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Croda

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Posts posted by Croda

    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by AussieJeff:

    Dear Mr Cruda,

    Unfortunately for your rabidself, as a return gesture of goodwill I have BELCHED FIRE FROM MY ARSE and incinerated the poor PiZzleIVH and Tiggywiggy <BIG>YOU</BIG> had parked <BIG>ON TOP OF THE HILLS AS WELL!!</BIG>.

    Accordingly, <BIG>YOU</BIG> Mr Cruda are now (2) two tanks less, thank you very much!!

    Kindest regards and best of luck for your remaining <FONT COLOR = YELLOW>troppotruppen<FONT COLOR = BLACK>,

    <FONT COLOR = GREEN>AussieJeff<FONT COLOR = BLACK>

    <FONT COLOR = RED>SOD (Squire of Berli)<FONT COLOR = BLACK></font>

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    A witty Peng Challenge and other Oxymorons

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    I will not kneel to kiss the ground before some SSN's feet!

    Where do these retroactive-abortion candidates get the right to spout Shakespeare? For that matter, where do they get the right to belch fire from their arses? They are not good enough for either, leastwise this FloozieJeff who, with true Oddstralian bravado, parked all of his tanks on top of the hills to blow up the pretty houses, and is now two tanks less thank you very much Mr. Croda.

    If the SSNs need an author to quote, let them quote Dorosh or Rexford for Willy is far above their station.

    As for the loverly interlude of MrPeng, it is both a blessing and a curse to see that his return comes in his departure (how very contradictorilly Faustian). She pours him a porter and then asks to see his stout, 'tis a tale that could only be acted out in a depraved and deprived state such as Yoo-tah ('Utah, gimme two'). It is all well and fitting that MrP should return as the place hasn't felt this 'wrong' since the great schizm (see if you can find those threads, SOB, thems were some tumultuous times) or perhaps since the Thread went to Sweden, godawful place was full of Swedes.

    Anyway, back to the point. Hiram is a horse's ass.

    No, that wasn't the point at all, just a random plug for my new website www.HiramIsAHorsesAss.com

    Now I'm wondering if there was any point at all (don't bother quoting that line you rat-sunsabidges, it would show poor taste).

    Hmmm...Maybe Hiram was the point. Stoopid idjit sends me two stinking files every time. So I process both with different moves just to make him watch his men slaughtered with enough variety to keep the Gong Show in business for another 3 years.

    Yureeka! The point!

    We members of the Western World need to start staggering ourselves so that we post at all hours. The Oddstralian-Overnights are killer. Full of Aussie-jokes, and Aussie-references, posted by none other than real Aussies whose idea of a woman is the gal at the pub who can take the caps off the beer with her teeth and tie it into a knot with her tounge. Yikes!

    [Not Edited, but I like these cool little bracketies and I wanted to take this opporunity to note that Hiram is a wank-sodding tosser who sods wanks and then tosses.]

    [Ok, I did go back and edit it, but that doesn't mean I screwed up, I was just improving things.]

    [ March 20, 2002, 07:56 AM: Message edited by: Croda ]

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    Best way to play the AI

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    My favorite way to play the AI is a normal defense.

    By looking at the terrain, I can very accurately predict his line of advance (ie. The patch of woods where he will congregate ALL of his infantry). Then I bomb the hell out of it with big arty and mop up.

    Sometimes, I establish elaborate ambushes just to lay waste to the attackers, training flamethrowers, SMG squads, MG teams, and large caliber inf guns on the planned route of advance which is naturally mined and stewn with wire. They walk righ in and a few crawl back out.

    Come to think of it, I do the same things against Hiram...

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    Crushingly Important Consideration for CMBB Flags

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

    The flag of the Soviet Union, when properly done, only has the yellow star and sicle on one side of the flag; the reverse is a plain red field...

    ...will the objective flags in CMBB reflect this astonishingly crucial piece of evidence so as to enhance the game play, resale value, and nutritional content of the game???

    Basically, Agua and I have brand new computers, so we can make ridiculous demands like this all day long.

    Ah, yes. I am finally rubbing off on him. It would seem that my diabolical guises are ultimately reaching the zenith of their fruitiion!

    Muahahahahahahahahahahahaa.......

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    Pass the Lotion Peng, I need to get that full body Mutha Beautiful Challenge Tan

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Goanna:

    I can purchase and place the troops. Are we letting these pillocks buy or is it all {snicker} up to {snorf} me?

    Oh good. I can see this is turning out pretty much as I expected it would.

    I will be given 27 Kubelwagons and an asthmatic dachsund named Basil and my opponent (what was his name again? Asto Boy-Toy or something like that?) will have a dozen Super Pershings and a full symphony orchestra. I believe the phrase I'm thinking of rhymes with "clucking bell".</font>

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    Pass the Lotion Peng, I need to get that full body Mutha Beautiful Challenge Tan

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    I've been without Squire for what seems like forever. As a matter of fact I don't believe I've ever had one, so that would make me right.

    As has been noted on several occasions, the current crop of SSNs show little promise and far too much chest hair in public for my taste. There is one however who has struck my fancy in the same way that small puntable dogs are struck by large 18-wheeled monster-trucks.

    This lackwit has shown the following:

    1) Stick-to-it-ivity

    2) Utter destest for that incomprehensible drooling psychophant squire of Shaw's.

    3) Some signs of literary culture, unless of course he is making reference to a horrid early '90's band.

    Yes, he is none other than Boo_Radley. I take him now as my Squire to wait upon me hand and foot and hoof and mouth.

    That being done and done, I suggest a squirely joust between said Boo_Radley (he's a squire now so I can bold his repulsive name) and that TechnoDonkeyFreakAThon character.

    We shall need a map and unit placer type people.

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    Pass the Lotion Peng, I need to get that full body Mutha Beautiful Challenge Tan

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    The worst thing about checking this page in the morning is having to sort through all the Aussie flim-flam, fiddle-faddle, and muckey-muck in order to find some sort of decent content. They should start a thread of their own called "The I Can't Win a Game to Put Out the Fire in My Hair Chellenge Thread."

    The whole lot of you together cannot beat the collective force of the Nefarious Legion of Croda. It seems while our esteemd an underappriecated gnomish comrade is trying to make war on all things Aussie, he doesn't have the blissful success rate that I have. Perhaps I alone should take up the mantle of murderous intent and champion the world against the Aussie plague.

    Which reminds me: Stuka-boy, I'm not sure we've had the pleasure since our Squirely-Joust. Perhaps the time has come.

    Some squint named Aussie Jeff has sent me a file, but I anticipate that he'll be trying to gather his own lungs into one complete pile before long.

    Mace has difficulty remembering how to play and send a turn every full moon.

    Noba's cook-manned Ma Deuce finally surrendered.

    Super-Lizard is beginning to feel the wrath of trying to cross a bride under fire. Little does he know that his little insurrection on my right is about to be crushed at which point his lurking about like an Outerboarder on my left will be painfully dealt with.

    Stuka-melad, you may be the only one left who can wrest this collar of ineptitude from your peaceful and aborigine-enslaving island.

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    To all the Grogs I've loved before...

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Thanks for all the nice responses. I had hoped that this could be my way of "giving back" to the community (other than my witty reparté, of course).

    Tanks dogs, Stuka? None of them, but there are tanks. One of my favorite snippets:

    From March 24th, 1945 Edenkoben, Germany...On our march we saw the biggest tanks any of us had ever seen. There were two of them, one of them had sixteen direct hits from our seventy six's and it didn't knock either of them out. The only reason we captured them, because they ran out of gas...
    King Tigers in action, anyone?
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    To all the Grogs I've loved before...

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    I have a special Grog treat. Well, I think it's special anyway, hopefully you'll enjoy it as well.

    I've mentioned a few times that my wife's grandfather was in the 10th Armored Division (many of you saw the flag) and that at the end of the war he compiled his "memoirs" from the Division's morning reports and added many personal recollections. I've had that document for some time and have now - finally - gotten it scanned and posted to the web. I consider it a great primary source of history.

    Any who are interested please check it out. I find it to be a remarkable story and am currently doing research into a couple of different ways in which to beef it up and publish it. But for the time being, and to help hold us over until CMBB, I submit this for your reading pleasure. I would love to hear any comments anyone has.

    Catch it here.

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