Hamstersss

does lars buy chicklets or does chicklet buy lars or do does give eyes for a buck joe shaw came up in an uncommon way at an uncommon time spent his time in the bars and not for the wine and always said, same thing year after year, said you can't always win 'specially not here while weary waged war and lamb laid low ol' joe never gave out never lost hope well, way to go, joe i tell all my friends, way to go, joe, right to the end

A parliament not or even some order unlike my lost lolly named ruth, but a lad like leknarod light, lost, but no ardor can without his tenses find truth Everything's growing so strange. Oh Joe Shaw, I'm afraid we're going to start dancing soon. Now, where's Emma, so that we may play William Tell.

He obviously must be thinking of somebody else.

You missed an apostrophe, you impossibly dull little man. Go back and edit your post, and while you're at it, stick you head in a wood chipper. And I'll speak in whatever idiom is appropriate, dammit. Bloody, backward-footed wanker.

Gummy? Berry? Juice? Do you suppose the Polish chap could give poor Gaylord some lessons? Hey Polish person, are you up for it?

Months that end in 'y'. Never on a holy day. Not while I'm giving a speech. Before or after is OK but not both. How kind of you to remember, Revolving Justicar Croda.

What a maroon. I mean, crikey, the guy can't even string together a half-dozen interesting sentences before he's crying in his milk. Look, Shaw, it's over, a'right? You lost, I win, it's a grand illustration of a fundamental aspect of life. You're a boob, I'm gifted. Guys like you always end up washing the jock of guys like me. Even a neanderthal like you should be able to understand. Get with it, buddy. Oh, since whatshisname who I invested with the office of Justicar previously has disappeared, I now assign the post of Revolving Justicar to Marlow. Abuse it as you see fit, lad, as it'll be handed over to someone else soon enough.

Days later. Schloss Peng remains undisturbed, the throne room vacant except for Seanachai, still expounding on the Grue, specifically the difference between the texture of Grue dung and Grue mung, and how it relates to the fall of the old Levantine empire of the Hoosnak Enter MrSpkr and Speedy MrSpkr: Boy that did it, just the appearance of the king scared the Outlaw Justicar back into hiding. Speedy: How'd you get that scar on your neck, anyway? MrSpkr: Problem is, it seems to have overawed the entire Cess, scared the lot into the wilderness. I think I saw young Croda in the Strategic Command Forum. Speedy: And those pins, and those staples, don't they hurt? MrSpkr (Staring at Speedy with disdain, then continuing): Yes, his regal power, I don't understand why that Outlaw Justicar can't acknowledge it. Speedy: You know, according to most laws of biology, you shouldn't be alive. MrSpkr: Come let us leave this place, I feel Seanachai may soon notice us. Exit MrSpkr Speedy (Following): Did you notice that gaping wound in the vicinity of your liver? My god man, you should have that looked at, I can see your pancreas. Exit Speedy. Curtains fall as Seanachai continues to expound

Meanwhile, back at the castle... Meeks: Damn that Outlaw Justicar, his taunts are so, so, nettling. Seanachai: Yes, your regalness, such qualities were paramount to his assuming the role of Outlaw Justicar. Nettling, as you can tell by that resume he keeps pinned to his chest, is his most salient attribute. By far his finest, and almost as constant as his overwhelming flatulence. I say, have you heard about the Shaws, as a people, they hail from-- Mace (From deep within the catacombs beneath the Schloss Peng): Grue want silence! Grue try to watch Osbornes!!! Grue a nielson family, responsible for television programming!!!! Seanachai: Amazing thing, grues, only coming out at night and all, I say, have you heard about the species, Gruellis Gruesomarius? Yes, astounding things, covered with hard chiten and calcified spikes. Not the kind of thing you'd expect from... (Moves downstage, continues to ramble throughout scene) Meeks: Could it be Shaw's angry about my poisoning his father and marrying his mother? Sycophant 1: Oh yes, my potentate, such wisdom, it must be true!!! Sycophant 2: Except, dear majesty, he knows not who his father is. Meeks: Perhaps what troubles him is death, or perhaps he thinks his life a comedy when all know it to be tragic. It begs the question, is he deserving or undeserving of his fate? Berli: It matters not, the deserving meet their just desserts, the undeserving their untimely end. Meeks: Where'd you come from? Berli: Pits of hell, I was out walking Cerberus, decided to stop by, see if you'd been usurped yet. Meeks: Oh, what happened to the Sycophants? Berli: Fed em to the dog. Meeks: Oh. Mace appears stage left, festering Mace: Grue can't concentrate on tetas, Grue no watch TV, Grue want eat fluffy. Meeks: I say, couldn't we find some of Shaw's old friends, tell them to find out what madness afflicts him, inside and out, then send him to England to have his noggin lopped off? Mace: Grue hate to point out logical fallacy but Shaw have no friend. Meeks: Damn. Curtains fall as schemers continue scheming...

You know, Joe, it's just an example of quality over abysmal quantity. You post and post, and the only way I can tell the difference between your inanity and the asswash from that Gaylord Focker chap is to place each in a bucket of ammonia. Yours seems to turn a cheap paisley, while his continues to smell like roasted toad ovaries. I've eaten toad ovaries, a delicacy of Chinese cuisine, mind you, and they taste just like your posts: squishy, limp and flavorless. My reasons for not posting are obvious, I'm out of titles and I see no real threat to my power. Outlaw Justicar, ha!, you're just a sniveling coward. This is what's wrong with the 'Pool, it's filled with fops, too busy spinning donuts to make anything of themselves. And get that cat off your crotch, man, show some dignity.

Oh don't start with that again, or I'll be forced to, wait, the Mormon Wives have all ready made an appearance. Ok, fine, wank away and melt back into the shadows, you maroon.

Oh that's right, Scottsdale or Scarsdale or Scunthell or somefink, right? I'll remember how quick you were to point out my wrongitude...

Just making an appearance. So will that Outlaw Justicar ever put up a fight for his honor or is he too busy luting his fluffy?

You guessed it, it's cabbage. But you're not hunting down that mangy dog for the food, are ya?

I'm glad you've accepted, all praise His Most Divine Holiness, the Archbishop OGSF. What are you archbishop of, anyway?

You know, I'll have to rely on gut instinct and not public abasement. I know he's against me, and he'll likely stab me in the toga at the first chance, but I hereby assign OGSF to the empty office of archbishop. He's obviously religious, for he speaketh in tongues. I have no idea what his responsibilities are, but I'm sure he'll overstep them generously.

No, the purpose of kingship is my own glorification so that, like Naram Sin, the Egyptian Pharoahs and Elvis, I can ascend to my rightful place in the pantheon. Killing newbies is just a side benefit. And the new Justicar is, well, new, but he's got an air of pomposity about him, like a washed Croda. I'm still considering who to appoint to archbishop... Hmmm...

From some other thread: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: You brought it up. SK is the official abbreviation for Saskatchewan. Don't be lazy...perhaps you meant ROK? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me, in response: It's the official Canadian abbreviation. According to international law, it is not only acceptable but required for other nationalities to ignore anything officially Canadian. But for you, as you'll notice in my last post, from now on I'll refer to them as South Korea and North Korea. Rackin, frackin Canadians, always dotting their 't's and crossing their 'i's... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just establishing my disdain and disgust in regard to Canadia.

Aaah, such insight. All of the confused supporters of the former Justicar should be so wise. Lars, you'll ride with Malakovski, as deputy Justicar, find this Shaw, and finnish him. (As an aside, while I own The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, I do not possess the Outlaw Josey Wales, which is a strike against me, I know, so I can't accurately quote anything out of the movie, though I would expect Malakovski and Lars to get stuck on a raft floating down the river) (Edited a second time to change 'finish' to 'finnish', this being the Eastern Front and all) [ January 20, 2003, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Elijah Meeks ]

As a fan of the Raiders, I assumed the proper punishment would be their defeat (Again) at the hands of the Silver and Black in the big bowl, but I suppose the best thing for them is to force the whole community to clean up the mess caused by the mass-seppeku in the 700 section. I mean, losing to Tampa in the cold at the Vet, it's not just pathetic, it's fitting. What a way to close that dump down (Except for the Porky's-esque locker room). Hmmm, by official proclamation, all knights who were Eagles fans are herewith, Raiders fans. They will, in the most touching twist of fate to befall an organization riddled with failure and disappointment, be forced to root for the team that destroyed them twenty years back. It reminds me of our Outlaw Justicar, whose abdication has fit perfectly into my plan. Now Malakovski is the official Justicar, and his primary duty of office is to stamp out these foul usurpers and scatter their bits to the four quarters of the Cess. Of course, Shaw's strife caused the Old Ones, who like the Annunaki are still greater than even I, to create a position of Archbishop of the Pool. But now it stands empty, Shaw too happy to eat beans out of the can, living the life of the bucaneer. I wonder what valiant, loyal soul will soon fill this office. I wonder... [ January 20, 2003, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: Elijah Meeks ]

What a quandry. I can tell you, this mess in the 'Pool is almost as bad as my game with Nidan, who if representative of the tactics of the Justicar's lot, condemns the counterreformation to a swift and incompetent end. I mean, Christ, who scouts out a town with a Tiger II? What an imbecile. I can say this, he's racked up a considerable body count via friendly fire, which again seems indicative of this little schism redux.

Oh, that's prophetic, university starts up again in a week and the shots of grain alcohol I need just to read your mind-numbing posts might affect my suma. But I doubt it. Et tu, OGSF? Et tu? Of all the ones who stand with Shaw, you? You're a raving lunatic, I'm a raving lunatic. You're incomprehensible, I'm incomprehensible, though my incomprehensibility is a result of my enlightened existence and your incomprehensibility is a byproduct of the same disease that riddles your body with festering boils. But, and this is what gets me, you're a bloodthirsty maniac, of a kind unseen since Whistler, and to align yourself with the Silent Majority of the Cesspool, when you could be on the side with the Grue, seems, well, antithetical.

Oh, what's this, how many hands is that horse of yours, you pitchfork waving buffoon? Who mans the machineguns but the thread itself? Who stamps the shell casings but everything you hold sacred? Who's dainty fingers pack powder but those of the Pool's own women? What numskull robs graves for used medical equipment and melts it down for the slugs but the opinion of those that came before us? The Pool is a living, breathing thing, it sensed its illness, sensed that, long ago, and knew that only my careful ministrations could bring it back. Look ye, to the spate of recent postings, and tremble! for they are good and they spring from mine own loins!!! Fool, charlaten, hanger-on to the old ways, haven't you seen the blossoms of late, the disappearance of the whinging, namby-pamby, old Pool! Why even Y2K has the martial spirit!!!

That just shows you don't know how to open up the depth layer control. It's the only way you can get past the Bismarck's Ghost level.

Fluffy... I like it. Oh yea, I like it mightily. Do you have a usage guide? Is it gender neutral or could there be fluffettes? Would two be Fluffies or fluffites or just fluffy? And you're not Earl Speedy, just Earl. Notice how Joe Shaw has disappeared in shame, I tell you, what kind of Justicar is that? If he does not respond soon, then he will have defaulted on his duties, and dutied on his defaults. Back to the painful hardships of rule.