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Hakko Ichiu

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Posts posted by Hakko Ichiu

    I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Turns are now OUT ... well most of them that is. I still owe Moriarty but since he's said not one nice thing about me lately (or actually forever) I'm going to refuse to send his turn. I realize that this IS the CessPool and we never say nice things about each other but I think he owes me.

    MrSpkr and Marlow both sent new turns that I haven't gotten around to ignoring yet.

    AussieJeff ... {sigh} ... a pity really, he did try so hard to create that operation of his. But ... Saturn's just not in the right phase for me to undertake an operation right now, and don't get me started on Mars. Perhaps something smaller lad?

    All this poolboy talk ... I tried to warn you but NOOOOooooo, you didn't have to listen to the Justicar, what does HE know, what harm can one little poolboy cause? Told you so.

    Jo Xia, the 'Pool-boy is dead, and though you didn't order it, it certainly suits your justicarial purposes. So, one good turn deserves another. Send me my fecking turn (not that you could ever produce a good one).

    In other news, Geier is rudely and gamily destroying things that belong to me. This must cease. Fortunately, we only have a few turns left, after which my brave Tommies can get back to making smores by the embers of the VLs.

    Roxy, your proposition interests me strangely. Pray continue.

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    I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Scene: Upon the blasted heath, overlooking the Olde Ones' Cabana Bar. A low fire crackles. Three figures huddle round its warmth passing a bottle between them. A weary figure enters the wan circle of light. He is carrying an empty glass with a paper parasol and a fruit kabob.

    Hakko Ichiu (for it is he): Wotcher, lads. Here, Peng, I saved this for you. (tosses fruit kabob at Peng).

    Peng: Feck off.

    Hakko: In a good mood, not to say spirits, are we?

    Berli: Why'd you have to...

    Hakko: Jealous, Berli? You know you wanted to. The Falling Cherry Blossoms bit was just for a flourish, of course.

    Berli: Dibs on Mike for next time.

    Hakko: If you like. Just as long he doesn't bring me one of these froo-froo drinks. They're only fit for the likes of Seanachai, who'll drink anything.

    Seanachai: Fairy!

    Hakko: Ooh, she's one to talk in that cap and bell outfit. Anyway, I'm not here to argue. I'm here for a real drink and a bit of a sing-song. One for the Ladies this time, eh, and a fine, cautionary tale it is. Come on, lads, with feeling:

    So come all young men, come listen awhile,

    I'll tell you what happened at Firelock Stile,

    When a stump of a nail catched hold of her clothes

    She fell down, and did expose

    Her old Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day.

    A gay young buck was standing by

    The sight of her quim so dazzled his eye

    She said "Young man, I feel amazed

    To see a young gentleman stand and gaze

    At my Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day."

    She said "Young man, if you mean what you say

    And twenty bright guineas in gold were to pay,

    If twenty bright guineas in gold you did pay,

    Then, young man, you can fiddle away

    On my Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day."

    That very soon he gave consent

    And into the woods together they went

    While he pre-formed and she pre-tuned

    The boy and the beauty kept time to the tune

    on her Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day.

    Now six weeks being over, as I have been told

    She gave him some fire to keep him from cold,

    To keep him from cold, both night and day,

    And he cursed the young damsel that learned him to play

    On her Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day.

    Now all young men, come listen awhile

    I've told you what happened at Firelock Stile

    Or else, like me, you'll rue the day

    You go into the woods to learn to play

    On her Rump-a-tump tooral looral laddiedy

    Rump-a-tump tooral looral day.

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    I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    I know we Ladies Of The Pool must stick together, but I have fond memories of Hakko he was dressed from head to toe in leather and looked just like Nick Cage, he sang Love me Tender and I almost melted.

    *sigh* Guess I'll just have to toss a coin.

    "This whole world's wild at heart and weird on top."

    "I'm a robber and a man-slaughterer and I haven't had any parental guidance."

    Besides, those 'Pool-boys make great practice dummies.

    Roxy, for the record, I work for no man, especially not Jo Xia

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    I Have Been to the Mountaintop, and Found the Peng Challenge, And Some Old Beer Cans

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Scene: A dark and stormy night. The entrance to a broken down hostelry sign-posted "Ye Olde Ones' Hostelry and Cabana Bar". Silhouetted by a flash of lightning, a weary figure stands amid the bamboo that overgrows the path to the door. His footsteps crunch on the gravel path, except when he steps in something noisome and slimey. A gust of wind blows open the door just as he approaches the threshold. Hitching up his swords and running his hand over his shaved head, he steps in. The room is empty.

    Hakko Ichiu (for it is he and none other): (shouting and pounding on the table) Drink! Bring me a drink.

    Silence. Finally, a rustling sound is heard. A figure emerges carrying a tray and an order pad, and wearing a Speedo™.

    Gaylord: Hello, and welcome to the Olde Ones' Cabana bar. My name is Gaylord and I'll be your 'Pool boy for the evening. Can I take your order?

    Hakko: What manner of foolishness is this? I spend long weeks campaigning against the darkness on the outer boards and I come back to this? Strutting popinjays in fluorescent underwear! Where are the Scum-sucking Newbies grovelling in the dirt? And why all the frilly umbrellas and tropical decor.

    Gaylord: Change of management. Some of the owners thought that a woman's touch would brighten up the place. Make it more welcoming. Increase traffic. That sort of thing. So, what can I get you.

    Hakko: Whiskey! A Lagavulin, or maybe a Bruichladdich or an Aberlour. Water on the side.

    Gaylord: Hmm, I don't know if I can pronounce those, let alone pour them. But I'll check with our head mixologist. Back in a jiffy.

    He pirouettes toward the kitchen and prances off.

    Hakko: Woman's touch. Bah! I remember when there were real women in the 'Pool. Women who would dress up in full length mesh body-stockings and melt into a puddle at the sight of my Nicholas Cage imitation. Real women. Not trailer-park trash who have to hire two-bit Texas shysters to get anywhere in the world. And now 'Pool-boys. Disgusting!

    Gaylord re-emerges with a tall, frothy drink topped by a paper parasol and a fruit kabob.

    Gaylord: Sorry, ducks, but we tossed out all those smelly, over-consonanted cough medicines during the makeover. But I've mixed together a concoction that I think will make you forget all thos horrid, Caledonian drinkie-poos. It's a combination of crème de menthe, triple sec, Courvoisier, cassis, framboise, heavy cream and...

    As Gaylord is reciting the ingredients list, Hakko executes the drawing cut known as "Willow Stretches Branches", which neatly severs Gaylord's head from his trunk and results in a cascading fountain of blood. He then performs the classic maneuver, "Cherry Blossoms Fall on the Breeze", dicing the flying head into four equal quarters. He wipes his blade and sheathes it. Before Gaylord's body can fall to the ground, Hakko neatly whips the drink off the tray without spilling a drop and takes a long sip.

    Hakko: Ah, most refreshing. Perhaps this 'Pool-boy concept isn't so bad after all.

    Fade to black

    [ August 18, 2002, 08:35 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

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    For the Record, I Am the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Well, ladies, I'm back. I was someplace hot, humid, and stinky for a week (sit down, Bauhaus), and I know there was a reason why, but somewhere in all that I met MrSpkr, and the searing vomitrociousness of that moment has left me so traumatized that I can remember nothing else of what happened between July 21 and 28. Oddly enough, the MBT seems to have changed not a whit and Joe Shaw still owes me a fecking turn.

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    London Sneak Preview Part Deux

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by DrAlimantado:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

    Tell you what: why don't you e-mail me a zip of the game and we can play TCP/IP on that day. I promise I'll send the file back when we're done. Honest.

    Tsk, tsk, Ethan you have been to the UK right? And which UK ISP would be able to handle that kind of heavy internet traffic? BT? HA HA HA HA!

    But a good try though :D

    </font>

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    The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    p.s. Greetings from Sunny Phoenix ... wish you were here.

    While in Phoenix, be sure to take advantage of the many amenities on offer. Particularly, the wholesome, healthful sunshine. Be sure to bask in the full rays of our life-giving star at its highest point, around noon. No need to overdo it, just, two hours from 11 to 1 should be all you need. Avoid those nasty, chemical sunscreens, as they are nasty chemicals. One thing, avoid the water. If anybody should offer you anything to drink, politely refuse. You'll be a glowing picture of health in no time.
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    The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Geier:

    The Old Firm is expanding. Due to an increase in demand (not revenue sadly) we have been allowed (by the powers that be) to hire yet another associate. Said associate will begin training in roughly 36 weeks time and will indubitably help us with keeping our very demanding customers happy, as soon as he/she is on solids and has put away the comforter.

    I sense a disturbance in the force. No, my mistake, just a bit of indigestion. Anyway, congratulations, Johan. I guess the little woman kept herself busy while you were away on that business trip a fortnight ago. Have you registered for gifts at Siggi's House of Lutfisk, or should I just send a moose to you by direct mail?

    P.S Ethan. Send me a fecking a file after you're done blowing your bra... shooting yourself in the head.
    Unfortunately, my turn output ain't what it ought to be as I have the kids to myself while SWMBO is in New Jack City for the week teaching college graduates how to do sums. I'll get to it when I can. The good thing is that next week it's my turn to be away all week at a kick-ass (pun intended) martial arts seminar, and I won't have to endure the inanities of the 'Pool during that time. Hurrah!
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    London Sneak Preview Part Deux

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Andreas:

    Well, I have the Mac version, so unless you finally see the light, it won't do you much good, now would it?

    I think it would be truly evil to send you that Stuffed version though... Mhahahaha...

    What more proof, if proof were needed, could one ask for? He is evil I tell you. Eeeeeevillll.

    Christmas, eh wot? Mr.Peng's again?

    Sounds like a plan.
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    The NEW Peng Challenge ... Available Before Sept. 20th

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Sgt. Schultz:

    How as (sic)that?

    Overall, I'd say it had a nice melody, but I couldn't dance to it.

    Venom quotient was adequate, but it lacked a soupçon of a certain, how shall I say, je ne sais quoi that renders it unfit for human consumption, or just about perfect for you, snook'ums.

    Now sod off. You're giving us Tarheels a bad name for all the wrong things. Then again you're from Down East and it's difficult to operate on all mental cylinders when you've been scraped from the bottom of a very shallow gene pool. Give my regards to your mother...er, sister...er, cousin...er, whatever. You know who I mean, but be careful; one look at her and Mace will be after her faster than poop through a goose. Best to take her out of the waller and make her into country ham a'fore that happens.

    Oh, and MrSpkr, I would remind you that in the more refined parts of North Carolina, unlike in, say, Texas, when we are consorting with our first degree relations we always use protection. To do otherwise would be ungentlemanly.

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