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Speedy

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Posts posted by Speedy

    The Peng Challenge Thread and Minnesota's Ice Holes

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    I just recieved the following in an email and immediately thought of all the lawyers that frequent the pool.

    >

    >Questions that have been asked in a court of law.

    >|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

    >| 1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his |

    >| sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 4. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 5. "Did he kill you?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 6. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 7. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 8. "How many times have you committed suicide?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 9. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" |

    >| A: "Yes." |

    >| Q: "And what were you doing at that time?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 10. Q: "She had three children, right?" |

    >| A: "Yes." |

    >| Q: "How many were boys?" |

    >| A: "None." |

    >| Q: "Were there any girls?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 11. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" |

    >| A: "Yes." |

    >| Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 12. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't |

    >| you?" |

    >| A: "I went to Europe, Sir." |

    >| Q: "And you took your new wife?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 13. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" |

    >| A: "By death." |

    >| Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 14. Q: "Can you describe the individual?" |

    >| A: "He was about medium height and had a beard." |

    >| Q: "Was this a male, or a female?" |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 15. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition |

    >| notice which I sent to your attorney?" |

    >| A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work." |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 16. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?" |

    >| A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people." |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 17. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?" |

    >| A: "Oral." |

    >| |

    >| |

    >| 18. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" |

    >| A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.." |

    >| Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" |

    >| A: "No, he was sitting on the table |

    >| wondering why I was doing an autopsy." |

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    When Is The U.N Finally Going To Inspect The Peng Challenge?

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    Originally posted by athkatla:

    I have to report that revenge for our hopeless cricket teams dismal performance down under has been seen to be done. I have visciously whipped the butt of that depraved ossie, Noba. His drunken, vodka soaked, potato eating reds were sent packing with their tails between their legs after failing to make any headway against my grandiose umpah playing, schnapps drinking krauts.

    Any messages of praise and humble grovelling from said ossie, or any of his mates, will be gratefully recieved!

    Now all you have to do is avenge your soccer teams thrashing by Australia.
    0

    Another Day, Another Peng Challenge Thread............

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    Originally posted by AUssIEjeFF:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

    Hi Bro! .. Hope your not forgetting to take the trash out.

    Lemme see - *Checks "Official Poor Lonely Batchin' Aussie Husband's Household Chores And Husbandly Duties Checklist" ..*

    ...snip...

    Phew, this batchin' business is a piece of cake, Sis! *whimper, whine, groan...collapse..*

    Sir AJ </font>

    0

    Life's just like a box of Peng Challenges

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    Well I am back from my wee little trip to Avalon.

    I got to see lots of funnily named flying aeroplanes like Mustangs, Spitfires, Zeros, Mig 15, Meteor, Pups, Camels, Nieuports, Fokkers, Vampires, Canberras etc, etc.

    The following day I went to a jolly old buckshow pub crawl thing in which we had to leave pubs for a variety of reasons ranging from the diappearance of a CB radio handpiece, the smashing of several light fixtures due to the attempt at using said handpiece as a propeller and one of the lads getting a little too friendly with one of the publicans daughters.

    The population of one Victorian country town also had a memorable afternoon when a busload of drunken louts rolled up and then proceeded to streak across the local footy ground sans clothes and with tinnies in hand.

    The drive home on the following day was a bad day.

    And before I forget I should mention that I defeated Lars in our last game with a score of 99 to 1. After which it appears he left the country.

    Turns will be out in a little bit.

    P.S.- was anyone else surprised with the length of Elvis' earlier post? I reckon it was an imposter.

    {edit- Also that bloody dogs tail is way too long, someone chop it off or something}

    [ February 17, 2003, 05:24 AM: Message edited by: Speedy ]

    0

    The Laying of the King Before the Altar: The Peng Challenge Sinks Gracefully Backward

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    Originally posted by dalem:

    You mean

    Tra la la lalala-la

    Tra la la lalala-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    One banana

    Two banana

    Three banana

    Four

    Four bananas make a bunch

    and so do many more

    Over hill and highway the banana buggies go

    Coming up to bring you the Banana Split Show!

    Bringin' up a mess of fu-un!

    Lotsa fun for everyo-one!

    Bringin' up a mess of fu-un!

    Tra la la lalala-laaaa!

    Now that was the pinnacle of entertainment in the civilised world, it's all gone downhill since.
    0

    Appear Neither Void Nor Empty In the Sight or Presence of the Peng Challenge

    in Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin

    Posted

    Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

    I hereby declare you Earl, not baron or duke or even prince. As Earl, your posts are to be prophetic, pathetic and peripatetic, primarily predisposed toward punishing the producers of pap who haunt this board even now. We must abolish this SSN term, as it reminds me of nukular submarines every time I read it, so invent something menacing and nasty but easily spelled and remembered so that we can refer to these morons properly. I prefer John. If we call them Johns, it makes them sound like a bunch of paunchy, pasty prancers in search of prostitution. That's merely a suggestion from your king, invested as he is with the wisdom of divinity, whose grace doth flow like the Nile at sunset.

    Oh most terrifying Majesty, your omnipotent words are far to powerful to be borne by such insignificant wretches as those formerly known as SSN's.

    Therefore after much thought I have decided that from this day forth SSNs shall be known as Fluffy.

    Earl Speedy

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