JerseyJohn
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Posts posted by JerseyJohn
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"There is only one thing I do not understand?"
"Mein Fuhrer?"
"If we are so underated, what are we doing here?"
[ November 15, 2002, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[there should be a photo here of Hitler giving a speach]
"And I tell you not to listen to this Johanus Rambo treacherous fellow spreading these vile lies about us! First of all, it was Poland who attacked us -- everyone knows they raided one of our radio stations and fortunately we happened to have two army groups, including 10 panzer divisions, and two luftflottes on maneuvers along our borders with Poland.
"As for Poland being unarmed -- he obviously doesn't realize Poland had some of the finest lancers on earth, and several other kinds of cavalry while we had no cavalry ourselves -- just one mounted division which I kept in Berlin!"
"Regarding planes -- our planes had only one wing each, many of the Polish models had two wings -- so who had the advantage over whom?"
"As for the stukas . . .."
[there should be a photo of Eva Braun, partying]
"Oh, Wulfie -- please don'g get worked up again. Remember what they told us, the downside of HELL is having to hear your critics all through eternity; the upsiede is having so many party animals for friends -- and we all want you to come back to the party, Adolf, now that you drink and smoke hash in addition to doing drugs you're such a fun guy -- please come back, Wulfie, and leave that Rambo fellow alone, he isn't even dead yet!"
[ November 14, 2002, 02:24 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Amona -- Bill,
Thanks and, speaking for the guilty parties we're glad you're enjoying the story.
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Moved the material that used to be here to the first Free French Forum.
[ December 20, 2002, 02:31 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[There should be a photo here of Hitler smiling and speaking on a phone.]
"Yes, Goebbles, it's this Immer fellow -- he's written another entry. The man is great but neither myself nor Eva nor Speer understand his meanings -- do you? Better yet, do you know if he's working for us? Heydrich says he ought to be shot, but what else would he have said!"
[ November 12, 2002, 12:50 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Utterly Profound. The mental energy consumed in thinking and typing that "post with a point" must have been considerable.
[There should be a picture of a statue of Aristottle here.]
[ November 12, 2002, 12:59 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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"Reporting, yes, but to whom? Here in the desert things tend to become confusing."
[There should be a photo of Erwin Rommel in his desert uniform here. Without it, the post is pointless as pointed out by the astute observer below.]
[ November 12, 2002, 08:53 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[There should be a photo of Hitler sitting outside, alone in his mountain residence.]
"When will Eva ever get the hint? First
I build a palace in the mountains for
her but she doesn't understand why --
she doesn't understand what a man like
me desires when he comes here to get
away from things.
"Then I leave my favorite romance novel
in plain sight for her to read -- the
one about the swineherd who made love
to his mistress among the pig carcasses,
ah yes -- it makes me shudder with
passion even now -- the scent of freshly slaughtered beasts in the air along with
the fragrence of free flowing blood to
turn them both on. But does she read
the damn thing -- no, I think not."
"I even cut down on my bathing hoping the natural beast in me would arouse her, but
does it -- no, not at all.
"Alas, she calls me for dinner. And
afterwards it's what? A nap, I suppose.
Yes, my poor considerate Eva, she will
think me a tired old man and insist I
change out of my uniform, into a
comfortable suit and take a nap.
"Good little girl that she is, she
will join me, though she would prefer
to be doing gymnastics. And I would
prefer it too, to watch her unclothed
and dripping with sweat and it flies
wildly as she tumbles and twirls and i
t's like the old days, Frenchmen
charging us and watching the machine
guns mow them down in rows!
"But before our nap a phonecall to
Radio Bavaria.
[in this spot there should be photo of Hitler on the phone smiling.]
"Yes, this is Adolf who lives in
the -- yes, thank you, and Zig
Heil to you, too. -- Well, now
that you mention it, perhaps
something relaxing tonight --
Schubert's 'Death and the
Maiden quartet'; Wagner's
'Love Death' from Tristan und
Isolde and the 'Funeral March'
from Beethoven's Eroica Symphony,
also Mozart's Masonic Funeral Music
and to cheer things up Richard
Straus's 'Death and Transfiguration.'
Oh, wait a moment, the Russians are
our friends this week -- let's hear Rachmaninoff's 'Isle of the Dead'
and also . . .."
[There should be a photo here of Hitler napping and Eva Braun, sitting in the soft chair beside him, awake, watching him.]
"When I'm relaxed like this, it
makes me melancholy for the last war.
"Those erotic nights of crouching in the darkness, listening to the howls of the
wounded and dying in no-man's land,
wishing there were a beautiful woman on
a mattress right in the middle of it all, perhaps lying in a crater made by a
420mm Krupp howitzer, even a 360mm Skoda
would do. I would crawl out to her, she
in her blonde fair skinned nakedness,
and -- but, alas, that was not to be.
Life is cruel.
Ah, and the good honest scent of trench
mud when winter turns to spring and the
half buried things from the autumn
offensives thaw. . .."
"Ah, such wonderful Aryan music.
Perhaps it is best this way. A
little Gotterdammerung. They're so
nice at Radio Bavaria, always
granting my requests and being so
polite.
"And while I doze the fond fantasies
come to me like old friends. Yes,
to have a Grand Wagnerian ending to
all this, just Eva and Me on a funeral
pyre -- Furtwangler and the Berlin
Philarmonic and Hitler Youth Choir
with the League of German Maidens
Choral Ensemble perfoming 'The
Entrance of The Gods to Valhalla'
from Das Rheingold -- the entire
world reduced to glowing heaps
of smoldering ashes."
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Great debut Eva -- unrequited love
always brings tears to my eyes!
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[ November 12, 2002, 09:04 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Above photo -- and I'm hoping it stays there -- is from a very old Twilight Zone episode, "With Love from Agnes" where programmer Wally Cox has problems with his mainframe because she
finds out he's getting married and becomes jealous.Agreed with Rouge -- I think fondly on the long string I've had starting in '81 with a British Sinclair (5k, hook up to TV screen; the original model before Sinclair and Timex combined on it)
and going through various Radio Shack, Atari, Commodore 64 & !28, then the IBM gambit.
Wish I'd held on to some of them as soon to be collector's items. Last one I gave away was an IBM AT with 5 1/4" disc drive from the days when hard drives were small and a luxury, and I really miss it, though it was unreliable and incapable of anything but early DOS.
As it turns out, my present machine, Agnes, tells me the problem was my fault for being so impatient -- I wasn't waiting till the little green squares were all filled in at the bottom of the screen.
But who knows, maybe they really are disappearing and reappearing?
"As your doctor I'm recommending plenty of rest."
[ November 11, 2002, 02:47 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Sounds like a pretty damn good decoy by anyone's standards!
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Exactly!
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"Fatal Error -- I'll show you Fatal Error you box of wires!"
[And over here was placed a photo of Michael Corleone rushing into a room, looks like a restaurant, with a double barrelled shotgun ready to discharge a blast -- the scene was deleted from the movie, and also from my entry!]
[ November 12, 2002, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Jon__R
You're right. I'm beginning to depend too much on mine; sometime I treat it like a person.
An that's without having any of those talking programs or speech recognition programs!
[ November 11, 2002, 01:19 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Using Carl's vM's method, explained in an earlier forum, I've been spicing my postings with photos linked to other sites.
The past few days I've noticed many of them vanishing -- some reappear and others don't. Does this have something to do with the origin site, this site, my computer . . ..? :confused:
If so (to any of my vague questions!) I'd appreciate any info offered.
[ November 11, 2002, 03:32 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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I'll give it a shot.
[ November 10, 2002, 02:30 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[There should be a photo of Hermann Goering sitting on a chair playing with a lioness here.]
"Did you hear the news mein leipchkin? They say the Bolshevik Zeres is finally dead. Yes, yes, mein little pussy cat, daddy loves his little schnukums kitten!"
[ November 12, 2002, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[A pity those guys are so cheap: the photo placed here was a still of Al Pachino in the restaurant scene from first Godfather shooting the corrupt Police Captain and the Sicilian heroin suplier who had his father shot.]
"Ok, shoot me kid, but first tell me something, why'd Madmatt close that voting forum?"
"Cause nobody likes a crooked cop -- okay?"
"Can I say something, kid, even though you just shot me through the forehead?"
"Sure Palatzo."
"I think it's cause that last guy mentioned the Irish or something."
"Wait a minute -- and I'm the one got shot in the forehead, not you -- just sitting here twirling my spagehtti like a native, slurping down dago red when the kid here comes back from the jon with a revolver and --"
"Yeah, Yeah -- how about getting to the dman point already."
"Okay, kid, anything you say. You're both forgetting he also mentioned the Italians."
"Yeah but, Sterling --"
"Say your prayers you two --"
"Wait a minute kid, wasn't there also something about people marching and getting locked up and --"
"Yeah, and about the past couple of presidents being simpletons and perverts and --"
"And Hitler wanting to take over and --"
"And voting, something about voting."
"Hey, I voted twelve times last week."
"I voted seven, and I'm not even a citizen."
"Look guys, if I don't finish up and get home before seven my dad'll be --"
"Yeah, sure kid, but a little patience, okay?"
"And that space creature and nobody's got morals--"
"And something about a cheap swimming pool and holding parades or something."
"Think it mighta been about the parade?"
"Nah -- you dagos got Columbus day and --"
"And everyone but the Irish march in St Patties!"
"Palatzo, if I didn't already have a bullet in my forehead I'd --"
"Come on you two, I gotta get outta here!"
"Don't rush me, kid -- I used to be a great actor before you were even born."
"Yeah, sure, the great Sterling Hayden, only I kept getting you mixed up with Robert Ryan."
"We're the same person."
"Cheez, the things you learn when you're about to be murdered -- 'cept we still don't know why that Madmatt guy closed the --."
"I'm pulling the trigger, Palatzo."
"Sure kid, shoot away, but hurry -- MadMatt's probably on his way with a padlock!"
"The dago's right, kid, shoot away. Better to get plugged now than get locked up later."
"Ain't that Shakespeare or something?"
"Cheez -- kid, will you pull the damn trigger already!"
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"Okay kid, so it took twenty shots and half an hour for you to whack those two at the restaurant, don't worry about it, lotsa guys get sent back to remedial hit school 101, that's why I'm here, okay?
[And down here was a photo of Clemenza and Michael practicing with the revolver, Clemenza patiently instructing Michael on the intricate arts of mob assassination.]
"That's it, out and level and squeze the trigger nice and slow -- jeez, three years in the marines, you get out a captain, and they never showed you how to blow a guy's head off -- it's amazing, just amazing. -- You're lucky you got family or you'd never learn these things -- okay, next we practice the garotte. It's fun, you'll like it. Best thing is it's so simple, all you need is some rope or a strap or a tie, most anything'll do!"
[ November 12, 2002, 12:19 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[There should be a photo of Hitler reading a newspaper and smiling here.]
"Yes Eva, it is the latest installment of this fellow Immer Etwas -- of course I only understand a small fraction of what he writes, but still, there is something vaguely fascinating in his observations.
-- very mysterious --some sort of desert person reaching out from solitude
--or perhaps a Tibetian llama
--that fool Himmler should have provided me with his true identity ages ago. That idiotic Tibetian expedition should have looked for him.
But enough speculation, I must read on and will be requiring the services of my dictionary.
Also I must call the Office of Racial Purity and make it clear that -- like Shakespeare, Jim Thorpe and Tojo -- he is an Aryan, regardless of where he resides, and as such he is speaking for The Reich. Whatever the hell it is that he is saying.
No, Eva, I do not believe he is Raymond Chandler, only pretending to be -- perhaps he already works for our Foreign Office and that would explain why everything he says is a mystery!
Now, to call someone smart -- Canaris or Speer --and have the Etwas writings explained to me."
[ November 12, 2002, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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[There should be a photo of Hitler, Goering, Keitel and Doenitz walking in parade uniform here.]
It was a beautiful sunny day and Goering felt absolutely jubulient:
"That's right, volumes of Billote's notes simply sitting in the basement in poorly shredded heaps right next to the furnace. Why, they left in such haste that nobody thought to burn it! -- No need to get involved, Heinrich, my own intelligence people have been working on it for months now and it is pretty much reconstructed. -- Yes, when we get back to Berchtesgaden I'll read some of it out loud. You'll see, it's very amusing. He says such outlandish things, like the remark about our very own Heinrich being the 'Devil Incarnate!' -- How very uncharitable of him to describe our sensitive executioner in such a calous manner; and what an outrage to me personally -- perhaps I'm some sort of saint!"
Keitel smirked, "It's your own fault, Hermann, to have missed that one, with all the titles you've awarded yourself -- what a terrible oversight."
The Reichsmarshal nodded, "Thank you, Wilhelm, you, at least, understand the hurt he's caused me."
Doenitz quickened his pace, "If it's any consolation, we in the Kriegsmarine have always referred to you in those very words."
Tears began forming in Goering's eyes, "You're too kind, Carl."
"I am not an executioner!"
Goering broke into a chuckle, "Of course not, Heinrich, you're a philanthropist."
[ November 12, 2002, 08:56 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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"The money from our tax cut went to buy the kids their pool. We'd much rather have our cash in hand, not in some corrupt government program like the one that was going to help put the kids through college. We can't afford Government waste -- especially not with the health care system being so lousy and there being no retirement plan at either of our jobs and Hank getting screwed out of unemployment last year."
[ November 09, 2002, 06:21 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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"Conquering the place would be a cinch for my boys. Could you loan me, say, four Luftflottes?"
"Benitto, why do you persist in going after my bankers! What's wrong with you?"
"Okay -- let's make it two Lufflottes and . . .."
[ November 09, 2002, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Agreed with the three prior entries -- the game is more fun when Germany builds a large navy and goes for the U. S. and Canada.
Unfortunately, it usally means fighting the USSR simulataneously. Against the AI that isn't a problem but a human might come up with some interesting counter strategy.
I've found the U-Boats to be very good and affordable; they are great at screening BBs and Cariers, very effective against enemy warships. They are also useful in screening landing zones against enemy naval actions.
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"Tell me this isn't another Z-plan.
-- 'Erich, I'm getting you six new super battleships!'
-- 'Guess what, Erich, I'm getting you at least one aircraft carrier, possibly two or three!'
'Danka, Danka! I say, but when the water rises the Z-plan produces a used dinghy -- Royal Navy, 1921 surplus!"
[ November 10, 2002, 09:48 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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I was going to out of curiosity but didn't. It looks similar to the "Clash of Steel" Switzerland which was four adjacent mountain hexes and two corps defending them. I'd bet this is the same, with no production value. Wonder if it has plunder?
[ November 08, 2002, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Agreed with Flash, ev, JPWagner and the others; as I have agreed with them, on the same points, in several other past forums!
To me the big issues are the following:
1) Seasons. It isn't only a matter of turns per month, it's also a matter of what can or can't be done during certain parts of the year.
Winter is essential -- in Russia it's obvious, on other fronts it affects the amount of strategic bombing that would take place and the success of naval operations, such as the ability of U-Boats to succeed in their stealth operations. Also, in most areas severe weather such as heavy rain or snow storms could shut operations down either totally or partially.
Remember that classic line from Patton, "The Germans have not launched a major Winter offensive since the time of Frederic The Great!"
Which tells you something.
I can't believe seasonal considerations are beyond this terrific game's mechanics.
2) Manpower limitations. I love building new units as much as the next guy, but after a few years prolonged slaughter you start wondering if you're drafting 8 and 80 year olds! If this is done across the board it won't specifically handicap any particular nation and -- I believe it was Immers who pointed this out -- cutting down on the number of units and having to concentrate on their use and quality can only improve gameplay and strategy.
3) Transatlantic operations, specifically Axis invasions of North America. On the one hand we'd all like the option, on the other hand it isn't very satisfying to do it and tell yourself, "well, it's impossible, but it's done."
This is a hard topic. The most sensible solution is to not allow it as it was not actually an option -- even if Germany somehow conquered the U. S. & Canada, which I honestly don't believe could have been done, but even if she had -- how would she have occupied those places, along with the rest of Europe and conquered Russia?! Like the 1940s Pop Hit Title -- "Something's Gotta Give!"
But, the proverbial 'realm of possibility' could have an Axis invasion force taking major U. S. cities, occupying D. C., and either preventing the U. S. from operating in Europe or forcing a peace outright. Unfortunately I believe all of this is truly beyond the game's limitations and, as was suggested elsewhere, conquering America to have her revert to neutrality is the alternate method. A reasonable compromise but I just can't buy it.
The Norway and Crete operations were the limit of German efforts along these lines. A logical extension would be small operations such as invading Iceland, which was a real possibility before it was garrisoned by the U. S.. An invasion like that would have weighed the Battle of the Atlantic very heavily toward the Axis.
4) Naval operations. This is closely tied in with map size. As it stands now Germany can't get it's naval units past Scappa Flow without winning a Jutland type battle. In reality she put ships into the North Atlantic routinely via the Norwegian fiords. When they were detected and shadowed, as was done with the Bismark and Prinz Eugen in May, 1941, it was usually initiated at the Denmark Straights, close to North America.
The English Channel and Skagerrak sea areas need a special rule. They were not open highways. It was very difficult and risky for Germany to run vessels through the channel -- they only did it once with capital ships, running the Scharnhorst, Gneisenau and Prinz Eugen back to Germany via that route in '43. And they only succeded with great difficulty despite catching the Brit's totally by surprise and at that many small vessels and aircraft were lost on both sides along with heavy damage to Gneisenau by mines.
The Skaggerak area, linking the Baltic and North seas was never penetrated either east-west by the Russians nor West-East by the British. If I'm wrong here, I'd greatly appreciate being enlightened, but I don't believe I am.
5) MAP -- generally I like it, with the exception of the bizarre Atlantic oddities already mentioned. It has numerous faults around the edges -- North Africa is a drag and actually prevents the flanking tactics that determined victory for both sides. There is a single hex where the cramping is justified -- at Alexandria where the Qattara Depression is at it's northern extreme and flanking maneuvers are impossible. But the rest of North Africa is a study in aggravation.
6) A world map would be great but could only work on either a scroll basis or as numerous screens -- a major revision.
7) Diplomacy. It's been said too well and by too many others for restatement here. The automatic Yugoslavian coup becomes comical -- the entire world masses at it's borders and suddenly the Yugoslavs go nuts and join the Allies and are immediately crushed. Finland is another case. But this, too is a hard issue.
I'd be pretty satisfied with a Pacific Theater of the game that interfaces with the European Theater -- I don't begrudge buying a seperate Pacific package, at $25 each the two games are well worth it and the producer/developer deserves to earn more for so much further development and expansion.
8) Random USSR & U. S.
Also, I think Russia's armies should be severely handicapped in operations outside the USSR if Russia initiates the hostilities. It was the savagery of German occupation that motivated it's effectivness, not ideology or Stalin's leadership and certainly not his generals (with the exception of Zhukov and others who emerged after the first years catastrophes).
In the case of the United States, I think a German declaration of war is essential. Otherwise it's merely "Roosevelt's War" and would have lacked essential support among the American people. This is a very hard point as it ties in with Pearl Harbor.
When I was a kid there were numerous war time propaganda maps in existence that depicted Hitler smiling East of the Mississippi and Tojo smiling in the West! Americans believed that -- we still believed that had been the plan in the fifties and it was a propaganda masterstroke.
Sure, the random U. S. entry is an abstraction and takes numerous factors into consideration, but, combined with Russia's random entry, it's capable of twisting the real situation beyond recognition.
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I hope everyone posts their revision ideas in this single location, so we can have it all more organized and comprehensible.
[ November 08, 2002, 05:10 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Nothing like a mission!
Despite all your precautions the British got a terrific front shot, what pros!
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"All this talk of war is very disturbing -- the more so as I have not got a fleet -- what use is a Gross Admiral without a fleet!"
[ November 09, 2002, 06:23 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
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Exactly and likewise!
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Not among America's endagered species.
[ November 08, 2002, 08:17 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]
finds out he's getting married and becomes jealous.
"History, I'm talking about history"
in Strategic Command 1
Posted
"Goebbles, I like these guys, they're so nutsy!"
[ November 15, 2002, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ]