PeterNZer
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Posts posted by PeterNZer
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In CM battles, esp. QB we see quite unhistoric forces. For a proper effect, get your enemy to play with 75mm or so. Reality is that German tanks, when faced with a platoon of 76ers or 17lb armed Fireflies -were- in trouble. History shows that this wasn't often the case.
PeterNZ
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Folks, there's BOUND to be players running big campaigns too, go have a look at this tool
http://cmhq.tzo.com/cmmc/Vault/cocat/cocat.htm
PeterNZ
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Meeks, but this is genuinely ammusing
And besides, it -is- a good template!
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Yeah, the CPX is a little campaign, but one I'm ont in ARRRGGG
Well, Treeburst, remember it doesn't actually move units and stuff. You just plop yours down on the map then use it to generate text files to send to the GM.
Maybe in a year or so it will incorporate their written rules into the COCAT engine
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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am i the only person who noticed this thing?
http://cmhq.tzo.com/cmmc/Vault/cocat/cocat.htm
It's a tool for the CPX, (the test for the CMMC), it allows you to set up maps and counters and orders and all sorts of fantastic things!
Go download it (if you have a PC) and fiddle with it, great stuff!
So when is someone going to run a little campaign with it? Sign me up!
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Greetings everyone.
I am designing a template for PBEM challenges between the cesspool inclined, and thought you lot might like a look.
This template will not suit everyone, however, if you like it give it a go.
DESIGN PHILOSOPHY:
Some prefer Kant and so on, others the classical ones. But in general, philosophy is pants, so just forget about it.
On with the template.
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PBEM GAME
Greetings: ingrate / fool / sheep shagger
Your choice of side / you are the most disadvantaged side
Let me know if you agree with the situation and setup, either way this is the scenario we're playing. If you don't like it you can: die / sniff my rotten behind / cry like the girl you are. Alternatively please e-mail so I can: add you to spam lists / subscribe you to 'farm yard friends' / stalk you.
Regards / Your mothers best lay,
(Name)
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SITUATION
(background to the clash) for example:
Your vomit-inducing presence has been felt on the board too long. I am here to teach you the meaning of the words 'you suck' and 'I rock'.
or
Your challenge to me causes mirth to swell from my belly like the belch after consuming a jar of pickled onions. You are no match for me you: crack loving panty wetter / anally-fixated carrot abuser / lint collecting dandruff snorter.
SETUP OPTIONS (example below)
You've been: set up badly / totally sandbagged / screwed beyond belief
Force Type:
Stuff with guns / stuff without guns / conscripts with toothpicks
Force Composition:
dark side / light side
Force Purchase:
gimped by a fellow pooler / AI / up to you to screw up on your own
Battle Type:
insane / laughable / crodaberg/
Force Size:
5000 / 5000 +10% / 5000 +20%
Weather:
fog / snow / night/ fog and snow and night / random
TERRAIN
crodaberg / random / the alps
SPECIAL RULES
no squealing on the boards/ winner controls sig file of looser for a month / promoted to squire if win / enforced servitude if loss
E-MAIL PROCEDURES
send a turn a day or: face ridicule on board / be accused of having 'other interests'
E-mail file naming convention:
now_you_die XX.txt / you_are_going_to_loose XX.txt
PHILOSOPHY
1. My gaming philosophy is that I play to CRUSH YOU BENEATH MY HOBNAILED BOOT, not PLAY to crush you beneath my hobnailed boot. I play CM because it is fun, and I get to meet a lot of people with similar interests, then insult them, laugh at their ugly appearances, insult their homes, wives, jobs and sorry excuses for board postings. I like to win but I'm really more interested in grinding people into the dirt. If winning is ALL you care about then let's stop here because you're going to loose badly, and noone likes a crybaby.
2. I will accept any reasonable ceasefire if you plead for one by e-mail. If you're unlucky, I'll just demand we keep playing till every one of your men are so much red jam beneath my tank tracks.
3. If I haven't received a reply within 24 hours of e-mailing a PBEM file, I will not send it again. Instead, I will harass you on the Peng thread and demand you return to some semblence of manhood and send a file.
4. If I can't finish a game I won't be surrendering. Instead I'll tell eveyone I'm going to the south Pole and hope you've forgotten when I get back.
5. After the warm glow victory (or the cold, sludgy depths of defeat) we'll have debrief session of how the battle went. I find laughing at the looser in the debrief is as fun as the game - especially when you get to see the end game map and how badly you died.
6. Feel free to e-mail me your questions and comments before, during or after the game. I will most likely just ignore them, and if they're particularly stupid (eg. 'My wife beat me at CM' then I will post it to the thread.
7. Most of all, have fun dying.
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(with apologies to Beer_n_Pretzels)
PeterNZ
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"Don't F**K with Johnny Cash!" - Jon
"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 01-20-2001).]
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GUYS GO HERE!
http://cmhq.tzo.com/cmmc/Vault/cocat/cocat.htm
It seems that amazing things have been happening during the CMMC and there's this FANTASTIC TOOL!
this is PERFECT for a campaign (although it's PC only).
If you plan to use it, I WANT IN ON THE CAMPAIGN!
sorry, this thing really is an amazing tool! Who is this guy who made it? Pal Woje?
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Hi Mum!
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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If beating you is Gamey, Croda, then most of the human race is gamey since they clearly beat you in intelligence, good looks and sexual experience. My Jumbo was just getting revenge for the m36 you so cruely put out of action.
Meanwhile, the rest of Croda's forces seem to be undertaking some freakish peversion of Fionn's Attack is the best defense strategy. In Croda's version this equates too sending a company at a fortified position till they're all dead then moaning at me about it while the rest of my forces romp up his flank unmolested. Intriguing strategy. I like it.
As for the rest of you..
Mark IV Is feeling the thickness and the length penetrating his little village. the 14" shells have softened him up nicely and now it's just a matter of grinding him down, slowly and surely and then rolling him back to secure the flags.
Hiram
Take a guess lads and ladettes.
Nijis
It's going slowly and messily. Yuck. Soon i shall die since he is an evil gamey bastard
Others
Send me files you bastards!
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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It's appropriate that my comments come after Croda's, since he's mY MONKEY By0tcH !!
SPR. Well.
I was stunned for the first 30-40 minutes. The whole cinema audience kinda 'stopped'. It really got to me i guess.
Why?
Because it was so.. arbitrary. I think everyone thought, 'what could you do?'. In the end, it didn't matter if you were a hero or a coward, if you were unlucky, MGs cut you down and you died. If you were lucky, you lived. No logic or reason at all.
But after the landing. *sigh*.. it was disapointing. So many cliches. The religous sniper, the quiet, stoic leader, everyone dying to orders, the silly english new guy, the tank dying to the mustang at the end, all that silly stuff.
To me, it just lost that horror the rest of the film had, o well!
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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LORAK
You missed a mighty crushing of Elvis by ME. Thanks very much, good lad, now sod off and update that page.
Meanwhile.
Mark IV - send me a 1.1 file
Geier - send me a 1.1 file
Meeks - send me a 1.1 file
There, o, and Chupie needs to send one too, as does that guy who i was playing in a horrid night game with halftracks and his unstoppable bazooka of doom. You know who you are. I don't remember.
the moral of the story kids
Send me a 1.1 file!
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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hold down shift when you dbl click the CM icon i believe, or hit shift and space when you have the intro load, one of the two, that stops the movie loading in future. Repeat process to turn it on
PeterNZ
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actually, I think Rob's spelling is getting better, good to see you're putting the effort in man :>
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Ahh, yes, I forgot to bring that point up TSS. It could very well be 105s or whatever. After all, throughout his account all they talk about is 88's and Tigers and SS.. seems that's all there was in Normandy
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Germyboy, i'm reading a personal account now which mentions the airbust of an 88'. The author (from 'Guns of Normandy') seems to have been frequently warned and worried about 88s using an airburst over him/his vehicles. Seems to have been a common enough tactic and I would guess it would be done in the manner you mention, definately not skipping, and requiring a bit of fore-planning I imagine.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Don't have much time to waste on you pathetic ameoba excretia so this will be brief, like Croda's memory and Germanboy's leiderhossen. *shudder*
Elvis
As stated he lost. He lost REALLL GUUUOOD as they say down in the southern USA. All of it died in a might 88:12 victory to me. All sorts of pretty booms and crashes. I think one panther racked up about 5 vehicle kills, a Tiger and pzIV enjoyed a shooting gallery of Shermans, Kangaroo's and assorted other dead things. Boy o Boy, that was fun.
Chrisl
Yeah, he lost bad. Maybe it was the PC's fault? Perhaps it was the weather? Perhaps Chris just stunk? I know what I think. And I agree, a rematch is in order!
As for the rest?
Well against someone who i think is nijis, (it's hard to tell when the mail comes from 'Sanna and Steve N', does your wife hold your hand when you play?) things are going bad. I think the close proximity to Germantrouser and Chupagit pre-christmas warped my mind, because upon checking my turns in the new year with the benefit of being more than 100 miles away from either of them over the break, I discover that my unit choices are insane and my tactics appalling. I scream as my panthers die. I expect he will enjoy the pleasures of a surrender soon.
Marlow
I feel like I'm at a carnival. Some freak with one eyebrow and too much chest hair squinting at me saying 'go on laddie take your best shot!' while I line up to win a giant cuddly teddy-bear by shooting a target with an airgun, and after 6 shots I find the sodding site is sodding misslined, so I grab the gun and smash the butt into his face repeatedly screaming 'you bastard you cheated me, damn carnies die the lot of you!'
OK, enough about my past, in essence that's what's happening in our game. My tanks couldn't hit Rossane Arnold's ass from 5 paces whereas his can. I still think I'll win because i am superior in all regards. And I don't have a uni-brow.
Meeks
Send me a turn, git. If you were responsible and read all the posts you'd know i lost all my files. I want to finish you off, 1.1 style.
Geier
About as regular as an incontinent moose, which is what I think he has been bothering himself with since I HAVE RECEIVED NO FILE!
Chudachups
Another bloody yank. Seems he can't send the file since we're having version issues, i dunno. Well how about sending it to some other person and asking them to save it up to the latest version?
Herriam Loosing
About to surrender to me i believe. Still, no surprise there. Surprised he hasn't macroed the button yet. VoT2 is a mess of burning Yanky tanks and my men are having a bew-up while the rest of his forces race to be the first to leave the battlefield.
Anyone else of importance?
Well of course not.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Right.
So bassically, you knew the scenario. Glad you confirmed that.
And whether i line my dead crews up (well duh, there was a LINE of buildings at the back of the map), or whether i make them do the hokey-cokey is really irrelevant.
As for a sore loser, since when did a draw mean a losss? Points-wise I lead and while i was cautious (viz-a-viz, you knew the scenario) and let the turns slip away a bit too quick I still did just fine.
As for who made me high-minded enforcer? Well I did, sometimes it is good to point out a plonker in action lest other people be tempted to emulate.
The more you talk the more foolish you look. Bringing up the whole optics thing again? The discussion on that topic has matured past anything you might care to throw at BTS. They are well aware of the optics industry, and the discussion of real facts and figures followed up by a conclusion of some sort has been and gone.
Lewis, just a reminder, double blind means neither side had played the scenario before, from either side, for any length of time. Don't want you to get confused in future games with people.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Ahh yes, Dora it is
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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For the record, Lewis, you will recall that the game in question was one that was supposed to be a double-blind, but, as it turned out, YOU HAD ALREADY PLAYED THE ALLIES in the scenario.
I thought I did quite well to pull of a draw against someone who already had a fair idea of what i had and was playing on the defence.
As for me being a slow attacker, I kinda expected you to put up a defence in the middle area, not cower at the back of the map. Hence, I didn't see fit to rush across.
The reason i had you up about your post was that you were acting inapropriately high-minded. If you see fit to talk about an already discussed topic by throwing more evidence/argument in, do so, but don't act like a spoilt brat cos BTS didn't listen the first time.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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The Gun was the big one that ran on two rail tracks... Maus? I forget the name.
Guderian was esperated at a lot of Hitler's ideas it seems
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Don't make yourself look (more) silly Lewis, BTS are hardly 'revisionist' in the Axis favour (especially, in regards to this issues) since NEITHER side has bouncing rounds!
I'm sorry noone asked you personally for your valuable opinion as to the real frequency off the skipping of HE rounds. I'm sure you have a good source telling us all how often the average gunner could do this, the conditions it happened, frequency of it breaking the shell or whatever.
Please, enlighten us.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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*chortle* mmm peng thread born again tee hee, like a born again christian but without the white socks and dockers. I guess gumboots really since it's a bit mucky in here. Tee hee.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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Hi there, doing some work and I have a couple of questions for all you germans out there! Plleeaaase can you reply? Ta.
1) In your opinion, is GC Pro the biggest hard-core online gaming site in Germany? If yes, why? If not, which is the best/biggest and why?
2) what are the other good/big online gaming sites in Germany for hard-core online gaming and casual gaming (classic games like chess, quizzes and others).
3) I know that Deutsche Telekom launched an online gaming site, CMGA, which was supposed to compete with GC Pro but their URL now directs me to MightyGames. Is this their new name or has DT sold it to another company? What are they worth?
If anyoe can answer these questions, I'll make sure Germanboy doesn't go back home for a while, aren't you lot luck!
Please email ptyson@datamonitor.com
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
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For the non-too-bright, (ie. Dalem) I haven't got a new PC but a formatted one, this results in me having NO pbem files to return. If I haven't sent one then you need to send me your last file and make sure it's b1.24 while you're at it
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon
A Thousand Points of Peng, A Kindler, More Gentler Cess
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
LORAK I wish to register a complaint. The people on this thread are, self-evidently, as Germgit would put it MORONS!
I haven't received a file from anyone in a very long time! That is, baring Croda, sanna and steve something and Hiram, but really, there's only so much beating of dead animals I can handle before I am bored absolutely senseless.
The list of the evil are:
Mark IV Geier Marlow Nijis Chrisl Meeks to name a few.
There's a chance in their incompetence they emailed the wrong address, so to remind you all, send to dynamo@pobox.com NO OTHER
this has been a public service announcement, brough to you by the letter DIE SCUM and the number YOU ALL BLOW.
PeterNZ
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"I can be quite pleasant, you know" - Andreas
"WHERE'S THE MOAT?!" - Jon