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imported_Hiram Sedai

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Posts posted by imported_Hiram Sedai

    For the Record, I Am the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

    Little blast from the past: My first post in the Peng thread dated 08/24/00

    Ahem...I realize that I am not a combat mission titan, but I will do what I can to make this thread grow.

    ------------------

    -Work Hard

    -Type Fast

    -Save Often

    Mine was better. Yours was weak and ineffectual, like your attempts at stimulating the opposite sex. You were as nothing until Croda came along and raised you up from the dust. Imagine that, it took the likes of a Croda for you to reach minimally acceptable standards. I don't know about you, but that would make me feel terrible.</font>
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    For the Record, I Am the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    How repugnant I find this place. I do hate posting in a thread created by the mouse. It makes me feel creepy. Still, it is necessary.

    Turns are out for the day. Call your relatives and spread the word. Here is my token excuse: Work

    Stress has pummeled me into submission so that my head is constantly bowed and I struggle with chest pains. Life is violating me without the benefit of lube. My only bit of joy is that my life is still a little better than many of yours. I look around and see the dregs of society. That comforts me. I see our justicar and laugh at him. Still, he brings a chuckle that surprises me. It used to be pity that I felt for our favorite geriatric uncle. Too see such an old person in his dotage scamper about and demand things is quite amusing. He is quite the funny old codger. I do hope I haven’t hit upon a nerve in that so many of our readers are in their 40’s and 50’s.

    No, wait. I hope I pissed you off. I hope you get the gumption to actually take the time and expend the effort to reply. If you read, then you should reply. In my limited time posting here in the Peng thread, I’ve seen so many fall by the wayside because of lack of initiative and boredom. They are discouraged by the autistic infant that created this thread. No, not the Peng ideal that we hold within our collective bosom. This thread. I was guilty of apathy many times and refused to post because I abhorred some and wanted to snuff the lives of others. It saddens me to see PeterNZer and Chupacabra making a home of General Forum but ignoring our place here. It discourages me to not read the rantings of Meeks or the clever writings of MarkIV. I do miss them.

    There is some comfort in the knowledge that the Old Firm had decided to visit us once in a while and that my original opponent in my Squire Battle is still around.

    I do this every 6 months, it's called reminiscing. Don't mind me, try some arsenic and get out of my face.

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    The Death Clock of the PENG CHALLENGE Thread Tolls for Thee

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Here it is: A hot steaming bag of venom, bile, and lung butter fresh from the bronchial ward of your local hospital. This is just for Dalem because he requested it like a little girl would request a dolly with tear filled eyes and quivering lip. Don’t expect this vitriolic prose from our resident cross dressing bard because he likes to be sweet. Don’t go looking for this sort of soul wrenching verbiage from any of the grogs because they are incapable of social interaction including normal, everyday human communication.

    I am the embodiment of bitterness and angst. I am precisely what your psychologist is struggling to keep you from becoming. Think of me as the anti-normal person. My thought processes are beyond what you puny mortals can conceive and my hatred for all things normal spans across generations. Stuff yourself into the average and fill out that poll regarding which pop star is the best. Do your best to fit in and agree with the powers that be. Just know that my unrelenting disdain will follow you to your house and bathe in your swimming pool while violating your shrubbery. Label me if you will, but you will never understand me. Whether you like me or not simply does not matter and neither do you.

    Now, I see a sad and sorry excuse for a human cast off his knighthood and struggle to find his identity in this world. His mewling cacophony has caught my attention and I look down on him as if to grind him beneath my heel. I am replete with PBEM’s for now, so he will be spared the humiliation of losing to me. But, it’s enough for me to know that life has already humiliated him. The drudgery of everyday existence has beaten him down and the constant reminder that he a stagnant bottom dweller is enough to make him hate waking in the morning. What he sees in the mirror makes him weep. The comments of the co-workers at the Sewer Plant make him want to find a very tall building and enter the after life. Still, the nagging question on his mind is where he will end up. Will fate be kind to him and send him to a paradise? Theology has no place here, so let’s just pretend for a minute that he did something altruistic in his life and would have a happy afterlife frolicking in a dumpster of his choosing.

    Still, since he is still on this mortal plane with you and me, we have to deal with his nagging. He admonishes us to show more hatred. As if he understands hatred. If he were bright enough, he would hate the society that has banished him to mundane tedium. If he were smart enough to realize that he is simply nothing more than a rancid chunk of feces steaming in the sun, then he might be a little bit mad. But, he doesn’t have a clue. Let’s not inform him that he is worth nothing more than to be subject for scientific experimentation for shampoo. Maybe the SPCA should add the Dalem to their list of animals to protect because this type of animal isn’t smart enough to defend themselves against humanity. I do hope he is the last of his kind. I hope the next couple of generations won’t have to listen to his screeching wail of despondency. I feel for this group of Peng thread sycophants because we have to read his pedantic mewling and pretend for a second that we want to help him.

    Would money solve his inability to grasp the obvious? What may be clearly evident to the rest of us may be difficult to grasp for this slimy bag of flesh. Here it is, and I hope that Dalem might grasp this little nugget of wisdom. To demand creativity and anger from this thread, you must contribute the same. Little one line replies won’t do. Don’t be like the single cell newbies that parade around here begging for scraps from the justicar (bolded for those of you who suffer from attention deficit disorder and are apathetic). If you are going to expect “in your face” type text, you must give it. Sadly, over the span of your history here, you have been less that venomous. We see your natural gaiety and it disturbs us. Stop it and find something to be angry about.

    That is all.

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    The Death Clock of the PENG CHALLENGE Thread Tolls for Thee

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    While in the throes of a frantic Loaf-pinching session replete with bawdy show tune renditions and cries of “Sweet Mother of God, make it go away”, I realized that I have yet to receive a turn from Slapdragon or Croda. I find this most disconcerting and will have to email the parties responsibilities. How am I to open up the proverbial can upon their sorry butt’s when they won’t send a turn? I understand the Croda is somewhere playing in traffic and our Cess-Grog is sampling some narcotics taken from a sting or whatever they do down there.

    Since I had plenty of time for deep thought while upon that porcelain throne, I also realized that our own MRPeng is being whimsical and gregarious. Since I know that he is bi-polar and probably experiencing his own version of a menstrual cycle, I will forgive his latest post.

    It also came to my attention that there may be a chance that our beloved goose stepper, Andreas and that egocentric buffoon known as Michael Dorosh may be twins. I wonder if they are fraternal.

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    Should I buy CM:BO?

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Yet another topic with this title.

    This time, I'm wondering if I should buy it for a friend who has downloaded the demo and is thoroughly enjoying the game. I patiently explained to him over the span of many months that chicks dig wargamers. He is thinking of buying the game but cannot afford it at the moment. Since I have some spare money because I have no girlfriend and beer is cheap, I'm thinking of purchasing the game again.

    Thoughts?

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    Young players that are out there

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Sir Augustus:

    Hi. I was wondering how many young players are out there. I am 14 myself. Anyone out there in my age group?

    I remember 14 like it was yesterday. My breath and body contstantly stank of fetid cheese. My repulsive visage was an effective deterrant to the females. I spent most of my time in the library because books never turn you down.

    Oh, welcome..Sir Augustus. Enjoy your stay on our messageboard.

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    The Death Clock of the PENG CHALLENGE Thread Tolls for Thee

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    All of my turns have been sent out. I do hope all of my opponents die a fiery and humiliating death because of my awe inspiring strategery.

    One opponent springs to mind because of his infernal machinations. He is a barrister of ill repute. His gamey use of artillery makes me want to kick the nearest lawyer in the nether regions. Since lawyers live in the nether regions, it is yet another moot point.

    I haven't received a turn from Slapdragon since the end of May which makes me think that he is afraid of me. He sits in his squad car quaking at the thought of a whoopin' at the hands of the Hirsute one. I'm sure he takes it out on the perps with clubbing.

    So, if I owe you a turn, you are mistaken and should send me a turn. If you owe me a turn, then send it and prepare for the jackboot of justice to be placed squarely upon your flat forehead.

    A little notice to all of the sycophants calling themselves inhabitants of the "House of Croda". Your master owes me a turn. See that he does the right thing and sends me a turn. Also, try to understand that he will only lead you to ruin and it would be best for you to end your sorry existance soon.

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    The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    It is my solemn duty to report that I have now finished a PBEM against a Mister Speedbump. It ended in a DRAW.

    He had every flag on the map and murderized a huge amount of my conscript troops with his regulars. Somehow, it was a draw. His artillery was exact and precise, yet...it was a draw. He had superior tactics, strategy, force selection and numbers. Say it with me...it was a draw. Oh, the magic of terrain and placement!!

    Yes, I got a good chuckle out of the final tally.

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    ==) FAQ (== How to Take a Screenshot and Other CM Goodness

    in Combat Mission: Beyond Overlord

    Posted

    Originally posted by StarFleet Captain:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by StarFleet Captain:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

    ...sexually transmitted disease that she acquired years ago, but that didn't stop...</font>
    ...myself from bumping the FAQ back to Page #1 from Page #4. But nonetheless some people just don't get the royalties that come with...</font>
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