Leeo

Though only a squire, I endeavor to serve. I have started a True Peng in the Northwest, with challenge, title and all. As such, I plant this stake in the name of my Lord and Mentor, Sir Stuka! I'll be happy to kick the crap out of any who oppose. Move on to the true CessPool! In Sir Stuka's name, amen. Leeo the Lion-hearted. [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-29-2001).] [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-29-2001).]

Welcome to the land of microbrews, anarchists, and general malcontents. Though just a lowly squire, I feel the need to start the new Peng (and any of you don't like it can just sod-off and kiss the frickin' back of your knees). After all, the previous attempt to start a thread was a pitiful stillborn attempt at a proper challenge. Anyone disagree, I'll be happy to kill you in the name of my Lord and Liege, Stuka! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-29-2001).]

To Sir Stuka, a report; To the rest of you knee-jerking ankle-biters, SOD OFF! Picture, oh liege, a tranquil meadow during a night storm. Clankety, clankety, clankety, enters the behemoth dragon Cromwell. "Whoooooosh, bang!" fly flaming arrows from the valiant huns. Imagine the horror, as it was all for naught! The Cromwell reverses from the meadow, secure in it's +10 armor plating of loathing. spewing fire and death at my brave an noble troops. Though some of my cadre fall, many more cloak themselves to be as one with the forest. The Tommyknockers move calously in amongst my troops, mistaken for rocks and trees. That is when the Britlanders begin to die-a-lot. The death still continues, but the evil Aitken has tasted the steel of my weapons, deep inside (sit down, Mace) where his fear is like the frozen pit of a glacier. As for Wanker Elvis, he is still certain he is on a Sunday stroll through the park (though that stroll is made with the weight of cross-hairs upon him). Agua Perdido is MIA. A turn or two over the many days since challenge rendered and challenge wrought. 'Tis it fear? 'Tis it incompetence? Nay, I say 'tis gross overconfidence, from which he shall soon be wrenched. I must now wend my way back to the front, for it is in your noble name, my liege, that I do battle. By your leave, sire, I am away! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-28-2001).]

Sir, Yessir! Let it be known a priori that Mr. Aitken is a gamey cheating bastarrrd (in the psychological dangerously deranged way of that haggis-eatin', skirt-fluffin', pipe squeezin' (sit down, Bauhaus), sheep-intimidatin' off-spawn of an itinerant peddler )!!! He's afraid to confront me in the light of day (that pissboy wannabe Aitken, sir), so has chosen a cold, dreary, rainy night to conceal his gamey magick, which would only be acceptable from a duo known as Sigfreid and Roy. He will, however, be mine, my ever-kind liege. Yours in humble (though begrudging) service, Leeo the Leper (tremble in fear, those who would have contact with me). ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

Nothing here. move along. quit looking. on to your time wasting...... [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-23-2001).]

I'll have nothing to do with a scheming, knight-trapping git like stevetherodent. He's not worth time it takes to expel the phlegm in his direction. Bloody feckin' excuse for a 'Pooler. Oh, and chrissyboy, I AM from the US of A, ya puckered porcupine prong! (OOoo, more alliteration) Have you not the brain cells required to read a very useful tool called a "profile"? Granted, we're a little different up here in the Northwest, but it is still in the United States. Or did ya also fail elementary geography? (There, sir Stuka! Is that a bit more belligerent? While not up to your personal high standards (mutter, mutter, mutter, I didn't apologize.) ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

Send me a turn, you pimply pocked pork paunch! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

Oh, my fair Dame Kitty, I apologize profusely! It must have been the ammonia fumes, and the thought of a lady of the court and all, well, I'll just knock myself in the head. Really. My unmitigated gall! Imagine, a poor professional pissboy like me, presuming to hold a bucket to your...(dead faint to collapse upon the ground) (edited for mutiple ethanol induced formatting errors) [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-23-2001).] [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-23-2001).]

"ROIGHT!! I'm not sorry, and I'd do it again if I had the chance! Ha haaahhhaaahha!"

OOOoooo. A Waydee!! I'm intrigued, confused, and a bit verklempt, as my pissboy guild did not instruct on the proper manner with which to hold a bucket for a way-dee. "Way-dee, oh way-dee. Here's your bucket, oh mythical fluffy one!"

As my people used to say (in the vernacular of my high school) "Have you seen the monkeys fly out of my butt?" Frickin' Wanker! (sorry, Elvis. He deserved it)

I am unsure if Peng tastes gamey, but I can certainly attest to the fact that his golden effluence certainly smells gamey. Upon completion, I can easily kill weeds in the courtyard with his product. However, I then must scrub the bucket repeatedly with lye, sand, fir boughs, and various other secret ingredients of the trade before the bucket can be deemed acceptable to another kinniget. Ah, but such is the burden of my station, and it beats the hell out of pulling a plow.

I agree completely! While I may be a pissboy, I treat my job with reverance and dignity. I am here to serve the kinnigets (bloody feckin' suckers of sweat from the workin' class), and though I do my duty, I pursue that duty with aloofness and pride. I have the cleanest bucket in the land, and were the truth to be known, them kinnigits regularly scuffle to relieve themselves in my quality pot (sit down, Bauhaus). I am a worker. Not a sycophant or mambie to the noble class. I take pride in my work, and should some kinniget choose to employ me at some point, I will treat said kinniget with respect and honor, not the mewling drivel of the spineless. Now that I've stated my case, I must return to my "job". "Alright, this one's full." (emptying bucket into nearby bushes) NEXT!! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-22-2001).]

OOoooo, look who thinks he's all high and mighty like. Look who thinks he doesn't have to hold a bucket. (That about do it, Sir Croda?) Look who thinks he is better than the rest of the serfs. (Really, Sir Croda, I'm worried about you. You should drink more water; it's looking very yellow today, Sir). I agree. He's not worthy enough to hold the pot to piss in. (There you go, Sir, a couple of shakes...aannnnnd you're done. No, Sir, really, my pleasure!) He's strictly a serf, no doubt about it. At least us pissboys get to spend our days in the castle, and get to go through the slop before the pigs.

Flanks? FLANKS? (stevetherat, take notes) I would like it to be known for the record (though I am sure the records are already stuffed to over flowing with this bit of "news") that Berli is an edge-hugging, gamey bastidge! He must've had those uber-troopers practice walking the tight rope before the battle to get them that close to the edge of the world without falling off. Besides, his soldiers were cheating. They weren't wearing the requisite flourescent orange safety vests required by the Geneva Conventions when "...conducting military operations in heavy fog." And those weren't ordinary FO's. They were ninja-scout-forward-observers, and he didn't kill them, they simply bit down on their cyanide filled tooth. Indeed, though the official surrender has yet to be sent, let it be known: Leeo-loss due to temporary insanity induced by heavy fog. Berliwin due to gamey edge-hugging an flagrant violations of the Geneva Conventions.

I say dump 'im (Mace) like a sack full of garbage. He has any problems with that, you just tell him to take it up with Serf Piss-Boy Extraordinaire! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

(Eyes wet with tears..) One can only hope.... Sure, my hut is drafty and my stomach grumbles, but I know through the beneficence of someone greater than I, it will be possible for me to rise above my allotted station of (flourish of horns) Serf Piss-Boy Extraordinaire! ...mumbling under breath as we muck out the stables;I wish all of them kinnigits would just Piss-Off!. Umm, did I just say that out loud? ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

Yo, Lorak, WWwhaazzzuupp? (The preceding was just a lame attempt to garner attention by uttering proletarian phrases inculcated in the populace by the bourgeosie). Wait, let me slap myself. There, much better. So, I noticed that upon the kinnigit's page reside several people with a record worse than I, a lowly piss boy. For example, GI Jim (0/0/1), Madmatt (0/0/0; but okay, I'll give you that one; he's a god), Rune (0/1/1), and Dalem (0/4/1) all have records worse than mine (well, Madmatt's is the same, but he's exempt). If you notice, I have not lost a single match. Fix or do somefink! Oh, and a desultory SOD OFF! to the rest of you. ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

Alright, who is this Piss-boy Pretender? Being recently elevated (Oh Happy Day) to the glorious (at least that's what we write to the folks at home) status of piss-boy (does that equate with serf?), I hereby take the opportunity to evacuate my bladder on this person. Yeah, Yeah, a little power corrupts a little bit. Anyway, I pee at thee, I pee at thee, I pee at thee!(mystical thrice repeating for Seanachai's benefit). You are not noble enough for me to hold a bucket to ya'! All the rest of ya can BUGGER OFF! ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

I, though a serf-wannabe (can you possibly get any lower?) hereby inquire as to the requirements to become a feckin' serf? A newbie is a newbie, apparently lower than a serf, but at what point (upon whose bayonet) does one rise to the level of grand ineptitude afforded a serf? I notice the dekester and dalem's lot (I know, I know, I'm beginning to partake in that lame excuse for humor known as Name Changing™ ) have passed by the wayside, but much to your mortification, I am very persistent. Like the snot in your nose during flu season, like the hemorrhoidal itch in your arse from sitting in front of your computer so much, like the... well, you get the drift. So, when does a newbie become a serf? Talk amongst yourselves.... ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money!

All the more appropriate with the Hoof-and-Mouth disease epidemic. Hmmm, perhaps that pox upon the land was spawned and incubated here in the Cess?

Terribly sorry, old chap (waves hand in front of face, holds nose and turns head). Really, I am. You just go on back (fights gag reflex) to, ahh, well, you know. (taking several steps back) I can wait to taunt you further until you're (eyes watering) smelli.., ahem, feeling better. (edited to correct mistakes induced by olfactory overload) ------------------ It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money! [This message has been edited by Leeo (edited 03-20-2001).]

Mea culpa...

Oh my. Oh me. Some dim-bulb has decided to come by and give us a recipe for cloning his intellect.

For cryin' out loud, who let the toddler in here? Somebody get me a burp rag so I can clean this mess up.