disorder Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 chorizo is another shoddy food... main ingredient is pork salivary glands. second ingredient is pork fat (look it up!).ingredients go downhill from there! as regarding your leg swelling to 3 times it's normal size mr jerseyjohn, it got me thinking of something i had read about jim brady. he of course was the hero who stopped a bullet intended for our 2nd greatest president mr. ronald reagan. they said his head was swelled to a full twice it's normal size because of the bullet wound, and the pressure inside his cranium. his eyes were no longer described as "bulging" but had advanced to being described as "flattened". of course the first thing the doctors probably did was drill several holes in his skull. thats why i asked you in the e-mail if there was any permanent damage to your leg, as some things are just not meant to swell that big! speaking of big things swelling up, (in reply to mr. baxters comments)-- I think we are going to need another peace-keeping force. isnt that just like a britisher! first sign of trouble and ask an american to bail you out! [ August 06, 2003, 10:49 PM: Message edited by: disorder ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 Sporting a healthy New Jersey tan, reinforced by the air pollution induced magnifying haze of three states, JerseyJohn arives, complete with peace symbol, to prevent further disor -- uh, disruption. [ August 07, 2003, 12:16 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 quick stash the propoganda and the molotovs! we have a new PEACEKEEPER! this is the best pic you have ever posted, JJ! keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 Thank You Mr d, I was pleasantly surprised when it appeared during the search. -- Upon arrival he asks three basic questions, "What time is breakfast? What time is lunch? And, by the way, what time is dinner?" Well prepared with three squares of cheesburgers, pizza burgers, and the basic burger-burger, he assumes his role of peace keeper. -- The description of the unfortunate Jim Brady's head sounds about the way my own felt while that thing was expanding. It did lead to permanent damage but to a different and nearby organ -- anyway, that's what I blame it on. I've seen Brady interviewed a few times and he's got a great sense of humor about it. -- When asked how long he expected to remain in his peacekeeping role, JJ replied, "A long, very long time. These two guys are hostile elements, I mean, there's no way for them to agree on whose food is more disgusting and less healthful. It's like Lexington and Concord all over again -- speaking of which, is that a jar of concord jelly over there and a can of Skippy peanut butter and -- hmmmm fresh coffee and a loaf of bread. He, I'm afraid it's time for a Special Peace Keeper's Break. Nice talking to all of you -- what time did you say dinner was?" -- Will The Peace Last? Will there be enough food for JJ to remain on post? Only time will tell. [ August 07, 2003, 12:21 AM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CC Baxter Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 isnt that just like a britisher! first sign of trouble and ask an american to bail you out! Yeah right. Just like in Iraq...oh wait a minute, isn't it the other way around? chorizo is another shoddy food... Chorizo is really tasty, however it's a Spanish food and the UK has got nothing to do with it! As ever Jersey you are a class act. Fulfilling your peace-keeping duties with elan and panache (hey Disorder, how about picking on the French? Now they really have got alot to answer for). I'm blinded by your "bling bling", that medalllion is both decorative and highly symbolic! I am amazed this thread hasn't been locked up, but I'm enjoying it, let's keep it going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 CC Thank you, appreciated and likewise, glad you like the medallion. Very often it's hard to tell exactly what triggers a padlock. In this instance I think we're safe unless we do something truly outrageous, and probably we will before much longer. In my capacity as peace keeper I will extend your offer of French baiting to our friend and perhaps he will see it as a viable altenative to all this verbal violence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 disorder In my capacity as Peace Keeper it is my duty to offer a solution to this mess presented by our friend CCBaxter. Why not pick on the French? I think this is an idea worth exploring. -- The French eat many disgusting objects such as smails. Politically they tend to be treacherous and deceitful, traits we've always admired on this side of the Atlantic but have never managed to perfect to the high degree of our Mentors. Militarily, their greatest leaders were a deranged teenage girl who they discarded when they through manipulating her and later called a Saint in an unsuccessful effort to assuage their own inherent wickedness. She was followed by an Italian. The more you understand the French the more you understand why Frenchmen are reluctant to lead them in battle. The Italian, though not quite successful, wound up in a great tomb but without his penis, which is pickled in a jar somewhere. In France that's considered a high honor. Image of some predatory bird taking a flying dump on an unfortunate Parisian. Musically the French favor lines of scantilly clad women heaving their breasts and kicking their legs to insane passages by Jaques Offenbach. They've produced composers like Cesar Franck and Hector Berlioz, whose music did much to deter other countries from wanting to conquer the place during the ninteenth century. The Germans, having endured Wagner, thought they were immune to headaches, but a few years of Berlioz drove them out as well. Their greatest popular singer was Edith Pilaf, the Little Sparrow, who sang endlessly about how much she hated living in France and how badly she wanted to move somewhere else. Ultimately she was rescued by death. Their only good move, musically, was in housing Frederick Chopin after fleeing partitioned Poland. Chopin, despite his great and civilized music, managed to fit right into this weird alternate lifestyle. He made whoopy with a female writer named George Sand who dressed like a man. Which is fortunate because old Freddy liked to buy her dresses and enjoyed the way they flowed on him as he walked. In literature their greatest writer, Balzac, wrote innumerable volumes of fiction but finally summed it all up with his dying breath, "France sucks!" Ah, if only he'd realized this before attempting to say it in so many millions of words. How many trees might that have spared? French art, such as it is, began with perverts making paintings of plump women laying in bed wearing nothing and making goo-goo eyes at the viewer. From there it moved to mental patients depicting vases of flowers and bowls of fruite for therapy and finally made the big leap to the truly insane, guys on medication filling canvases with square apples and triangular watermelons, often endowed with eyeballs. So, having presented an objective look at France and the French and their, ahem, cultural achievments, I extend the invitation for CC and yourself to become allies in this worthy cause. It should be noted that English don't mind killing abusing Frenchmen, whose sole contribution to civilization has always been the ability to kill some Germans every twenty or so years; a task they've been sadly negligent in of late with dire international repercussions. Another good thing is there aren't many Frenchmen at the SC Forum and most of the ones that post get booed out of the hall almost immediately. So feel free to urinate on them as has become the custome of decent people the world over. I say we opt for some peace and enlightenment and start dismatling that idiotic monstrosity, that oversized radio antenna they're so proud of. Cheez, the damn thing looks like something put up by a wacked out kid with too many parts in his erector set! Ever wonder what kind of people build a giant radio antenna decades before the invention of radio itself? :confused: [ August 07, 2003, 12:52 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuniworth Posted August 7, 2003 Share Posted August 7, 2003 Originally posted by JerseyJohn: Their greatest popular singer was Edith Pilaf, the Little Sparrow, who sang endlessly about how much she hated living in France and how badly she wanted to move somewhere else. Edith Piaff is the prefered spelling, not Pilaf but you can ofcourse say that too. [ August 07, 2003, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: Kuniworth ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 ccbaxter -- Chorizo is really tasty holy mother of mary's pants in a whiskey glass! yes of course it is spanish. sometimes i wonder if certain "nameless" european people, when they butcher a fine pig they come to a good cut of meat....say the PORK LOIN and they throw the good meat away, toss the good stuff in the garbage,and then they say "forget that high-priced good stuff! forget pork chops, i want to eat a small grey meatless gland from a hogs tongue that produces hog spit!" THAT'S FOR ME! i am officially retiring from this thread,(no dont try and stop me) and therefore mr. JERSEY(UN)JOHN will no longer be required to keep the peace,baby! by the way, you did a fantastic job at smashing the french. MAGNIFIQUE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 8, 2003 Share Posted August 8, 2003 disorder Thank you, but far from bashing those fine people I was merely trying to compile a list of their positive virtues. Well, now that the crisis no longer exists. More importantly, now that my food allowance has been cut -- oh, it's just a coincidence that there's a local food shortage now! As I was saying, my work here is done and I shall be departing as well, right after breakfast tomorrow morning. Yes, I still get breakfast -- hey, you can't just cut me off okay! Three locals pause to reflect on life without disorder. "You sure he's going?" "That's what he said, but I don't believe him." "Anyway, he only butchers pigs and lambs and--" "I don't feel safe when he's around." "You sure he's going?" "Yeah, that's what he said." "Anyway, he only butchers steers and -- "You sure he's going?" "Yeah, that's what he said."" [ August 07, 2003, 11:14 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CC Baxter Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 OK, sorry I haven't posted recently, been working long hours. Musically the French favor lines of scantilly clad women heaving their breasts and kicking their legs to insane passages by Jaques Offenbach. My argument against the French is predicated on purely musical lines and it is this: that all the great rock n roll/pop music in the world has been created by English speaking countries (e.g. UK, USA, Ireland, Australia). It's because of the language: music lyrics favour less vowel and more consonant sounds (as in English) whereas French is definitely vowel heavy (Je Ne Regrette Rien!) i am officially retiring from this thread Disorder how typical for a "yank"! Give up because you know you can't win Hopefully that insult will get you back into this thread!, Come on you myopic overweight midwesterner! Jersey, you are on the side of the angels: learned, erudite and witty (I can't beleive you are American ) Let's keep the thread going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Thank you CC and it is likewise. I also find it hard to believe I'm an American and at that an American living in New Jersey! If it's a reincarnation thing some of my last appearances must have been as Vlad the Impaler and Jack the Ripper. Hopefully, having been so saintly this time around I'll come back in a better situation next trip. Try as you will, I don't believe anything will stir the Great disorder from his decision to exit the premises. He's a man of his word and extemely single minded. Unless, of course, you come up with some hideous recollection. Perhaps a half roasted chicken pecking it's way out of the oven and running through town in agony, something like that might lure him back, but it's a longshot. [ August 08, 2003, 08:41 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Three locals pause to reflect on life without disorder. suddenly i become remarkedly aware of my surroundings.....yes. i was discusssing something important regarding sc when suddenly .....just like in the boston strangler movie, everything became ....DISTANT :mad: anywho, i was having a normal game with a feller via email, and i mentioned "big-stick" diplomacy, and it took every bit of restraint inside our little heads to keep our focus on the game for the next couple of turns. not that i was winning or anything, but...there is just no reason for agression , anger, and evil to enter into the sc game play. well, unless you count the treachery, broken promises, and millions killed during the sc game. another group or nation that people really have no problem making fun of, is canadians. even canadians from the west, dislike canadians from the east. when the quebecer's came so close to opting out of can-a-da, it was pointed out to me that if that ocurred, the us would have had a different foreign country on its border, with none of the rules/regs, etc. of canada. would have been an interesting few days, anyway. ATTENTION ONE AND ALL a comment ON TOPIC is about to be made---------------------------------------------------------- regarding nights comment on losing out on info because he is not involved in league play, he is absolutely correct! our pbem list seems now like it's own FORUM, what with each comment being e-mailed to all the recipients. one problem though (take note jerseyjohn) if you forward an e-mail to me with a title like "wann on woo" or similar, i will probably delete it as a PENIS ENLARGEMENT junk mail, or similar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 "Wann on Woo! After all these years they're still haunting me with Wann on Woo! I was young, I got excited, okay? I never meant to do it, okay? Now, for Cryin'out Loud, let me forget that awful Night of the Wann On Woo!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 you sly devil....you had a face tuck didnt you? YOU'RE LOOKING ,MARVELOUS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 Yes, thank you for noticing. The fellow who inflicted it upon me -- I mean, performed the surgery, the late Dr. Tucker, was by my bedside as I regained consciousness. He handed me a mirror and asked how I liked the new look. By way of response he was promptly wan on woo'd. A pity, but then, accidents do happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CC Baxter Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 Glad to see you back in the thread Disorder. I suppose the burgers have run out and you have to occupy your hands somehow Jersey: You're appearance changes with every post. Cosmetic surgery is truly a remarkable thing. BTW, what is it like to have shave behind your ears? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyJohn Posted August 10, 2003 Share Posted August 10, 2003 CC My brother-in-law owns a discount Plastic surgery clinic and I've accumulated a lot of coupons for the place so I figure I may as well use them. Also, it keeps the bill collectors on their toes. "BTW, what is it like to have shave behind your ears? " It's good to finally have some sympathy on this, most people don't understand. Yes, shaving behind the ears is difficult and awkward. And it's a real curse because women love men who look like werwolves! [ August 10, 2003, 02:53 PM: Message edited by: JerseyJohn ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 MORE TECHNOLOGY THE BRITS LAG FAR, FAR, BEHIND IN! state fair this year (you remember "our state fair is a great state fair") is going all out for "diet" foods. two new items....fried snickers bar on a stick, and fried twinkie on a stick (for real!) the first sounds bad but i rather like the decadent sounding FRIED TWINKIE ON A STICK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CC Baxter Posted August 12, 2003 Share Posted August 12, 2003 MORE TECHNOLOGY THE BRITS LAG FAR, FAR, BEHIND IN! state fair this year (you remember "our state fair is a great state fair") is going all out for "diet" foods. two new items....fried snickers bar on a stick, and fried twinkie on a stick (for real!) the first sounds bad but i rather like the decadent sounding FRIED TWINKIE ON A STICK. Sorry Disorder, but once again you are in error. The "Brits" deveopled this sort of chocolate-bar frying technology some decades ago. If you travel to the frozen north of the UK (i.e. Scotland) you will find the locals prefer their Mars Bars deep fried. I kid you not. Some years ago I attended the Edinburgh Festival and after a night out sampling the local beers, headed to the nearest fish and chip shop (takeaway food). There on the menu as brazen as you please was: "DEEP FRIED MARS BAR-------------50p". At first I thought it was a joke but someone in the queue ordered one and right before my eyes the guy behind the counter reached for a Mars Bar from a box, dispensed with the wrapper and dropped the chocolate bar into the bubbling batter. The customer had it with his fish and chips, presumably for desert . I didn't avail myself of this Caledonian delicacy so I cannot comment as to the taste. As I said many posts ago, our cuisine is both cosmopolitan and sophisticated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disorder Posted August 13, 2003 Share Posted August 13, 2003 mars.... is that like a milkyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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