Seanachai

And "its spelled Harvard" is spelled "it's spelled Harvard". Having admitted you were 'too lazy' to actually be a Marine, does this mean that you were at Harvard as a Security Guard? Because I, frankly, am not buying the concept that you graduated with a degree in anything but lying your arse off. Wrong again, actually, proving that there is almost no sphere of human knowledge in which you aren't being shown up. The Red Wolf is a sub-species of the North American Gray Wolf. Had you said that none currently live in the wild, you could probably be considered correct. The current population of about 300 or so exist in zoos. What type of uniforms were the 'military' that paid for you wearing? And how much did you get in any given transaction? Just curious. Frankly, I've seen a display of writing skills from you that would discredit most middle school children in my state. I find it inconceivable that you even attended Harvard, let alone graduated from there with a degree in Law. The ability to read a few books on modern weapons systems and then parrot back a few vaguely remembered half-facts doesn't make you an expert, either. You're a sad little character with serious self-esteem issues, aren't you? Don't be afraid. We all like you, we really, really do! But you do know that it's wrong to lie and get angry when you're caught at it, don't you?

It was by William Kotzwinkle. The main character, the 'Fan Man's' name was Horse Badorties. It's on the middle shelf of the bookcase by the door, which I usually reserve for lesser works. In reading about off-the-wall characters, I'd recommend John Kennedy Toole's "A Confederacy of Dunces", or Michael Malone's "Handling Sin", or T.R. Pearson's "Off For the Sweet Hereafter".

In fact, after knocking back the bottle that Moriarity sent along to the first Meeting of the Olde Ones, you not only voted him a capital fellow, but actually proposed posting that on the Cesspool. Fortunately, by that time no one could type.

Quiver scum!</font>

Good God, lad, this is more than any of us need to know, and is not the compliment you probably envision it as!

It is with deep sorrow that I find a certain amount of 'wisdom' in the otherwise 'mumbled over a paper bag filled with a bottle of white port' remarks of the Justicar. Noba's involvement with Gunny Bunny must be investigated, lest it bring deep discredit to the Cesspool. I am deeply perturbed by Noba's failure to address the several requests we've made after information. In fact, his remarks to date would seem to indicate to a merely suspicious man (as opposed to a deeply, almost pathologically paranoid one such as our Joe), that he does, indeed, have something to hide. Something more shameful than merely 'playing' in a Gunny Bunny sponsored tournament (although the gods know there's enough shame in that to paint three normal people, although it only covers one Australian by spreading it very thin). It is this deeper and darker shame, hinted at by Noba's swings between defiance, avoidance, and denial, that convinces me that the full power of the Justicar must be turned loose on Noba. Also, it's unbearably hot and humid here in Minnesota, I have no air-conditioning, and I don't see why I should be the only one on this planet that's completely miserable. Knowing that others, and especially Noba, are suffering horribly under the almost psychotic attentions of the Justicar will bring a happy smile to my face as I sit sweating in the 'suit' I've created by wiring together four window fans and suspending them from shoulder straps.

Don't be afraid, Capt. You are never alone. We are always with you. I am still pondering your questions. And I have, this night, wrestled with demons. If I'm not banned over the match, I shall attempt to come to further grips with the questions that plague us both. Now be quiet! I'm an old man, and I need my sleep!

Upstaged? Upstaged?! You're not yet over your dependence on an evening's stroking and 'imaginary friend' discussion with 'Snuggles, the Fabric Softener Bear', and you have the sodding gall to step up and face me down and claim that I've been 'upstaged' on the Outer Boards? Lad, you're a lost, lonely, and newly shorn lamb adrift in a sea of hurt if you think that any of you silly little poseurs can upstage me! Do ya' see, lad, it's like this: I come here and post, all nice and fussy, as it were, and you little 'ooh, look, I can see the glory of the Peng Challenge if I squinch up my eyes' lot of self-important kittens post, and I smile and prattle on like a half-witted old Gnome about what a lot of jolly fellows you recent Squires and Knights are, and meantime you continue to post in your usual way, which indicates that every single one of you is completely and utterly bereft of not only any claim to intelligence, but the very glandular material that makes up a biological definition of 'manhood', and I call for a jolly sing-song, and you lot hop about the Thread with your pants around your ankles asking why no one is waving at 'Peter Rabbit' and wishing him a 'happy trip to visit Mister Endocrinoligist'. Now you, Pondscum, aren't a complete and utter lackwit, but you've strayed far over the line into the: "Ha-ha! I'm the very measure of a man, am I! Look how I attempt to trade insults with a wee, pudgy, wispy haired figure of a Gnome who could utterly crush all my pretensions to anything approaching intellect, knowledge, or even fully-descended testicles! See how I attempt to bait him by pointing this sharpened stick at my own groin and then running forward! I have told him, do you see, and I can only hope that someone was actually listening, that someone elsewhere attempted to make fun of him! And I was right! Someone did! But it wasn't me, because I only read other people's remarks, and if I don't undestand them, I get tired, and go back to the Peng Challenge Thread to try to explain what I've read!" Now, Pondscum. I've always liked you, actually. But I think it would be best, at this point, if you'd simply lie down and make some mewing noises. No one will think the less of you, lad, for doing so. Simply because no one holds a cockroach up to anything but the most essential test of Evolution, which is 'survivability'. You've passed that one, after all. But cockroaches can't sing. And I seriously want to hear a jolly sing-song, lad. [ June 30, 2002, 03:56 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Yes, I like this. Especially as I've just seen a spectacular bit of ingratitude from my own Squire, R Leete in another thread, a very much lesser thread, in which he had the unmitigated gall to accuse me of toying with him, simply because I advocated committing acts of unnatural rudeness to individuals so lost to all hope of redemption as to have Member Numbers above 5000. I have, of course, shown nothing but a loving, if stern and fatherly face to young Roger. A certain level of 'rebellion', of course, is expected. But ingratitude and whinging, no. Had he abused me here, in our Homeland ("Oppas, all you kaffirs, get your passbooks ready, verstaan?"), I would have known it for what it was. But he chose to prance like a poodle in a foreign thread. An insignificant thread. A thread of no value at all. Well, except for my comments, of course, which were quite good. Now, I asked myself, what sort of penance should a Squire be required to make in such a case? And then I came to the Thread of threads and saw the above post by that Otherwise Compleat Failure of Evolution, Goanna, and said to myself, 'yes'. The assumption of a signature penance would be quite in keeping with the nature of R Leete's lapse into error. It would be seen in every thread the silly git had the temerity to push his way into, spreading the knowledge of his singular failure even unto Grogs, Half-wits, and Utter Sodding Pillocks. So, and cleverness counts less here than a bald-faced level of humiliation, I require that my Squire, R Leete, assume as his signature until I shall release him from this burden, the following: I, R Leete, am an apostate member of House Bard. Forgetting duty to Honour, Liege, and the 'Pool, I have fallen into error. I abase myself in my contrition, and ask only that Seanachai, my Liege, shall accept this, my most spitefully offered and enforced penance. How I hate you, you sodding awful old man. But, on to my penance. I proclaim before both God, Grog, 'Pooler, and the Ladies of the 'Pool, not to mention any number of lesser half-wits, that there is no thread but The Thread, and Peng is its Prophet. Now, with a signature like that, I imagine he'll stay out of trouble until I release him from this observance.

Hey, bub. I'm 5652, and I'm supposed to be your @#$% squire. Was it just a come-on? Now I just feel cheap. I have been used. Some floozy that you yanked around like a perverted forum toy. And in spite of Andreas (or just to spite him in general) I'm not some johnny-come-lately SSN. I am more than my number! I am worth listening to. Okay, only on ocassion, but I do get in a good post every 3 or 4 hundred.</font>

Miles Gloriosus, A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum Fancy yourself 'conqueror of thousands', eh? [ June 28, 2002, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

It is because we are gentle, parfait Knights, and as such are committed to championing the cause of the Faire Sex.

Already stated it in one of the innumerable 'when will CMBB be released' threads. I copped October 15th. Why? Why the hell not. I simply didn't have access to a complete 'in the original, obscure, and largely illiterate latin-french' work of Nostradamus when I combed my date out of the air. Nor did I make reference to various Real World battles, campaign kick-offs, or lunatic fringe conspiracy clique 'dates of significance'. Finally, I avoided using Powerball machines to generate numbers that I could pretend to myself had something to do with the release date, nor did I cast through an internal landscape of personally 'significant' dates such as birthdate, anniversary, first sexual experience (for many obsessed with the release date, this would be just as speculative a 'yet to occur' date), or the date on which the very first incarnation of the Peng Challenge Thread died. I just randomly selected a date that seemed somewhere on the cusp between Q3 and Q4, and flung it forth. And I would very much appreciate it if BFC would do everything in their power to actually release the game on that date so that any number of gibbering lackwits will regard me as the New Messiah.

Hmm, this works for me. I actually know my member number, and I've been reading the posts of Hofbauer since before I even had a member number, and the disparity between what he's had to say and what I've had to say is consistent with our relative placement in the scheme of things. And, because my member number is below the 1500 mark, I did notice, within seconds, that the purpose of this thread was to be humourous. Of course, my lower member number also allowed me to very quickly discern that it wasn't a particularly interesting joke. Comedy level almost nil. On the other hand, because my member number was over the 1,000 mark, I did derive a few moments of happy laughter from the number of people who showed up to not understand that a joke, however stupid, was even being made. In truth, while my member number is often extremely useful to me in terms of figuring out what is happening here on the Forum, and putting it into proper perspective, I am often left somewhat perturbed and uncertain when I attempt to use it as a reference point with those whose member numbers are even lower and more impressive. Sometimes I agonize for hours over whether 'my' interpretation of a post, or the information it presents, is quite in line with 'the truth'. Often, I only feel comfortable actually debating and discussing things with people within about '200' or so of my own number. I begin to quiver with anxiety when I feel the need to reply to anyone who's member number is more than 500 less than my own. Of course, for all you tossers with member numbers over 5000, I'm completely comfortable with going to your homes and killing your pets while singing show tunes and telling your children they're ugly and stupid. And when I fall asleep at night, I often think to myself: I wonder if M. Hofbauer likes me. I mean, does he really like me, as if I were a person?

Ah-Ha! Schism! Schism! See, it happens to everybody! It's only a matter of time before Meeks shows up here! Notice how they make a point of citing Charles in BFC when it's clear he's been locked up for months until he acknowledges his 'errors' and recants his committment to 'Satan and All His Little Wizards'! The real reason that CMBB isn't ready for release! Perhaps if we begin a letter writing campaign politely requesting that BFC release him, and remind them that 'the whole world is watching'. [ June 28, 2002, 04:34 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

That was weak. Weak as water! Please?! I've been getting satirical, and even sarcastic with the prancing little "ooh, BTS, we so need to know when the 'next big thing' will be arriving! Tell us, tell us, please?!", and you post this limp, courteous thread asking them to refrain? Alright, Leeo (no less a member of the Cesspool for posting like some sort of sodding Combat Mission Smokey-the-Bear), you've at least had the ba– er...'guts' to start up a thread asking the inmates to stop posting like a bunch of teen girls anxiously awaiting the next Britney Spears/Boy Band disk release. But you've done it in a way that can only be characterized as 'weak'. Frankly, it needs to be done more like this: SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! THE BLOODY GAME WILL BE DONE WHEN THEY ANNOUNCE ITS RELEASE! THE WHINGING, PULING, AND BEGGING BY A LOT OF PRANCING 'OOH, I NEED TO KNOW' FORUM PRINCESSES ISN'T 'SLOWING' DEVELOPMENT OF THE GAME, IT'S SIMPLY GIVING EVERYONE THE RED ARSE BECAUSE WE'RE ALL SICK OF LISTENING TO A GANG OF EYELASH BATTING, POUTING, 'AREN'T I IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO KNOW, OOH, LOOK AT ME, I NEED TO KNOW!' BUNCH OF BETA-TESTER WANNABES! By all the gods, I'm sure that if that lot posts enough unrelieved, whining, f'ing gibberish, Battlefront will not only put them on the 'A' list of 'People We Must Notify, Immediately', but will ask them to the Opening Night Festivities when innumerable bottles of Dom Perignon will be drunk, snails will be eaten, unbelievably expensive caviar will be nibbled, and then tossed into various plant containers because they taste like goddamn fish eggs, Steve and Charles will be in evidence to sign articles of clothing, footware, bodies, and perform impromptu baptisms; Madmatt will have a bust of himself done, sculpted in butter, and Moon will move excessively drunk attendees into 'the General Party Room'. In short, I can't imagine that I'm the only intelligent human being left on this planet who's sick to bloody death of listening to a bunch of half-wits beg for a release date. If their 'ooh, tell me, tell me' posts continue, I shall encourage the members of the Peng Challenge Thread to 'vote their conscience', which will release them to get seriously medieval on the bums of the offenders. We keep lists. And aren't afraid to act on them.

No, no, YK2. And, for that matter, Persephone. And Kitty recently posted a quick hello in the Cesspool. These are all women who post on the Board. In what can only be described as consummate irony, they generally post in the Cesspool, which is one of the few areas of the Forum where a female poster is treated courteously enough to continue regular posting.

Michael, that was simply beautiful. You're still a complete nutter, of course, but I'd be proud to stand up in any mental competency hearing and say I know you. P.S. - I think Hiram was simply having you on, lad. Like myself, of course, he can go a bit over the top, though.

You know, if you keep this up, even my taunting and abusing you as a disraction isn't going to work, and people are going to start hitting you with things. Perhaps you should just seek out a nice, relaxing PBEM of CMBO, and stop turning cartwheels and making high-pitched yipping noises like a 13 year old girl who's just discovered that biology has pretty much doomed her to a life of trying to attract attention from people she'll learn to hate?

Gasp! It must be so! He's waving a sheaf of betting slips over his head while on 'Cess Camera'! That can only indicate hardcopy evidence of wrong doing that simply couldn't be risked by displaying it on-line to a hopeless bunch of lackwits who would actually find posting in the Peng Challenge Thread a fun way of spending a Tuesday night! Noba, lad, how is it that you have obviously, and openly, and in a way that still escaped my understanding since Joe didn't explain exactly what was going on on that stupid site that had something to do with an f'ing halfwit of almost biblical proportions, that is, 'Gunny Bunny', how is it that you've managed to insinuate yourself into the Peng Challenge Thread in such a way that any of us could be concerned that you were involved in what can only be characterized as an 'unnatural', and, most likely 'UnAmerican' way with the above said 'Gunny Bunny'? Oh, and don't fall back on pointing out that you're not 'an American', because these days, you're either 'an American', or you're against us, and we all know what happens to those who are against us (and no, I am not making some sort of disgusting reference to Grog Dorosh's mannequin, and a play on the concept of being 'against us', thank you very much). What happens, in fact, is that you're labeled as 'unreliable', and that George W. Bush looks at you with his scrunched up, 'eyebrows drawn into a single line' expression, which the charitable have characterized as his 'I can't go to the bathroom' face, but which more knowledgeable analysts recognize as his 'My God, will this thought never finish completely passing through my brain?' look. [ June 26, 2002, 02:46 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Don't be daft. It's still here because we're all having such fun with it. And Grog Dorosh is a serious forum regular, which makes it all that much more fun. But you miss the most significant portion of the whole thing: The Uniform! I mean, really. There are dozens of posters on this Board, yourself amongst them, who've entered into physical or emotional bonds with inanimate objects or household pets that go well beyond social propriety, or even many local laws. But the uniform! That's what makes this uniquely weird, and appropriate to the Forum! I mean, has that egregious half-wit, Rommel22 ever posted: I pissed my dogs off on purpose, to make them show their teeth, after dressing them in Nazi regalia? Has Fionn, the High Priest of Rectitude, ever posted: my extensive rules covering every aspect of human endeavour, including both birth, life, death, and the playing of Combat Mission, shall also cover the following: 1) My opponents are required, while plotting turns, to wear the uniform appropriate to the nationality they are currently playing. 2) That wearing the uniform is not required if the turn being viewed is a 'movie only' turn, but if the turn is a 'movie/plotting' turn, and the uniform is not at least adequately displayed on a mannequin in the same room in which the turn is being plotted, the game will be declared a miscarriage of history, and penance will need be done by both sides. This will only be made more heart-breaking if either side was eating shell-fish at the time when the uniform was not properly being worn/displayed... Or have we ever seen JasonC post: As regards an attack using historical parameters in which both sides acknowledge that there are certain very real flaws in the game engine that do not take into account an historically noted tendency of Axis units to turn for leadership, if, during combat, all their Officers and NCOs had, by means of small arms fire willfully applied and in excess of normal parameters, been eliminated, to seek direction from the unit weiner dog, if that same weiner dog was found to be wearing the appropriate uniform, with peaches and regalia...sorry, that should have been 'patches' and regalia, appropriate to the level of the officer that originally owned the weiner dog, then we would expect results that may vary significantly from a normal QB where weiner dogs in proper uniform are improperly modeled, due to the limitations of applying post-war morale data to wartime 'weiner dog in uniform' combat data. Did you know I collaborated with Madonna? You see, lad, when you get right down to it, Grog Dorosh, who is as mad as any of us might hope to avoid, is still one of us.

Joe, I am disturbed by this post. In fact, I am left somewhat confused and bereft. First, why or how anyone from this Thread of threads would be posting a link to anything with Gunny Bunny's name in it, on it, or even erased from it, simply escapes me. Frankly, I'd be less disturbed if I heard you cruised trendy inner city parks on the weekend to pick up child prostitutes than to discover you patronized anything to do with Gunny Bunny. Nextly, what exactly are you revealing about that daft swine (but, still and all, our daft swine) Noba? Are you telling us that he knowingly, and with malice afore-thought, entered into some sort of tourney that had anything to do with Gunny Bunny? I am beyond confused. I am devastated. Say it ain't so, Joe! I don't care if he is Australian. I'll never believe he's Gunny Bunny's little boy toy until I read it from his own tap-tapping fingers. Let us not rush to judgement, people. However, if our worst fears are born out, let us all seriously rush forward to put the boot in, and cripple the silly Aussie swine! On a quick aside, Joe, you excel at this business of innuendo, sudden revelation, and calumny! One would almost think, except for your obvious uprightness, that Tail Gunner Joe had been reincarnated! Scary, to say the least.

Michael, do you ever sit it in a rocking chair, and talk to it while calling it mother? Panzer Leader, I can't think of anyone who's name is more deserving of being associated with this thread.

Is that the one where he asks Grog Dorosh if the way to get girls is to have a mannequin in his apartment? Loved Dorosh's extremely disturbed original post with pics of the be-uniformed mannequins he keeps in his apartment. Norman Bates has nothing on our lad Dorosh.

I wouldn't take that from some fellow who's apparently named himself after a city in Amn, Boo.