Carl G. E. von Mannerheim Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 Its doesnt take balls to praise the greatest man of the 29th century Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 [Above should be a Flash Gordon comic strip of the usual suspects shackled together in an arena while the evil Ming looks on and gloats.] "Stuck in the 29th Century, at Ming's mercy and doomed unless Mannerheim shows up pronto!" [ November 20, 2002, 05:34 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 In case there is some confusion about it: The great General Billotte, by some ugly felons misjudged as "butcher of Belgium", has addressed me, Amona, as "She". That suits "Amona", which indeed IS a female character, just fine. The Author of Amonas lines, nonetheless, is, I must admit, just another male wargamer. "Amona" is a character out of some stories of a more kinky nature made by this sick mind, before he turned to writing for a noble and totally serious storyline called "Free French AAR". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 "On my planet, uh, my former planet -- there are nine sexes and 14 genders, so I don't find this confusing at all. Now that I too am French, I notice that -- just as in my old home -- the people along the Seine have many genders and sexes. Variety is good. This planet would be perfect if it had more methane . . .. "What I do find confusing is Eva Braun preparing Kosher food for Adolf Hitler! Sometimes I wonder if the information in this Forum is historically reliable." *** *** *** "Well Pilgrim, you can say what you will about variety in the sexes and people moving here from other planets and what have you, but to my way of seeing it your a bunch of dirty preverts or lousy commies or stinking nazis or even worse things, like whisky peddlars, and if I ever catch any of you near Fort Apache I'm liable to forget I'm an officer in the United States Cavalry, and a Gentleman, and I might be inclined to -- well, just don't ever let me catch any of you near Fort Apache, that's all." [ November 21, 2002, 04:12 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 General Tojos eyes himself closely in the mirror. He wears German "Jaegerzeug" (hunters clothing) of green color, a quite ridiculous hat inclusive. Tojo turns to the three Geishas in the back of the room: "A gift from my German friend, Hermann Goering-san. They wear it over there for hunting animals in the forests. It clothes me quite well, doesnt it?" A collective whimper erupts from the Geishas. An observer might have difficulties telling wether its of awe in face of the Great little general or sign of a desperate fight to hold back laughter. -"Very good, Tojo-san." - "You would look good in everything, Tojo-san." - "It lets your manhood to be seen even stronger than before, Tojo-san." -"Well, hunters clothing. That reminds me of my days in China 37, back over there hunting Chinese in the rice fields. Oh, the pleasures of a field command. To be sure, the Chinese women are not ladies such as you. Absolutely no comparison. They used to spit on the floor during lunch, and afterwards... but that is something not to be said in front of beautiful innocent flowers like you three here." The Geishas giggle. The giggle is abruptly replaced by whimpers again, as the great Tojo continues: "I have to make a gift to Goering-san in return. I was thinking of sending one of you three to him, that he may learn which pleasures a Japanese Geisha can spend..." Sweet breeze under a rainbow (one might notice that the Japanese used to name their Geishas as they named their destroyers in the fleet, or the other way round), remembers all three of them watching the weekly news in the cinema yesterday. Seeing this big German there, she had remarked to the others: "This man lets one of our Sumo-wrestlers look like a Chineses prisoner of war." The reply of the other girls had been: "Oh, I didnt know we take any Chinese prisoner alive..." They had a good cruel laugh about that then, but know they are not so amused... "But maybe I will send him a good Katana instead. Its said Goering-san loves good weapons." Sweet breeze whatever sighs in relief. You never know what Tojo-san has in mind. A dangerous man, and one with political ambition too, as it is whispered in the house. Well, all men are fools. Perhaps he wants to be so great a general and statesman because his little man is so... well ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 General Tojo, his boys and girls, and Amona too have a message for this candidate for cancer, this Wayne guy: We should stay away from Fort Apache or your PT-boat around Bataan or wherever the hell you hang around smoking yourself to death? Its you who should better stay out of the firing range of the COMBINED FLEET of Nippons empire. But even that will not help you in the long run, as, some sunny sunday, its we who will come for you. And when we are finished with you, short of beheading you with the sword that is, even you will no longer know your gender. By the way, didnt anyone, at least your wife, ever tell you how ridiculous these big white hats look on your head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 "I sent him some of our fine German hunting clothes and of all things he sends me one of those odd swords they used to use --" "I believe they still use them, Hermann." "OH! What strange little people the Japanese are after all -- traipsing around with swords in their hands and bullets flying about!" "But tell me, Hermann, was anything said about their intentions regarding Russia?" "Please, Adolf, not all at once -- give me a chance to know the man first." *** *** *** "This is the life, General Grant, just you and me and none of them preverts or little Japanese fellas who can't wear cowboy hats. -- Coulda sworn this here saddle woudda fit you when I bought it yesterday." "Duke, you've been acting kind of strange lately." "Well, Kitty, it's just these little Japanese fellas keep running up to me and saying they don't like my big white hat and they're gonna slice my head off and --" "But you're the Duke, everyone loves you!" "That's what I told 'em, but they wouldn't listen. -- Tell me the truth, do I really look ridiculous wearing a big white cowboy hat?" "Aw Duke, ya big lug -- come on, let me light you a cigarette and pour you a drink." "Little Japanese guys -- sure would like to know what I said that got them so rilled up." "Probably nothing at all." "One of them said he'd go to Fort Apache anytime he wanted and I could just try and stop him." "What's that mean?" "Beats me -- Fort Apache, why they don't even have plumbing in that stinking place." [ November 21, 2002, 06:15 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 "What do you think of this actor,John Waini-something, in the movie you saw yesterday?" -"A brute. So unsophisticated, without manners, big and hairy. Disgusting." -"You have it right my little apple blossom. Exactly my own thoughts." -"Will you behead him like these filthy Chinese?" -"In the name of the gods, no. He is not worthy such honor. He is just an actor, and an overrated one at that. A clumsy circus clown pretending to be a warrior. - The day we march into this Hollywood, he will be sent cleaning toilets or something equally apropriate.." "Shall apple blossom tend to Tojo-sans needs now?" "You may continue..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 20, 2002 Share Posted November 20, 2002 Originally posted by Amona: "He is just an actor, and an overrated one at that. A clumsy circus clown pretending. . .. " "But the Duke's my buddy --" "In Show Business there are no buddies kid." "Still, I don't want to --" "Look kid, the Duke's just an actor and an overated one at that -- a clumsy circus clown pretending to be an actor, okay?" "Yeah, I guess if you say so, hell, you're my agent." "That's right kid, and people will be watching Robert Ryan movies long after they've completely forgotten about John Wayne." [ November 20, 2002, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Out of character: You made your point. By the way, who the hell is Robert Ryan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 In the forties and fifties he was a macho sort of actor and during the war he, and a third actor named Sterling Heyden, were in a lot of the same war movies with John Wayne. --- * --- * --- And Getting back to the Epic of the FreeFrench. --- * --- * --- "This is London, Edward R. Murrow reporting. "Even amid the heartwrending ruins of this world renowned metropolis, a few glimmers of hope and optimism have begun to appear. Nazi air strikes have diminished in intensity and, of late, have been limited to regular, though less devastating, night raids. "For the first time in months the battleworn citizens of this city have been allowed some degree of rest. "And, even amid the countinuing destruction, the herculean task of clearing London's ruins and rebuilding has already begun. "R.A.F. Bomber Command, though not as powerful as the Luftwaffe, has returned Goerring's message of death and destruction in kind to a formerly unscathed Germany. "Events unfolding as I speak -- representatives of the Japanese Empire have signed a pact with Berlin and Rome. Specific details have not, as yet, been announced and the role of the Soviet Union in all this is not yet known. [ November 21, 2002, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 "This is London, Edward R. Murrow reporting. "The Luftwaffe has conducted it's largest night raid to date upon this city. Though lacking the intensity of last month's terrible daylight attacks, it serves as a grim reminder that the enemy is still posted across this narrow channel, ready to wreak further havoc at any moment. Despite the latest onslaught, Londoners emerged from their shelters at first light, amid the still smouldering ruins of their city, and carried on, as they have carried on for so many war ravaged days before. "Also carrying on are the brave mariners on the cold North Atlantic convoy routes that feed this island nation in it's hour of greatest peril. "And news arriving even at this moment -- in pre-dawn attacks powerful elements of the Luftwaffe -- whose ominous slackening of late from our own skies has already been noted -- struck Belgrade and other cities and military positions in Yugoslavia, paving the way for the Reich's assault on it's former friend and neighbor in the Balkans. "First it was Warsaw, then Paris and now Belgrade, all learning in turn the nazi lesson of death and destruction from the sky that, something Londoners have become all too familiar with. "Early reports of the conflict are confused and contradictory, but it is believed the worst has befallen Great Britain's newest ally. "Aided by it's Hungarian and Bulgarian allies an Axis victory in the Balkans already appears a certainty. There is no word at this time concerning an Allied expedition to the Adriatic, but it seems highly unlikely. On the battle front, exploiting initial breakthroughs, panzer spearheads -- operating in the usual Blitzkrieg manner despite inhospitable terraign -- are said to be roaming freely behind Yugoslav lines, capturing munitions, cutting off retreat and disrupting communications. "From Moscow comes unconfirmed reports that Secretary Stalin has lodged at least one protest with the Reich's foreign minister in that city. "And tonight, even as a dark cloud continues to hover across the civilized world, the eyes of all freedom loving people turn east and even to the Far East, to await the uncertain events that have yet to deveolop." [ November 21, 2002, 11:30 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amona Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 I am a little bit out of touch with the storyline. Where are we going? What time is it? Already 41? What about the narration from the beginning? Has Yugoslavia already fallen? Did I miss a chapter? Questions and more questions. PLEASE, CAN SOMEONE, IT COULD BE ANYONE, JUST FILL ME IN. PLEEEEAAASEEE! The last question: Is there any storyline left or are we just playing out, having abandoned the storyline with General Bilotte and all completely. Help!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 Amona -- not to worry -- if it's out of synch I'll just go back and replace it with something else. I wanted to jumpstart things a little. General Billote will fill us all in very soon, I have no doubts on that. Besides, it's as Dickens said -- one story is just as good as another. I think it was Dickens, maybe it was Lucky Luciano, I'm not sure, but whoever it was he had a point. *** *** *** And now, on with the show! *** *** *** A broadcast from the war battered British Capital. " . . .In other news tonight -- even as Wehrmacht engineers rebuid mountain roads and bridges in ravaged Yugoslavia -- "-- that Balkan state's armies have all but crumbled under the unrelenting Axis onslaught. "And throughout the day word has come to us of the complete and unconditional surrender of Yugoslavia's isolated and defeated armies. "As another broadcast draws to a close it is with a heavy heart that this commentator announces the absorption of Yugoslavia -- a land of freedom loving people like ourselves -- into the medeival blackness of the nazi Reich. "Signing off, from London, this is Edward R. Murrow. Good night, and good luck." [ November 21, 2002, 11:32 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Billote Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 ( out of character for the moment) - We will continue the story on The Free French site, currently in construction, which we will link to Battlefront ( if they like the site and are o.k with that). We can add the URL address to our qoute area's at the bottom of our characters.... I have been informed that the new site will be in beta till January, so until then we will develop characters and ideas ( sequence doesn't matter), it will just prepare us and our characters for when we pick up the story. When we do start the story up again, we will begin with Chapter Five and we will continue. Any ideas here, that fit into the story better in earlier chapters, will be moved to their more appropriate places in the story....Jersey John will be head moderator and editor for this story. NOONE'S IDEAS WILL BE EDITED OR PLACED INTO THE STORY WITHOUT CONSULTATION AND AGREEMENT WITH THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR. Who will then be added to our list of conributing writers. Hope that helps! [ November 21, 2002, 03:54 AM: Message edited by: General Billote ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted November 21, 2002 Share Posted November 21, 2002 ["Mr Ed" was an early '60s American TV show about a talking horse.] "Okay -- Always great to hear from that French General Billote fella. Meanwhile, back on the farm, Ed says his hooves make it hard to use a keyboard. We're getting one of those voice recognition programs, then he'll be able to tell us about his experiences in the war. We figure it ought to arrive by, oh -- January." Meanwhile, RicKhan, Cortes, Amona -- and the three main conspirators can add their ideas at will. Anything superflous will be edited out later, so as that old calypso said, 'Don't worry, Be Happy . . ..' --- --- Amona -- I've revised nearly everything since yesterday. If you'll backtrack to the Sterling Hayden poster for "The Killing" and begin with the Edward R. Murrow entry, you'll find all the changes, including the invasion of Russia becoming the overrunning of Yugoslavia. -- * -- What I've used for the John Wayne/Robert Ryan/Sterling Hayden areas will be used later for story events. This spot, for example, will later be deleted and the space used to describe something relevant to the story. Feel free to edit your own postings in the same way where you feel things should be changed; the forum is in constant revision. It will all make sense later. The important thing is to post scenes and explore ideas, and you're doing an outstanding job with the Japanese. If you decide you also want to take a whack at the Chinese, either as communist or nationalist, feel free. If you haven't already seen it, you ought to watch this early fifties fiasco -- "The Conqueror" -- in which John Wayne attempts to play Ghengis Khan -- after seeing it the insulted Japanese pity the Duke and weep at the site of him. It was filmed in a southwestern wasteland that had formerly been used as a nuclear test area (which was the real reason he and so many other cast members later developed cancer, though he and director Dick Powell were also heavy smokers). The landscape is absolutely barren, not a tree in sight, yet in one scene, with this bleak moonscape for a backdrop, the Duke confidently says, "Hang them!" Boy were those guys safe! --- * --- The way we're doing this may seem like a sloppy approach, but consider how the first thirty or forty pages of Moby Dick are built around a sailor who appears to be the main character, then Melville changes his mind and has the guy fall overboard, clearing the way for a new main character. He didn't even bother to edit him out of the story! [ November 21, 2002, 04:29 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Billote Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 "Hey....anybody round here seen my cousin Frank Tarino?" "Crashed in Roswell a few months ago?"" "Yea....that's right...he looks a bit like me but he's funnier looking..." "Just let him know that Edward Tarino is looking for him....And if he's been talking to that Heydrich guy again I'm gonna bust his knee caps" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 "Yeah, right, so who's looking for Frank Tarino?" (if vanished, the image is of gangster pointing a revolver [from the Godfather]). [ December 20, 2002, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Billote Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 " Frankie!!! You fell for that old trick! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 "Guess there's no point trying to fool you, is there Fast Eddie?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Billote Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 " There you are Frankie"..." I see your shape shifter is working properly"" I am ready to receive you report on the Earthlings progress or should I say digression..." [ December 20, 2002, 03:06 AM: Message edited by: General Billote ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 "It's depressing cousin, really depressing. First off, you may have noticed you can't get a good breath of methane anywhere in this lousy atmosphere. Second, they fight but hardly anyone dies, maybe a few hundred thousand here and a few hundred thousand there, but all in all, they're a real dissapointment. I had a better time on Jacca bussa six, at least those primitives ate each other! These creatures, they don't even dissolve. Like I said, Eddie, it's depressing. Very depressing. Anyway, how've you been, cousinOmine?" [ December 20, 2002, 03:17 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Billote Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 "Well, You'll be happy to know that I have given up some of my more frivolous hobbies like dressing in drag." "They never let me rest long as you know." "We were all concerned when we read your last report...I mean war is one thing but killing your own species... and to do it not very well. That is truly barbaric...What's this universe coming to!" "We must either teach them to kill each other more efficiently so we can be rid of them or civilize them somehow...Which ever you think is easier". "I don't want to waste too much time on this project...I have a very hot little number waiting for me back on Rigo X37....If you know what I mean!!" [ December 20, 2002, 03:35 AM: Message edited by: General Billote ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl G. E. von Mannerheim Posted December 20, 2002 Share Posted December 20, 2002 Ok, wahts the situation wioth Britain and Russia? CvM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted December 21, 2002 Share Posted December 21, 2002 And fast Eddie goes off again without even a good-bye. Think I'll try out that double entity he was using. . .. Yes cousin, I like this split identity even better though no doubt I'll go back to my true form later. Our friend wants to know about Britain and Russia -- well I'll tell you, at the moment Russia isn't in and Britain's just helping the Free French. My cousin with the fetish problem hasn't chosen to tell me yet if the Brits are running the Itai's out of Lybia, why should he, I'm just his partner, that's all! So I'm groping along blind, just like you! What I have to do next is visit all the heads of state and see if I can get them interested in building decent weapons that will decimate this pathetic breed of creatures by the tens of millions. What's going on with Britain and Russia --?" That's not the question, the question is how do we go about removing these annoying oxygen breathing parasites, without ruining this quainte little planet's ambiance! Back in the old bod again. [ December 20, 2002, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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