of trees in the far corner of the map which represents 60% of the victory points...and then beat him about the head and neck. Nidan, revel in your "tactical victory" as the highlight of your gaming career. You know, deep in your heart, that you were bettered... Speedbump
  22. Piffle. Three conscripts are well worth watching two Panthers pretending to be bonfires....
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