Seanachai

I haven't been feeling well. I have a note from home, if it helps?

Well, Plan B, then. We sit back and wait for her to divorce you, then encourage her to sell the ring for a month of non-stopping partying to 'help her forget'...

Has always been what Lewis's posts were all about. Heat is what he's after, not illumination.

How big a diamond are we talking you out of buying for her? Would it cost enough to fly me and Dalem to England to put the boot in on Soddball?

That or 'Shari's husband, whatshisname'.

Shari is too fine a person to want to selfishly indulge herself by making Lars buy her expensive diamond rings, instead of spending the money on making sure Dalem, Papa Khann and myself never have a sober moment in which we are not eating barbecue while trolling the lake this summer. Hold out, Lars. Soon her finer instincts will come to the fore, and she will tell you: "No, honey! No silly diamond for me! Put the money into a special 'entertaining Seanachai and Company' account at the bank..."

This is wrong-headed thinking. Monies not spent on ridiculously expensive gemstone rings may more properly be employed entertaining the Minnesota Miscreants.

What do you mean? The Quebecois? You Belgians are a very imprecise people... Besides which, aren't Belgians simply faux-French? You know, Frenchmen with a thin veneer of respectability applied...

Better yet, have Boo create some semi-precious stone ring for her. Much cheaper, and would have the special cachet of being a paw-crafted native artifact, a sterling example of Cesspool craftsmanship.

That just seems wrong on so many levels. Do you mean real French, juggling snails, hissing and slurping his words like an angry goose and muttering that maybe Le Pen isn't all wrong? Or simply of French extraction?

Did you know that DeBeers pays the Russians hard currency to keep their stockpiled diamonds off the international market? If Russia was to dump what they have in vaults onto the market, they'd be so cheap we'd be buying 5 carat stones and giving them to 6 year olds to use for marbles... Tell Shari that buying a diamond puts money into the pockets of a corrupt, monopolistic industry that abuses it's workers and creates arificial shortages in order to keep prices high. She doesn't want to be a shill to the International Diamond Cartel, does she? Tell her to stand up and be counted! No money wasted on diamonds to make evil swine richer!

Hokay, now is the time on the Peng Challenge Thread when we all... SAMPO! cues Finnish salsa music Dalem me wee, halfwit friend. When shall we three (along with various dependents and hangers-on) meet again?

I'm sure the marsupials and other, less well-evolved creatures all turn their pockets inside out as a mark of their admiration. But what can you expect? After all, Evolution packed it in on your little island centuries ago, and decided that everything 'too fecking silly' to make it on a real continent would be allowed to triumph. I mean, in Shute's 'On the Beach', the radioactive fallout even went to Australia last...

It's a good thing that you're a fairly young man, Stuka. Counseling might still have a shot at getting some use to Society out of you before you actually kack.

Thanks, Stuka. That's the post I'm going to Interpol with...

The Notorious ‘Three shandy’s Seanachai', immune? Pull the other one! </font>

While it was wonderful to visit the Chicagoland area, the down-side is I've returned home horribly afflicted with a cold. I'd blame Berli, but nothing could live in his apartment, not even germs. His disturbing practice of self-mutilation/sacrifice has driven all the disease spirits from the area. No, sadly, this regrettable illness is the result of having spent 3 days with college friends who have young children. As charming as children are, they are also disease carrying little plague rats. Hopefully at least some turns will go out tonight...

They don't have real winter. Which is why they'll never amount to anything.

If you're going to keep this up, I demand you stick my head on Jennifer Connelly's body...

Did I mention that NG Cavscout was one of Nature's nobleman, and treated me to a fine tex-mex breakfast, as well as filling me up with coffee and allowing me to meet his youngest daughter, who was quite sweet and unbelievably cute? It did slow down my arrival somewhat in Illinois, as he insisted I accompany him on his 'gratuity' route, and keep the car running while he picked up his 'gratuity envelopes' from various merchants and small businessmen...

You are very low and uncouth fellows. I pity you.

I see that some baseless lies have been spread on this Thread about my recent trip to Chicagoland. While in Chicagoland, I watched over small children, did good works and served as a blessing unto all man and womankind. People came forward to touch me, to clasp my hand, or even just touch the fringe of my garments. A glowing aura of goodness and peace shone all around me. I was a light in that dark place. Now that I have returned to Minnesota, I don't know what will become of them all. I fear greatly for the souls of both Bauhaus and Moriarity. At heart they are good men, but without me there as an example I fear that they may stray into unrighteous paths.

And we know what happens to small, fuzzy, defenceless bunnies, don't we? </font>

Right, like there's any way to spell something wrong in a made-up, pseudo-language like Finnish, anyways. Did you realize it's spoken by Finns?!

And we know what happens to small, fuzzy, defenceless bunnies, don't we?