Dim, uneducated, and unenlightened by anything approximating to a comprehensible set of rules, my amoeba-like brain does at least recognise the general concept of a challenge.
The best way to make me SOD OFF (by far the best result for everybody, including me) would be to humiliate me so thoroughly upon the field of battle (verbal humiliation I am too dim to understand) that I dare not show my face ever again.
So how about it? Slapdragon perhaps?