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Hakko Ichiu

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Posts posted by Hakko Ichiu

    For whom the Peng Challenges

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    All this high-minded philosophical discussion has put me in the mood for a sing-song. All together now (especially you lads, sheilas, and sheep from Down Under):

    Immanuel Kant was a real pissant

    Who was very rarely stable

    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

    Who could think you under the table

    David Hume could out consume

    Schopenhauer and Hegel

    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

    Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

    There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya

    'Bout the raising of the wrist

    Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will

    On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill

    Plato they say, could stick it away

    Half a crate of whiskey every day

    Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle

    Hobbes was fond of his dram

    And René Descartes was a drunken fart

    "I drink, therefore I am"

    Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed

    A lovely little thinker

    But a bugger when he's pissed

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    For whom the Peng Challenges

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Nidan1:

    Don't worry there will be no presents from me, it is surprising to me that invertebrates live this long.

    Can't someone hit this moron on the Dim Mak point of death and proper use of punctuation?

    Turns have gone out, not that any of you deserve them (except Andreas and MrSpkr who have bought me meat and drink in the past).

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    For whom the Peng Challenges

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    <big><big>Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!</big></big>

    Another year passes and in its wake I am reminded just how superior I am to the sorry lot of you (Ladies of the Pool excepted, of course). And what a year it's been: Grog-Porn™, decapitated poolboys, the release of CMBB. Who could ask for more? Well, maybe timely turns from our very own Justicar, Jo Xia, but that's about as likely as world peace, an end to hunger, and the Red Sox winning the pennant.

    No presents please, since I hardly expect anything like courtesy, refinement, taste, discernment, or cerebral activity from what is, in the final analysis, a huge assemblage of spiritual toejam. Of course if someone wanted to send me a poolboy to decapitate it would be much appreciated.

    Turns will come out when I can get to them, but my in-laws are in town all week. Talk about birthday presents.

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    For whom the Peng Challenges

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by MrSpkr:

    Hakko Ichiu is a useless, gamey bastard. He sucks and is losing. He just doesn't know it yet because the usless prig DIDN'T PUT HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IN HIS PROFILE, SO I CAN'T SEND HIM A STINKING TURN!

    You seem angry, frustrated even. Excellent. If you ever bothered to search in the Lost Luggage Depot that is your brain you would remember that I sent you an e-mail not two months ago. But no, that would be too easy for anyone not suffering from premature senile dementia -- as to what your other premature problems might be, I'll leave those to MrsSpkr to detail.

    If you still can't figure it out, I'll give you a hint: ethanr@mindspring.com. Ring any bells, Quasimodo?

    [Edited just to piss off Andreas, now that he's back.]

    [ October 07, 2002, 11:07 AM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

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    In the Peng Challenge Are Many Mansions, And I Go to Prepare A Place For You Now

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Lars:

    "For a few Gnomes More" doesn't even bear thinking about.

    If only it was "The Gnome with No Name".

    Sounds like a bad song by America:

    Well I been through the desert on a Gnome with no name...

    Originally uttered by Berli in a high-pitched, nasal whine:

    While you may have fantasies about the British Navy, the rest of us are not interested. Have at if you must

    What about all that "Get behind me" business? Just something from your carefree days of youthful experimentation?

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    Another CDV bash

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    That's the stuff, Hakko!(My God, what a low and vulgar fellow you are)

    And when the Mad Bald One shows up, we just point at Mr. Barr! It's like absolution!

    Glad you liked it. Here's another one for you:

    As I was a-walking one morning in May

    I met a pretty fair maid, her gown it was gay.

    I step-ped up to her, and back she did fall

    She want to be played with the long peggin' awl.

    I said, "Pretty fair maid will you travel with me,

    Unto foreign countries, strange things for to see?

    And I will protect you, what e'er may befall

    And follow your love wuth his long peggin' awl"

    Then home to her parents she then went straightway

    And unto her mother these words she did say,

    "I'll follow my true love what e'er may befall

    I'll follow my love with his long peggin' awl."

    "O daughter, O daughter, how can yopu say so?

    For young men are false as you very well know.

    They'll tell you fine things and the devil and all

    And leave you big-bellied with the long peggin' awl."

    "O mother, O mother, now do not say so.

    Before you werte sixteen, you very well know

    There wqas father and mother and baby and all

    You followed my dad for his long peggin' awl."

    Thank you. I'm here all week.

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    Another CDV bash

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Then this would be the place for a jolly sing-song!

    All together now, lads:

    When the good Lord made Father Adam, they say he laughed and sang,

    Sewed him up the belly with a little piece of wang.

    But when he'd got finished, I guess he measured wrong,

    For the piece he'd sewed him up with was very much too long.

    "It's but eight inches long," he said, "I guess I'll let it hang,"

    And he left on Adam's belly that little piece of wang.

    But when he made mother Eve, I bet it made him start,

    For the piece he sewed her up with was very much too short.

    "It leaves an awful crack," said he, "but I don't give a dang,

    She can fight it out with Adam for that little piece of wang";

    And ever since that ancient day when human life began,

    There's been a constant wage of strife between a woman and a man

    For the woman swears to have that piece that on his belly hang,

    To fill that awful crack that's left when the Lord ran out of wang.

    So let us not be selfish, boys, with what the women lack,

    But keep them busy on the wang to fill that crack,

    For the good Lord never intended that it should idle hang

    When he placed on Adam's belly that little piece of wang.

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    In the Peng Challenge Are Many Mansions, And I Go to Prepare A Place For You Now

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

    If an Australian were to come to Ohio, he would think that he had transcended this earthy plane and entered Valhalla. He would stand, mouth agape (like that's anything new, I know) as he gazed in rapture at the Pro Football (the REAL football) Hall of Fame in Canton. Stare in awe at the Goodyear Blimp Hanger in Akron, which is so large that it has it's own internal weather and could fit 22 football (the REAL football) fields on it's floor.

    Then it's off to Cleveland to visit the Rock & Roll (The REAL Rock...err, sorry) Hall of Fame, which still doesn't host the yearly awards because...well, it's Cleveland.

    Then down to Dayton to visit Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and Museum, with a side trip to Orville and Wilbur Wright's bicycle shop, or perhaps to Toledo to catch a game being hosted by the Toledo Mud Hens, Cpl. Klinger's hometown team. Maybe stop off in Steubanville (aka Stupidville), Dean Martin's hometown or Wappakonetta, Neil Armstrong's hometown, or even Milan, Thomas Edison's hometown, or Ashland...MY hometown...sniff.

    It's all just so beautiful, man.

    All this and you can't mention the only Ohioican worth a damn? Hint, he has his house in a place called Muirfield Village, and his name is Jack. He likes to play golf.

    I'm getting this really shuddery vision of Boo with Australian all over his upper lip...

    I think he went through a phase like that in college. Just a little experimentation. He'll grow out of it eventually.

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    AA Target Acquisition

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Madmatt:

    Update: The 400 meter range thing was a bug and will be fixed in the upcoming v1.01 patch. The new range is the more appropriate 2500 meters and should also help a great deal with the aquisition and engaging of enemy aircraft.

    Ah, ha! I knew it!

    *Victory Dance*

    Thanks for the info, oh Shiny Headed One.

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    Why do we Challenge Peng? Because we CAN CAN CAN!!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    As is the case with legalists, especially of the Red Chinese variety, Jo Xia shows no appreciation of nuance. They may have the rights of Kaniggets, but their rank is much higher -- as opposed to Jo, who is simply highly rank -- and therefore are more accurately referred to by the the informal title of Lady.

    Let us end this dispute in the only fit and proper way: let us ask the Ladies themselves. Are you Ladies or Dames?

    [ October 01, 2002, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

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    Why do we Challenge Peng? Because we CAN CAN CAN!!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Is there a reason for you to be a complete idiot or is it just one of those things?

    Do we refer to Knights of the CessPool as Sirs of the CessPool? NO, we do not. Yet when referring to the title of a Knight of the CessPool we do refer to them (at times, at other times we refer to them, and particularly YOU in less complimentary terms) as Sir So and So! Therefore it follows that a Lady of the CessPool would be (and in fact IS) referred to as Dame So and So ... although in HER case I'd not recommend it ... Dame So and So has a wicked left hook.

    It is because you are a complete vulgarian that you make mistakes like the op. cit. above. Your bloviations would only be true if the Ladies of the 'Pool were of the same rank as the Kaniggets (Olde, Senior, and Other). Those of taste and discernment, a grouping which obviously excludes the likes of you (and probably Croda among others), know that the Ladies of the 'Pool rank far, far higher. But then, you never did know how to treat a lady, or so Panzer Leader says.
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    Why do we Challenge Peng? Because we CAN CAN CAN!!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Dame Emma may well be incorrect, but only because her name is not Emma but YK2. Therefore, Dame YK2 is quite correct as it indicates the feminine title for Knighthood. You, OTOH, are an idiot ... not necessarily for your error but just in general.

    Then why are they referred to collectively in the Rules as The Ladies of the 'Pool and not The Dames of the 'Pool? Because they're Ladies and not Dames (not to mention Chicks, Tomatoes, Broads, Skirts or any of the other baser titles that no doubt rattle around your unfurnished brain-pan like so many ping-pong balls.

    So, once again, Jo, you are hoist by your own petard. Ha! And again I say, "Ha!"

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    Why do we Challenge Peng? Because we CAN CAN CAN!!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Battle has been joined. The forces of Limburger cheese and revolting dress sense as commanded by ME are awaiting the futile onslaught of the hordes of "female" shotputters and cabbage soup merchants as commanded by Andreas "The half-naked anarchist" Biermann.

    Condolences may be sent to Mr. Biermann's e-mail address. Donations in lieu of flowers to be sent to me. Lounge suit. 8:00 for 8:15.

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    Why do we Challenge Peng? Because we CAN CAN CAN!!!!

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Jo Xia, I am calling you out. A setup is winging its way through the ether at this very moment. As is fitting, given your position as shill, flack, flunky, water-carrier and Girl Friday for your Chinese Communist masters, you are the Red Hordes, while I am the guys with the leather fetish and bad (bad) game shows. I will not rest until I hold your beating heart in my blood-soaked hand and give it a little tickle before I throw it to the donkey.

    So there.

    And MrSpkr, when will there be room on your dance card? I feel like whupping some Tejas rump today. After that maybe we can play.

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    AA Target Acquisition

    in Combat Mission Archive #4 (2002)

    Posted

    Originally posted by Andreas:

    Well, the first test I ran with 5 M17s after this thread came up, they shot down a Ju87, and the second one then never appeared. Was effective enough for me ;)

    What sort of engagement ranges? In my experience, the M17s will fire, but very infrequently. It may be due to their short range. If that is the case, it would be nice to know so that one can employ them appropriately.

    There is still the unanswered question of what (if anything) blocks LOS for AA units in their assigned role.

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